[Aristophanes]

Hello all, I have been going through some psychological turmoil for quite some time and I was hoping someone here might be able to help.

About 4 years ago, I was seeing this girl and was nailing her for about 3 months before she one day told me that she was going to start dating another guy, and so couldn't do this anymore. When I confronted her about it later she said that she didn't think it would be a big deal, to which I responded by asking her if she had thought of me as a placeholder. Her response was a denial and said that she still thought of me as one of her "closest friends", and basically assumed that I would cling to whatever leftovers she was willing to allow me to have. Naturally, I told her not to stop bullshiting me, to which she responded by saying that I didn't call her often enough, to which i didn't say anything.

flash forward 4 weeks and one night when I was walking home from a house party and some guy comes up to me, takes me aside and said that he was sorry for what happened, and asked if I "would do the same if i was in love". I called him a piece of shit and told him to go fuck himself, which he responded by following me and telling me to hit him. when i said that wasn't going to help him feel good about himself, this pathetic excuse of a human being starts telling me some sob story about how he knows how I feel. At this point I leave by telling him that I hope he enjoys kissing the mouth that had my dick in it.

My problem is that even though it has been 4 years, and I have gained at least 5 or 6 notches since then, I can't stop feeling angry at the way I was treated, and that I didn't demand more respect from these people. I know my kind of story isn't unusual around these parts, so I was wondering if some of you could give me some advice on how to stop feeling so humiliated.

[newbie123]

Hey Aristophanes, I know exactly how you feel. I'm not going to give you a long story about what happened with me, but I've been through something similar. It is not easy.

To get over it, here is how I thought of it, have you ever been out to A casino? Casinos have a 51% winning percentage, which means that out of 10 rounds they win 5 maybe 6. But they don't know out of those 10 which ones are going to be winner and which ones are going to be loosers so if let's say the last 4 were loosers, the casino doesn't say 'I'm going to sit this 5th round out' because that could be the winner. So you got to look at your history with women as winners and looses. Now sometimes you'll bet BIG, I mean really BIG, your life savings. And it just so happens that you bet your life savings on this woman, who turned out to be a loss. Now its hard to swallow, and it sticks with you for a long time, these were your life savings that you lost. But you are still alive, and you've now learnt from that lesson to never put your life savings on the line. So if you shift your paradaigm and start looking at the game as just a numbers game, you'll accept that that woman was just a loss and you'll move on to the next set.

[Feo]

too much to read..make it shorter

[Aristophanes]

Thanks Newbie, that's probably the best advice I've heard so far. Mostly of what people I've talk to have said is that I "just need to let it go", which to me just sounds like "shut up and accept your place". I guess it's just good to get some actual perspective. Also, to a certain extent I should probably be thankful, if it wasn't for this, I probably never would have discovered the Red Pill.

[Aristophanes]

Feo,

dl;dr I got dumped for what quite possibly may be the whitest of white knights I've ever encountered, and although I have banged at least 5 other chicks since then, I still haven't been able to stop feeling angry about it, so I'm looking here for advice.

[Goldfinger]

Aristo how old are you man? what city do you live in etc...

I am shocked to see you've only gained 6 bangs in 4 years??? You might not be the kind of guy to chase tail like a dog chasing cars, but it sure helps to get over whatever you're going through. All men go through it, but usually for a lot less time.

My advice would be to focus on yourself and improving you self. join a gym, read some books, buy some new clothes, meet some new people (men and women) and create new circles. You'll soon forget this girl ever existed.

Cheer up bro, you're definitely in the right place at RVF.

[Aristophanes]

I am 25, and live in Ottawa. To date I have 9 notches total, with one threesome. I ended up going through a 2 year dry streak after it happened. It wasn't until I went to live in Europe for a year that I managed to break that streak w/ some eastern European girls. It also might be worth mentioning that this girl was in my program at school and so I was still forced to see her almost every day for a couple years, which might have something to do with why I still feel angry.

I recently discovered The Red Pill just this past spring, and have since started going to the gym regularly, started cold approaching, etc., and I study classical literature in uni (part of what attracted me to the RP/reactionary community) It's definitely helped, I guess what it comes down to is not so much any feeling of loss or attachment or anything like that, but rather the feeling of being abused and humiliated.

[polar]

Sounds like a variation of oneitis. Chalk this to the game, just a random spin of the roulette wheel.

The best cure is to sleep with more women. This isn't a platitude, it's confirmed with personal experience. Living well is the best revenge. Combine with self-development.

Eventually you'll land girl(s) of a quality that the old one can't compare. That's the best way to find peace.

Use the negative experience as a pushing-off point. Over time that will fall off and you'll find your own reasons to keep working on yourself

For instance, I was recently in an LTR with a dancer who was the hottest and most feminine girl I had fucked to that point. It blew up in my face just after I dropped the last of my guard and began to think she's special.

Within two weeks of the issues starting, I fucked a girl, a masseuse, similar enough in looks and personality that side by side they could be confused for sisters. That cured me of the "magic pussy" mindset for the dancer.

Do day approaches to boost your conversational skills, and do online dating to land some dates and get some lays. You won't get 8's or 9's on OKC, but you can land feminine 6's and 7's who are pleasant to be around.

[Onto]

(10-08-2014 08:20 AM)Aristophanes Wrote:  

I guess what it comes down to is not so much any feeling of loss or attachment or anything like that, but rather the feeling of being abused and humiliated.

I know that feeling. It's very difficult to know the best thing to do in any moment of life as we're going through it.

It's like being on a speeding train and most are lucky if they can see with clarity from the caboose what they just passed. The goal is to increase your personal power enough to move forward up the train to the engine where you can finally see everything that's coming.

Don't stay in the caboose. Be brave and move forward, let all that nonsense of the past go. Don't take her, him or what they did so seriously. The best revenge is a life well lived.

[YossariansRight]

Oneitis. Here's a quick and dirty fix for it: Find another chick that has some characteristic, quirk, ass, tits, tattoo, hair, whatever of the chick you're stuck on. Then beast fuck her and dump her on your terms.

You'll get the target of your oneitis out of your system. It may even take a few days to realize it, but you will feel good.

And you should always be approaching, working on your game, crafting your skills. These things will make getting oneitis again almost impossible.

When you have options, that gives you the power. Game gives you the ability to have options.

[Aristophanes]

Hey thanks for the feedback I really appreciate it, especially since most of the people I have talked to tend to say a lot of the same unhelpful stuff based off of their idea of how the world ought to be, rather than their experience of how it is.

The one thing that I think still bothers me after all this time isn't that I think she was special, she wasn't, but rather the fact that she expected me to tolerate being manipulated and taken advantage of, implying how incredibly stupid she must think I am. I understand that in life respect is not given, but earned, but what really burns to this day is the fact that she would rather insist to me and to others that I misunderstood her intention, and flatout contradicting herself in the process, than admit any responsibility for her behaviour. It's easy to chalk this up to typical female narcissism/rationalization hamster, but I can't help but feel that this implies that I give the impression to both strangers and friends that I can be taken advantage of without consequences. My question is if anyone else can understand why this might be, and how can I change it?