yrs down the drain
08-13-2014, 11:13 AM
Just wanted to say HI and intro ive trolled and I really appreciate seeing some comrades in the game here thought I'd finally join.
Im out of a 4 yr relationship and this is as brief of a digest I can make it, while I omit a lot it is still a chunky whine. I am sorry for that but do prefer your honest opinion if I need to try and change I will try. In the meantime though I am going to bruise much punani for now just as I did in my 20's I am reading Roosh and hope I can glimmer just a tad of my younger self with these great tips. As well as hopefully help others here as time goes on and I get past this pos sticking point I am at right now. Here goes...
I recently turned the big 4 0 . And well had 4 yrs deep with the ex-gf....lots of fighting and argueing throughout...but lately sex started failing too. We'd go 3-4 weeks without at times and well for me it's unheard of. Also I've been the only initiater for at least 2 years if im not mistaken. Now for years I had also been asking her to wear something other than my own boxers around the house but nope never listens. Also she's been struggling with an extra 10-20 lbs and i've helped and attempted to work out with...help with the diet. But she won't stick to it. As of about a year ago we had a big fallout and well she put me in my place and made me basically shut the fugg about almost everything with the whole your making me self concious and hurting my feelings bit. So i layed off with the understanding from her that hey if I leave you alone you will just lose it on your own or so she said...well she never did it. And so the sex just started declining futher and further and well I had to keep it all bottled up so as to not upset her.....but I think it just made matters worst because on top of that she never showed any concern when our sex would decline. Never wore lingerie.
On our first date she told me she was overweight and to not judge her because she is going to lose it....well I chose to get to know her personality and overlook it...as it was not really much and just as she said if she lost it and got back in shape she would be damm hot. But then later instead of losing she was packing on more...and so I would call it and at times she would lose the new lbs but never go back and honor her words for the first 10lb set. I started to worry because well even though it is not really a lot of weight and lots of guys would still hit on her. If she were to get pregnant I know she would struggle to recover.
We faced a lot of issues including the house being super dirty at times which was also a new thing for me to live with as it was very clean before she moved in...between her poodle and her own hair shedding it would just get ridiculous eventually we had it out about it and she agreed to follow my pre her schedule.
Later I supplied her w a car and offered hey pay me as you go....a year later still nothing...when I called her out on it I was replied "well it was just going to sit there and rot and you were never gonna sell it"....I was floored and asked her to leave my house. instead she finally coughed up the half its value cost I sold it to her for and stayed. Later I had to revise her rent because for years she was only paying elec and food. and well it was considerble less than my monthly note.
I had to ask for straight up cash because she was going to leave to adopt a distressed family member of 16 a few months ago...all without talking to me first. So when she also without talking to me decided to not do that and instead stay...I had to look at the facts that she was only going to take that liberty because she is saving a lot more than me...so that was a huge uproar of a fight too but once the smoke settled and she contemplated a huge raise she got over a year ago she agreed...but not before threatening that she might as well just move out.
She always bought cards and all that bullshit and stated she loved me. I will say I dont feel she was a gold digger at all but maybe some other descriptor that fits close to it I suppose. We would split restuarant in turns and stuff. But I guess she just felt the man was due to always help more than the woman.
Well between the struggles , the extra weight, the lack of desire to lose it...or show interest in our problems...I finally blew my lid and asked her to just leave.
I do beleive she cared for me deeply but...I just had to stop looking at that and more or less just the facts...I saw myself more unhappy as the years were going to progress and if a kid came into the picture...I felt I would feel SCREWED. Again she didnt care if we didnt have sex. Didnt care if I was ever quiet or pissed...everyday was just a cruise through for her. She def was not cheating on me or anything like that...super super loyal as far as I know...I do not believe that was the problem. I think it was just an issue maybe of a huge array of women who dont want to bother? or think? or maybe too lazy to?
I'm back in the game and trying to stay afloat. Reading Roosh. And just trying to look forward. But well I guess there are somethings I dont fully understand about why this is how things end up every few years. I am certainly more in fear of marriage than ever before. And well the one good thing is that I will stick to bad flags and dumping them a lot sooner now also than before. Most ppl cant really change. I myself am not a fat person..pretty good shape actually and look 30 easy. Sometimes still get carded altho I think their doofuses but hey it happens.
She called me a damm quiter and it haunts me some...but then when I tried to talk some more via text...she started the old games of not answering and well I've given her enough warnings about infuriating me with those nonsense tactics. So I stopped.
Im dating and somewhat happy. (mid 20's somewhat flaky chick but some fun)
Am I a superficial jerk? It wasnt just the weight imo it was the attitude. It felt as though she felt she deserved a lot and was not interested in communicating about our problems...in her eyes our problems didnt exist so there was nothing to talk about. To save her emotional stress and not feed her insecurities..I never repeated anything about weight or low sex drive or less sex as the problem...I simply blamed myself and said I wasnt ready to get married and that I felt that maybe I should. She was very upset and started breaking shit around the house and so I asked her to leave that same day...my patience was very short from argueing the day before also. And well more things being broken and crap I just felt she needed to get out of my house. Im not saying I regret it. I just dont understand if maybe im some sort of a dick who really has no business ever getting married since I cant seem to develop the understanding that some of these cunts need in order to live with them.
She never even really asked or looked into what was really going on. Had no interest even then as she saw us splitting up to say hey listen can we talk? can you tell me what the problem really is? can we work it out? She was just upset that I couldn't find the "courage" as she put it to "commit" and just marry her. And yet the reasons why were right there in her face...because you dont get involved in anything and whatever I ask of you...you turn into an attack on you and so therefore I have to shut the fuck up. BUT SHE NEVER ASKS. She constantly tells me she loves me but yet never cared enough to ask or get involved in resolving any problems....things always fell on me to resolve...at times I was even told there was too much talk going on from me. Hahaha.
Ah another 1 bites the dust...and im hitting the pavement again I was hoping for more at this age...but I guess i should count my blessings staying in shape has kept me young. Frozen dinners do however suck and I cant get into the swing of cooking like I used to so easy.
Are we as men supposed to eventually succumb to basically adopting a full grown adult who gets to remain oblivious to the relationship and other problems just because they are basically sleeping in our beds and gaining weight every year? Are they all like this? because it sure seems that way. If so .. then I have to adjust and lower the standard of what my opinion of a partnership is then?
Peace to all you youngbucks out there bucking...buck away my friends buck away.
Im out of a 4 yr relationship and this is as brief of a digest I can make it, while I omit a lot it is still a chunky whine. I am sorry for that but do prefer your honest opinion if I need to try and change I will try. In the meantime though I am going to bruise much punani for now just as I did in my 20's I am reading Roosh and hope I can glimmer just a tad of my younger self with these great tips. As well as hopefully help others here as time goes on and I get past this pos sticking point I am at right now. Here goes...
I recently turned the big 4 0 . And well had 4 yrs deep with the ex-gf....lots of fighting and argueing throughout...but lately sex started failing too. We'd go 3-4 weeks without at times and well for me it's unheard of. Also I've been the only initiater for at least 2 years if im not mistaken. Now for years I had also been asking her to wear something other than my own boxers around the house but nope never listens. Also she's been struggling with an extra 10-20 lbs and i've helped and attempted to work out with...help with the diet. But she won't stick to it. As of about a year ago we had a big fallout and well she put me in my place and made me basically shut the fugg about almost everything with the whole your making me self concious and hurting my feelings bit. So i layed off with the understanding from her that hey if I leave you alone you will just lose it on your own or so she said...well she never did it. And so the sex just started declining futher and further and well I had to keep it all bottled up so as to not upset her.....but I think it just made matters worst because on top of that she never showed any concern when our sex would decline. Never wore lingerie.
On our first date she told me she was overweight and to not judge her because she is going to lose it....well I chose to get to know her personality and overlook it...as it was not really much and just as she said if she lost it and got back in shape she would be damm hot. But then later instead of losing she was packing on more...and so I would call it and at times she would lose the new lbs but never go back and honor her words for the first 10lb set. I started to worry because well even though it is not really a lot of weight and lots of guys would still hit on her. If she were to get pregnant I know she would struggle to recover.
We faced a lot of issues including the house being super dirty at times which was also a new thing for me to live with as it was very clean before she moved in...between her poodle and her own hair shedding it would just get ridiculous eventually we had it out about it and she agreed to follow my pre her schedule.
Later I supplied her w a car and offered hey pay me as you go....a year later still nothing...when I called her out on it I was replied "well it was just going to sit there and rot and you were never gonna sell it"....I was floored and asked her to leave my house. instead she finally coughed up the half its value cost I sold it to her for and stayed. Later I had to revise her rent because for years she was only paying elec and food. and well it was considerble less than my monthly note.
I had to ask for straight up cash because she was going to leave to adopt a distressed family member of 16 a few months ago...all without talking to me first. So when she also without talking to me decided to not do that and instead stay...I had to look at the facts that she was only going to take that liberty because she is saving a lot more than me...so that was a huge uproar of a fight too but once the smoke settled and she contemplated a huge raise she got over a year ago she agreed...but not before threatening that she might as well just move out.
She always bought cards and all that bullshit and stated she loved me. I will say I dont feel she was a gold digger at all but maybe some other descriptor that fits close to it I suppose. We would split restuarant in turns and stuff. But I guess she just felt the man was due to always help more than the woman.
Well between the struggles , the extra weight, the lack of desire to lose it...or show interest in our problems...I finally blew my lid and asked her to just leave.
I do beleive she cared for me deeply but...I just had to stop looking at that and more or less just the facts...I saw myself more unhappy as the years were going to progress and if a kid came into the picture...I felt I would feel SCREWED. Again she didnt care if we didnt have sex. Didnt care if I was ever quiet or pissed...everyday was just a cruise through for her. She def was not cheating on me or anything like that...super super loyal as far as I know...I do not believe that was the problem. I think it was just an issue maybe of a huge array of women who dont want to bother? or think? or maybe too lazy to?
I'm back in the game and trying to stay afloat. Reading Roosh. And just trying to look forward. But well I guess there are somethings I dont fully understand about why this is how things end up every few years. I am certainly more in fear of marriage than ever before. And well the one good thing is that I will stick to bad flags and dumping them a lot sooner now also than before. Most ppl cant really change. I myself am not a fat person..pretty good shape actually and look 30 easy. Sometimes still get carded altho I think their doofuses but hey it happens.
She called me a damm quiter and it haunts me some...but then when I tried to talk some more via text...she started the old games of not answering and well I've given her enough warnings about infuriating me with those nonsense tactics. So I stopped.
Im dating and somewhat happy. (mid 20's somewhat flaky chick but some fun)
Am I a superficial jerk? It wasnt just the weight imo it was the attitude. It felt as though she felt she deserved a lot and was not interested in communicating about our problems...in her eyes our problems didnt exist so there was nothing to talk about. To save her emotional stress and not feed her insecurities..I never repeated anything about weight or low sex drive or less sex as the problem...I simply blamed myself and said I wasnt ready to get married and that I felt that maybe I should. She was very upset and started breaking shit around the house and so I asked her to leave that same day...my patience was very short from argueing the day before also. And well more things being broken and crap I just felt she needed to get out of my house. Im not saying I regret it. I just dont understand if maybe im some sort of a dick who really has no business ever getting married since I cant seem to develop the understanding that some of these cunts need in order to live with them.
She never even really asked or looked into what was really going on. Had no interest even then as she saw us splitting up to say hey listen can we talk? can you tell me what the problem really is? can we work it out? She was just upset that I couldn't find the "courage" as she put it to "commit" and just marry her. And yet the reasons why were right there in her face...because you dont get involved in anything and whatever I ask of you...you turn into an attack on you and so therefore I have to shut the fuck up. BUT SHE NEVER ASKS. She constantly tells me she loves me but yet never cared enough to ask or get involved in resolving any problems....things always fell on me to resolve...at times I was even told there was too much talk going on from me. Hahaha.
Ah another 1 bites the dust...and im hitting the pavement again I was hoping for more at this age...but I guess i should count my blessings staying in shape has kept me young. Frozen dinners do however suck and I cant get into the swing of cooking like I used to so easy.
Are we as men supposed to eventually succumb to basically adopting a full grown adult who gets to remain oblivious to the relationship and other problems just because they are basically sleeping in our beds and gaining weight every year? Are they all like this? because it sure seems that way. If so .. then I have to adjust and lower the standard of what my opinion of a partnership is then?
Peace to all you youngbucks out there bucking...buck away my friends buck away.
