Sorry that it took me a little while to respond to your message. I respond to your various points below.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I think I'm getting close to that breaking point where this is either going to stagnate or I'm going to get fully immersed into Latin dance. I'm leaning towards the latter.
hahahaha... don't try to fool us. To me, it sounds that you have already found considerable value in the hobby and even latin dance as a focus. I do get your point though about sometimes walking away from something. Dance is a very social interaction, and there can be considerable amount of feelings and personal investment involved, even when you do NOT realize and acknowledge such investment(s). Sometimes various personal rejections or bad experiences can turn a guy off from certain circles, but dance can be a fairly closed community, and guys might feel that some embarassments (and/or decisions that they make) will follow them to other parts of the dance community... including if guys were to get their "hearts broken", if there is such a thing for an RVF guy, by various girl(s).
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I played violin in school and was a guitarist/songwriter for years, then didn't have much time for music scenes in the past few years. Dancing has lit a fire inside of me and is re-invigorating all of my creative musical passions! I'm even picking up my guitar more often now. It has definitely added energy and confidence to my life; just learning the boldness of asking women to dance and leading them through a number is bolstering my masculine frame in a new way. I'm also getting looks of surprise and intrigue when I mention my Salsa dancing to female friends, coworkers and strangers. In fact, I think it was thee conversation topic that helped me pull a few dates with one girl outside of the Salsa scene recently. It's like an automatic "coolness" image shaper and conversation fodder.
I agree that there can be considerable positive dance-related fall out... especially, if you have taken interest in such a hobby.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I know we've hijacked this thread into dance/music in a forum for dating/game advice, but this hobby is definitely helping my vibe and therefore my game.
Personally, I believe that your framing of your concerns in this thread is NOT a large divergence from various RVF themes. Certainly, guys have different opinions on how much value they give to banging girls, and sometimes guys can be looked down upon when they hang around with girls or if they let girls set the frame. We can fall into that trap NO matter what our hobbies and/or work, especially if our hobbies and/or work involve collaborating with women and sometimes even learning from women. I believe that in the end, we do have to consider ourselves and how we view ourselves and to attempt to recognize, to the best of our abilities, when we may be giving too much latitude to women to call some of the shots. I find that sometimes winning over a girl involves giving her some latitude until she feels comfortable that you are NOT going to over power her, then once she recognizes that she will follow your lead and even frequently follow it much further than what is in her own personal interests.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
Salsa is challenging indeed, I still have a long way to go. Some days, I feel a resistance to go out, as if I'm not going to be able to get a handle on it and break in; but once I get out of my house and down to the club or studio social, the momentum and excitement carries me from there.
Probably, those kinds of jitters do NOT completely go away, especially if you are visiting a new dance scene by yourself. However, developing both game and salsa dance skills can allow excuses for practicing and even injecting yourself into socially unfamiliar and uncomfortable environments and still walking away with various kinds of pleasures from it. Sometimes also, I have found that psychologically, I need a back up plan, so if I go to a strange place, I may give myself a time target of an hour or some other predetermined amount of time to give the place a chance.. and if I do NOT like the feeling that I am getting I will have already decided that I am leaving by x time. Then I can still say that I checked it out and I got whatever exploration value from that place.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I've danced with at least 2-3 different girls at each event and met a few cool Salsa wingmen.
I know that some guys may think that we are a bunch of pussies for feeling such pleasure from dancing with girls, but yes, sometimes there is going to be considerable pleasure from dancing with new girls and sometimes with ones that you may have met several venues in the past. These days from time to time, I will run into girls with whom I danced with 10 years previously... It can be good, even though they sure look older... he hehehehe... (I am sure that I do NOT look that great myself - even though I attempt to fake it).
Currently, there are many nights that I dance with 20 or more different girls, and some guys may disagree with that kind of use of energy, and I agree that sometimes it works against me to dance so much and with so many girls without getting any contact information from potential target girls. I have actually walked away from clubs at the end of the night from time to time and being so physically exhausted that I would NOT feel inclined to put any effort into attempting to game any girl... but sometimes in these kinds of situations, some girl may just fall into your lap (because you gamed her on some previous occasion).
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
Right now, I'm breaking it down as a need for muscle memory by practicing as often as possible as well as listening to Salsa records and trying to pick out and count the beats so I at least have a clue of what to do in each song.
I think that's the idea.. just keep doing it and trying to develop good habits and sometimes even trying to throw in some various focuses that you are considering for yourself in the short term... maybe certain moves that you keep repeating or certain patience with the beat or sometimes even purposefully stopping your movement at certain times in the song, during the breaks (which can really inspire the girl regarding the confidence that you may communicate to her with the purposeful stopping and starting. All of that takes practice to get it to flow smoothly and to own the moves.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
JayJuanGee, if you think a supplement of Bachata would help my Salsa I will definitely take a class asap.
From your description, it sounds as if it could be a good investment of your time - especially, if you are perceiving that bachata is currently being played with such frequency in the venues that you visit.
Personally, as I stated several times before, I believe it is NOT a good idea for guys to attempt to learn a lot of dance styles at once, because we gotta focus on attempting to get good at one at a time to inspire confidence in our dance partners. Yet, if we are going to places that play a lot of bachata, then maybe we are going to need to incorporate those styles. I think that you can transfer lessons from one genre to another, and certainly I use techniques from all genres into others. When I dance merengue, i frequently think of it as an opportunity to practice my salsa lead and connection to a different beat.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
Slightly off topic, but I've also been very curious about Swing dancing, a style that is closer to my Rockabilly/Country roots. The rhythm sounds more familiar to me, but the routines look crazily complex! I don't know how many people can gain proficiency in both Salsa/Latin and Swing, but for now I'm dedicating myself to the Latin styles.
There are quite a few people who dance in various genres like this. Personally, I am NOT as turned on by swing music, but I can appreciate that some people will be turned on by swing music. Personally, I would NOT recommend mixing them up too much.. and maybe becoming more proficient with salsa before really experimenting with swing.... but to each his own regarding preferences... and what may be drawing you in that direction.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I am not sure why I did not put 2 and 2 together and get into dancing years ago when I was a working musician playing gigs and had several friends who were into Swing/Country/Mambo etc. At any rate, Salsa is re-igniting those passions to new levels and helping me break into a big new city.
Yep. Sometimes, we will reflect upon why we did NOT start a hobby earlier... but really, we cannot relive the past.... and we are only going to get older.. so better enjoy some youthful things while still young... hehehehe.
And, actually, as you know musicians can sometimes be playing until they are quite old, so maybe you never completely quit with those kinds of hobbies, as long as you keep practicing and salsa dancing gives you more reason to stay in touch with your musicality sides.
Quote: (11-10-2014 11:48 AM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:
I'm contemplating a membership to my studio if I'm going to be taking several more private/group lessons, although if I can dedicate myself enough, at some point I can imagine not needing lessons.
I see some guys who take fairly basic or intermediate classes for longer than I have been dancing, and I am sort of inclined to believe that they are taking classes for the socializing purposes because they may NOT be learning very many dance skills from some of the classes that they attend.
At some point, you will find that you get a lot more learning from mere practice and coming up with your own stuff... though sometimes it still can be helpful to watch some other guys or even attend some classes, even as a more advanced dancer.... and you can usually get quite a lot from classes in the first year or two of dancing... but if you go to the same dance studio, for your own personal dance advancement, you may need some rotation in your instructors, too.