[RexImperator]

(07-30-2014 03:22 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

There is one thing I need to address here - sex drive. If after two weeks of not masturbating or having sex you don't want to have sex with just about any reasonably decent girl then you may just have a low sex drive which will directly impact your motivation to go out and get girls. Every guy I know who gets a lot of girls have a high, consistent sex drive.

@RexImperator But why do this, if you are not after just sex? Focus your energy on finding a girl you are really motivated about. Focus on day game or social circles activities to meet women. Make meeting women part of your social activities then there is not need to motivate yourself to go out.

True... I've kind of given up going out at nights for the most part as it doesn't mesh well with my fitness/health goals. I've mostly been doing incidental day game. I don't have much of a social circle anymore but that may be part of the problem right there...

I think I do have a low sex drive but it's hard to tell what is cause and what is effect with respect to that.

[Sebastian]

I think problem lies in 'she is uglier, fatter and makes less than me, she will suck my cock' mentality.

That Entitlement mindset can work against you.

[Rush87]

This is true. Before I learnt any form of game I got nothing. If there were 50 girls in a nightclub I wouldn't even see the girls who were 7's or less. There is a lot of opportunity out there, but a lot of guys [Myself included] didn't even acknowledge it.

Since that point I've come full circle. I banged the 5's, 6's & 7's of the world [Even some 4's] - Grew tired of it & am now content to get the occasional 8 or 9 albeit every 4-6 weeks rather than every weekend [& I'm happy with that]. 10 years ago it would have been a very different story.

[lalafufu]

(07-31-2014 12:35 AM)Rush87 Wrote:  

This is true. Before I learnt any form of game I got nothing. If there were 50 girls in a nightclub I wouldn't even see the girls who were 7's or less. There is a lot of opportunity out there, but a lot of guys [Myself included] didn't even acknowledge it.

Since that point I've come full circle. I banged the 5's, 6's & 7's of the world [Even some 4's] - Grew tired of it & am now content to get the occasional 8 or 9 albeit every 4-6 weeks rather than every weekend [& I'm happy with that]. 10 years ago it would have been a very different story.

how many years or months did you spend laboring away at 5s and 6s

It seems like this is a phase every self-trained player goes through even the good looking ones who are 8s themselves

[Rush87]

(07-31-2014 12:50 AM)lalafufu Wrote:  

how many years or months did you spend laboring away at 5s and 6s

It seems like this is a phase every self-trained player goes through even the good looking ones who are 8s themselves

I had a long term relationship for my entire teenage years. Once that ended I spent around 6 years gaming 5's.

Eventually I burnt out. The moment of clarity came in a dirty Sydney dive bar at 2am. My friends had moved on to the next bar & I was stuck with the slightly chubby 5 that'd I been working on for the past 20 minutes.

She was throwing cliche shit tests when my mind started to wander. I realised that I'd spent all of my 20s [So far] getting into shape, learning game, building a business, [Trying] to become well rounded & yet here I was saying good bye to my friends to continue overcoming shit tests from this sassy office worker. It just wasn't worth it anymore.

[Onto]

(07-30-2014 03:14 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I was actually going to post a question asking this. i.e. "Do I just need to lower my standards drastically?"

I don't drink a lot anymore so I think the only way to possibly be motivated enough to do this is to find a plain girl (4/5) who has a really stellar personality. Otherwise, I will not have the drive to put in the effort. Even then I will constantly make excuses not to.

I once thought as you do. For me, I was sick of dating demonic sluts so I got into an LTR with an angel, a girl of impeccable character (Mexican), but I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I hoped that I would learn to be attracted to her over time, but after 2+ years it just didn't happen, and I had to break it off and break her heart in the process.

Strong, sexual chemistry is the cornerstone of a successful relationship.

[Pinocchio]

You can also increase your work load. A 7 is the lowest I will date/ bang and I'm prob doing +30 daygame stops per week at the moment.

[jariel]

There's a lot of good insight in this thread.

I'm against lowering one's standards only because whether you realize it or not, you'll internalize the fact that you're banging lower quality girls, and let's be honest about what a lower quality girl is.

I guess it's one thing if you're keeping it limited to one night stands, but most won't do that, they'll turn it into a fuck buddy situation, and that's only going to help contribute to a lower-self esteem in the long run.

We're not women, but we're still human beings, let's not act like things don't affect us on a subconscious level as well.

If you can't bang what you want, then that's just means on some level or levels, you're not good enough, so better to spend more time increasing your value than diving into the bargain bin just to get your dick wet.

Be better than that, you're not a squirrel, don't chase nuts.

[Lizard King]

(07-30-2014 05:24 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

it is only from experience that we can discover our true selves and what we really like and don't like.

Isn't that an undercurrent, or sub-theme of Game? Knowing yourself, and knowing how to get what you want?


@Jariel. I agree with you on the importance of increasing personal value in order to achieve goals, but my take on the OP's concept here is that lowering standards, for a period of time(not permanently), is a means to an end: generating sexual currency/status and seeking higher quality sexual liasons. A girl might be 5-6, but you could have excellent chemistry with her.

I used to think the concept of sexual chemistry was a myth or bullshit, but as I grew older I realised I was having better sex with some girls than others(regardless of their SMV).

[Mage]

For me Game was never about sex, not even from the beginning.

It was always about dominating attractive (7 and above) women both sexually and spiritually.

Even before I knew Game, I was simply too proud to accept sex from a 5 and below. I would rather live celibate. This pride led me to discover Game instead of settling for what lowly women offered themselves to me at that time.

[Troy Francis]

This is an interesting topic.

I've turned down or not pursued a lot of lays I could have got because the girl wasn't up to my standards. My notch count could have been considerably higher.

On the one hand, the experience you gain from banging any girl, hot or not, is useful, and the state high you get from it will transfer, yielding other lays. Most natural players with high notch counts have banged a lot of uggs in with the hotties.

On the other hand, life is short, and I've got better things to do with my time than bang a 6. Plus I can't afford all the Viagra bills.

[Nomad77]

(07-31-2014 02:07 AM)Onto Wrote:  

(07-30-2014 03:14 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I was actually going to post a question asking this. i.e. "Do I just need to lower my standards drastically?"

I don't drink a lot anymore so I think the only way to possibly be motivated enough to do this is to find a plain girl (4/5) who has a really stellar personality. Otherwise, I will not have the drive to put in the effort. Even then I will constantly make excuses not to.

I once thought as you do. For me, I was sick of dating demonic sluts so I got into an LTR with an angel, a girl of impeccable character (Mexican), but I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I hoped that I would learn to be attracted to her over time, but after 2+ years it just didn't happen, and I had to break it off and break her heart in the process.

Strong, sexual chemistry is the cornerstone of a successful relationship.

I would agree and disagree. Strong chemistry yes but it doesn't have to be sexual. The sexual part never last, you will get tired of banging any girl regardless of beauty. As the old saying goes: show me a beautiful woman and I will show you a man that's tired of fucking her. What is necessary though is that you LIKE the woman. You have to like her the way you like your best friend.

Chemistry is very real. We have chemistry with both people and animals and if it's not there from the very beginning then it never will be. Chemistry is the critical element of all successful LTR.

[Nomad77]

Good stuff from Napolean Hill. Thanks to Jariel for passing it along.

"Not every person knows, however, that over indulgence in sex expression may become a habit as destructive and as detrimental to creative effort as narcotics or liquor." In summary, he states that sex without love can be eventually harmful to men. That somehow love provides the controlling factor. And I agree, sex within the context of love IS the best kind of sex I have ever had. And being in a loving, nurturing relationship can do wonders for you in every way.

http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sex_abu..._grow_rich

[tiggaling]

I think this "only have sex with those you love" is Christian/blue pill propaganda.

What what often makes sex "good" is connection, chemistry, desire, passion, stimulation. These are all positive things.

Love is a bonus OR the killer prize. But maintaining a love connection or making it happen in the first place is the challenge I would have thought.

[Nomad77]

He doesn't say to have sex ONLY when you are in love. He says Love is a controlling and beneficial influence. Love is also a word with many different meanings and a very broad application.

[eradicator]

probably not what you want to hear, but I would rather jerk off than have sex with a 6 at this point.

[Troy Francis]

I would go further. I think that sex and 'love' are entirely divisible. And I think 'romantic love' is a very problematic concept. It probably doesn't really exist, or certainly not in in any sort of blue pill way, anyway.

The best sex I've had has not been in 'loving' relationships. The best sex I've had has been first time sex with girls I'd never met before.

(07-31-2014 08:31 AM)tiggaling Wrote:  

I think this "only have sex with those you love" is Christian/blue pill propaganda.

What what often makes sex "good" is connection, chemistry, desire, passion, stimulation. These are all positive things.

Love is a bonus OR the killer prize. But maintaining a love connection or making it happen in the first place is the challenge I would have thought.

[kaotic]

Nomad, sex is easy, had a 6.5 tinder last night, of course because I lowered by standards by a point.

[Pride male]

I had a hard time lowering my standards primarily because of fear of what people would say and getting laughed at. Like Heartiste says, game can only take you so far, banging women 2 points above you. So after failing to get the hottest chicks, my ego was shot straight to hell. I settled. Like a friend told me,'You don't fuck the face, you fuck the pussy!' So I fucked anything I could get my dick in.

Forgot who wrote this, 'Show me a man who can't get laid and I'll show you a narcissist who won't lower his standards.'

[Onto]

(07-31-2014 12:16 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Forgot who wrote this, 'Show me a man who can't get laid and I'll show you a narcissist who won't lower his standards.'

There are different reasons why guys aren't getting laid. I haven't had sex, that was good for me anyways, in probably 3 years. I'm 43 though, and my reasons are that I don't want to bang American women. I've been banging them for 27 years. I've been through them all and I'm through with them all.

After dating foreign women, it's very hard to go back, especially when your older.

I don't know, maybe that does make me somewhat narcissistic because I don't think American women are worthy of me......but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

[lalafufu]

(07-31-2014 05:38 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(07-31-2014 12:16 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Forgot who wrote this, 'Show me a man who can't get laid and I'll show you a narcissist who won't lower his standards.'

There are different reasons why guys aren't getting laid. I haven't had sex, that was good for me anyways, in probably 3 years. I'm 43 though, and my reasons are that I don't want to bang American women. I've been banging them for 27 years. I've been through them all and I'm through with them all.

After dating foreign women, it's very hard to go back, especially when your older.

I don't know, maybe that does make me somewhat narcissistic because I don't think American women are worthy of me......but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

how do you resist the urge to bang for 3 years

[RexImperator]

(07-31-2014 06:46 PM)lalafufu Wrote:  

(07-31-2014 05:38 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(07-31-2014 12:16 PM)Pride male Wrote:  

Forgot who wrote this, 'Show me a man who can't get laid and I'll show you a narcissist who won't lower his standards.'

There are different reasons why guys aren't getting laid. I haven't had sex, that was good for me anyways, in probably 3 years. I'm 43 though, and my reasons are that I don't want to bang American women. I've been banging them for 27 years. I've been through them all and I'm through with them all.

After dating foreign women, it's very hard to go back, especially when your older.

I don't know, maybe that does make me somewhat narcissistic because I don't think American women are worthy of me......but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

how do you resist the urge to bang for 3 years

With an occasional "pot noodle and a wank." Or, get married.

@Pride male- I thought narcissism was attractive, dark triad etc.?

[Fighting888]

I think the consensus here is that you should gain experience with subpar girls to increase your confidence and gaming abilities, which can act as a stepping stone to getting with hotter girls. However, the end goal, once you've upped your game, is to exclusively go after girls who are 7+.

[Hamsterchoker]

I use the boner test. And anyone 5 or below automatically fails it. In fact, even when I am naked with them, I cannot get it up. I don't get the mentality of chasing notches, why have something that you don't even like? For me, game is about fun and pleasure, and 5 and below are the antithesis of that.

[Nomad77]

There are some girls that may not be that good looking but they can be very sexual. Brazil has a lot of these.