[robreke]

Been seeing a younger woman for a little over a month. We've had two passionate bang sessions ( our last two dates) at my place.
We haven't had any "talk" or claimed exclusivity though she's asked me to do things with her in future like go to a college football game a month away...etc.
She went home this weekend...and from text activity...I suspect she may be with her old boyfriend or some guy while she's there. for example...she usually texts back pretty quick....but this morning about 10:30ish......I just texted " Gmornin doll" ( she likes to be called that ).....she waited almost four hours....until the afternoon....and she texted back just "Hola" (she's a latina ) as if she was trying to sneak in a quick text while the guy was in the bathroom. I know...I may be overthinking it...but my intuition is sometimes good.
I want to straight up ask her if she saw someone when she was home when I see her again....she's actually supposed to be coming back tonight to hang out and bang. But....at this rate...and as it's getting later in the day....she may not. That may even confirm it more. Is it cool to ask a girl you've been banging that you like this question without being "beta" or "too possessive"? btw....I do have other girls in the pipeline...just kinda like this one.

[Brodiaga]

You know what they say: you never lose your girl, you just lose your turn.

[robreke]

(07-27-2014 02:07 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

You know what they say: you never lose your girl, you just lose your turn.

Pithy....but not helpful.

[Brodiaga]

I wouldn't bring this up. This is the kind of subject girls bring up if they want to be exclusive with you. Coming from a guy it just seems too needy. I would stop messaging her too, at least for a couple of days, unless she initiates contact. I would focus on other girls in the pipeline for now.

[Lizard King]

What will you do if she is?

Don't you feel like you're investing too much emotionally? It's causing you to have oneitis after 2 bangs.

Put all those thoughts of "did you see someone at home" because they're losing thoughts. Replace them with "I don't need her", "I don't care if she did because I can move on and bang another fine girl".

[robreke]

(07-27-2014 02:20 PM)Trev Wrote:  

What will you do if she is?

Don't you feel like you're investing too much emotionally? It's causing you to have oneitis after 2 bangs.

Put all those thoughts of "did you see someone at home" because they're losing thoughts. Replace them with "I don't need her", "I don't care if she did because I can move on and bang another fine girl".

I agree. To answer your question...I don't think I would be pissed at her. This may sound corny but I want to know what kind of a girl she is....is she a sleep around whore?.....or is she a one fuck at a time kind of girl? I'd probably would be disappointed...but I wouldn't go off on her. I'd probably bang her one last time then never call her if I knew she was doing other guys vs...if she wasn't...I'd keep her around longer term. Also I'm kind of new to game...just started getting regular dates and bangs so I haven't "shut off" my emotions yet.

[Rutting Elephant]

If you "suspect" you are already "beta." Next her and forget her.

Edit: all these ellipses (...) indicate that you are indecisive. Take action and to hell with regrets.
No more dotdotdots

[Dantes]

(07-27-2014 02:33 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(07-27-2014 02:20 PM)Trev Wrote:  

What will you do if she is?

Don't you feel like you're investing too much emotionally? It's causing you to have oneitis after 2 bangs.

Put all those thoughts of "did you see someone at home" because they're losing thoughts. Replace them with "I don't need her", "I don't care if she did because I can move on and bang another fine girl".

I agree. To answer your question...I don't think I would be pissed at her. This may sound corny but I want to know what kind of a girl she is....is she a sleep around whore?.....or is she a one fuck at a time kind of girl? I'd probably would be disappointed...but I wouldn't go off on her. I'd probably bang her one last time then never call her if I knew she was doing other guys vs...if she wasn't...I'd keep her around longer term. Also I'm kind of new to game...just started getting regular dates and bangs so I haven't "shut off" my emotions yet.

Then enjoy the sex with her and leave it at that. All girls will disappoint you if you have high expectations. Enjoy the ride and don't be the first to bring up seeing other people and exclusivity.

[Chewbacon]

why does it matter if she is banging some other dude?

That's the attitude you should be having. She's not your gf, don't worry about anything else if you're still hitting it.

[Vaun]

Why do you want to know? Thats what you should be asking yourself. You answered it yourself, you kinda like this one. Sounds like you're getting feelings for her, and she's more than a bang to you. If she's nothing more you she be glad she has another guy spending time and money on her.

[Captain Gh]

This one is a big no no my friend!! Never ask her that question because she will think that you're trying to cage her into a relationship and you'll never see her again. As a newbie, your hardest challenge will be not to fall into oneitis. Keep working on your inner game for that one. Harder said then done, but for your sake you gotta get there no matter what.

My advice is to keep your mouth shut about this and the next time you see her fuck her like you truly hate her, none of that passionate shit. Fucking her like that will help bring you harvest that mentality. I know you're reading this and say to yourself that I'm jaded as fuck. Fine because 2 years ago I would've taught the same thing, and that's the reason this game is hard and very few men want to do it. Welcome to the Big Leagues my friend!

[weambulance]

Well, come on guys, there is a valid reason to want to know if she's fucking other dudes: STDs.

Otherwise, who cares unless you're trying to LTR her? Get some other girls on the line.

[Onto]

Sounds like she's in college and if I remember right you are in your early 40's? Nice work!!

If you suspect she's banging other dudes then she probably is. Big mistake texting her "Good morning", but you know that now.

[robreke]

Thanks for the pep talk guys and metaphoricaly slapping some sense into me. Whats a good mindset and attitude to have with her once we get together again? I definitely dont want to come across as butthurt.

[PapayaTapper]

If it's starting to turn into a regular thing I don't ever ask. I tell them. "I don't sleep with women who are sleeping with other guys" and leave it at that.

[Lizard King]

(07-27-2014 04:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Thanks for the pep talk guys and metaphoricaly slapping some sense into me. Whats a good mindset and attitude to have with her once we get together again? I definitely dont want to come across as butthurt.

Don't worry about what your mindset when you're with her(it should be focused on banging her, I think).

Worry about your mindset when you are not with her. Actively seek and bang more women.

If you want LTR with her, she probably doesn't think enough of you to want the same if she is banging someone else so soon after you, I'm afraid to say.

"You are the prize". Not the other way around.

[Ensam]

This is the Pascal's wager of casual flings. She either is or she isn't. If you ask she'll either tell you the truth or lie. Or she's not banging anyone else right now but might meet someone else she wants to bang tomorrow - she won't be lying when she tells you she's not sleeping with anybody else but then wont update you when she starts.

Just assume she is and act accordingly.

[Onto]

You want her to be the one pushing for exclusiveness. The more you act like you don't need her and are living a life of purpose, the more likely it is she will want to be with you.

[robreke]

delete

[CJ]

I'm usually pretty good at reading these situations too, in fact, I'm rarely wrong. If you're like that, then she probably is. Up to you how much you care about it.

If you really want to know, and don't care about the girl at all, go ahead and ask. You have a right to know, and if she walks, she walks. Just make sure to follow your question up with a trip to the clinic if you've been going raw.

Personally, so long as you have other girls in your rotation, this shouldn't really matter. Just make sure you never care more about her than she does you, because that's how she'll gain all the control.

[iamdegaussed]

if you never set the frame of exclusivity at the beginning, you cannot assume it. And unfortunately you can never even ask this question without losing a ton of hand in the relationship.

Your gut is probably right about this situation, but what her gut is going to tell her when/if you hang out again is that you want more from the relationship than she does and that will probably be the end of it.

[robreke]

Update :Turns out she wasn't from what I can tell. She was sick at home. She came over that night and still sick. I kind of kept her at arm's length so I wouldn't catch it. We slept together but no bang as she was recovering. Did the beta snuggle thing. I sent her on her way in the morning and will touch base late in the week. If she's better, I'll ask her out again. Meantime, I've lined up one more date with another girl and have one more in the planning process.

Apparently I'm not as good as reading these things as I thought. Over imagining I suppose. I'll chalk it up to being a relative newbie. Nonetheless, still damn valuable advice from you guys for my future in gaming and female relationships. Thanks.

[CJ]

So... while you're right to always be on alert, don't make yourself paranoid. With your read being off, you may need to step back and analyze just how much you care about this girl (I'm guessing it's more than you'd care to admit).

While others on the forum may disagree with me, there's nothing wrong with being into a girl and actually wanting a relationship, just so long as you keep her wanting you, more than you want her.

However, if your present goals are to bang as many women as possible, you need to step back a bit from this one and find at least one other girl you can work on, and ideally start banging ASAP.

Remember, it's still Summer, but the smart squirrel isn't waiting until Fall to start stashing away as many acorns as possible for the long Winter ahead.

[polar]

Never ask if a girl is seeing other dudes. If you have doubts, wrap it up. She should be wondering if you're seeing other girls (she doesn't need to know, but you HAVE to imply that you could).

If a girl wants strange dick, she'll get it regardless of what she says. This doesn't mean all girls are back alley hos...Just means that given the right conditions (guaranteed anonymity) and a a guy with enough relative value to you (Brad Pitt), she'll have her legs at quarter to three faster than you can say " I miss you." The hamster will rationalize it away given a high enough difference in value.

Your job is to make your commitment to her conditional. Make her work for it. It's her job to add value to you, give you access to her cooch, and demand commitment in exchange. It's your job to keep your value up.

The best summary of this online:
http://laidnyc.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/...nd-lauren/

If she's out of town, I'm a firm believer that you need to be talking to other girls, if not new girls (best) then at least girls you have previously laid or have the ability to get laid with. This will keep you from turning sappy.

Get some phone numbers at the bar.

Chat up that cute cashier.

Ask for directions to the nearest pet shop.

You don't have to pull the trigger with the new girls (hell, just take their numbers and then don't follow through if it's against your code of ethics), but you MUST have an air of outcome independence, and knowing that you still have the ability to get new leads is the best way to do it. Online is not a good substitute.

Make your mission, not your woman, your highest priority. You have to imply that you're willing to lose her in order to keep her attracted.

[kaotic]

Simple Answer: NO

Reason: Makes you look insecure, puts pressure on her, could potentially scare her away, get her hamster spinning.

Afterthoughts: Always assume any girl you're fucking is also fucking someone else. Don't think twice about it and flirt/fuck other girls.