[RexImperator]

I got this one last night. I was checking out a new venue with an outdoor bar, and I was just about to bail out and leave, having done no approaches, when a cute girl (solid 7 for me, exactly my "type"- thin, dirty blonde, blue eyes, girl-next-door qualities, 100% WB) came up and opened me asking for a cigarette. I don't smoke so she got one from another guy nearby, but then she asked me for a light. "Why would I have a light?" I laughed. I told her smoking wasn't healthy. She said, "I only smoke when I'm drunk, sometimes you need to let go" but that she should know better, being a "nutritionist" so I teased her about that. She didn't look drunk at all, BTW. Nutrition/fitness is one of the things I'm really interested in so we had a good half hour plus chat on related topics.

Turned out she used to live nearby to me but had since moved a bit further away and was back in town to visit friends. I managed some light touching but I'd say I didn't escalate enough/at all really. I used a variation on one of Roosh's lines when she told me she was a vegetarian. I said, "if we were cooking a meal together it wouldn't work at all since I would make pork BBQ and you would make some awful...soy burgers." She actually completed the sentence more or less and that one went over rather well. Roosh's advice confirmed once again.

Overall I suspect I needed more teasing/push, since I'm mostly used to daytime interactions. I might have enjoyed the conversation and staring into her eyes a bit too much. Not sure what other "beta" things I did. At some level I was probably getting too much validation from a cute girl's attention and not acting "aloof" enough. I felt solid with my body language, though. Eventually, one of her friends came to get her as they were leaving. As she left I asked for her phone number and she kind of frowned and gave me the thread title answer. Then she stopped and said, "if I see you next time I'm here again I'll give it to you." Weird.

Do you think there were things I did wrong which led to that result, or was I just her entertainment for a while? She only asked for my name upon parting, and I know Roosh has written that indicates the latter. Time to re-read Bang.

[Comte De St. Germain]

She was using you for validation enough said. You were being fucked with hardcore just to satisfy her ego as she played right into your hands. I've had this done to me and I've done it to multiple girls myself(usually (5s or low 6s). She felt like she was better than you so she teased you.

[Virtus]

Pretty much she said this: you don't tingle my Gina by blabbering about boring fitness and nutrition that I spent the whole week learning about on school . Nexttime , if you're a good boy and will seek me out to dance for me again I will dangle my phone number in front of you too. Lots good that will do you

[Parlay44]

This is the rudest no you can get. I'd tell her to fuck off at that point and move on to the next girl. She's not worth any more of your time.

[RexImperator]

Damn. It's even worse than I thought... So what would you advise for the future? (Not with her, obviously, but in general...)

It sounds like I am going to have to work on "aloofness" and find how to bring whole new levels of aggression to this.

Regarding eye contact, should I look less into her eyes after that initial meeting? Look at her forehead, not into her eyes, or act distracted, etc.? I'm thinking I might need to work on looking at her when I talk, and looking away when she talks.

[Virtus]

Next time escalate faster so it takes less time to find out if she's into you

[RexImperator]

Part of me wonders if during the first half on the convo I was on the right track but then later I slipped into boring beta mode.

At one point she talked about getting cold easily, due to her diet so I grabbed her arm, "Here, let me see." She didn't mind at all.

[RURALGAMER]

Maybe I'm too cynical about giving any financial investment but she would have to be seriously fucking awesome for me to bother with her after she asked me for a free hand out (the smoke). I'll usually only take MY time if I re-frame her ass by instructing her to give me something (drink or smoke in this case)

I don't have tolerance for bitches that troll shmucks for free shit at a bar.

[freewheeler]

The fact that she felt comfortable asking you for a free cigarette and was serious about it, might have been a bad sign in the first place. Usually when girls are into me they're walking on eggshells and go out of their way not to inconvenience me in any way, especially when we first meet. I don't go out at night however and wasn't there to see your interaction in person. Your gut instinct is the best judge in this case.

She sounds like she never was really interested to begin with, basically lumped you in the WNB category and then decided to use you for material gain.

Now you have a fresh memory of what it's like to be used by a woman, thankfully you didn't lose much. Move on and don't let it happen again.

(06-08-2014 12:19 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Damn. It's even worse than I thought... So what would you advise for the future? (Not with her, obviously, but in general...)

It sounds like I am going to have to work on "aloofness" and find how to bring whole new levels of aggression to this.

Regarding eye contact, should I look less into her eyes after that initial meeting? Look at her forehead, not into her eyes, or act distracted, etc.? I'm thinking I might need to work on looking at her when I talk, and looking away when she talks.

Rex, read your quoted post above. The fact that you're asking stuff like this tells me that you're in a disadvantageous headspace. I don't think any game advice will really help you reach your potential if you keep coming at it from your current paradigm that seems very cerebral.

You need to get more into feeling and being rather than thinking.

It's more about being natural than forcing yourself to adopt rigid behaviours that coincide with your private logic.

I think you aren't being polarizing enough or really sparking any attraction if you're worried about where to look. In my experience, when women are attracted to me, they usually never break eye contact and the sexual tension naturally continues to build. Ultimately however, you can do anything as long as it is what YOU WANT to do and is not coming from a place of reactivity to the girl or trying to "game" her.

Try going out with a good wing that you can learn from. Have you ever felt "in the zone" when talking to girls?

[RexImperator]

Not sure. Actually that one felt fairly good as far as conversations go. She had very strong eye contact with me the whole time, and I maintained it. So we both stared into each others' eyes for most of that convo. But apparently that was just a ploy. (?). I would deliberately break off eye contact at times only because I've read that constantly maintaining it can come of as weird.

I can remember a dinner date once that was going really well. I guess it was obvious because some random guy came up to me at the table and said, "Looks like you've got a live one there!" At the time I was thoroughly "blue pill" so this made me mad, because he said it in front of my date, haha.

Sounds like you are advocating forgetting all the game type advice and just working on being "present". Which is all good. I think my habitual state is too agreeable (not wanting to offend) and I need to tease/push more. I notice that the more I tease, and act "unfiltered" (not caring if I offend) the better the response I get from girls.

I never gave her a cigarette. That was some other guy. I just talked to her.

[Parlay44]

Dude ...women are there to milk you for your attention and your money(free drinks and free dinner). In their heads they're thinking "How long can I string this motherfucker along before he gets pissed off and leaves?"

Your job is to entertain yourself first and her second. You're the bouncer to the exclusive party that she wants access to. And the more she lets you isolate and escalate the more you keep the party going. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

[Carlos100]

It's not a sign that she has a serious LTR if she refuses to give out her number?

[RexImperator]

(06-08-2014 06:44 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Dude ...women are there to milk you for your attention and your money(free drinks and free dinner). In their heads they're thinking "How long can I string this motherfucker along before he gets pissed off and leaves?"

Your job is to entertain yourself first and her second. You're the bouncer to the exclusive party that she wants access to. And the more she lets you isolate and escalate the more you keep the party going. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

I think I am missing something, because I was enjoying myself, and enjoying the conversation.

[Parlay44]

(06-08-2014 07:10 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

(06-08-2014 06:44 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Dude ...women are there to milk you for your attention and your money(free drinks and free dinner). In their heads they're thinking "How long can I string this motherfucker along before he gets pissed off and leaves?"

Your job is to entertain yourself first and her second. You're the bouncer to the exclusive party that she wants access to. And the more she lets you isolate and escalate the more you keep the party going. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

I think I am missing something, because I was enjoying myself, and enjoying the conversation.

I bet you'd be enjoying it more with your hand sliding up her thigh.

The point of this great ambiguous dance is to get her naked and sweaty. If she's not on board to go there then find a girl that is. Sex first. Relationship 2nd ...if at all.

[RexImperator]

(06-08-2014 07:18 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

(06-08-2014 07:10 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

(06-08-2014 06:44 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Dude ...women are there to milk you for your attention and your money(free drinks and free dinner). In their heads they're thinking "How long can I string this motherfucker along before he gets pissed off and leaves?"

Your job is to entertain yourself first and her second. You're the bouncer to the exclusive party that she wants access to. And the more she lets you isolate and escalate the more you keep the party going. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

I think I am missing something, because I was enjoying myself, and enjoying the conversation.

I bet you'd be enjoying it more with your hand sliding up her thigh.

The point of this great ambiguous dance is to get her naked and sweaty. If she's not on board to go there then find a girl that is. Sex first. Relationship 2nd ...if at all.

Well, yeah.



I'm pretty sure that at the time I was nursing a semi thinking about pounding that.

Sounds like the lesson is to initiate more touching and escalate. Don't get stuck in conversational mode.