[bacon]

I recently started talking to a high school friend I havent seen or spoken to in a decade. I am torn because he is telling me how happy he is to be getting married and I want to be honest and tell him to really consider his options.

The guy is late 20s living in NYC working in a high paying in demand profession so income wise he has a lot going for him. He has been dating this girl for several years even for a couple in a long distance relationship when they lived in different cities. So I think he doesnt have a lot of experience with girls and is just settling for her. She is a 6 thats thin and is in high paying profession so she also makes good money and is the same age as him. They are definately equals in the sexual marketplace NOW but in a couple years with the wall not far from hitting her and as he makes more money he will be far exceed her.

So I want to at least bring up the idea of sexual market place and how he is foolish for settling now. I also want to tell him to stack his cash until for the next decade and then marry a girl 10 years younger than him with a prenup protecting all his premarital assests.

I fear its useless to bring this up since he already brought up moving to the suburbs to start a family with her in a couple years once he has saved up mony so I think he is too far gone.

He described her as funny, quick witted, and keeps him on my toes. Which I just translated to mean ball buster.

Thanks RVF for any thoughts or suggestions.

[Tengen]

"My sincerest condolences."

[Vacancier Permanent]

Do it indirectly. Invite him to join you in BKK or somewhere else in Asia. Then, slowly show him the good life as a man. Show him how it is to live like a rock star there while swimming in young, sweet and feminine women.

If he can't see it while there, then he is hopeless and there wouldn't be much you or anyone could do.

Bringing him to a pussy paradise is the best and safest bet to open his eyes and mind to a different reality.

[Quintus Curtius]

(05-26-2014 04:09 AM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  

Do it indirectly. Invite him to join you in BKK or somewhere else in Asia. Then, slowly show him the good life as a man. Show him how it is to live like a rock star there while swimming in young, sweet and feminine women.

If he can't see it while there, then he is hopeless and there wouldn't be much you or anyone could do.

Bringing him to a pussy paradise is the best and safest bet to open his eyes and mind to a different reality.

This is about as good as you can do, but in my experience, it's something best left unsaid.

Lead by example. If he's observant, he will eventually connect the dots.

[Mage]

Has anyone here ever successfully saved an engaged friend from marrying a bad woman?

Is it even possible?

[Espresso]

(05-26-2014 03:59 AM)bacon Wrote:  

I recently started talking to a high school friend I havent seen or spoken to in a decade. I am torn because he is telling me how happy he is to be getting married and I want to be honest and tell him to really consider his options.

The guy is late 20s living in NYC working in a high paying in demand profession so income wise he has a lot going for him. He has been dating this girl for several years even for a couple in a long distance relationship when they lived in different cities. So I think he doesnt have a lot of experience with girls and is just settling for her. She is a 6 thats thin and is in high paying profession so she also makes good money and is the same age as him. They are definately equals in the sexual marketplace NOW but in a couple years with the wall not far from hitting her and as he makes more money he will be far exceed her.

So I want to at least bring up the idea of sexual market place and how he is foolish for settling now. I also want to tell him to stack his cash until for the next decade and then marry a girl 10 years younger than him with a prenup protecting all his premarital assests.

I fear its useless to bring this up since he already brought up moving to the suburbs to start a family with her in a couple years once he has saved up mony so I think he is too far gone.

He described her as funny, quick witted, and keeps him on my toes. Which I just translated to mean ball buster.

Thanks RVF for any thoughts or suggestions.

I don't think it's a good idea to say anything. First of all, it's pointless -- it won't change a thing. He will get married just the same. Will only damage your friendship.

Second, perhaps he doesn't want to wait 10 years to start a family. People have different values. Besides, he says he's happy pre-marriage, which is already better than some marriages I know.

If you for some reason you do want to try something, I suggest ask him if he's ever been to say South East Asia. Just bring up the subject of adventurous travel and girls, and how girls are different there. Ask him if he's ever considered in the past taking a couple years off from his job and travelling around looking for adventure, drinking and hooking up with foreign girls. My guess is that this life doesn't even appeal to him.

[Foolsgo1d]

He is marrying a 6 who is on equal career pay as him? Can you say debt, more debt and stress? SHe will sink him like the Titanic within 5 years.

Unless they're swingers...

[bojangles]

I just say congratulations and leave it at that, it's difficult to stand by sometimes but it's best to leave them to make their own decisions and mistakes.

[Patriarch]

He's already well along this path. Even if you were his brother, or his best friend for the past 20 years, some men put on blinders and crash headlong into the marriage myth, and all you may end up doing by offering him alternatives is alienate yourself from him further. Of my 3 closest friends from high school, 1 is married to a fat wife with a fat baby and is now fat himself, one has been in a toxic LTR for the past 3 years where his girlfriend can literally snap her fingers to make him do something (I've seen it) and the other just broke up with a girl he had been dating for 4 years. I have tried to sway all three into a more independent and healthy way of viewing the world, but I'm only very close with the last one, and even he is on the fence of being one of those Japanese herbivore men or a ladykilling alpha male.

It's a delicate dance, and one that would probably take more out of you than is really worth it. As others have said, taking him to a place where fresh pussy grows in abundance like the ancient hanging gardens of Babylon may do the trick, but he may see through it and shut you out completely. Anyone who says a girl "keeps him on his toes" has already told you everything you need to know- he has no self esteem. Have you met the woman yet?

[Onto]

In a couple weeks I'm going to the wedding of a good friend. He's 53 though and marrying a girl 10 years younger. That said, I still want to stop him, but he knows how I feel about marriage in this country so it would be pointless.

Instead I'm just supportive of him. Who knows? Maybe it will work out for the best? Even if it doesn't, maybe all the suffering from his future divorce will put him on a path that leads to the person he will be with forever, or something else entirely.

Instinctively we want to protect our friends from mistakes, but growth occurs from both good and bad experiences.

[Oz.]

I believe sometimes it is best to step back from a situation and watch it all play it out without any interference. When is it better to do that? Well that's a choice you make for yourself.

[The Beast1]

Whats the chick like? Is she a bitch/careerist cunt?

If she's a friendly 6 that's kind and loyal than who gives a f*ck. Does she fit the stereotypes we blast here about?

[Cr33pin]

Old friend is getting married should I say anything? Yes tell him congratulations.

Nothing you say is gonna sway him from getting married if he has already decided to take the plunge. If you start telling him about banging other girls and how marriage sucks, hes still gonna get married. He will just stress out more about it.

You gotta worry about you.... I've found out no matter how much grand advice you give a friend, they have to want these things for themselves and be the type of men who do what they want. I think we men on Roosh are the minority when it comes to living life as a man.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

You can't help anyone who doesn't think they need help. If you take away a bottle from a drunk, he'll just find another bottle.

That said, I want to throw out something different here. What if...all the things you hate are things your friend loves? What if all the stuff we complain about on here is paradise to some other men?

Some guys crave the security of a home and wife and would prefer a safe 6 to a 9 they'd have to "game" for life. Some men would rather chance a divorce than live alone. And if they get divorced at 40, they might say "Well, at least I had 15 good years instead of spending that time in the barren wasteland of singlehood."

So, in the same way some people crave sauerkraut (me) but others want to puke when they smell it (everyone else, apparently), your friend might be happy with what repulses you. If he asks for help, then you'd want to send him this way. I'll have the sauerkraut ready.

[MrLemon]

Unbreakable rule: You can only give advice when people ask you for it.

[Caledonian]

In my experience nothing good ever comes of preaching to people who have a steadfast belief that they're doing the right thing. One of my friends got married at the end of last year to an American girl, and the tell-tale signs of her putting her foot down at an early stage are all there, clear as day to me. I can forsee quite starkly in my own mind where this one is going to end up, and he is not the kind of guy who will ever stamp his authority on a relationship either.

Another friend is getting married later this year, and I suspect he is unhappy but is just doing it to keep her happy after they have been together for so long. She is a good-hearted girl and means well, but low-SMV and nags constantly about money and various other things.

If I was to call either of them out without them expressing serious concerns, it wouldn't change a thing other than to jeopardise the friendship. Don't waste your time and energy trying to help people who don't want to be unplugged.

[MidniteSpecial]

I've tried to warn friends. They look at me as a hater, jealous and trying to sabotage their happiness. Rather than someone looking out for their best interest.

Don't tell them what to do just tell them your views on marriage with solid facts to back up your defense. Make him think he's choosing not to because of your views not that you're telling him not to do it.

[WestIndianArchie]

(05-26-2014 10:34 AM)MrLemon Wrote:  

Unbreakable rule: You can only give advice when people ask you for it.

And they only follow your advice if that's what they were going to do anyway.

WIA

[davyjose]

Out of curiosity, how iron clad is your average American prenup?

Here in Ireland they can be invalidated by a judge should he see fit, just wondering what's the situation like in the US, whether they guarantee 100% you hold onto your shit.

[soup]

If you do get around to talking to him about it, I'd tell him whatever it is you have to say and preface it as you'd feel bad in the future if things went south with him and his girl and you hadn't mentioned anything about this.

[KorbenDallas]

Depends on the state davyjose. If you're in the South, prenups can be pretty rock solid. California, New York, DC, forget about it.

Louisiana actually even went so far as to create a new type of marriage that is more favorable to men that disincentives divorce. Both parties have to agree to it though.

[davyjose]

(05-26-2014 11:50 AM)KorbenDallas Wrote:  

Depends on the state davyjose. If you're in the South, prenups can be pretty rock solid. California, New York, DC, forget about it.

Louisiana actually even went so far as to create a new type of marriage that is more favorable to men that disincentives divorce. Both parties have to agree to it though.

The bluer the state, the bluer a man's balls 'twould seem..

[Teedub]

I'm of the age where a lot of my friends are getting married. It's not worth the hassle to say anything. Let them do it, clap, be supportive...and then in a few years time, give a knowing nod. That's all you can do. Otherwise, you'll just come across as a dick.

[germanico]

"Congratulations, I wish you the best and have a happy marriage"

His life is not yours to save. How can you know? perhaps, for him, getting married is the best decision he will probably make in his life, even though we know hows its going to go down.

[Brodiaga]

If he is interested in Thailand or Asia in general, invite him to visit you in Thailand for a couple of weeks and show him around. Introduce him to a few girls and let him draw his own conclusions.

Otherwise, there's no point trying to change him. Marriage is not for everybody, but a lot of people seem happy being married.

My best friend got married for the 2nd time in his life. He is red pill, and I can pretty much speak my mind when I talk to him, but he just needs to live with a woman and feels that he has to marry officially because he is religious. I never tell him that he is mistaken, because I believe in his situation being married is actually better than being single.