[kerouac]

Let's say one day you have a child, however it came about, what kind of father would you strive to be?

Do you believe in active participation or passive?

Would you want to go to all of his games, some, or none?

Aside from teaching him about girls, what else would you want to teach him about?

What do you look for in the mother of your child (should it be non-accidental)?

[Glaucon]

Deadbeat

[spalex]

A fucking terrible father.

I'm not going to give my kid much sugar. I don't want some little shit running around and screaming because he is all hyperactive from drinking a can of coke.
He / she is going to grow up thinking that keeping his room clean and doing laundry + the dishes is of the utmost importance.
He / she is going to keep quiet! and bring me beers.

Basically if I am going to have a kid, its is going to be my slave.

[2Wycked]

EDIT: My new keyboard posted this comment while writing it. Fucking bizarre. I am updating my comment.

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was a good, thoughtful question.

The first two responses are not unexpected, as this sort of callous indifference to the fate of the world has become more ingrained on the forum. I see these sorts of comments on ROK everyday. Hateful, envious invective hurled at McQueen, drive-by fucksticks dismissing thoughtful posts by QC or Athlone or good book reviews by Roosh. We decry the state of the modern man, but do nothing to provide value to other males in our life. We literally are becoming like the mindless women we supposedly oppose.

Before considering that, one of the reasons that America and the Western world has issues is because of crappy fathers of all stripes: the deadbeats, the cruelly indifferent, the ones more interested in being friends instead of setting boundaries like a parent should or just the general, ineffective beta that is well represented in media.

If you get a woman pregnant and you think you will not be a good father, then persuade her to get an abortion. I find abortion utterly abhorrent, but if unprepared men and women were honest with themselves, we would have less crappy parents who got trapped by a child. If she doesn't want an abortion, then that is another issue entirely. Men should able to walk away and women should be forced to consider being a single mother with no child support from the father.

That being said, if you have kids -- especially a son -- you need to invest in him emotionally, psychologically and all that. You think men grow up to be betas, manginas and male feminists when they have a strong father who has always put his son's interest first before his? Real men don't allow their kids to go hungry or thirsty. If anybody goes to bed hungry or thirsty, it should be the father. I don't give a flying shit if your son is accused of raping 20 people and set half of Manhattan on fire, you are always on his side. That's how unconditional love works. Women don't visit their murderous sons in prison because they are bad people, but because a parent's love should transcend all else.

Still, the coldly torpid posture that the manosphere in general is embodying is appalling. What exactly our our values? We *all* know that traditional societies that value men's and women's contributions as necessarily distinct and equally valuable is the healthiest approach.

It really was around about a year ago a thread got started about some older women burned alive in a limousine. It was a horrific story, but nasty and heartless commentary from some members ensued. One of the reasons we get unfairly pegged as hating women is simply that the measured indifference many of us practice becomes ingrained habit.

I get it, a late narcissistic society results in heterosexuality devolving into a sick, sexual game of chicken, where both parties have to carefully measure each other's interest in the other, so as not to be the more interested party. This foggy quagmire simply overlays the personal terror and dread of true emotions and feelings, as we have shaky identities as a result of poor parenting, which necessarily includes fatherhood.

If you honestly believe you will be a shit father, I can appreciate that honesty. Many men delude themselves that they know what sorts of men they will become, only to look in the mirror at 50 and not recognize the pathetic avalanche of flesh they have become. Yet, there is nothing to be proud of here. We should want to become better men and if we are a father, that means our binding, eternal bondage to our sons and daughters.

There is no greater accomplishment than seeing your own children, getting married and doing right in this world. There can be no greater way to ensure a quality night of sleep knowing that if your child ever encounters the uglier shades of life -- God forbid! -- that you know they can weather it safely because they can draw on happy memories of their youth.

Recently, a friend of my family was escorted into his son's apartment, his son's blood splattered all over his bedroom wall. He took his own life with a Smith & Wesson. In his final, gasping moments of that father's life, you think he thinks it was cool he blew off his son's ball game to put in a few more hours at work? You think he thinks fondly of all that time he didn't spend with his son? My father looked me right in the eye and told me you can't possibly know what that feels like as a parent. I believed him.

Sure, suicide is an extreme example, I completely grant you that. However, it highlights the incredibly duty we have as men to our sons and daughters. Sexual revolutions are usually unwise and devaluing sex into purely an act for sexual pleasure is inappropriate. There is a reason any healthy society has restrictions on indiscriminate acts of sexual congress, any society that believes in tomorrow recognizes that one man + one woman committing to each other for eternity is the best. It's the best way to ensure you don't find your kid addicted to drugs, clinically depressed or floating in the bathtub after swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills.

Our social and cultural environment puts high bars on our psychological health and the ability to curate quality relationships with women. However, we should aspire to be more than what our father's generation was.

[Glaucon]

(05-02-2014 02:36 AM)2Wycked Wrote:  

The first two responses are not unexpected, as this sort of callous indifference to the fate of the world has become more ingrained on the forum.

I think it is better to acknowledge the truth than lie to ourselves.

I know I would be a horrible dad, so I do everything in my power to avoid it. My comment was not intended to be funny, or smartass, or cool, just the honest truth. If a woman would get pregnant with my child, I would bail out and disappear. I am not proud about it, but I am not going to deny my nature.

But I think you can provide value in the world other than being a good father.

[KC4]

Funny this thread came up. My sister just told me if she were to have kids and something would happen to her, she let me have custody of her children . I honestly think having a kid Is the greatest thing you could achieve in your life. I do think I would make a good father but I am far from ready to be one.

[player]

Assuming I can get around the outrageous laws in the West*...

I would be a patriarchal, traditional father, and bring up my children with the natural gender roles. I will set boundaries and provide masculine leadership and discipline for my pets, children and wife. I will be a high-earning provider while the wife will stay home to nurture and care for the family.

Sons will be taught the masculine virtues and encouraged to excel in sport. They will be taught red pill truths about the world and women from around 12-13, and I intend for them to turn into alpha business leaders. Showing courage, strength, honor or mastery will be rewarded.

Daughters will be taught the feminine virtues by their mother, and will help her with the cooking, cleaning and nurturing younger siblings. She will be taught that her main purpose in life is finding a worthy husband, submitting to him and bearing lots of children. I will do all I can to keep them chaste for their husbands and away from all of you.

I would hope to somehow shield my children from the disgusting influence of the media, TV and education system that will try to turn my sons into emasculated pussies and my daughters into masculinized sluts. I may homeschool them but this leads to problems in itself: how to give boys enough social practice, and how to find worthy husbands for the daughters?

Modern culture is truly degenerate, so I may turn to religion to help. I don't believe in God but clearly Mormons and Muslims are better at teaching traditional gender roles than this toxic culture.

* I may have a family in a different country to my money and rent the house, so if the wife decides to divorce she gets nothing. I will use plenty of dread game to keep her in check. If she is a good, faithful, thin, sex-providing wife who cooks and cleans for the family she has nothing to worry about - I will provide for her and the family for life (of course I may have various mistresses who I see on business trips ).

[caracal]

(05-02-2014 02:54 AM)Glaucon Wrote:  

(05-02-2014 02:36 AM)2Wycked Wrote:  

The first two responses are not unexpected, as this sort of callous indifference to the fate of the world has become more ingrained on the forum.

I think it is better to acknowledge the truth than lie to ourselves.

I know I would be a horrible dad, so I do everything in my power to avoid it. My comment was not intended to be funny, or smartass, or cool, just the honest truth. If a woman would get pregnant with my child, I would bail out and disappear. I am not proud about it, but I am not going to deny my nature.

But I think you can provide value in the world other than being a good father.

Simple: get a vasectomy then. You will no longer have to worry about this happening (not having a dig at you, it's always better to be honest with yourself)

Strangely enough, I became a father to a son recently. I was pissed off about it when I first learnt I was going to become one. I ranted and raved. But then I sat down and thought about it. That kid will have no fucking better father than me. He smiles and laughs at me. He reaches out towards me for hugs. You see him trying to crawl and he puts all his effort into it. There is no 'can't' in his vocabulary or 'It's too hard' or 'Maybe tomorrow' - this is a lesson he reminded me about despite not being one year old yet.

I will teach him about women, love, lust, the world and being a man. He will get discipline when he needs it. And if anyone tries to harm him they will end up a quivering mass of flesh and gore after I'm done with them. I love my Dad but he was very beta - to the point where it still cuts me - and I want my son to experience that same love, but with some hardness thrown into the mix to better prepare him when he strikes out on his own.

[Jukes]

The same way I am with my siblings. Fun and serious when necessary. Answer all questions and give them advice.

[eradicator]

I'd be strict as hell with them and give them lots and lots of chores from a very young age.

[lowside]

the more important question is:

are you going to give the kid a blue pill upbringing like your family/friends/acquintances expect of you? Or are you going to show the kid the world as it is....also regarding the opposite sex?

That's where i'm at right now.

[eradicator]

(05-02-2014 07:00 AM)lowside Wrote:  

the more important question is:

are you going to give the kid a blue pill upbringing like your family/friends/acquintances expect of you? Or are you going to show the kid the world as it is....also regarding the opposite sex?

That's where i'm at right now.

Oh there is no question you have to set a good example and continue to be masculine with the child's mother. That is the best way to 'teach' them how to treat women. They learn that upbringing at home.

[General Mayhem]

I would have fun with it. The world needs more red pill dads.

[cmrocks]

I can't wait to be a father. I will say though, I've only started to feel this way in the last year or so. I'll be 28 this year, my fiancee will be 25 and we're hoping to start having kids within the next 3 years.

As for the type of father that I'll likely be. All I can say is that I hope I'm a lot like my father was. My Dad was a very hands on, active father when we were little kids, he would play with us, tell us stupid stories etc. As we got older, he gradually became more of an advisor to us. As little kids, we were given fairly basic chores to do and not much beyond that. When we hit our early teens, summers became about working and earning our own keep. I had my first summer job when I was 13. My father is a very alpha type personality but in his own way. He's incredibly likeable, an extremely hard worker and a natural leader but he's very laid back and quiet. The strong, silent type I guess. Because of that, he didn't teach my brother and I much about women at all.

I will strive to be like that. I want to be active in my kids lives when they are little. I want to teach them how to read, how to do math, how the world works etc. I don't want to get involved in their social lives and have to associate with all of their friends parents. I also don't want to be present at all of their sports games. They should learn to feel a sense of accomplishment on their own and not seek validation through my approval. That home run should feel just as good whether or not I was there to witness it.

Growing up, it was just my brother and I, no sisters. If I have a daughter, I will really need to think about how to properly raise her. I would obviously encourage her to pursue intellectual activities as well as get involved with sports; stuff to keep her out of trouble. I think I would have to repeatedly stress the importance of valuing herself. My fiancee, for example, didn't sleep with me for the first six weeks of our relationship and made me show her a negative STD test until we started having sex. That's a woman who values herself. I would hope my daughter grows up with the same values as that.

[Foolsgo1d]

The way I can handle my niece and nephew leaves me with little doubt I'd be a decent father. I know what makes kids tick and TBH they are not hard to manage, you will find more parents not liking the freedom to do anything they want rather than the actual child.

If the kid is a spoilt little runt then its on you, they're a mirror image of you and you deserve every problem they give you.

I dont believe in ADHD, only bad behaviour and energy levels which can be controlled without the use of drugs.

If the mother isn't a piece of shit then you should be on a good path.

[Walderschmidt]

Right now, I think I'd be a terrible father.

But when I get my shit together and find a woman worthy of being a mother of my children, I think I'd be a good father.

I'd want to be involved in the lives of my children as much as I can manage; especially in today's Zeitgeist.

Wald

[soup]

I could be wrong, but from what I understand, trying to speculate on parenting from the perspective of someone who hasn't or isn't raising a kid is a futile effort.

[speakeasy]

Some of you are already dad's and don't yet know it.

[DarkTriad]

(05-02-2014 11:23 AM)soup Wrote:  

I could be wrong, but from what I understand, trying to speculate on parenting from the perspective of someone who hasn't or isn't raising a kid is a futile effort.

THIS. Way harder than people realize.

[Mike Oxlong]

My father wanted little to do with me when I was young (pre teenage years) and I was almost entirely cared for by my mother. She is a wonderful woman and taught me right from wrong, had me reading at a young age and gave me the intelligence to excel in academic endeavours, however this predominantly matriarchal youth led to me being a severe beta when it came to women my most recent ex-girlfriend being the main case in point. So I want to have a more dominant role in the bringing up of my child, if it is indeed a boy.

As stated earlier my father had little to do with my main growing up period, only being there for me in my physical endeavours mainly but was never my first choice to confide in. As I progressed into my teen years and got over the bratty childish mindset and became more self-aware we got closer. The lack of his presence in my childhood led to my focus on football/soccer increasing exponentially in an attempt to gain his approval and after a rapid increase in ability he began to see me more as an equal, he started telling me stories of his past. My dad is by far my best friend, but that's all I can ever see him as. I had very little male influence on me as a child and I suffered for it throughout high school, bearing this in mind I hope to be there for him to teach him; how to deal with bullies, how to stand up for yourself and the importance of placing your own happiness before anyone else's, ESPECIALLY women.

I firmly believe I will be a red pill dad and help to bring in a new age of alpha males, I just hope the tyranny of the feminist movement collapses before then.

[Sailor]

If "accidental" i'd take being a deadbeat to a new level.

If not,i guess i'd worry more about a daughter than about a son (would go to all ballet presentations,would not go to football games) and would let their mother to take care of them
Mother would have to be healthy,educated,hopefully at least upper middle class,pleasant,no need to be a 9.7,a dolled up 6 could be enough

[MrLemon]

I'm a dad. I love it, but, I waited a lllooong time and did it on MY terms. I had at least 8 girlfriends who were angling to be the wifey over 15 years but I completely blew them off and ignored every one of their little bullshit complaints.

When I finally decided to marry, I decided the type of woman I wanted to be the mother of my children and my mate for life, the woman I wanted to grow old with. I then proceeded to find and target those types of women. Found a women I wanted surprisingly fast. She and I fell deeply in love, and never looked back. Amazing how easy it is when you make your decisions firmly, on your own timing, the universe opens up and delivers it to you.

Sorry this is so wordy and repeating my prior posts, but the point is, the way I chose my wife COMPLETELY DICTATED the way I am as a dad. Re-read that first paragraph and then think what kind of dad your choice of wife will create in you.

As a man, you can be a crappy dad or you can be the dad that sires a legacy that your grandchildren and great grandchildren will remember long after you're gone. It's all controlled by how you choose the woman who will partner with you, and how she in turn chooses you.

Great Patriarchy at it's best is vastly superior to every other form of society. But true Patriarchy isn't about "the government" or "society", true Patriarchy starts with the families that individual men build unto themselves. Every man who creates a powerful family unit creates structure which interlocks with others, to build a powerful and unbreakable society of wealth, plenty, and sanity.

Women are sluts for marriage, just like men are sluts for casual sex. Women's judgement, unchecked by the man, is useless in questions of marriage... they usually grab whoever happens to be in their bed at any given moment, ignoring any real thought or consideration in the matter. Women are brilliant in the moment but usually crap in the long term.

So.

Since I picked the right woman, and on my terms, I have a fantastic marriage, and fantastic kids. They are the universe to me. I'd die for them without hesitation and in my last seconds of life consider it a fine end. I take them camping and kayaking. I chase them around the backyard. I work like a dog to put a roof over their heads. I fight and claw every day to keep myself healthy and fit so I can continue to protect them with my strength. Some day soon I'll be old and bowed and I'll let them surge ahead of me (it's already happening), I'll fall back and watch them with joy and the peace that only a parent can feel.

[polar]

It's thoughtful posts like MrLemon's and 2Wycked's which make me love this little anonymous community and the manosphere.

As someone in his early 20s, I'm focused on the quest to be the best man I can be at 30, 35, etc. Without the manosphere I'd be a manboob. Instead, I've found goals and purpose.

Similarly, my views on family have gone from "it's what you're supposed to do" to "hell no" to now realizing that it's about leaving a legacy.

Don't have kids to create mini-me's or hedge your retirement.

Have kids to establish a clan. Return the concept of "family" back to its original traditions. It's mutual support and loyalty that turns a man's home into a castle. Create an organization for which you will be remembered.

This makes me want to do some research on the Rothschilds. A family line that long and distinguished is nothing but remarkable.

[kaotic]

What are these things called "kids" ?

[Kingsley Davis]

I'm going out on a limb and say that every man posting on RVF would make/are great patriarchs.