[Beyond Borders]

Not all of us are against the idea of long-term girlfriends here.

What do you look for in a woman that makes her worth dating for you?

Personally, whenever I consider looking for a long-term, I screen for women who don't drink. It sure makes it trickier to get her in bed in the first place, but at the end of the day, people who drink make bad decisions.

Maybe not always. Maybe not often. But alcohol inevitably leads to slutty behavior. I'm not hating on sluts - I just prefer not to date them. Not to mention that if a girl can resist the huge social temptation of drinking, it speaks volumes about her general character.

Note that not drinking isn't a foolproof slut screen, but it does get you a good deal of the way there.

Smoking is a definite no-no. I might date a girl who drinks socially, at least on a casual basis, but no fucking way am I dating a smoker. I have in the past and it never stopped being a turn-off for me.

I also highly value a beautiful face. She doesn't have to have the most banging body in the world (she does have to at least be slender), but I'm not going to walk around with some busted-face chick on my arm.

No babies; no exceptions. And I definitely start losing interest if I hear a mention of not really knowing how to cook.

I've broken all these rules in the past, but the older I get, the more important they are for me.

[bike0369]

Haha, almost same rules. No smoking, moderate to no drinking, beautiful face, decent to good body (and if she is fat, or her mother is fat, it's straight no for me), should know how to cook or be willing to learn - I cook rather well. Plus she must know how to keep her stuff clean, and that includes her/my home.

Here is to miracle to find such chicks!

[Beyond Borders]

^ They are fortunately all over the place out here.

The hard part is picking just one!

[bike0369]

I guess it is just my luck, but most such chicks I know are taken; or are above 35

So here is to that changing!

[Biologist]

Beyond Borders, my rules are also very similar to yours.

- Must have a very beautiful face. I am very picky about this.
- She doesn't need to have a perfect 10 body, but she needs to be slim. If she is not slim, I will not consider her as relationship material.
- She needs to be shorter than me, but not too short.
- No body alterations (breast implants, tattoos, piercings other than simple ear piercings).
- Must be university educated, but must not be more highly educated than I am.
- Must have similar artistic interests as me.
- Strictly no smoking or drugs.
- Casual drinking is fine, and in fact, it's fun to have someone to drink with sometimes.
- Strictly no children.
- Knowing how to cook will give her a huge advantage.

[samsamsam]

I think what you guys have put down is solid.

- I'd like to add parents are together.
- Comes from a middle class family
- What are her friends like?
- Knows when to shut up

For LTR I am looking for mental stability (as much as a woman can have that is), makes good decisions and doesn't have shitty influences around her.

[Vicious]

Someone who got rid of their cat when I came along.

[Beyond Borders]

(04-28-2014 05:59 AM)bike0369 Wrote:  

should know how to cook or be willing to learn - I cook rather well.

Yeah, I love to cook as well and when I've lived with girlfriends, I often did the most of the cooking and they did all the cleaning. I would usually rather make my own shit. Unless I was busy or they wanted to treat me.

For me, the cooking is very much a screening device to determine whether she embraces traditional gender roles.

My perception is that women who don't know how to cook are spoiled brats, lazy, or have some kind of hang-up about what is traditionally seen as woman's work.

I mean, how the fuck do you make it to adulthood never learning to cook? It's seriously beyond me and it blows my mind any time I hear that come out of someone's mouth.

I also really enjoy good food, wine, dining out, etc - cooking skills are usually a good sign that someone else would vibe with that scene.

[azulsombra]

For me dating material females must be:

-under 30 when we meet (im under 30)
-great sunny disposition
-willing to cook for me at least once a week on request
-no kids
-minimal to no tattoos
-long hair
-cute face, doesnt have to be flawless
-either great tits or great ass..with the ass preferable
-no issues giving me oral on demand or sex in general
-has no issues paying her own way

If they dont meet these requirements they are pump and dump material.

[pitt]

-The sex must be damn good. I need to love her ass, big booty is a must, no big booty, no serious dating.

- She needs to know how to cook good and be willing to cook for me most of the time.

- She needs to dress decent, I like women with some fashion sense. I don't like to seriously date girls who can't dress up, if she is just a bang, I don't really care.

- If she loves to suck dick is a plus but if she has that perfect booty then I let that be an exception.

- If she has a pretty face great, if she doesn't, fuck it. As long as she is not ugly I am good.

[WestIndianArchie]

4 months in, if we're snowed in, the cable's out, I've already busted a nut -

Do I want to talk to her?
Does she want to talk to me?
What do we to talk about?

I wouldn't know any of this going in, just have high hopes.
And by the 4 months mark, I'm usually past the "So we're this thing going"

That's when the panic sets in. See if it gets better (it often does), or cut your losses if you don't think she's compelling enough.

WIA

[a358752]

(04-28-2014 05:22 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Not all of us are against the idea of long-term girlfriends here.

What do you look for in a woman that makes her worth dating for you?

Personally, whenever I consider looking for a long-term, I screen for women who don't drink. It sure makes it trickier to get her in bed in the first place, but at the end of the day, people who drink make bad decisions.

Maybe not always. Maybe not often. But alcohol inevitably leads to slutty behavior. I'm not hating on sluts - I just prefer not to date them. Not to mention that if a girl can resist the huge social temptation of drinking, it speaks volumes about her general character.

Note that not drinking isn't a foolproof slut screen, but it does get you a good deal of the way there.

I don't really agree here, and i dated a lot of girls lately for this observation. Why do you drink? You want to have a good time and be more relaxed- it really isn't a social thing. A girl who does not touch alcohol seems suspicious to me (is she hiding anything?). A little liqueur doesn't hurt anybody and comes along with fun.

So basically, you are looking for boring women.

[kerouac]

The opposite of my mother.

[Beyond Borders]

(04-29-2014 12:53 AM)a358752 Wrote:  

(04-28-2014 05:22 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Not all of us are against the idea of long-term girlfriends here.

What do you look for in a woman that makes her worth dating for you?

Personally, whenever I consider looking for a long-term, I screen for women who don't drink. It sure makes it trickier to get her in bed in the first place, but at the end of the day, people who drink make bad decisions.

Maybe not always. Maybe not often. But alcohol inevitably leads to slutty behavior. I'm not hating on sluts - I just prefer not to date them. Not to mention that if a girl can resist the huge social temptation of drinking, it speaks volumes about her general character.

Note that not drinking isn't a foolproof slut screen, but it does get you a good deal of the way there.

I don't really agree here, and i dated a lot of girls lately for this observation. Why do you drink? You want to have a good time and be more relaxed- it really isn't a social thing. A girl who does not touch alcohol seems suspicious to me (is she hiding anything?). A little liqueur doesn't hurt anybody and comes along with fun.

So basically, you are looking for boring women.

I'll be sure to keep your preferences in mind when considering what I want in a woman.

For the non-trolls reading, when it comes to long-term scenarios, I'm not looking for a party buddy in a woman. That's what your guy buddies are for, and I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. I'm looking for someone dependable who I can count on if we ever take it to the next level. Someone who stabilizes my wild nature.

There are a lot more interesting things to do with women than drink. Sure, that can be fun too, but I can do that with any floozy down at that local watering hole - why buy the cow, as they say? If a woman is worth dating, she better damn well have something different, unique, and more valuable to offer. Either that or she's just going to be a casual and nothing more.

I'll refer to Victor Pride for more insight on this subject. I think he's got it well figured out:

http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/11/29/...shy-girls/

http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/01/21/...ight-wife/

[LaserBear]

I require all three, you can only pick two.
This is why I don't date.

[Beyond Borders]

^ I'm good with just the bottom two.

[cocoballs]

A 9.5 from a good family who doesn't drink and has a low notch count. A unicorn basically.

[Yeti]

A girl who slows the fuck down to focus on the important things in life.

Robert Greene wrote in The Art of Seduction something like (I'm paraphasing) it's the most anti-seductive thing in the world to talk about work. I'd say that's spot on. I don't give a fuck about a bitch's job, except to comfort her when she's feeling down about something that happened - but I don't want to hear about her strategy for improving office efficiency. What I do want to hear about is where we're heading on Saturday, how her brother's doing, and how she's planning to go for a run tomorrow morning.

[spalex]

- Personal improvement MUST be a hobby of hers.
I don't want to hear "oh, I have put on 2 kilos. So do you still want to get beer and pizza and ice cream later?"

- Have herself set up well enough so I can sponge off her if need be ie. have her own apartment and car + full time job.

- She has to be a beer drinker and know her beers. I don't want "Oh I brought you back a sixpack from the shop, I know you like Belgian beers!" and then I turn around to see a sixpack of San Miguel 0,0 alcohol free beer.

- She has to know when to fuck off. Like when I'm watching the football / rugby. I don't want her around talking to me and I don't want to have to make a big deal about it every Saturday.

Plus all the other shit like being hot and being able to fuck like a champ etc etc

[big poppa]

[delete]

[Beyond Borders]

(04-29-2014 05:47 AM)big poppa Wrote:  

I've been dating this girl for a while now, virgin until I was with her.. Attractive, not an amazing body but very very bangable. Very rarely drinks, doesn't smoke, her friends are all 'good girls', none of them have been with more than 1 partner at 21-22 years old. She cooks, her parents are together, she respects her father, etc. etc.

Only thing is that I'm 22, and I don't how much longer I can continue leading her on because I will not be marrying for at least 10-15 years.

Am I going to regret letting her go? Are these girls easy to find? :

As far as whether they're easy to find, where do you live?

I will say that yes, part of you will probably regret letting her go, at least sometimes.

But part of you will regret staying with her if you do too.

It's just the nature of a man.

22 is young and you've got your whole life ahead of you. You're also the same age, so that means she'll age just as fast as you will, which isn't really ideal from a man's perspective. It does suck to string them along for a long time when you're not as serious as they are too.

You could try being honest with her about the situation, but if she loves you, she'll find a way to rationalize sticking it out anyways. That's how women often work - their emotions make the decision and then they hamster it. And then she'll still blame you later when her attempts to change your mind over the years don't work.

So if you want to move on, you'll probably have to take full responsibility of cutting the cord yourself.

I guess it just depends on your goals in life. I'm sure some guys will pop in here and presume to have the answers you need, but at the end of the day, the solution for this particular scenario is something you can only decide for yourself.

[spalex]

^^

There should be a whole thread on Is she dating material.

Guys listing their girlfriend / prospect / casual bang and we tell them if its worth sticking it out.
But I don't know if people are going to want to share that much info about themselves only to have strangers judge them

[Sargon of Akkad]

Looks:
- Pretty face, nice body (long sexy legs, nice waist and back).
- Has to be attractive without makeup: I hate waking up to a different woman than the one I went to bed with.
- Has to take good care of her appearance. Good style and grooming, but not high-maintenance.
- Good combination of cute and sexy.
- I'm most physically attracted to Asians, but this is not a must.
- long, naturally colored hair is also preferred.

Other:
- Should have experience living and traveling abroad as well as an interest in cultures/countries other than her own.
- Should have at the very least basic knowledge of history and the world outside her home country, none of this "Oh, do they also have four seasons in Foreignland?"-nonsense.
- Would prefer university education, but not too academic.
- Similar interests and socio-political views to mine, but not completely identical.
- Should be both warm (caring/affectionate, generally fun to be around) and level-headed
- Should be capable of critical thought
- moderate, social drinking
- Should smell nice and have smooth, soft skin.

Sex:
- Tight, nice-smelling, well lubricated vagina: I like girls who are already soaking wet the moment I put my finger down there.
- Should be about equally as horny as I am; sex about once a day is good.
- Should be good at giving head
- Should be into trying slightly kinky shit.

NOT preferred:
- tattoos, excessive piercings or body modifications,
- strong Westernization, particularly Americanization (not as much of a deal for me as for others, but still annoying, nonetheless).
- strong attrachment to a particular subculture e.g. hip-hop.
- Too many previous partners (no exact number, the upper limit will depend on other factors).

Dealbreakers:
- NO batshit insane ideologies (nationalism, extreme religious conservatism, racism, homophobia, conspiracy theories, radical feminism, etc.)
- No, absolutely NO New-Age beliefs (any mention of Mediums, Quantum Mysticism, "the Secret", crystals or GOD help you, Deepak Chopra, and I'm outta here).
- NO addictions (drugs/alcohol, gambling, etc.)
- NO baffling ignorance or stupidity
- NO fatties or anorexics
- NO moodiness, temper-tantrums, psycho-bitchiness, frequent crying fits, mind games, or anything similar; anything resembling a drama-queen is unacceptable
- NO other random things most of us would turn down a girl for (STDs, amputated limbs, mental illness, etc).

[big poppa]

[delete]

[Beyond Borders]

^ Just be sure to pm me her phone number after you break it off. Got Oz on the travel radar.

haha Just fucking with you, Man.

I think you inherently have already figured out what you need to do if you're struggling to find women of this caliber again when you're ready...head to Asia. You're not too far away either.

Best of luck to you.