[kerouac]

I'd imagine mine are pretty tame for what members of this forum have probably experienced, but for me:

Lots of jacuzzi sex, beach sex, balcony sex, alley sex, sex with a roommate in the same room sex, rooftop sex, sex sex sex, which leads me to...

one time i was banging a chick on the rooftop and after i was done I threw my condom out onto the street, thinking it would be far far away from my building's door. Next day, me and a few friends walk back to my building to see my used condom right by the doorstep. My friend was like "there's a used condom by the door." I held back the laughter, but I knew deep down inside where that dirty used condom came from.

There are probably more stories locked away in my memory, but for now this should get some good stories started.

What are your crazy sex stories?

[kinjutsu]

Met a girl off pof. Went for coffee at the downtown mall. I pretended try on clothes. After the 2nd shirt i ask her opinion then pull her in for the kiss. The i pull her inside the fitting room and fuck her.

[LaserBear]

Broke into a resort's outdoor hot tub in winter (so... jumped a fence) with girl, around 1:30AM I'm fucking her, bent over the side of the hot tub (not standard tub... custom, rustic, rock hot tub the size of a small pool)... and then there is a spot light on us.

Security had pulled up without us noticing... and spotlighted us from the car.

It lagged on us for a bit, then swung past, then slowly swung back over us... prison yard sweep style.

They were giving us enough time to redress and take off running between sweeps... so we did.

And then went home and finished.

Miss that girl, she always used to call me when she got in fights with her boyfriend... like that night.

[Monty Brown]

• I met some friends at Chilis. It was night time.
• A girl I had banged previously was there. I wasn't happy about that. I never wanted to see her again after what happened the last weekend..
• We drank a bunch of margaritas and long islands.
• My friend, the girl, and myself drove to my friends house.
• We drank some more.
• Then we put on a movie. I don't remember what we watched.
• Anyways, me and her were snuggled up next to each other under a large blanket. My friend was sitting right next to us.
• When out of nowhere, she started fingering my asshole. It felt moist.
  

The end

[spalex]

I once fucked a girl on the Jewish Holocaust memorial in Berlin.

... It sounds bad if you haven't actually seen the memorial.

If you are still disgusted, just google image search it, you'll understand.

[LaserBear]

Oh shit... another fun one.

Back in highschool.

Previous weekend me and a buddy had railed a lot of assorted powders and met some fun new buddies to party with as a result.


The next weekend me and one of them proceeded to slam a handle of Captain in 20 minutes going mono a mono shot after shot.

We finish it... and then I'm tag teaming a girl with one of his friends, Eiffel tower style, while another guy in the corner was rolling around on the ground laughing his ass off... butt ass naked.

Apparently they had convinced blackout me to drive for 30 minutes both ways to pick up some chick from a party... and I made friends with that whole party while taking their girl... then proceeded to come home and we ran a train on her (5 of us I think).

I remember a brief bit of the tag team and walking around naked... and didn't really know for sure about it for a week.

Everyone had to work the next day, and we all got up early and left as a result.
Expect for the girl... who apparently woke up under a bed and had to search the house for a letter to figure out the address to text a friend to come get her.

Getting to go through my list to remember these... great thread Kerouac.

[Sourcecode]

Im sitting around at a train station in Germany when a guy walks ups to. Probably in mid early thirties. You can tell he's got some muscle on him..but he isnt a brawler type.
Im sitting alone and walks up an says something along the lines of. " My girlfriend/wife thinks youre extremely cute..What do you think about hanging out with us some time"
Of course this is in German..And I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly..but sure enough..thats what he said.

His girl was this 8-9 with serial killer eyes. She looked like she was reading my mind or burning through me with her eyes.
All at same time she had an insatiable hungry look to her...as if she planned to ravage me right there.

At first I thought I was about to be pranked...or kidnapped..or killed.
At first I turned down their offer to hang out...But they continued to insist...They lived in a city about an hour away.. and wanted to get a drink at a bar, hang out..get to know me..ect.
The woman never said a word..the man talked the whole time.
In my head I kepts saying..." I watched hostel...Im not falling for this"
I wasn't mean to the couple..I was actually laughing the whole time because I couldnt believe what was happening..
Eventually I took the guys number..and they left.


Days later when the weekend hit..Plans went odd and I ended up in the city the couple was from with a couple friends of mine.
After a couple drinks..I told them the weird story.. and all of them looked at me like I was a child.
They all said" This is Germany..not Albania..You should call her"

The mix of peer pressure and fuck it juice in me..convinced me to call them.

Dude picks up..says..he will come pick me up in town.
High fives go around the area..I grab my little backpack just in case and we keep drinking.
The germans tell me..if it goes bad..call an emergency number..toss my unbreakable phone somewhere and run.
Fuck it juice still had me hyped though.

bought 20 minutes later..Dude rolls up to the agreed bus stop in a BMW M3 with the dual cluth..ect ect.
I figured..these freaks must have some money.
The dude was a good talker...There was only a brief moment that I felt odd getting into a strangers car..But the guy was pretty chill. He claimed to be a sort of mechanic/car hobbist.
I kinda got scared during the ride..as we started driving further and further out of the bulk of the city.

Finally we arrive at a big Mcmansion looking house..which is pretty rare in Germany.
He said his wife is fresh inside waiting...
I figured we were gonna have a couple drinks..talk..ect ect...but no..they skipped straight to the point.
After navigating the maze of a house to the couples home theatre area.
I come in and the guys wife is in the middle of the room on a mattress wearing nothing but a set of high heels, a corset and a blindfold.

He looks at me..and says..Do whatever you want with her and walks back into the house.

Slightly drunk me made a couple lighting decisions..
back out? look like a pussy.
Drop my pants? Get laid
But what if it was a trap..and dude comes back to kill me..Ill be hears pants around my ankles and no weapon

I said fuck it..pulled out my phone..snapped a quick picture to send to my boys... dropped the drawers, walked over and tapped my dick on her face.
The fuckfest commenced and lasted for a good 10 minutes...Slobbery blindfolded sex juices going everywhere.
*yes...I went in raw

All of a sudden..dude walks in..with a camera!
An Im only slightly confused...He said he only wants to record and take pictures..he doesnt wanna join.

More split decisions were made..and I said.
Hey..there is a camera in my backpack...If you are gonna take pictures..use my camera also(Cause no one will ever believe this)
Chick is a major free..blindfolded...she pulls out all the stops...IT took everything in my power not to bust to quick.
Eventually i let go and blasted all over her...she licked herself off..grabbed me and put me back in her for more.

I was dead tired and sore by the end...Put my clothes back on..The wife walked off the the bathroom to clean herself up..The dude said..he would drop me off at the train station.
So i hopped in the car.. and we went off. He laughed at me saying it was great to watch..but he thinks she was still unsatified.. he said something along the lines of " now i will have to try to finish her off tonight"
We laughed...he dropped me off at some rickety ass train stations..where i ended up waiting almost an hour for a night train to bring me back to the city.
I probably got back to the city i was staying in on the last train...Walked in the bed and breakfast I was staying at..and passed out.

I saw the couple a couple more times.. and more interesting stories stem from it..But this was years ago...and i still keep in touch with the wife..She still sends me pictures waiting for me to come back to give her another ravishing.

Ill be back in Germany in a couple months..

[Screwston]

Fucked a girl up the ass and watched her lick some shit off my dick.

[Sombro]

This was so crazy I had to draw a picture of it.

   

(btw, it really was called Paradise Blvd. but it was in a dumpy industrial section of town.)

[eradicator]

I was in downtown toronto with a girlfriend and we were both really horny we went into an alley and she blew me and we got caught by some kids playing baseball(looked like 12 to 14 years old) and had to stop.

Pretty tame compared to most of you I guess.

[Screwston]

Met a girl on the bus and fucked her a few hours later in a library restroom stall.

[Earth]

Fucked a girl on the second date in the mall parking lot in broad day light while mall security was driving around in my backseat. It was around 1 or 2 p.m.

[baristabanger]

My jeep's top is off, its summer '13
Go to meet Badoo girl at a small café
Suggest we go to park for a walk
Do my little vodka/gatorade bit
Make out a little
She gets nervous, people are watching
take her to jeep, which is parked near running trail
make out a little more
i say "scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you?"
She says "I dont know... a 7?"
I say "today it's a 10, get in the back"
Top off, no windows, banging her out as people on bikes and runners are passing by within 20 ft

Still a good fuck buddy to this day.

[Earth]

For those of you who had sex in public, care to share how you pulled it off? Both in managing to get the girl to do it and logistically, like, how you managed the dangers of getting caught since that is illegal?

[spalex]

(04-08-2014 02:12 AM)Earth Wrote:  

For those of you who had sex in public, care to share how you pulled it off? Both in managing to get the girl to do it and logistically, like, how you managed the dangers of getting caught since that is illegal?

You could ask 100 people this, and they would all give you the same answer.

Alcohol and a slut.

[Espresso]

(04-07-2014 03:59 PM)Sourcecode Wrote:  

In my head I kepts saying..." I watched hostel...Im not falling for this"

hahaha

Good story dude!

[Espresso]

I was staying at a hostel in London (UK) a couple years back. Was in a 4 bed dorm. Met a Finnish girl at the hostel bar. Ended up alone with her, made out. Started to lead her upstairs to where all the rooms were.

Her: I'm not going to your room.
Me: I'm not taking you to my room.

And I wasn't. I knew a tiny dorm room with 2 bunk beds next to each other was a bad logistical move. I was on the top bunk too. So I lead her up to a bathroom.

Her: are you kidding me?
Me: no no trust me, I just want a bit of privacy.

Pull her into the bathroom, we're making out hard, unfortunately there was no lock on the door so she starts getting all paranoid someone would come in.

Her: Let’s go to your room. But I'll just sleep in your room.

Heard that one before... Take her to my room. It's dark, the other 3 people in the room are all asleep in their beds. We climb up onto my upper bunk. I'm lying on top of her.
Make out make out, fingerbang fingerbang.

At this point the Spanish girl who was sleeping in the bed beneath us gets out of bed, stands up and looks me right in the eye from about a foot away, she was exactly eye level with me lying down, and is all like JABA JABA JABA in Spanish, all loud and angry. Not sure what she was upset about, I don’t speak Spanish see. But what an inconsiderate broad! Here's me, trying hard to get my hostel dorm notch, and she has the audacity to rise OUT OF THE SHADOWS to cockblock.

At this point I get a genius idea. I leave my girl in the bed and go downstairs to reception in my boxer shorts. It’s all bright with all the lights and I may or may not have a bit of a pre-cum stain on my boxers and possibly still nursing a chubby. Ask the receptionist girl working there if I can get a different room.

Receptionist: What’s wrong with your room?
Me: it’s kind of loud.

She gives me a key to an unoccupied dorm room. Jackpot! I run upstairs back to my room, open the door, but the my girl is gone
Damn it! My bad though for leaving her on her own in a room with three angry strangers hahaha. So I just climbed up onto my bunk and passed the fuck out. I was pretty hammered I should add.

[iop890]

Nothing to adventurous. Banged a Thai girl in my apartment's pool while 3 American girls were tanning nearby. They pretended not to notice.

After we finished some other girl started swimming laps and swam directly through my cum cloud.

[YaManBT]

At a public park, in the middle of a baseball field. It was the summer after freshman year of college, which was the last time I ever lived at my mom's house. Now when you live at your parents' house, you have to get creative if you want to smash a chick. Anyway, the park bang was at night, but still risky, because there were houses overlooking the park. A guy actually entered the park right as I was nutting. I pulled the condom off, we fixed our clothes and went back to my car, near where the man was walking his dogs. He was cool about it, though. He laughed and said, "Don't worry, I'm not a cop."

I've also had:

• Blowjob at the movie theater
• Sex on the second floor balcony of a hotel
• Another park fuck in Philly, but it was behind a tree, so it wasn't as bold as being in the middle of a baseball field.
• Banged a chick in my friend's backyard, and on his couch, with him and his girl there. We were drunk as shit, and my homie suggested playing truth or dare. His girl dared me to kiss her friend. That was all she wrote. I credit a major assist to my boy and his girl for that bang. The two of them ended up going up to their room to fuck each other's brains out while I continued to bang the girl's friend.
  

I'm not even a super mack or anything like that, but this thread made me realize I've had some wild experiences, this is not even all of them.

[Windom Earle]

Wrong thread Espresso, haha.

[Dr. Howard]

To this day, I look back and think "how did I even think I was getting away with this".

I was cheating with a girl who was married and worked in a tiny office with a bunch of other chicks. She had her own office with a receptionist and other chicks who worked phones.

We came up with some plan where I was a potential client and would stop by her work, I later learned that people rarely stop by her office to see her. Her receptionist tells me to go in (she didn't come out to greet me) and as I step in the door and close it behind me I can see that she has stripped down to her blazer, bra, skirt and shoes (she wasn't one for underwear anyway)

Needless to say I ended up banging her on her desk, oblivious to what was going on and now really giving a fuck because its not my office and a totally unrelated business. I was however attuned to moving the desk with that all to familiar 'sound of furniture sliding in a short sharp rythm' noise.

When finished she looked like she had just been fucked and I probably looked a bit flushed and that tiny 8x8 room had that humidity and smell that two people just banged hard. Those other office workers (this was middle of the work day, full staff) had to have known something was up...especially when I began to have closed door meetings there once a week and the girls would glare at me as I walked into that tiny office and closed the door for an hour at a time.

To this day, the audacity of this woman blows my mind, nothing will stop them when they want the D. If it makes you feel any better she was fired eventually. Was busted for the cheating....but reconciled with her husband. "what a world' I know, you don't have to tell me twice.

I have included a diagram to try and show you all literally how small this place was.

[big poppa]

(04-08-2014 08:53 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

To this day, I look back and think "how did I even think I was getting away with this".

I was cheating with a girl who was married and worked in a tiny office with a bunch of other chicks. She had her own office with a receptionist and other chicks who worked phones.

We came up with some plan where I was a potential client and would stop by her work, I later learned that people rarely stop by her office to see her. Her receptionist tells me to go in (she didn't come out to greet me) and as I step in the door and close it behind me I can see that she has stripped down to her blazer, bra, skirt and shoes (she wasn't one for underwear anyway)

Needless to say I ended up banging her on her desk, oblivious to what was going on and now really giving a fuck because its not my office and a totally unrelated business. I was however attuned to moving the desk with that all to familiar 'sound of furniture sliding in a short sharp rythm' noise.

When finished she looked like she had just been fucked and I probably looked a bit flushed and that tiny 8x8 room had that humidity and smell that two people just banged hard. Those other office workers (this was middle of the work day, full staff) had to have known something was up...especially when I began to have closed door meetings there once a week and the girls would glare at me as I walked into that tiny office and closed the door for an hour at a time.

To this day, the audacity of this woman blows my mind, nothing will stop them when they want the D. If it makes you feel any better she was fired eventually. Was busted for the cheating....but reconciled with her husband. "what a world' I know, you don't have to tell me twice.

I have included a diagram to try and show you all literally how small this place was.

Damnnn she's got nice legs bro.

But seriously, good effort.

[VincentVinturi]

One morning, on a tropical island in the South of Thailand, I meet a bootylicious German girl while having some coffee at a cafe.

We vibe a bit and it's definitely on. I suggest to her that we cruise around the island together on my motorbike. So we do.

We zoom around the verdant isle, catching unexpected glimpses of the ocean glistening in between thick sheets of green jungle canopy. We stop off at a little beach and fool around in the water. But there are people around so we don't have sex.

By now we're both very horny and totally ready to go. So we hop back on my motorbike and I head back toward my bungalow. In my excitement, I'm driving really fast. "I'm gonna get laid...WEEEE!"

As I turn the corner onto the street where my bungalow sits, waiting to be christened, a truck pulls up in the opposite lane and I'm forced to wipe out. We both fall and get banged up pretty bad.

On the side of the road, a Muslim family is lazing around in little bamboo benches with makeshift roofs for shade. They give us first aid and laugh at me. My girl hit her tailbone pretty hard and could barely walk. I had deep gashes all over my knees.

After 45 minutes of sitting in pain, we hobble the remaining 5 minutes up the road to my bungalow where we painfully do the deed on the bed underneath a mosquito net.

[Van Zan]

Sex in a funeral home the girl's mom owned and lived above.
On the hood of my car in my apartment's parking lot.
On a frisbee golf course.
3 chicks in a day.

My best story is actually a total failure across the board. An out of town bang who was the kind of girl who liked a belt around her neck had come home so we went out for some drinks. Fully anticipating the depravity to come, we ended up at the same bar as an ex and her friend who I had a three way with a few months earlier. I get a text from the ex that they want to do it again. So I rolled the dice and tried to casually exfiltrate myself from the out-of-town girl, but didn't pull it off until it was pretty late, and not until after she had got pissed off at me, thus eliminating her potential as an option for the next day. I get home and promptly pass out on the couch, and when the ex and her friend come by, I refuse to wake up, and the friend leaves while the ex stays. Morning rolls around, and after realizing I botched the op, I toss the ex out on principle, even though she would have been a lay-up. My dick spends the next few days chastising me and threatening divorce, for being handed three chicks, and banging none.

[Troll King]

(04-08-2014 02:12 AM)Earth Wrote:  

For those of you who had sex in public, care to share how you pulled it off? Both in managing to get the girl to do it and logistically, like, how you managed the dangers of getting caught since that is illegal?

Depends on what you mean by "public". I have fucked girls in church parking lots and cemeteries but that was usually at night and sometimes with a GF. With GFs it is pretty easy, just tell them what to do. With randoms booze helps.

I'm not sure what my craziest sex story would be. I fucked one girl on one of her relatives grave stones. Done the cemetery thing a few times, mostly as a teen though. I've done other public sex, but most of it wasn't too public if you know what I mean. The craziest public sex I have had was probably either fucking on different rides at the fair, like getting blown on the fairest wheel at the top or fucking in the house of mirrors, or getting a blowjob from an exgf standing at the counter of Dominos while talking to the hot worker taking my pizza order.

Other than that. Hmmm, dunno. I had one girl who was into all kinds of kinks. I would tie her up and play out rape fantasies, without safe words (which looking back at how crazy that bitch was, that wasn't a good idea ), and stuff like that. The same chick would occasionally want to do some necro play. I would hold her down in a bathtub full of ice water and then pretend to fuck her as a corpse.

In HS I would occasionally fuck a kinda fat chick...ok, she was fat but in my defense she did have a pretty face and we ain't talking blob size here but she was more than just a little 'thick'....and she had nice tits but a stomach. So I made her cut holes in her shirts so I could play with her tits while she sucked me off so I didn't have to see her belly, we only fucked a few times but she would give me head like three or four times after school for several month. Kinda like inverse brown bagging it. Which I have done too, to a butter face.

IDK. This is a hard question to answer. What is considered crazy?