[bojangles]

Good lad, keep it up, DO NOT RESPOND EMOTIONALLY. Damn I had to caps that, but you're flipped the script like I said, just keep blowing her off. I actually think she's gonna cave in and if she does, pump and dump.

[Advent Persona]

Damn, I missed a couple of episodes in this great epic. Another thing you could've done was bring a girl you're currently fucking to that bar and just have a good time while pretending she doesn't even exist. Since your social circle overlaps, you may see her somewhere again. That's fine, just make sure that whenever she sees you, you're rolling high bro. Always have a of a hot girl or two on your arms, or be in the company of high status men, just always having a good time. Pretend like you don't even know her. Don't intentionally avoid her or "her bar". You're a freight train, shit move out of the way for you, not the other way around.

[kaotic]

(11-11-2014 02:59 AM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

Thanks dude, it really helps to get the encouragement. Love the pic too lol. Part of me wants to reply some more - "what reason did you think you had before to give a shit?" But nah. better if I don't participate at all on that level. So far she's the only one who has lashed out with anger and I'm keeping it that way.

You're right, it's tough. But I just saw a couple of pics pop up on Facebook of her with her BF and MY friends, who I'd be even closer to if she hadn't invaded them (she didn't post the pics btw).

"Don't have any friends" boo fucking hoo. Seeing those makes it a lot easier for me to blow this off with zero fucks given hahaha.

Cheers

Why both investing anymore time in a losing return, when you aren't getting the results you want ?

Well have you deleted her off FB ?

It's a really tough situation when you're friends with BF and they're friends with yours.

I always keep my friends and girls separate.

I'd take some time away from all of them to gather myself, date other girls, and do your own thing.

Keep us posted, love this thread, stay strong.

[Fortis]

Hey bro,

I know this feel. My problem wasn't as deep as yours, but I think I can help:

Delete her number AND block it. The blocking part is REALLY fucking hard. You mind will try to come up with all sorts of way to justify why you don't need to or shouldn't block the number. Tell a guy friend that if you don't delete and block her number that you owe him X amount of dollars. You're not gonna wanna pay up, AND (if he's really your friend) he will make feel bad for not living up to your word as a man.

That's the hardest part, IMO.

But you have to think about yourself right now. She consistently makes you super fucking happy, then super fucking miserable, but she gets almost everything out of this "friendship" while your emotions are constantly fucked up because you're not really getting what you want from her: intimacy. You MUST put yourself first in this situation. Do the most powerful thing you can do: walk away and don't take this shit from any girl.

They can't help the fact that they love having a guy who validates them with attention. A girl used to do this to me and it actually got worse once I started dating a lot and finally trying to learn about women. She'd suddenly start hitting me with shit like, "oMG FORTIS, i need your advice. This guy wants to go out on a date, but I don't know what to tell him. I wanna go, but I want it to be casual and not so serious."

What the fuck do I look like I have a vagina and give a fuck? not to sound harsh, but that's not what a man is about.

If you don't walk away, then you're going to constantly be on this roller coaster ride. There will be lots of tears from her, and you will not feel great about yourself for a couple of days to a couple of weeks, but you will thank yourself for having the strength to put your interests above her's.


Good luck.

[EpicBeta]

(11-11-2014 12:11 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(11-11-2014 02:59 AM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

Thanks dude, it really helps to get the encouragement. Love the pic too lol. Part of me wants to reply some more - "what reason did you think you had before to give a shit?" But nah. better if I don't participate at all on that level. So far she's the only one who has lashed out with anger and I'm keeping it that way.

You're right, it's tough. But I just saw a couple of pics pop up on Facebook of her with her BF and MY friends, who I'd be even closer to if she hadn't invaded them (she didn't post the pics btw).

"Don't have any friends" boo fucking hoo. Seeing those makes it a lot easier for me to blow this off with zero fucks given hahaha.

Cheers

Why both investing anymore time in a losing return, when you aren't getting the results you want ?

Well have you deleted her off FB ?

It's a really tough situation when you're friends with BF and they're friends with yours.

I always keep my friends and girls separate.

I'd take some time away from all of them to gather myself, date other girls, and do your own thing.

Keep us posted, love this thread, stay strong.

Ha yes, I did everything I could to prevent overlap. I also told her before I stopped talking to her that our friendship was in trouble because I didn't want to be anywhere near when she started dating again.

That's why I got so pissed when just a couple weeks later she went out with my good friend's close buddy, who she wasn't even that into at the beginning (details about that covered earlier).

I have distanced myself from these friends as a result, which sucked because I was hoping they'd help me start over and forget about her. She fucked that up for me when she met the dude at my bday and later agreed to go out w him because he kept asking. Today they're a couple yay!

Anway, I deleted her facebook a long time ago (phone# too) but we still have about lots of mutual friends so I might catch a pic of her from time to time. No biggy.

Thanks!

[EpicBeta]

A little more salt in the wound just for fun: after all this drama over the last few days, my mom texts her a couple hours ago (she LOVES my parents) - pic of a pretty bouquet of bday flowers I sent her with a balloon.

My mom doesn't know how to update her contacts so she still her number as one of my numbers, from back when we use to live together. She was all like thank you honey I love them!! What a surprise!!! But to the girl lol.

Then she told me she'd accidentally first sent it to her and they were texting back and forth a few minutes ago. I'm thinking AWESOME. Then I'm like "oh haha oops! so anyway…" (subject change).

Just thought that was kind of funny. Another little reminder of the awesomness she gave up lol. Great timing mom.

@Fortis, I have a beta friend who is THE WORST about letting girls ask him for dude advice, some who he has feelings for!! It's insane. I thought I was bad, but there's this one chick he does EVERYTHING for, she totally takes advantage, ignores the fact that he likes her, and then asks for dude advice on top of it.

But here's the worst part; he complains about it, sees what's wrong with it, but still allows it and finds ways to rationalize it. I've tried so hard to motivate him and lead by example, but now I realized he's a lost cause. Can't be talked out of being beta.

Seems like he gets it sometimes and then goes right back to being her "puppy dog" slave. It's really frustrating to watch, so I've stopped trying to help. Can't be around that shit.

Anyway, your story reminded me of that. Already deleted her # a while back btw, but thanks for all the input!

EDIT: on the mom texting story - I really don't take any pleasure on making her feel bad, but I always have to put up with being reminded of her by family members and mutual friends, when I'm missing or trying to forget her. At least she can see a little bit what I go through.

[Seamus]

(11-11-2014 04:59 PM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

there's this one chick he does EVERYTHING for, she totally takes advantage, ignores the fact that he likes her, and then asks for dude advice on top of it.

But here's the worst part; he complains about it, sees what's wrong with it, but still allows it and finds ways to rationalize it.

Haha, this is a spot on description of the guy who wrote the OP seven pages and how ever many months ago. Not only are you no longer that guy, you're diagnosing it in others. Still a long way to ago, but keep up the good progress bro

[Onto]

Wow, I haven't been keeping up with this thread at all and just read the past couple pages.

One thing that stuck out at me was, "Who the fuck does she think she is to say where you can and can't go?". And why are you still placating her? Fuck that bitch! All she wants to do is toy around with you. She knows how you feel about her and she starts fucking your friends or guys you know? Now when she thinks she lost one of her hard-core beta orbiters (you), she starts dangling a false carrot.

Sorry if I got the story wrong, and your short response was alright, but next time she sends something like that to you, maybe you could reply with, "Try not to take everything so seriously, ok?"

Saying that calls her out on her bullshit while at the same time keeps you firmly on higher ground above her. She will respect you for it.

Also you should never apologize to her for anything, never say "Ok, I won't go to places you will be", etc. I understand you didn't, but you were tempted and I think that longer response after your previous short missive didn't help you either.

Sounds like your on the right path of ignoring her, but I don't know, it also sounds like you are right on the edge of falling back into the drama with her.

Advent Persona gave some great advice. Go to wherever she's at with a new girl in tow, and act indifferent. Don't ignore her, don't be super friendly, just act like she's not important and just one of the guys. Act like nothing ever happened between the two of you and there is no history.

If you can do that, and brush off all her craziness with laughter, I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up knocking on your door to fuck your brains out.

Here's where I insert a Darth Vader picture, "She will come to me?"

[kaotic]

I also wanted to note:

You ever notice how when you reject a woman - he real side comes out.

Quote:

Maybe ur sorry that my everything is fucked,

Quote:

Don't show up at the new spot

Quote:

If you could avoid showing up places that I work I'd appreciate it.

Quote:

I shouldn't have opened up, as u certainly didn't say a damn word about whatever you are doing or thinking. I should have followed suit. Now I just feel stupid for being transparent, won't happen again

Quote:

I'm glad you did show up because it made me realize a lot of things, and now I'm not mad, I'm just done.
You showed me there's no longer any reason for me to give a shit

It's starting to come out ^^above she's going to completely go off on him.

Then he'll see her for what she truly is - a SELFISH manipulative woman.

[AneroidOcean]

EpicBeta - Guess what? You rationalize with the best of them. There is ZERO reason you should be having any contact with her. Block her e-mail, or set up a rule to send them immediately to the trash so you never see them.

You can't keep in contact with this cunt. She has shown her colors, stop talking to her. Move on with your life. Become that guy you want to be, you're not anywhere near as far removed from your friend's simping as you think you are.

Every time you address her questions/comments you're falling right into her frame. STOP IT.

[EpicBeta]

@Onto; I totally hear what you're saying bro. My saying sorry about about certain things was a "kill her w kindness" strategy. Was thinking if I'm nice and don't stoop to her level, the worse she can feel about her attacks. I agree with you though and that's great feedback. Thanks!

I'll do my best to resist the temptation to get roped back into her drama. All I know is that if she comes back into my life it's going to be on my terms from here on out.

Cheers

[EpicBeta]

@AndriodOcean - I hear you and appreciate your thoughts.

For the record i don't claim to be or think that I'm much better, removed or ahead of my friend. Still have a long way to go. Just that I'm at least trying to change.

I blew this girl off many months ago and ignored repeated messages and attempts to reach out. It was hard but I did it.

I was kind of forced into seeing her again. And while I could've definitely ignored her entirely, I feel ok about my short responses. They definitely pissed her off and like you said her true colors are showing.

I'll ignore her now until the day freaks out and pounds on my door to bang

Hahaha Thanks man

[kaotic]

(11-11-2014 07:49 PM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

@Onto; I totally hear what you're saying bro. My saying sorry about about certain things was a "kill her w kindness" strategy. Was thinking if I'm nice and don't stoop to her level, the worse she can feel about her attacks. I agree with you though and that's great feedback. Thanks!

I'll do my best to resist the temptation to get roped back into her drama. All I know is that if she comes back into my life it's going to be on my terms from here on out.

Cheers

Being kind to her is showing her your weaknesses. I used to apologize for everything, now I don't apologize unless I truly fucked up.

Like I said she wants to get an emotional reaction from you, and you're being a stone cold fox right now, which is good.

Personally, she SHOULDN'T come back into your life at all, you need to cut the umbilical cord, it's stunting your growth as a man and with game.

[EpicBeta]

@kaotic - ya you're right man. I'm glad I haven't let myself say sorry for any of my actions (just sorry ur having a tough time and things like that), but no more apologies from now on. Thanks

[Onto]

(11-11-2014 08:01 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Personally, she SHOULDN'T come back into your life at all, you need to cut the umbilical cord, it's stunting your growth as a man and with game.

I agree with kaotic.

If you are at a point where you have mastered yourself in relation to her then I would say have fun being indifferent to her, bring new girls around, treat her like she's an anybody, and basically use her as an experiment to see if you can get her to come knocking at your door.

You would need to have great emotional distance from her to pull that off, and if you did eventually bang her I would be worried what would happen to you next.

I sense you are not a Jedi yet and it would be like Luke leaving his training on Dagaboh to try and save his friends. You'll get some good licks in, but it's quite likely you'll get your hand cut off, and need your friends to come and save you. In this metaphor it's your growth that gets cutoff.

[bojangles]

I love your Star Wars metaphors Onto haha.

[eradicator]

yeah, the leaving degobah too early to go do what you want when you aren't ready is a great metaphor for a lot of areas in life.

[EpicBeta]

Hey guys,

So nothing to report on this drama. I didn't receive anymore messages and stuck to the plan of not communicating. I'm fine with it most of the time, but still not really over it truth be told. Sometimes I feel like I am for long stretches of time and then she gets back in my head somehow, making me sad and pissed. But then I also feel very good about what I did and justified in my actions.

Whatever. Fuck her lol.

Just wanted to give you guys who have been helping me out a little update and I posted a couple new threads. Feel free to check em out:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-44097.html
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-44098.html

cheers

[Sonoma]

Option 3- you need to learn to not be a pussy when pussy comes around. Option 1 is a cop out and too antisocial for my tastes. Option 2 is what youve been doing your whole life. Go with 3.

Also. How fucking old are you and are you still in LA?

[EpicBeta]

Ah I opted to just cut her out of my life completely. if you check out the last couple of pages on this thread you can see the details. Just stopped responding to her. She freaked out for a bit, but finally gave up. Then she tried confronting me when we bumped into each other and I gave her no indication of my thoughts or feelings. She sent a couple pissed off emails. Haven't heard from her since, and I don't think I will. She's pretty stubborn that way. Just gotta live with that and move on now I suppose.

To answer your question I'm thirty fucking three and yup I'm still here in socal

cheers homie

(01-11-2015 10:26 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Option 3- you need to learn to not be a pussy when pussy comes around. Option 1 is a cop out and too antisocial for my tastes. Option 2 is what youve been doing your whole life. Go with 3.

Also. How fucking old are you and are you still in LA?

[kaotic]

(01-12-2015 03:07 AM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

Ah I opted to just cut her out of my life completely. if you check out the last couple of pages on this thread you can see the details. Just stopped responding to her. She freaked out for a bit, but finally gave up. Then she tried confronting me when we bumped into each other and I gave her no indication of my thoughts or feelings. She sent a couple pissed off emails. Haven't heard from her since, and I don't think I will. She's pretty stubborn that way. Just gotta live with that and move on now I suppose.

To answer your question I'm thirty fucking three and yup I'm still here in socal

cheers homie

(01-11-2015 10:26 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Option 3- you need to learn to not be a pussy when pussy comes around. Option 1 is a cop out and too antisocial for my tastes. Option 2 is what youve been doing your whole life. Go with 3.

Also. How fucking old are you and are you still in LA?

Good job man, keep it at it, play it cool when she's around, if she causes a scene then let her, walk out, or react calmly.

Keep on gaming, the other threads look good.

[CactusCat589]

I was literally biting my nails when I was reading this. It's like watching my boy connect with a pass and then start running to the touchdown line. Will he make it? Will he get there? Will he slam into the ground. Will he turn around and start sprinting in the wrong direction?

But you seem to have done it. So many great guys posting here and willing you to push through this. I was gratified to see you come through.

I love it. If I were ever in a situation like this, I would oblige her and give her drama. But the drama that she wouldn't like. Take up the offer to be set up with the hot friend, then just sabotage their relationship once she's with you. Just because you can.

But barring that, there's nothing left for you to be. You already fucked her according to your first post. She has NOTHING on you anymore. Just let it be. Treat her like what she is - an old acquaintance. Don't even go back to this thread - it's behind you now.

[EpicBeta]

(01-14-2015 01:04 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

(01-12-2015 03:07 AM)EpicBeta Wrote:  

Ah I opted to just cut her out of my life completely. if you check out the last couple of pages on this thread you can see the details. Just stopped responding to her. She freaked out for a bit, but finally gave up. Then she tried confronting me when we bumped into each other and I gave her no indication of my thoughts or feelings. She sent a couple pissed off emails. Haven't heard from her since, and I don't think I will. She's pretty stubborn that way. Just gotta live with that and move on now I suppose.

To answer your question I'm thirty fucking three and yup I'm still here in socal

cheers homie

(01-11-2015 10:26 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Option 3- you need to learn to not be a pussy when pussy comes around. Option 1 is a cop out and too antisocial for my tastes. Option 2 is what youve been doing your whole life. Go with 3.

Also. How fucking old are you and are you still in LA?

Good job man, keep it at it, play it cool when she's around, if she causes a scene then let her, walk out, or react calmly.

Keep on gaming, the other threads look good.

Thank you man that means a lot. Really. Cheers

[EpicBeta]

Haha I'm glad you enjoyed my saga and continuing transformation. I couldn't have gotten through it and played it cool without the support of the great guys on this thread. I'm very thankful.

I never actually fucked her. You might have misread. There was just a period way back in college where we messed around, made out, some finger banging. The offer of her hot friend is ancient history now too.

She's pretty much out of my life, but since she's dating the "best friend" of one of my closest buddies out here now I might run into her at some point. Knowing her they'll date for 4-5 years and everything will fall apart. By that time she'll be almost 40. Or things will work out and they'll get married. Who knows. I have to try and not let it affect me. There's nothing left for me to do, except try to become a player, bang younger chicks and make up for everything I fucked up and missed out on.

I wish I could say she wasn't haunting me. Goddamn onenitis. It's fucking horrible. Some times I'm fine, but it's so hard to shake the wondering of what could have been, if I had just had breakthroughs earlier on. I feel like we really could have been perfect and she really was the love of my life. Stupid and irrational I know. It's just hard not to let it fuck with me. I really need to start getting laid. Hopefully that will help me.

I'm gonna work on that, now that I have most of my health back, and try to get my confidence up to a healthy level; really learn to accept myself. It's a process, but I know I can get there.

Thanks again to all of you guys who have been following my journey and offering great advice and encouragement.

(01-14-2015 01:41 AM)CactusCat589 Wrote:  

I was literally biting my nails when I was reading this. It's like watching my boy connect with a pass and then start running to the touchdown line. Will he make it? Will he get there? Will he slam into the ground. Will he turn around and start sprinting in the wrong direction?

But you seem to have done it. So many great guys posting here and willing you to push through this. I was gratified to see you come through.

I love it. If I were ever in a situation like this, I would oblige her and give her drama. But the drama that she wouldn't like. Take up the offer to be set up with the hot friend, then just sabotage their relationship once she's with you. Just because you can.

But barring that, there's nothing left for you to be. You already fucked her according to your first post. She has NOTHING on you anymore. Just let it be. Treat her like what she is - an old acquaintance. Don't even go back to this thread - it's behind you now.

[bojangles]

Well done mate, now move on from this thread, fuck it off and forget it.