An interesting story on the BBC, at first I felt sympathy but the more I read, the more I felt let down.
I feel for the dead guy more than the widow. He gave her everything he had, knowing he was dying, and she wants "keep her options open" - to do what? Sit around crying? Focus on her career? Find another guy to raise the kids surrounded by pictures of a dead man?
These stories always manage to be supportive while accidentally portraying the women as washed-up spinsters in the making. Divorcees who never got the chance to destroy the man's life because he inconsiderately died before she could work up to it. It's always about her choices, never about honouring the dead guy's wishes.
Am I seeing this too harshly?
Quote:Quote:
Warren Brewer, 32, had his sperm frozen before having radiotherapy treatment for cancer and signed forms saying his wife could use it if he died.
Regulations state sperm and eggs can be stored for decades, but individuals must update their consent every few years.
That is no longer possible since Mr Brewer's death - so, under current rules, if the sperm is not used within 14 months it will be destroyed.
The couple had been together for eight years and married in December 2011, six weeks before Mr Brewer died.
Mrs Warren, who uses her late husband's first name as her surname, said she was not yet ready to have his child and may never decide to.
But the 28-year-old physiotherapist wants to be able to keep her options open.
She told BBC Radio 5 live: "I can't make that decision, and certainly can't start doing it, at a time when I'm still grieving and professionally trying to establish myself financially and so on."
...
She said any child she had using the sperm would be brought up surrounded by photographs and videos of her late husband and would have "two families" in their life.
"Of course it's not ideal," she added. "That's something I've got to go over in my head at a time when I'm not so emotional and not still grieving so painfully over my husband."
I feel for the dead guy more than the widow. He gave her everything he had, knowing he was dying, and she wants "keep her options open" - to do what? Sit around crying? Focus on her career? Find another guy to raise the kids surrounded by pictures of a dead man?
These stories always manage to be supportive while accidentally portraying the women as washed-up spinsters in the making. Divorcees who never got the chance to destroy the man's life because he inconsiderately died before she could work up to it. It's always about her choices, never about honouring the dead guy's wishes.
Am I seeing this too harshly?
"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold