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I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?
#1

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Long story short, I'm still learning game and this is my first GF since learning of game. Used all portions of game on this girl I liked and it worked. She hooked hard and really wanted to be with me. She confessed some things that opened my eyes to how much she liked me. So, after about 5 months I could tell she was wearing thin as she wanted to be exclusive. That was fine with me as I wanted a LTR as well. Roissy says you usually have about 6 months before a woman will either want to be exclusive or not want to bang anymore.

Anyway, we started dating and things are good for the most part, but it's like she's only truly happy when I'm full fledged beta. She wants me to tell her I miss her, spend every waking second with her, pay attention to her 100% when she's around, and if I even joke she gets mad and says her feelings are hurt. She's 30, so I know I don't need to be as alpha as I would with a 21 year old, but I get nervous when I act beta - all of the bad memories come up of scaring women away acting like that. She eats it up when I act beta and really loves it, but I just get worried acting like that because I know how it can backfire. It seems like the only time she's happy is when I'm acting like that. The other day she told me she missed me and I said to her "of course you do." She said, "Wow, you're a jerk!" and is still mad today. I was just trying to be cocky funny, and she got all upset that I didn't tell her back that I missed her too. She's overly senitive about EVERYTHING and it gets exhausting. I want to be with her, she is the most sexual woman I've ever been with. She literally wants it twice as much as I do and I'm not exaggerating. She is also always buying me stuff, and I can just tell how she looks at me that she is completely in love, but I just can't handle how she takes offense to stupid things I mean to be funny.

So, here is my question: have I gone too alpha and need to dial way back? Since I have her, do I even need to bother with game? I know you should never stop gaming to an extent because it keeps her desiring you and that's when when a woman's truly happy, but should I just only do it when I see signs of her getting bored? I hate that American women are this way, but I'll never go back to how I was before, I just want to find that balance and I am terrible at that now. My timing can suck, and I am so afraid of doing things the beta way I used to when I get the urge I usually either say something cocky funny or don't respond. I play the text game perfect per Roosh's rules, I've only paid for 2 dinners the entire time I've known her, she cooks for me, does anything I want in bed, always says stuff like I miss and love you first, etc.

What do you guys think? Hoping some experienced guys like AO, WIA, Gio, etc can chime in. I like having a GF and we have a great time when together, the only time we fight is when she says I'm being a jerk when in reality I'm just not being beta. She tells me that I am a jerk sometimes and I used to be scared when a woman says that but now I know it is better than being called a nice guy. We even had an indirect talk about game once about an ex of hers that was obviously completely beta as he worshipped the ground she walked on. She said she would get avoid having sex with him and broke up with him after a year and sees him as just a friend. I said something along the lines of he needed to not be such a puss and man up and she said "yeah, but you take it too far." Are these signs that I am in fact out of balance with the alpha/beta?
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#2

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Being alpha should be something hardwired into your head. You don't lose your frame ever no matter what she said. There is a line between asshole and alpha. If you're being insulting you're doing it wrong. You have to have the playful, but aloof vibe don't let her dictate what you can or can't do.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#3

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-20-2014 04:08 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Being alpha should be something hardwired into your head. You don't lose your frame ever no matter what she said. There is a line between asshole and alpha. If you're being insulting you're doing it wrong. You have to have the playful, but aloof vibe don't let her dictate what you can or can't do.

See, I think I'm just being playful but she gets offended so easily. I can't joke about anything that has to do with our relationship or she gets really upset about it.
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#4

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Find something else to joke about. You don't need the same topic. Also if she gets mad let her stay mad. Don't contact her if she is and let her come to you. You have to get her invested in you more if you want to maintain what you are doing.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#5

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-20-2014 04:12 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Find something else to joke about. You don't need the same topic. Also if she gets mad let her stay mad. Don't contact her if she is and let her come to you. You have to get her invested in you more if you want to maintain what you are doing.

Okay. That's exactly what I'm doing now. She stormed out of my apartment when I said the "of course you do" when she said she missed me. She sent me a text telling me I was a jerk for saying that and I sent her a text a few hours later that I had no desire to fight with her (which I don't, I am a very chill person) and it was a joke. That was yesterday morning and she still hasn't texted back, but I'm done. I didn't do anything wrong and she will have to contact me.
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#6

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

In your situation I'd say go 60% alpha. If you give up too much she'll start controlling you, get bored and possibly dump you anyway. I find doing some beta-ish things keep them on the hook longer.

My girlfriend happens to dig the alphaness. I'll give her a bit of a soft side, but I make the rules. You need to fine tune the situation that works for you.

Chicago Tribe.

My podcast with H3ltrsk3ltr and Cobra.

Snowplow is uber deep cover as an alpha dark triad player red pill awoken gorilla minded narc cop. -Kaotic
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#7

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Man that's a lot of beta.
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#8

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 07:44 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Man that's a lot of beta.

Just be who you want to be. If you try and be anyone else your just faking who you are and not helping anyone. This site has a ton of great information and suggestions. However if you are only trying to be a "Alpha" cause you read a thread about it, your doing it wrong. If you truly want to be a Alpha cause its who you want to be then that's different. You can turn from beta to alpha to a extent. An if you truly want to be a Alpha you wont have to make a thread about being beta... You will do whatever you want and accept the repercussions of your decision and go on about living your life.

In a relationship as well as in life be who you want to be. Say the things you want to say, do the things you want to do. Its your life don't tip toe through it worried about what other people think whether it be a girlfriend, guy friend, or random guy on the internet.

[Image: b49111f3e0e1baf105815afb6c839f43.jpg]

Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
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#9

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 10:34 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 07:44 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Man that's a lot of beta.

Just be who you want to be. If you try and be anyone else your just faking who you are and not helping anyone. This site has a ton of great information and suggestions. However if you are only trying to be a "Alpha" cause you read a thread about it, your doing it wrong. If you truly want to be a Alpha cause its who you want to be then that's different. You can turn from beta to alpha to a extent. An if you truly want to be a Alpha you wont have to make a thread about being beta... You will do whatever you want and accept the repercussions of your decision and go on about living your life.

In a relationship as well as in life be who you want to be. Say the things you want to say, do the things you want to do. Its your life don't tip toe through it worried about what other people think whether it be a girlfriend, guy friend, or random guy on the internet.

[Image: b49111f3e0e1baf105815afb6c839f43.jpg]


I understand that, but being beta is who I always used to want to be, but it never got me anywhere. I'm just trying to find that balance. I guess there are times I force the alpha, or more specifically game principles, and they have worked. Just like text game, before I was such a beta it was ridiculous. Extremely long texts, perfect grammar, replying instantly, etc. That's what I thought and felt was right.

It's been 2 days and haven't heard from her. This is tough. Literally all I did was crack a harmless joke. I didn't insult her and I didn't do anything more than act cocky funny for 1 second. I don't get it? Just trying to learn. This is the first GF post red pill (or atleast post learning of red-pill).
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#10

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 11:00 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 10:34 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 07:44 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Man that's a lot of beta.

Just be who you want to be. If you try and be anyone else your just faking who you are and not helping anyone. This site has a ton of great information and suggestions. However if you are only trying to be a "Alpha" cause you read a thread about it, your doing it wrong. If you truly want to be a Alpha cause its who you want to be then that's different. You can turn from beta to alpha to a extent. An if you truly want to be a Alpha you wont have to make a thread about being beta... You will do whatever you want and accept the repercussions of your decision and go on about living your life.

In a relationship as well as in life be who you want to be. Say the things you want to say, do the things you want to do. Its your life don't tip toe through it worried about what other people think whether it be a girlfriend, guy friend, or random guy on the internet.

[Image: b49111f3e0e1baf105815afb6c839f43.jpg]


I understand that, but being beta is who I always used to want to be, but it never got me anywhere. I'm just trying to find that balance. I guess there are times I force the alpha, or more specifically game principles, and they have worked. Just like text game, before I was such a beta it was ridiculous. Extremely long texts, perfect grammar, replying instantly, etc. That's what I thought and felt was right.

It's been 2 days and haven't heard from her. This is tough. Literally all I did was crack a harmless joke. I didn't insult her and I didn't do anything more than act cocky funny for 1 second. I don't get it? Just trying to learn. This is the first GF post red pill (or atleast post learning of red-pill).

If you keep doing things that naturally feel Alpha and right to you, you will find that sweet spot. However you didnt get to where you are between beta and alpha in a day... It's pretty much been your whole life up until this point. So don't think you can just flip and switch and boom you find the perfect balance between the two. It will take some time, effort and trail and error just like anything else in this life. You are off to a great start tho man. Just keep working on finding that balance and not losing yourself as a person. Its all up hill from here man. If by chance you lose this girl it will prally suck for a little bit, its always hard to give up a GF you bonded with I dont care how Alpha you are. However its only for the better... I can't count how many times I lost a GF and was thinking I had made a huge mistake and really missed them. Then I always end up with a hotter better girl. It happens man just focus on your right now and being the man you want to be an the girls will come.

You got this man!!!! The world is yours

Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
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#11

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 11:28 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 11:00 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 10:34 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 07:44 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Man that's a lot of beta.

Just be who you want to be. If you try and be anyone else your just faking who you are and not helping anyone. This site has a ton of great information and suggestions. However if you are only trying to be a "Alpha" cause you read a thread about it, your doing it wrong. If you truly want to be a Alpha cause its who you want to be then that's different. You can turn from beta to alpha to a extent. An if you truly want to be a Alpha you wont have to make a thread about being beta... You will do whatever you want and accept the repercussions of your decision and go on about living your life.

In a relationship as well as in life be who you want to be. Say the things you want to say, do the things you want to do. Its your life don't tip toe through it worried about what other people think whether it be a girlfriend, guy friend, or random guy on the internet.

[Image: b49111f3e0e1baf105815afb6c839f43.jpg]


I understand that, but being beta is who I always used to want to be, but it never got me anywhere. I'm just trying to find that balance. I guess there are times I force the alpha, or more specifically game principles, and they have worked. Just like text game, before I was such a beta it was ridiculous. Extremely long texts, perfect grammar, replying instantly, etc. That's what I thought and felt was right.

It's been 2 days and haven't heard from her. This is tough. Literally all I did was crack a harmless joke. I didn't insult her and I didn't do anything more than act cocky funny for 1 second. I don't get it? Just trying to learn. This is the first GF post red pill (or atleast post learning of red-pill).

If you keep doing things that naturally feel Alpha and right to you, you will find that sweet spot. However you didnt get to where you are between beta and alpha in a day... It's pretty much been your whole life up until this point. So don't think you can just flip and switch and boom you find the perfect balance between the two. It will take some time, effort and trail and error just like anything else in this life. You are off to a great start tho man. Just keep working on finding that balance and not losing yourself as a person. Its all up hill from here man. If by chance you lose this girl it will prally suck for a little bit, its always hard to give up a GF you bonded with I dont care how Alpha you are. However its only for the better... I can't count how many times I lost a GF and was thinking I had made a huge mistake and really missed them. Then I always end up with a hotter better girl. It happens man just focus on your right now and being the man you want to be an the girls will come.

You got this man!!!! The world is yours

Thanks brother. That makes me feel a lot better.

Shit, I just don't understand women. I make a harmless joke. In my eyes, it's not a big deal - even if she took offense to it, it's not a big enough deal to worry about. In her eyes: I'm a jerk who doesn't care about her and she's sick of it (I'm guessing that's what she's thinking). Thing is, she was the one who wanted this. She is the one who said she would get a rush of a million emotions flooding her when she sees me. She is the one who said she's in love with me. She's the one who said the last time we had a fight she layed on the bathroom floor crying. It's all her, yet she's the one who seems to want to sabotage what we have going on over something as stupid as me telling her that I know she misses me rather than saying I miss her too. She just wants a beta 100% of the time.

It makes no sense, but I guess I need to get it through my head that women do not think logically. That's the hardest thing for me to learn: what does it mean to think with your emotions and not your logic? Hell, I don't have any way to define that, so it's been so hard for me to understand how women think and go from there. It's literally been the hardest thing I've ever learned.

How can we understand what thinking with emotions actually is? How do we define it so we can understand women better? That may be a good thread to start?
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#12

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Taking into account this might be a troll post, here is my take (the amount of needless verbiage strikes me as coming from a female writer).

I don't know how any can make it to even age 11 without knowing how easily offended women are. Little girls cry at the drop of a hat. Moms have breakdowns when you use a bad world. "Ladies" say "Well, I never!" and storm off in a huff in old movies.

That said, if you're gonna be the type to offend, you have to embody the role. That includes two things.

1). Have an unbreakable "frame" or persona like Henry Rollins or someone like that. Meaning, if she doesn't like it, well, tough. Doesn't affect you. Women will come to accept this -- and even like it -- after a while but you have to totally immerse yourself in this frame.

2). Have several other women on speed dial. Spin plates. Because if you're gonna piss one off, you need a few in reserve. This requires a mindset where you're not looking for a girlfriend per se.
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#13

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

I'm confused here are you trolling?

You can never be too alpha.

You can be a lesser asshole.
You can calbrate better.
You can be a better person.
You can try doing activities that will instill real confidence instead of mentally masturbating about how you're such a special little snowflake as a means to suppress the tiny little voice in the back of your head telling you exactly what you fear is true.
You can try looking in the mirror and thinking long and hard about the image you have of yourself in your head and what you really are in person.

You're a short step away from abject failure and utter depresssion, even though you may think you're well and truly above that.

Stare at the abyss and know thyself first.

Then probably you'll be a littler humbler and a little wiser and prevent the house of cards that is your ego from crashing down.
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#14

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

40 / 60

You return 40% of the 60% affection she gives.
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#15

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:00 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Taking into account this might be a troll post, here is my take (the amount of needless verbiage strikes me as coming from a female writer).

Not trolling at all man.


Quote:Quote:

I don't know how any can make it to even age 11 without knowing how easily offended women are. Little girls cry at the drop of a hat. Moms have breakdowns when you use a bad world. "Ladies" say "Well, I never!" and storm off in a huff in old movies.

That said, if you're gonna be the type to offend, you have to embody the role. That includes two things.

1). Have an unbreakable "frame" or persona like Henry Rollins or someone like that. Meaning, if she doesn't like it, well, tough. Doesn't affect you. Women will come to accept this -- and even like it -- after a while but you have to totally immerse yourself in this frame.

2). Have several other women on speed dial. Spin plates. Because if you're gonna piss one off, you need a few in reserve. This requires a mindset where you're not looking for a girlfriend per se.

You can't ever go too overboard? You should just own it? I am being honest here, not trolling at all, but I read on Roissy's blog that you have to find a balance. Too much or too little can drive a woman away?

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:30 PM)Sharkie Wrote:  

I'm confused here are you trolling?

You can never be too alpha.

You can be a lesser asshole.
You can calbrate better.

You can be a better person.
You can try doing activities that will instill real confidence instead of mentally masturbating about how you're such a special little snowflake as a means to suppress the tiny little voice in the back of your head telling you exactly what you fear is true.
You can try looking in the mirror and thinking long and hard about the image you have of yourself in your head and what you really are in person.

You're a short step away from abject failure and utter depresssion, even though you may think you're well and truly above that.

Stare at the abyss and know thyself first.

Then probably you'll be a littler humbler and a little wiser and prevent the house of cards that is your ego from crashing down.

The bold is what I am getting at I guess. Just trying to understand where that point is.
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#16

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 01:03 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:00 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Taking into account this might be a troll post, here is my take (the amount of needless verbiage strikes me as coming from a female writer).

Not trolling at all man.


Quote:Quote:

I don't know how any can make it to even age 11 without knowing how easily offended women are. Little girls cry at the drop of a hat. Moms have breakdowns when you use a bad world. "Ladies" say "Well, I never!" and storm off in a huff in old movies.

That said, if you're gonna be the type to offend, you have to embody the role. That includes two things.

1). Have an unbreakable "frame" or persona like Henry Rollins or someone like that. Meaning, if she doesn't like it, well, tough. Doesn't affect you. Women will come to accept this -- and even like it -- after a while but you have to totally immerse yourself in this frame.

2). Have several other women on speed dial. Spin plates. Because if you're gonna piss one off, you need a few in reserve. This requires a mindset where you're not looking for a girlfriend per se.

You can't ever go too overboard? You should just own it? I am being honest here, not trolling at all, but I read on Roissy's blog that you have to find a balance. Too much or too little can drive a woman away?

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:30 PM)Sharkie Wrote:  

I'm confused here are you trolling?

You can never be too alpha.

You can be a lesser asshole.
You can calbrate better.

You can be a better person.
You can try doing activities that will instill real confidence instead of mentally masturbating about how you're such a special little snowflake as a means to suppress the tiny little voice in the back of your head telling you exactly what you fear is true.
You can try looking in the mirror and thinking long and hard about the image you have of yourself in your head and what you really are in person.

You're a short step away from abject failure and utter depresssion, even though you may think you're well and truly above that.

Stare at the abyss and know thyself first.

Then probably you'll be a littler humbler and a little wiser and prevent the house of cards that is your ego from crashing down.

The bold is what I am getting at I guess. Just trying to understand where that point is.

I follow the 1:1/3 rule. I was pretty much doing this with my friends and brothers before this, but then someone on here posted about doing it with girls as well and I thought it made a lot of sense. 1/3 of what I do or say will be joking/ trolling/ being cocky. If someone has a problem with that frequency and you arent being offensive, its them not you.
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#17

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-21-2014 02:42 PM)Cyr Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 01:03 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:00 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Taking into account this might be a troll post, here is my take (the amount of needless verbiage strikes me as coming from a female writer).

Not trolling at all man.


Quote:Quote:

I don't know how any can make it to even age 11 without knowing how easily offended women are. Little girls cry at the drop of a hat. Moms have breakdowns when you use a bad world. "Ladies" say "Well, I never!" and storm off in a huff in old movies.

That said, if you're gonna be the type to offend, you have to embody the role. That includes two things.

1). Have an unbreakable "frame" or persona like Henry Rollins or someone like that. Meaning, if she doesn't like it, well, tough. Doesn't affect you. Women will come to accept this -- and even like it -- after a while but you have to totally immerse yourself in this frame.

2). Have several other women on speed dial. Spin plates. Because if you're gonna piss one off, you need a few in reserve. This requires a mindset where you're not looking for a girlfriend per se.

You can't ever go too overboard? You should just own it? I am being honest here, not trolling at all, but I read on Roissy's blog that you have to find a balance. Too much or too little can drive a woman away?

Quote: (02-21-2014 12:30 PM)Sharkie Wrote:  

I'm confused here are you trolling?

You can never be too alpha.

You can be a lesser asshole.
You can calbrate better.

You can be a better person.
You can try doing activities that will instill real confidence instead of mentally masturbating about how you're such a special little snowflake as a means to suppress the tiny little voice in the back of your head telling you exactly what you fear is true.
You can try looking in the mirror and thinking long and hard about the image you have of yourself in your head and what you really are in person.

You're a short step away from abject failure and utter depresssion, even though you may think you're well and truly above that.

Stare at the abyss and know thyself first.

Then probably you'll be a littler humbler and a little wiser and prevent the house of cards that is your ego from crashing down.

The bold is what I am getting at I guess. Just trying to understand where that point is.

I follow the 1:1/3 rule. I was pretty much doing this with my friends and brothers before this, but then someone on here posted about doing it with girls as well and I thought it made a lot of sense. 1/3 of what I do or say will be joking/ trolling/ being cocky. If someone has a problem with that frequency and you arent being offensive, its them not you.

I feel like that's exactly the frequency I did it. Maybe a little more, but nothing like 3/4 of the time or even half. It was just a cocky-funny joke or a statement about how I am not putting up with stupid shit every now and again.
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#18

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

LOL, you're not that much of a dick unless you make your GF cry once a week. If she's really that sexual and wants it twice as much as you do then think of think of all the break up/make up sex. It's hot.


Quote: (02-20-2014 04:15 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Okay. That's exactly what I'm doing now. She stormed out of my apartment when I said the "of course you do" when she said she missed me. She sent me a text telling me I was a jerk for saying that and I sent her a text a few hours later that I had no desire to fight with her (which I don't, I am a very chill person) and it was a joke. That was yesterday morning and she still hasn't texted back, but I'm done. I didn't do anything wrong and she will have to contact me.
The move here was to text "you bring that jerk out of me. it's crazy. i'm so horny right now"

Quote:SheWantsTheD Wrote:

Thing is, she was the one who wanted this. She is the one who said she would get a rush of a million emotions flooding her when she sees me. She is the one who said she's in love with me. She's the one who said the last time we had a fight she layed on the bathroom floor crying. It's all her, yet she's the one who seems to want to sabotage what we have going on over something as stupid as me telling her that I know she misses me rather than saying I miss her too
That's girls being girls. They want to feel everything, yes, including bad emotions, drama etc. It doesn't make sense to you cause you're a man.


Quote:SheWantsTheD Wrote:

How can we understand what thinking with emotions actually is? How do we define it so we can understand women better? That may be a good thread to start?

Read "the way of the superior man" and "men are from mars women are from venus".

In a nutshell, when a girl [any girl] tells you something try to focus on the emotion behind her words that she tries to convey, not the words that much. She just picks words that can express her feelings best, not the ones that describe actual facts.

For example, when she tells you "we never go out!" just day after you took her out to dinner it doesn't make sense right? But remember that you have to focus on the emotions, not the words themselves. She uses word NEVER not because you never take her out, but because she's pissed at you for some random reason [can be anything] and wants to emphasize her anger with that word. She may say any other thing that can do its job to express her anger better. She might say "You ALWAYS tell me what to do". Fact is, she likes that you lead but at this particular moment she says that bullshit just to express her frustrations usually completely unrelated to the fact that you sometimes tell her what to do. Get it?

Other example, when she tells you "i'm tired" you probably understand that she's physically fatigued and you're likely to tell her to go to bed and take a rest. Wrong. She's trying to tell you "i'm having some problems that overwhelm me and i don't know how to deal with, can we talk about this?". So you tell her "ok, come to me, tell me what's going on, talk to me" and you shut up and just listen WITHOUT offering any advice. Just listen. Then when she's done talking and she's happy that you listened to her in silence then you can start to ask "so what you want to do about it? have you thought about ..... ?". That's the way.

That's how girls communicate. Welcome to the real world [Image: amuse.gif]

PS. Remember that with girls it's all about the emotions. They don't care what you say and what you do, they just care how they feel around you. You can make her happy and mad back and forth in the same day and it's all good. It's all just temporary emotional state.

That's why you can text your girl "you bring that jerk out of me. it's crazy. i'm so horny right now", then "i miss you, what are you wearing right now?", then "I hate how you make me feel I never expected that from you". It makes no sense to you but it spikes different emotions and that's the whole point.

Girls... [Image: amuse.gif]
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#19

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Maybe you're a dick, but it's entirely possible that she's a thin-skinned bitch and you're just incompatible. One other thought, you're saying this your first "red pill" relationship, and you're talking about sealing the deal and getting serious? Isn't that like shacking up with the chick you lost your V-card to?

Reading this stuff, it sounds like she's stuck in a romance novel and she wants to conquer the heart of an alpha dog. If you're actually alpha, you're going to ask yourself "what do I want?" first. There are always other chicks.

I like XXL's advice here. Her emotions are your friend. Don't be scared of them. If the worst thing that happens in your life is having a chick get mad at you, you have no problems.
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#20

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Ok I've thought about this as you requested.

I'm not so sure I'm qualified to give you the right advice but. I'm nice to my girl if I feel she's doing what's best but I have my own moments like when were out and someone pisses me off and I tear in to them so I don't really need to think I cannot be myself or share my feelings. It's maybe something as long as you are a leader outside?

I want to kill everyone most the time maybe.
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#21

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Really, XXL's response is pretty on point. Additionally, I'd like to explain in this specific situation why she reacted that way. YES, it's about how she feels. Is it what you said? Likely. Is it something else entirely and what you said made her feel even worse? Also pretty likely!

Either way, you should understand that the reason she responded that way was because you essentially dismissed her telling you that she missed you. It's not that she necessarily wants to hear "Oh, I miss you too honey" or something fairly beta like that, it's that you squashed her thread and didn't replace it with anything that would take her emotions on a ride. You made them crash and burn.

Not that you should never give a response like that, but it's MUCH better delivered in person where your body language, the look on your face, etc... can make it come across much less sharp.

XXL gives some good possible responses that instead of crashing her texts with you, continues them, sexualizes them, are playful without being harsh. Essentially, they are better calibrated.

You shouldn't take her reactions that seriously. You should always reframe or segway into a new subject. These are much better options than backing down, or the opposite, which was to take her completely seriously and give her a sort of butthurt response.

You just need to calibrate a bit better and recognize that she's just looking for you to continue giving her those emotions she loves so much. You can cut back some on teasing her a lot, just never forget to slip it in at those opportune moments. You're obviously doing pretty solid otherwise if this quote is accurate:

Quote: (02-20-2014 03:41 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

I play the text game perfect per Roosh's rules, I've only paid for 2 dinners the entire time I've known her, she cooks for me, does anything I want in bed, always says stuff like I miss and love you first, etc.

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#22

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Android said something super important here I forgot mentioning.

Quote: (02-21-2014 07:44 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Either way, you should understand that the reason she responded that way was because you essentially dismissed her telling you that she missed you. It's not that she necessarily wants to hear "Oh, I miss you too honey" or something fairly beta like that, it's that you squashed her thread and didn't replace it with anything that would take her emotions on a ride. You made them crash and burn.

You should always reframe or segway into a new subject. These are much better options than backing down, or the opposite, which was to take her completely seriously and give her a sort of butthurt response.

Well said. Basically in case of emergency like when she gets cold/sad/mad/etc do not confront her logically ["so what's your problem woman?"] or try to resolve the problem offering her your solutions ["get some sleep"] or explain yourself ["I entered the house a second ago why do you blame me for your bad mood?"]. That will only frustrate her [but not in the good way] that you don't "get" her.

Instead, view her "problem" as some kind of energy coming at you that you have to take control of and shape it the way you want.

So.. the other day she told you she missed you and you said to her "of course you do." She said, "Wow, you're a jerk!" and got mad for some time. The problem here was that you basically told her "pff i know whatever" and left it like that. You told her something short that made her pissed and you left it like leaving her feeling pissed. So you did/say nothing more to take that energy and make something out of it. Get it?

Here are something I'd say using your line...

- of course you do. how can you not? do you even realize who i am? [cocky] do you even realize that all your girl friends are fucking pissed and jealous that we date? [jealousy] how does it feel to hang out with bunch of women that want to stab you in the fucking back for dating me? [competition] think about it for a second, look at the guys they date? [contrast] they must be pissed you date me..... [so you shape it in direction of 'look how fucking lucky you are that you're with me']

- of course you do. i love you when you miss me [appreciation]. you're such a sweetheart [compliment]. can you stay like that forever and never get mad again? you would be the man's dream girl [pull], you're almost there,[push] it's ok, you're getting there, i believe in you, come here [hug], mmm you're so soft [touch], why do we even leave our bed? [fun] it's so stupid i just to feel your body all day everyday... [so you shape it in the direction of lovey dovey vibe]

- of course you do. i miss you too [compliment]. everytime i miss you i know you miss me too [bit cocky]. it's amazing, we're like identical twins who feel the same thing at the same time, here when I pinch you I feel it too [funny], isn't it interesting? just don't ever cut yourself cause I don't want to have bunch of scars [dark humor] out of nowhere ok? [so you shape it in the direction of fun/humor]


It's like storytelling. I take what she says and expand on it painting the whole picture with my words scenarios gestures touch glances etc. That's how you work with whatever she gives you. It's like a clay, imagine the girl gives you bunch of clay and you can take it and start shaping it to make something pretty or ugly or weird or fun or lovely etc and engage her in that process so that when you finish she's in different place [emotionally].

When you try it you will see that nothing will faze you. You'll be like, "oh she's feeling THIS, ok, let's see what's up". I know it's weird for a man haha. At first you it feels like with girls you have to switch to emotional mode of communication to be able to see things you couldn't see using pure logical mode. With time you will feel subcommunications in the interactions 24/7.
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#23

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Holy shit fellas, thanks so much. You're all blowing my mind right now with these responses. I really am out of touch with how girls think. I even thought I was starting to understand, but I guess I was way off. I'm goo h to have to sit down and look at these responses closer.

Yeah it's my first relationship post red pill but I like having a GF honestly. It just suits my lifestyle better right now.

It's been 3 days and I still haven't heard from her. What should I do next? I really must have pissed her off. Should I call or text? I know this will sound beta but man it's getting harder and to not call or text her. What should I do.

And XXL thanks so much bro for trying to break it down. It's so crazy how different they think than we do. It's so foreign to me. I'd never have thought about it the way you broke it down. I've got a lot to learn still. Which one of those books would you recommend first? I've heard of Women are from Venus before, but it was so main stream I didn't think it could help?
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#24

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

nm
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#25

I'm confused here, should I be less alpha?

Quote: (02-22-2014 08:49 AM)RioNomad Wrote:  

nm

What were you going to say?
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