[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I would use my knowledge to become a high-level consultant/advisor for the royal family and build a respectable life for myself while helping my new country. However, I would probably end the same as poor Cardinal Wolsey.

[mental]

An easiest idea just occured to me: become a new God's prophet - with a decent knowledge of history, you could "predict" famines, wars, battles... Imagine all the competition between rulers - every one of them would be throwing their family under the carriages just to hire me for my advice, and with power comes wenches and courtisans...

[rudebwoy]

I think we are under-estimating our ancestors, I get the feeling they were alot stronger than we are today. I don't fancy living in mud huts or any place without central heating, I can handle the cold but I hate damp wet climates.
I suppose you would have to learn how to use a sword, I am assuming you can't bring a gun back in time with you.
I would gather a group of men together and tell them lavish stories about pussy paradises in the South Pacific, Caribbean and Philipines. Then I would steal a boat and set sail towards those same places.
If that didn't work, I would introduce them to chocolate and make a fortune and name some place after me.
Republic of Rudebwoy!

[Cincinnatus]

This thread makes me want to re-read Michael Crichton's sci-fi novel Timeline. Reading that was the first time I became aware of quantum physics, and it also made me want to learn a lot more about the Middle Ages.

[Truth Teller]

Hide my Jewish faith and prevent myself from being executed for witchcraft. However, since I'm literate and educated, I'm ahead of the majority of the population. I guess I'd become a doctor, since even my primitive medical knowledge is light years ahead of what was believed to be correct in the 16th century.

[samsamsam]

(01-25-2014 10:36 AM)Sailor Wrote:  

Would you Bang?

LOL, I bet she was prettier than a painting. I probably would.

OP: Awesome idea/share.

The funny thing back then was people were skinny since food wasn't abundant. Being fat was a sign of prosperity. A guy going back to then would be in vagina heaven, but the chicks were clearly not as loose as they are now.

I don't think property laws were nearly as well established as they are now. Everything was done with the might is right concept.

So whatever I did to make a fortune and gather power it would be operating under a strategy of stealth and gathering resources for armed conflict. So do something to make a lot of money to then resource weapons (gatling gun anyone?) to be able to protect the wealth created. So many ways to make money with knowledge from today. The only issue is that you couldn't go straight to the iPad. You'd need to be able to do things that could be created out of the known technology/resources at the time. To get to your end creation, you might have to create a few of the things needed to make the end creation.

But knoweledge about medicine and hygiene and the body could probably be easily implemented.

The kerosene lamp was introduced in the 1850s. Bring that forward a few hundred years.

I'd lock up all the known oil finds (but that would be difficult with such poor property laws and America having just been barely discovered).

But with all the new found/created wealth and advanced weapons, I would treat everyone well. People don't mind being ruled or led. But they don't appreciate being fucked with or disrespected or mistreated. If I could set aside my ego and think of the common good, it could be good times in the 1500s.

At least the chicks were thinner and probably more feminine.

[Parlay44]

First thing I'd invent would be the toilet followed closely by indoor plumbing. The whole idea of people using bed pans and tossing the contents out the window into the streets is craziness to me. I need a certain standard of living.

[Jackreacher]

Hitch a ride to London. Find the easiest form of work a foreigner can get then quickly try to secure an apprenticeship with a local carpenter(to fit in with the religious nuts). Save up money to flee the country. Land in the United States(assuming I survive the trip), secure deals with plantation owners for sugar, citrus, cinnamon, vanilla and corn. Begin making coca cola and selling it world wide. With vast wealth, power and knowledge of the past begin creating a polygamous offshoot of christianity puting myself as the central figure with prophetic sermons of what will come to pass until enough influence is created to form a sizable harem. Develop books espousing the end of days when women start taking men for granted, cutting their hair short, becoming fat and more manly.

That or possibly die of the Black plague or a duel with a master swordsman or hanged for my heathen ways.

[Quintus Curtius]

Flights of fancy, I think.

More realistically, if a modern man were suddenly to appear on the scene in rural England in the 1500s, he would either be quickly killed, have to resort to brigandage to avoid starvation, or would go insane.

In the first place, you wouldn't even be able to make yourself understood without some difficulty (read Shakespeare, Marlowe, and Chaucer if you don't believe me). A stranger's accent and weird lexicon would mark him as an outsider, and in those illiterate days, that was dangerous. Belief in magic and witchcraft was widespread. You would be a marked man.

Secondly, in those days you couldn't just "rise to the top". You needed to apprentice to a master, you needed family references, and you needed some sort of clan lineage to identity your background. Without that, you were doomed. Just to avoid starvation, you would be lucky to get a job as a farm hand, a foot-soldier in the King's army, or a peasant scything wheat in the fields and pretending to believe the nonsense prattled to you from other peasants.

Religion would also be a big problem. The Reformation didn't really pick up steam until the 1520s, but you would need to know whom you were talking to and what region you were in. England in the late 1500s was afire with religious conflict, persecutions, and confiscations, and one wrong or injudicious statement could land you in the Tower. Or the chopping block.

On the positive side, communications were spotty in those days, and a man with wits and cunning could make a new life for himself with a bit of luck. He might be able to talk his way aboard a merchant vessel, and see a bit of the world. He might make his way to London and find a bit of useful work here and there.

If he were really ambitious, he could enter the ecclesiastical arena, which was a big road of advancement in those days to poor lads. It didn't require any money, either. All you needed to do was learn Latin and the required rituals, and you could go from there.

But when all is said and done, he'd be lucky to survive.

[Hotwheels]

Read a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court for a roadmap.

[Cincinnatus]

(01-25-2014 01:34 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

If he were really ambitious, he could enter the ecclesiastical arena, which was a big road of advancement in those days to poor lads. It didn't require any money, either. All you needed to do was learn Latin and the required rituals, and you could go from there.

At the point in time being discussed, members of the clergy were also allowed to marry and have children, right?

[Brodiaga]

(01-25-2014 01:21 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

At least the chicks were thinner and probably more feminine.

My history teacher told me that people used to be uglier in previous centuries. While this is one person's opinion, pretty much everything I've seen - from old photographs to paintings - confirms it.

[AnonymousBosch]

(01-25-2014 11:34 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Well, first off you're going to have to learn how to speak English all over again. Failing that you'll surely end up arrested for being some sort of spy. But that's a boring answer...

In the 1500's, some whilst some parts of the country exposed to the printing press are speaking Early Modern English, some parts are still riding out the dying days of Middle English, which sounds like this:

[Duke Castile]

(01-25-2014 01:05 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

I think we are under-estimating our ancestors, I get the feeling they were alot stronger than we are today. I don't fancy living in mud huts or any place without central heating, I can handle the cold but I hate damp wet climates.
I suppose you would have to learn how to use a sword, I am assuming you can't bring a gun back in time with you.
I would gather a group of men together and tell them lavish stories about pussy paradises in the South Pacific, Caribbean and Philipines. Then I would steal a boat and set sail towards those same places.
If that didn't work, I would introduce them to chocolate and make a fortune and name some place after me.
Republic of Rudebwoy!

I think you're forgetting that the reason a lot of those countries have hot women in the present is because the Spanish went and fucked the hell out of those places.

Based on what I saw in Peru, I want no part of those lands prior to that besides gold and jewels.

Which reminds me, we all still know the basic locations of gold and other commodities.

[mental]

(01-25-2014 01:54 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

(01-25-2014 01:21 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

At least the chicks were thinner and probably more feminine.

My history teacher told me that people used to be uglier in previous centuries. While this is one person's opinion, pretty much everything I've seen - from old photographs to paintings - confirms it.

That means there are almost no girls who are 8's and above?
Which means you'll be the pickiest man in history, thus making your game much more massive...
On the other hand, when there are only 6's and 5's with an occasional 7 you may get timesick...

[Aliblahba]

I'd bust the castle door down with a Javelin missile, walk in and put a .45 round right through Henry the VIII's brain housing group. Then I'd rape the fuck outta Catherine (I'm king now so its legal btw). After I knocked her ugly ass up, she'd be sent to tell the molesting ass pope that being Catholic is now illegal and he better stop. I'll kill him anyways. After that and shooting some more important people, I'd raise and army to raid Europe of all their good booze and women. Like about 1000 at least of the best talent they had.

Shit would get real when I fucked up the vikings with some sticks of dynamite, then make their heathen asses build me a big ass yacht with a scary dragon head on the front. Now I'd pack up all my mead and bitches, and sail on down to Greece to enjoy a life of impregnating ho's, getting fucked up, eating calamari, and scuba diving.

Time travel game recognized.

[Cincinnatus]

(01-25-2014 02:05 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

I'd bust the castle door down with a Javelin missile, walk in and put a .45 round right through Henry the VIII's brain housing group. Then I'd rape the fuck outta Catherine (I'm king now so its legal btw). After I knocked her ugly ass up, she'd be sent to tell the molesting ass pope that being Catholic is now illegal and he better stop. I'll kill him anyways. After that and shooting some more important people, I'd raise and army to raid Europe of all their good booze and women. Like about 1000 at least of the best talent they had.

Shit would get real when I fucked up the vikings with some sticks of dynamite, then make their heathen asses build me a big ass yacht with a scary dragon head on the front. Now I'd pack up all my mead and bitches, and sail on down to Greece to enjoy a life of impregnating ho's, getting fucked up, eating calamari, and scuba diving.

Time travel game recognized.

[soup]

I could do exactly what I'm doing now- play guitar.

[Quintus Curtius]

(01-25-2014 10:48 AM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

First order of business would be to track down and fucking kill all ancestors of Piers Morgan.

Yessssssss....
The return of the Blahba....!!!

[Veloce]

Quintius is pretty on-point.

If you were just dropped in 16th century England without warning, your first priority would be finding some sort of larder or invading someone's home, stealing whatever food and clothing they have, and survive on the outskirts of town as a bandit and formulate a strategy from there, hoping you don't get eaten by the Hound of the Baskervilles.

But yeah if you had some prior preparation, you could presumably be a god amongst men. Your first priority would be getting an audience with the local lord and teach him some advanced military tactics and technology (rifles, magazines, guerilla warfare). Then when he holds you in good favor, you could pull all kinds of insane shit. I would give him a huge advantage over his opponents initially but make sure to keep the good shit to myself, doling out new tactics to him every year. I'd become the general of his army and in our conquests of foreign lands I'd send a cart through the ravaged territory, collecting their helpless virgins and bring them back to my tower and lay them on my bed of peacock feathers.

In the meantime, I'd consult with the local alchemist to isolate baking soda, the chef to ferment apple cider vinegar, and the blacksmith to construct a squat rack.

My primary war campaign would be against Livonia and Moldavia, to secure my supply of premium medieval Eastern European pussy.

[Quintus Curtius]

(01-25-2014 01:52 PM)MSW2007 Wrote:  

(01-25-2014 01:34 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

If he were really ambitious, he could enter the ecclesiastical arena, which was a big road of advancement in those days to poor lads. It didn't require any money, either. All you needed to do was learn Latin and the required rituals, and you could go from there.

At the point in time being discussed, members of the clergy were also allowed to marry and have children, right?

Interesting question.

Without looking it up in the books for precise dates, I believe clerical celibacy in the Roman rite (Latin Christendom) did not become the rule until the early Middle Ages or so. Before that, Catholic clerics (except the monastic orders) were not forbidden to remain married as long as they were married before taking holy orders.

In Greek Orthodox Christendom, I believe that clerics (outside of the monastic orders) could remain married as long as they were married before becoming priests. Most of the other Eastern rites of the Church (Maronites, Melkits, Nestorians, Chaldeans, etc) follow the same rule.

Of course, in practice, these rules were not strictly enforced in those lusty days. It was common practice for village priests, bishops, cardinals, etc. to have affairs with women. Concubines were common.

After the Reformation, Protestant clerics of all types were permitted to marry, as far as I know. Luther himself was married, as were most of the early Protestant fathers (Calvin, etc).

[samsamsam]

(01-25-2014 02:05 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

I'd bust the castle door down with a Javelin missile, walk in and put a .45 round right through Henry the VIII's brain housing group. Then I'd rape the fuck outta Catherine (I'm king now so its legal btw). After I knocked her ugly ass up, she'd be sent to tell the molesting ass pope that being Catholic is now illegal and he better stop. I'll kill him anyways. After that and shooting some more important people, I'd raise and army to raid Europe of all their good booze and women. Like about 1000 at least of the best talent they had.

Shit would get real when I fucked up the vikings with some sticks of dynamite, then make their heathen asses build me a big ass yacht with a scary dragon head on the front. Now I'd pack up all my mead and bitches, and sail on down to Greece to enjoy a life of impregnating ho's, getting fucked up, eating calamari, and scuba diving.

Time travel game recognized.

Jackass...OP said to bring your knowledge, he didn't say bring modern day weaponry. I think Fisto was right.

Welcome back Ali!

[Quintus Curtius]

My strategy would be the following, since we're playing fantasy here. But it is a pleasant fantasy: Escape to the New World.

Remember, Cortes conquered Mexico in 1520 or so. The whole region was opening up to anyone who was ambitious and resourceful. If you could stay alive, that is.

I would try to get to the coast of England (or Ireland) and make way for Spain. Wasn't easy in those days, as Spain and England were ferocious enemies. But if you could pull it off, you could try to sign up aboard a Spanish colonial vessel and head for the New World (Cuba, Mexico, etc). A resourceful man might be able to enter the tobacco cultivation business, mining for precious metals, the army, or some other agricultural enterprise.

With some luck, you could own your own land pretty quickly, and become a man of property. Much more opportunities in the New World colonies than in the Old World....

[Aliblahba]

(01-25-2014 02:23 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

Jackass...OP said to bring your knowledge, he didn't say bring modern day weaponry. I think Fisto was right.

Welcome back Ali!

What kind of Marine would volunteer to get dropped in behind enemy lines without weapons? Semper Fi!

[AnonymousBosch]

(01-25-2014 02:07 PM)soup Wrote:  

I could do exactly what I'm doing now- play guitar.

Except it'd be a precursor to the classical guitar. Maybe 3 or 4 strings with a different tuning, and the music you would play would be modal, rather than using the modern scale, which would probably strike listeners as 'wrong'.

Accidentally play a tritone in the wrong company and the concept of diabolus in musica risks you being burnt as a heretic.

Fun times all 'round.