[pants]

I have had anxiety for years now. For some time periods more than others.

There is really nothing in my life to worry about either, that´s the worst part.
I´m 6,4, earn 100k more in a year, good friends, good family, live in a part of the world with low crime and I know I´ll be taken good care of no matter what happens to me, apart from anxiety I have good health also.

Even though most things in my life are great I still feel a lot of if from time to time. Close my eyes in quiet room and there is a lot of unrest in my body.

Things I´ve tried with some success is therapy, group therapy, meditation, medication, but I´m still not all the way where I want to be.

Things that work, but only for a short while are working out and getting a good night of sleep.

So I turn to rooshvforum, anyone have some good tips to share about anxiety?

[MidniteSpecial]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/193048514X

[Beyond Borders]

Do you regularly use any types of addictive substances? Alcohol, nicotine, or drugs of any kind?

Other than that, you seem to have ruled out poor health and the possibility of an unknown illness, which would have been my first guess. But while you mentioned your life is satisfying and seems good on the surface, you haven't mentioned anything about happiness or having a sense of purpose. Could that be the issue? I know sometimes when I stagnate I have problems getting out of my own head and worry the time is slipping away.

A man needs to feel like there's a reason behind his daily life.

[MidniteSpecial]

Do you wake up to an alarm clock?

[pants]

I use nicotine, and coffee. I should stop that but even in periods when I do, i sill have anxiety.

Something that helps is working outside in more of a construction style job. Sitting inside the cubicle at work is defiantly not good for me. Long term I´m planning of quitting, but I just feel like I need to continue for a few more months to gain some experience.

I´m not very happy, not depressed, but could defiantly be happier. Used to be happy as a kid. I had a very stressful period in my life. The thing about stress is as long you don´t bury yourself in stress, its easy to come back. But if you get to deep, pulling your self out can be really difficult.

As far as purpose goes, i have ideas and plans I would like to realize. But need more money to complete them. Until then I feel like I need to continue with my lifestyle.

Something that gives me back is helping others. I´m considering starting in a volunteering job, or sign up to be a big brother. Help out a teenage kid would be inspiring.

[Sawyer]

Martial arts forces you to face justifiable anxiety every class (the anxiety of hand-to-hand combat). Every class you need to face real fears. It makes the lesser, unjustifiable anxieties disappear. Find a school near you, the rougher the better.

[pants]

Monday - Friday, alarm clock is the only way I wake up.

Marshal arts are also something I´ve tried with some success in battling anxiety. Thinking of maybe take it further, go some real fight would be cool.

[K Galt]

THE first place anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety needs to look at, is their diet. More specifically the balance of Omega fatty acids.

In most cases, you need to reduce your intake of Omega 6 fatty acids and increase your intake of Omega 3 fatty acids.

Avoid eating commercially fried foods, don't cook with "vegetable" oil (aka soybean, canola, safflower, cottonseed oil), and try and increase your intake of seafood. Small, oily fish are also full of Omega 3 fatty acids - sardines, anchovies etc. Wild Salmon is also a great source (but make sure it's wild caught, as farmed Salmon are fed soy feed, which is a large source of Omega 6 fatty acids).

You can also try and start taking fish oil supplements.

You can also try cutting out wheat gluten from your diet...as wheat flours effects on overall health has been implicated in a number of diseases and conditions. When going gluten free though, it can take up to a month or so before you feel any benefits from cutting it out of your diet.

Finally, another great way to improve your diet is to incorporate bone broth soup.

If this sounds like too much work and effort...you can always just go to the Doctors. They'll be happy to prescribe you a wide array of Big Pharma's best and most profitable anti-depression meds...

[Beyond Borders]

(12-23-2013 03:25 PM)pants Wrote:  

I use nicotine, and coffee. I should stop that but even in periods when I do, i sill have anxiety.

How long are these periods?

Quote:

As far as purpose goes, i have ideas and plans I would like to realize. But need more money to complete them. Until then I feel like I need to continue with my lifestyle.

Beyond health factors, I would look here if I were you. I think this is how many people feel and it gives them the sense of being on a hamster wheel or going in circles. Nothing makes life seem more pointless than always putting off what you want for some undetermined future that seems to slip further and further into the distance as you move towards it...

And while I have no clue what your goals are, the idea that you need money first is usually a myth. No time is ever perfect for the big things in life.

Sit in a chair for a few hours and break it down - be as honest and practical as possible. Is it really imperative to have the money to complete these goals? Or is there a way you could bootstrap it? A small step you could take everyday to work towards it over time?

Or is there a way you could alter your goals so you could achieve the same type of purpose in a different manner?

Has anyone accomplished these things without starting out with a wad of cash or being "financially secure?

I think not having money is the main reason most people put off doing the things they really want to do. And the sad thing is that since material wants grow in direct proportion to your wealth, it's a problem that will never go away on its own. Even when you make more money it'll seem like there's not quite enough.

Do your best to determine if there's a way to accomplish your goals without money and get started. Or at least put together a proactive savings plan. If the money comes while you're working, well, all the better. But you'll get there either way sooner or later.

And whether money is an absolutely requirement or not, read think and grow rich.

Quote:

Something that gives me back is helping others. I´m considering starting in a volunteering job, or sign up to be a big brother. Help out a teenage kid would be inspiring.

Sounds like a great idea!

[MidniteSpecial]

Cut the alarm clock out. But most importantly cut the coffee and replace it with green tea. For good. Not for short periods of time. Only time I ever got anxiety in my life was drinking coffee.

[MidniteSpecial]

Or get one of those alarm clocks that wake you up soothingly. Or wake up to bob marley. Those robot sound alarm clocks are for the birds.

[The Lizard of Oz]

pants, there are a few things you should do.

1. First, I think you should follow up on what you wrote in the drinking wagon thread a while back:

(12-01-2013 05:35 PM)pants Wrote:  

Without hijacking your spirits, I´m in for January, and not only quit drinking, but no tobacco, no fast food, no late night staying up in front of the computer. I actually think the one about good sleeping patterns is a huge one.

And at the same time i plan doing serious training for a month. I might even throw in some yoga!

Lol, classic new years, But I have done it before, and It really makes a difference.

So I am 1/12 in, and maybe I will extend it from there.

Depressants like alcohol (as well as stimulants like caffeine) are terrible for the anxious brain -- they can feel good in the short term but they really mess with you over time. You should cut them out.

2. Follow CBT/REBT modalities for treating the anxiety. There is overwhelming evidence from well-designed studies that CBT is more effective in treating anxiety and depression than medications, in addition to not having their very nasty side effects. Here is probably the best online CBT resource:

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Also check out Dusty's REBT thread on the forum:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-28873.html

If you can find a good CBT/REBT therapist in your area and feel like doing that, it might be a good idea as well.

3. Consider getting a 10,000 lux light box to regularize your sleeping schedule. I recommend this one:

http://sunbox.com/product/sunlight-jr-2/

Again, there is very strong evidence for bright light therapy to counteract depression and anxiety, especially (but not exclusively) in the winter months, and to improve the overall quality and consistency of your sleep.

You use it every morning shortly after you wake up for about 30 minutes at 10,000 lux at the indicated distance.

Feel free to PM me with questions about any of these.

[pants]

Yes, there are several angels I will start working in 2014.

-Get some friends on a deeper level.
-Some regular girls I can nail every week. Truth is i have not gotten laid in 3 months now. I can direct 40% of my anxiety in that direction.
-Move into a more private apartment. Right now I rent a bedroom in a house. Not exactly private. Would be nice to have a place I could really unwind after a day working.
- Need to learn how to express myself better. I hardly ever get mad at people or demand anything. Lots of emotions are just bottled up.

Reason for this thread was more to hear from people suffering, and what actions they took to get out of it.

Appreciate the advice given so far, many things I will put on my schedule for 2014!

[Giovonny]

I beat anxiety.

For me, the biggest keys were:

- Psychedelic Plants (magic mushrooms, mdma, cannabis)

- Facing my fears

- Approaching women everyday

- Yoga

- Meditation

- Living a life true to myself as opposed to doing what society expects.

- Forgiving those that wronged me

- Nature

- Educating myself on how the brain/mind work

(12-23-2013 03:53 PM)pants Wrote:  

-Move into a more private apartment.

Yes.

Privacy and space are really important.

(12-23-2013 03:53 PM)pants Wrote:  

- Need to learn how to express myself better.

This is so important. Yet, most people never talk about.

Expressing yourself authentically is releasing anxiety.

*****

I have a question for you..

What is the source of your anxiety?

What are you scared of?

[The Lizard of Oz]

(12-23-2013 03:53 PM)pants Wrote:  

Yes, there are several angels I will start working in 2014.

-Get some friends on a deeper level.
-Some regular girls I can nail every week. Truth is i have not gotten laid in 3 months now. I can direct 40% of my anxiety in that direction.
-Move into a more private apartment. Right now I rent a bedroom in a house. Not exactly private. Would be nice to have a place I could really unwind after a day working.
- Need to learn how to express myself better. I hardly ever get mad at people or demand anything. Lots of emotions are just bottled up.

Reason for this thread was more to hear from people suffering, and what actions they took to get out of it.

Appreciate the advice given so far, many things I will put on my schedule for 2014!

One more thing: the above all sounds good, but it's also important not to overwhelm yourself with excessive expectations about what you hope to accomplish.

Part of anxiety is trying to solve your problems all at once, then feeling let down if some of these goals are not immediately reached, then feeling anxious about that, in turn, and so on. A vicious cycle.

Instead, you should accept that the anxiety is something that is likely to be around for a while, and that it is not a catastrophe -- it is an annoying problem that you can live with, and with some effort, improve over time but maybe never completely eliminate. Don't make yourself more anxious or beat yourself up because you've decided that you must eliminate anxiety, yet you still have it. This happens to anxious people all the time. By the way, this is one of the most basic lessons that CBT would teach you.

Bottom line, take some rational steps that are likely to reduce your anxiety over time, but also don't expect it to be gone overnight and don't worry or stress about it still being there. You can still enjoy your life even with some anxiety, though you'll certainly enjoy it even more once it is reduced.

[pants]

What is the source of your anxiety?
I come from a home where people really hold back on their emotions and don´t really speak their mind. So often it feels like there tons of tension in the air. I think growing up in these conditions was not that healthy. My role models in handling emotions were not that good, and my family often focus on "bigger better". Hard time to be pleased with average.


What are you scared of?

Express my self. I often feel like i have to dial it down a notch. As a big dude I often feel like I can scare other people, and then I have to dial down my emotions.

Magic mushrooms. How did they help you? I was really curious when I hung out in Bali trying some. But i was really scared they were gonna fuck me up more. If I find myself in an environment with really close good friends this is something I would like to try in the future.

Girls; I had some girls really messing with my head some years while I was a teenager. There was this one girl who first were really in to me with lots of social powers, then she flipped and turned a group of girls against me.
I tried to forgive and forget them, but I still find myself holding negative emotions towards them. Felt good to see the main one get her child taken away from her.




When I step out of my shell and approach and start expression myself my anxiety gets a lot better. But if I don´t keep it up it will be back in only a few days.

[Teedub]

Anxiety is truly a first world problem. However, I say that not as a man condescending you, but one who relates. I have crippling anxiety when it comes to eating in public (with strangers or people I only know a bit), which makes dinner dates problematic. I even get it with people I know well, depending on my mood.

I know where it comes from, but it's a long story. I've had it since I was a child. I also think I have an overactive adrenaline gland.

The best way I know is exercise. You need to burn all the adrenaline that would otherwise be used in the 'fight or flight' response that comes with anxiety. Routine helps also.

[All or Nothing]

(12-23-2013 03:53 PM)pants Wrote:  

Reason for this thread was more to hear from people suffering, and what actions they took to get out of it.

I used to have severe anxiety and I have resolved it for the most part.

Resolving anxiety comes down to two things:
1. Mindset
2. Action

Mindset is the most important part of resolving anxiety problems. The first thing you need to do is stop telling yourself you have anxiety problems. This is really important because by believing that you have anxiety problems, you perpetuate that belief system. I would say the biggest part of the mindset is learning to let go and realize that most things in life are not that big of a deal.

I think the most critical part of this is living in the present moment and realizing that failure is not that big of a deal, it is only a temporary roadblock.

Here are a couple quotes I read daily that helped me reach this mindset:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha

"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do.'" –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Writing down positive affirmations everyday can also play a big part in this. An example of this would be writing down something as simple as: "I am calm. I am at peace with myself. Everything in life is as it should be." can really help ingrain in your mind a new belief system. A belief system where you believe you are a calm, relaxed individual rather than a nervous wreck.

The last thing is reading literature that promotes stress management. I know books have already been suggested. These two have helped me:

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Zebras-Dont-Ul...get+ulcers

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Rational-Liv...nal+living

Action is the second most important part of this.

Obviously, eating healthy and working out helps a lot. Sleeping well helps too.

Approaching girls stone cold sober during the day helped me resolve a lot of my anxiety this year.

You have to start doing things you are afraid to do until the world progressively starts become less of an intimidating place.

Ultimately, be positive and challenge yourself. It can't be solved in one day, but if you work on it it can be resolved.

[Dusty]

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

What is the source of your anxiety?
I come from a home where people really hold back on their emotions and don´t really speak their mind. So often it feels like there tons of tension in the air. I think growing up in these conditions was not that healthy. My role models in handling emotions were not that good, and my family often focus on "bigger better". Hard time to be pleased with average.

Yeah, how we grew up can kind of screw us up. But the good news is you're an adult, and you don't have to listen to your family any more and don't have to buy into their lessons. A family is not a tyrannical dictatorship that you can't escape (unless you're a child and can't take care of yourself). You can learn to be more assertive with your family, throw off the chains, and live how you want to. Physical distance helps. I live over 2000 miles from my family - I like it that way.

You can learn new social skills and assertiveness skills.

What are you scared of?

Quote:

Express my self. I often feel like i have to dial it down a notch. As a big dude I often feel like I can scare other people, and then I have to dial down my emotions.

So what. You have every right in the world to express yourself like every other person does. Besides, being big and intimidating has a lot of advantages. You probably cause a lot of gina tingles and and don't even realize it. You have natural built-in pea-cocking. A good friend of mine is 6'4". When we walk into a bar, everyone stops and looks at him. He tells me he feels like he's providing a freak show for everyone - I tell him he's looking at it all wrong, he's getting attention just by being him.

Seems to me from limited information provided here, you feel like you have to tip toe through life on eggshells because of your size. My friend is like that too. Learning assertiveness and understanding you have a right to express yourself just like everyone else will go a long way in helping your anxiety. Assertiveness is different from aggressive, a lot of people confuse the two.

Here's a good book on assertiveness. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Perfect-Right...and+emmons

[Giovonny]

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

What is the source of your anxiety?
I come from a home where people really hold back on their emotions

Hmmm...

So, you have anxiety because the people who raised you didn't express their emotions..

That's fascinating to me!

Your brain was wired in such a way that leads to anxiety.

You need to re-wire your brain.

This is a complex project that will take years.

Start now.

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

What are you scared of?

Express my self. I often feel like i have to dial it down a notch.

You are afraid to express yourself?

Not good.

Begin expressing yourself immediately!

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

Magic mushrooms. How did they help you?

They allowed me to see what my anxiety was..

A figment of my own imagination/ego, that became a thought pattern.

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

Felt good to see the main one get her child taken away from her.

Lol!

Now, you are expressing yourself freely!

Keep it up!

(12-23-2013 04:43 PM)pants Wrote:  

When I step out of my shell and approach and start expression myself my anxiety gets a lot better. But if I don´t keep it up it will be back in only a few days.

So, you know what you must do.

Work on this everyday.

Taking days off is a recipe for failure.

Enertia/momentum is big in all of this.

[Beyond Borders]

This thread needs a fucking group hug.

[Ubietza]

Man, can't say how correct Giovanny is. I'd say psychedelics are a big part, if not the missing key, to unraveling the maladies of the mind.

[Jaydublin]

If you feel like you are having trouble speaking up at times look into the book 'No More Mr Nice Guy' I found it pretty helpful

[Beyond Borders]

(12-23-2013 05:22 PM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

If you feel like you are having trouble speaking up at times look into the book 'No More Mr Nice Guy' I found it pretty helpful

How life-changing is this book? I've heard a lot of people rant about it.

I've been thinking of reading it, but more importantly, I'm thinking about buying it for my brother for Christmas. He's the coolest guy but such a fucking push-over when it comes to women and is always doing shit for people only to get trampled on. He just ended up single again recently and is in self-destructive, depression mode.

He's not the most open to new ideas, but he's intelligent and likes to read, so if it's an earth-shattering book I could see him getting the message. If I just preached him the gospel, on the other hand, no way he would listen. And I think he's kind of searching for answers at the moment, so...

I know, I know - "saving people" is a lost cause. But I haven't given up on him getting a wake-up call. I honestly worry he's going to eventually commit suicide someday if he doesn't come around. He's bitter as fuck and has yet to see that it's his own behavior that always gets him kicked around in life.

I've got to try something.

[birdrussell]

I'm not sure how exactly how I came out of my fog but it wasn't through any of the very good advice given so far. I worked out though and took hobbies that took my mind off of the stuff that was bothering me. If you're making over 100k a year I can assume your job is stressful. I don't recommend you quit at all but you have to find a power over it. I made half a bit less than of that working in the navy at sea 16 hour days 7 days a week and at a certain point I just decided to drop out of the rat race. I do my job to the best of my ability but I just got feed up with trying to please people. That shit is beta as fuck any way. When somebody tied to give me shit I would just either tell them to fuck off or do my job better than me (respect where respect was due if I was talking to a superior). Most of the time people couldn't touch me any way because I am good at my job. I hope this helps.