[Patriarch]

Do any of you guys ever find yourselves in a situation where you just had to intervene, even if it wasn't really your business? Some situation that you couldn't just pass up because of someone else being an absolute sack of shit?

I was just at a Vietnamese restaurant waiting for my friend. I get seated at a booth next to this hood rat couple and I can tell immediately it's not going to be a good time. After ten minutes, I've listened to them bitch at and demean almost everyone who works there. To summarize their harrowing ordeal, the manager had the GALL to refuse to take their appetizer of dumplings off their bill. They had eaten 5 of 7, and sent them back because they didn't like them... Are you fucking kidding me?

Then, after they had bitched their way into 50 percent off their entire meal and paid, they are STILL sitting around raising hell with the staff. At this point I turned around, raised my head over the booth, and calmly said "Can you all keep your bitching down? I'm trying to enjoy myself." The woman loses her shit, ir whatever shit she has left, and screams for me to repeat myself, which I do. I turn around and start texting while she spews every profanity under the sun at me. She ends with "motherfucker you better not turn back around, that's how people get killed." so of course I turn back around, look the guy in the eyes and tell him he has got some crazy bitch there, and turns back around. She jumps out of her seat and starts waving her hands around like one of those inflatable things you see at car dealerships. Her husband grabs her and says something I can assume was tough guy talk, but not loud enough for me to hear. They sit here for five more minutes talking really loudly about how bad the service is here and what an asshole piece of shit bitch I am, then they finally get up to leave and toss out another string of profanities directed towards me, to which I wink and smile at them and say "have a merry Christmas."

I felt good for doing this since I love this place and I've eaten here four times since they opened a few weeks ago, and the manager and some of the waiters/waitresses came over to apologize and thank me afterwards. I just think it's bull shit that people are continuously rewarded for shitty behavior, and I know these people are probably still complaining about me throughout the evening. Maybe I overreacted, but do you all have any similar encounters?

[Christian McQueen]

I do this all the time.

If someone else's behavior is encroaching on your piece of mind then yes step up.

That being said, pick your battles wisely. It's also a great way to get shot in the parking lot.

Another option is to tell your waiter you'd like a different table away from the contentious cheap fucks.

[ryanf]

Whether or not it's alpha, I just usually stay out of it. It does nothing to benefit me, and because of white knighting, you risk a real fight (possible weapon situation). Fights seem fun when we are all in BJJ or MT, but real fights usually end in arrests, court, jail time, etc. I just wouldn't say worth it.

Having said that, kudos for having balls to do it. I wouldn't recommend it, but good on you anyway.

[Duke Castile]

I think you did the right thing. I hate people like that and it would be hard for me to sit there and say nothing.

White knighting is when a guy tries to ingratiate himself by heeding some woman's call for help.

That's not what this was.

Also agree with McQueen. Ask to be seated away from them where they can hear you.

[MrXY]

I go out of my way to avoid any interaction much less confrontation with people who are clearly ghetto culture types. (source:many years of experience living in cities with large ghetto populations).

You're dealing with people who usually have sub 80 IQs, who act on impulse with little thought for consequences, often have criminal records and quickly resort to threats and violence. You're putting yourself in a position where you may have to defend yourself and end up like George Zimmerman; it's just not worth it. If they were really bothering me I would have got my food to go and left, not white knighted for the restaurant staff; they can call the cops if they want to.

Other wise you can end up in situations like this

I could go on and on posting these videos-I hope you get the idea....

[wi30]

It all depends on the situation. I think you read it correctly.

I'm from a smaller city with a low crime rate. Most people who try to act tough are clearly bluffing and back down the second you speak up. I would have called them out as well if it was a restaurant in one of my neighborhoods.

I wouldn't try some of the shit I pull off if I was in the inner city though. As McQueen said, it's all about picking your battles.



Also, this should probably be in the Everything Else section.

[Patriarch]

Loud and clear. Am I able to move it to the other section? And I live in the suburbs; the guy wasn't thug at all, unfortunately I lumped him together with his woman because she was acting like a lunatic. Trust me, I would have moved if there was another table. Places is small.

[AntiTrace]

Of course you did the right thing.

That behavior should not be tolerated anywhere. You dont need to look for fights, but sometimes you gotta check someones attitude.

Quick Story:

i was in bumper to bumper traffic on a two lane road. A car, driven by a mid 50s woman and her slightly younger husband, was in the oncoming lane and was trying to turn left into a small store. The SUV in front me of, driven by an elderly woman, did not leave them room to turn through our lane.

The husband loses his shit. He rolled his window down and was screaming profanities non stop while varying between pointing at her and flipping her off. The old lady, realized this, tried to do whatever she could to make just a little more room for them to fit through. But she really couldn't move more than a couple of inches in the bumper to bumper traffic.

After about two minutes of this guy taking out his entire lives worth of anger on the elderly lady, traffic finally moves enough for the car to get through. Since I was right behind the SUV I was seriously considering jumping forward and blocking his way again, just to piss the old bastard off even more. But I figured there's no need to make the situation any worse and let him through.

The park in the parking lot right next to our lane. Now the guy jumps out his car. The wife runs in the store to get away from the guy. The guy runs up to the sidewalk paralleling our lane and again goes right up against the elderly womans window to scream, point, and flip her off some more.

Now, I have a PA system on my rig. So at this point I fire up my PA, turn it up as loud as it can go, roll down my window and lean out with the microphone (I wanted it to be obvious who was talking to him through the PA).

I told him in a calm tone:

"Bro, it's not worth it. Just take a deep breath, chill out, and walk away"
"shut the fuck up faggot" him
"Your making a scene. Your wife ran away because she was so embarrassed. That woman is probably in tears. Just walk away"
"I'll kick your fucking ass if you dont start minding your own business" him
"Careful now, don't use words you aren't willing to stand behind"

He turns away from the elderly womans and puffs his chest out a bit, raises both his arms and flips me off.

"Easy to talk shit from in your car! Get out of your car you fucking pussy! I'll introduce your face to the curb" - him

This dude is late 40s, early 50s. I was mid 20s and had about 40 lbs on him. I had no intention to beat down a baby boomer, regardless of the curb stomping threat, but I was at least going to call his bluff.

I step out of my truck. I glance around at the cars backed up in traffic, smart phones and cameras are starting to come out. I walk up to the hood of my truck, about 15 feet away from the guy and just stand there.

"Think carefully about what you do next" I calmly tell him

He yells some more expletives and retreats away back towards the store his wife went into. Flipping me off in the process.

Traffic starts to move again. I look into the window of the SUV real fast and hand signal to woman asking if she is ok. She puts her hand together like she is praying and mouths "thank you." I get back my in my truck and go on my merry way with a funny little story to tell.

[birdrussell]

I can't find any fault in what you did. It sounds alpha as you needed to be. People were encroaching on your piece of mind in a place that you like to frequent. You checked them. Bitch had so much shit to say. You let the guy know to put her on a leash but they said one thing and then talked a bit of shit then left. That was the result you were looking for right? I think you handeled it better than I would have. I was at a show in New Orleans one time and some shit went down like this. I checked the woman then I looked at the dude she was, with just looked. He said he was sorry and dragged the the bitch back 3 feet (we were in a crowd) me and my chick finished our evening. I got the notch.

[iamdegaussed]

Sounds like you read the situation right. I've been a waiter, so my impulse would've been to say something as well but you really have to pick your battles based on who you're dealing with. There was a video a while ago I saw where some bitch was being obnoxious in a pizza place and a guy told her off, so she went outside and brought in her GIANT boyfriend who almost killed the guy. It was fucking brutal. Don't want to end up like that or worse.

[funkyzeit]

You did the right thing. Uncivilized and frustrated people need to be shamed and put down. But I would advise that you must be careful with those types. If "hood rat" means what I think it means then you must be ready for a fight if you plan to intervene in that way again.

[mental]

Usually it's best to remain neutral, but aloof isn't always the right choice. Some situations (like yours) are perfect assertiveness situations, and sometimes you just need balls of steel and dominate the situation - it all depends.

[Checkmat]

I have a fear of a woman attacking me. Seriously.

I was in a verbal confrontation with three neo-Nazi gang members when I was a teenager. Two of them were big guys and one was a big girl. The girl was the one I feared the most because I knew if she attacked me, and I defended myself the other two would pounce. Or, she would attack my genitals. Or passersby would see me and a girl in a fight and immediately white-knight on the side of the Nazis.

Getting into a confrontation with a woman in any situation can be way worse than with a guy. If the woman is with her man or multiple men, you can really be fucked in a short time.

Reference the video posted above of the guy getting hit in the face by a woman, immediately hitting her back and then getting POUNCED ON by half a dozen men.

What would you have done if that woman hit you in the face, knowing her husband was right there? You defend yourself and suddenly it's 2+ versus 1. You try to ignore it, and she gets even ballsier and continues to physically assault you while you try and remain the stoic monk warrior. Fuck all of that. Avoiding the confrontation in the first place is the smartest thing.

[Frontenac]

These days, it's almost 99% worth it to avoid physical confrontation. The ramifications of hitting someone or even appearing to are tremendous. The problem is, the majority of society is completely non-confrontational, and will not stand up for someone else, or even themselves, if someone starts taking liberities. Because of this, people like in the original story exist and get a way with it.

There is something to be said however for calling bad people out on their bull shit. I've only been in a two situations where I've had to straighten people out, and each time, it was in a calm, collected, but firm manner. This has only been when someone has been berating someone who cannot stand up for themselves, such as in the story with the elderly couple in the SUV, or for myself when I've been threatened.

In my mind, this is the only way to do it. Given what we have to lose if we entered into a full-blown street fight, it's always better to take the higher road, unless of course there is a distinct threat of violence or danger to yourself or someone else.

[rudebwoy]

It ain't Alpha if you get shot at or knifed, pick your battles wisely.

When I lived in the UK, I know a dude who almost lost his eye. All because his friend was mouthing of a bouncer about entering a club. Many people get "glassed" over stupid fights that are started in pubs.

I have reached a point whereby I have nothing to prove, people generally don't start stuff with me. Not because I am a tough guy but because my frame says " don't bother".

You have more to lose than most of these losers!

[samsamsam]

I do admire the fact that you tried to help someone else.

But generally, the rule of thumb is to never argue with someone who has nothing to lose. I can argue with people who realize that they would lose a lot of things go wrong.

But with people who are fuckups there is nothing grounding them into reality. The only hope is they find other fuckups and they hurt each other rather than others who are just trying to do the best they can.

I'd love to just go nuts on some people I run into, but I realize that I have a lot to lose, assets and freedom should it go badly. It is at times, an annoying situation to be in. But I would rather have assets and have a desire to learn than poor and no desire to improve myself.

[AneroidOcean]

(12-23-2013 01:33 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

It ain't Alpha if you get shot at or knifed, pick your battles wisely.

When I lived in the UK, I know a dude who almost lost his eye. All because his friend was mouthing of a bouncer about entering a club. Many people get "glassed" over stupid fights that are started in pubs.

I have reached a point whereby I have nothing to prove, people generally don't start stuff with me. Not because I am a tough guy but because my frame says " don't bother".

You have more to lose than most of these losers!

While your advice is good, your example is horrible. Your friend's friend was mouthing off to a bouncer before even getting INTO a club. In your example, your friend was the other person at the ghetto idiot's side and then obviously in some way backed up the idiot or didn't just leave. He's the fuckup, not the bouncer or whoever hit him (sorry, even if you're in the right, mouthing off to a bouncer is FUCKING STUPID, it's just a little behind mouthing off to a cop).

Getting involved in a situation you have to be very careful to determine whether it will really benefit you or if you're just reacting out of emotion.

If you lose your cool over some other idiot being an idiot, you're stooping to their level and you'll likely be the loser, much like an argument. The thing that sticks out in dude's example earlier in the thread about the guy getting out his car and screaming obscenities at the lady in her car, is that the guy never lost his cool and made it obvious to the idiot that his best option was to leave.

[augen sehen]

It's kind of a bitch thing to do, but since I'm at a restaurant and it's their space and also their responsibility to provide a peaceful environment for their patrons, I would ask the waiter to call the manager and have a word with him.

I don't want to get in a fight when I'm out for dinner, and that's exactly what those kinds of pieces of shit live for.

[Rocklion2000]

Don't ever hit first. You have to take the first shot to claim self defense. Hope it's a poor one.

The closest I've been in this situation was eating dinner with my family when a guy walks up to me and starts screaming about how we scratched his car. I get up, go outside and he shows me a quarter inch nick that my ex made when she got out of the car. He didn't even have some high dollar car. Just a Nissan Xterra. He starts rattling off how it's going to cost him to repoint and how he lived in the rich side of town. An attempt to show me he had money. I just looked at him and calmly said"You ruined my dinner with my family for this? You come back in there again I'm going to put a fucking dent in it with your head." I turned and walked back. He yelled motherfucker and some other shit but never saw him again. I risked getting keyed or whatever but got his license tag for insurance.