[Diego]

so this new girl im seeing (2 dates, no bang, but very promising) flew to London this evening to meetup with her parents for an extended 3-week, 7-city European tour. she's 22 and had just recently received her university degree here in Toronto (she's an international student from Singapore) and quite unsure what steps to take next with her life. her family is rich and she has the option of moving to any city she wants to start her career.

during the couple of dates we had, we talked about her options. we joked that if our encounters start to look promising, she might choose to stay in Toronto and start her work life here. we connected pretty well and we talked pretty much everyday over the phone but this scheduled tour of hers plus my work schedule kind of prevented us from having a day three. nonetheless, over the course of a couple of weeks, she decided to hold on to her condo apartment rental and deferred making a decision about leaving Canada upon her return from her Euro trip. before we met, she was planning to let go of her rental place and go back home to Singapore directly from Europe. the new plan is now to return back to Toronto and decide after that.

this morning (day of departure), I texted her telling her to send me a message before she boards her plane. she texted back late in the afternoon saying "I am leaving for the airport now." I texted back "I said before you board your plane eager-beaver". To which she replied "haha okay".

this is a routine i've used a few times with good results when a girl I am working on is leaving the city, especially on a long haul flight. I tell them to message me right before boarding the plane so I will be the last person they think about during this usually highly emotional moment.

anyway, while waiting for her flight to board, she started bombarding me with messages. I was trying to be aloof at first with my responses but then decided to engage her more because i thought the situation warrants more investment on my part. she was likely looking for reassurance that I am really serious about seeing her again.

a few minutes before she boarded, the convo went like this:

her: "why did you make me message you before I board the plane? what does this mean?"

me: "stop asking silly questions. you messaged me. it means what it means"

her: "youre beating around the bush youre playing games."

me: "everything will unfold after you get back here chinks." (singaporean)

her: "lame"
[I think she's trying to set me up to bite into a beta frame here to tell her sweetie pie stuff]

me: "you dont have to come back if you dont want to."

her: "Ughhhh bye Diego see you in 2014"

her: (after 1 min) "Be happy!!!"

her: (after 8 min) "Byeeeeeeee"

(plane flies away)

Okay boys, what's the best play here? She'll be gone for 3 weeks with mom and dad and sis touring Europe. Her phone is out and she's only accessible via Facebook. She asked me to message her only on Facebook.

Option 1: Totally go dark
Option 2: Sporadic messaging
Option 3: Full on contact

I want her to get invested into me enough so when she comes back to Canada, she is more likely to decide and stay.

Thoughts?

Thanks.

[CarCrashKid]

I've fucked up in this situation myself.
Girl went off with her family for a couple of weeks and I kept the texting constant until she didn't text back. I went dark until she got back and started chatting on the Facebook and she realised that her message hadn't sent. I came back at her with a shit attitude and sounded Beetah. Like I was waiting for her to text me or call.

If I could do it again, I'd go dark as night. She'll come back

[bojangles]

To me it seems you've done fine. Do sporadic messaging and when you do, drop in some future projection.

[Rutting Elephant]

Wealthy Singapore girls are some of the most privileged and entitled, if not on the planet, at least in Asia. She is most likely to decide where she will settle next based on purely economic factors; some dude with game will not factor into her calculations. Sex is way down the list of her motivations. (Societally, this is good and bad, but we've discussed this elsewhere.)
I mean, while overconfidence is good, is it realistic to think you can influence her?
Use her time in Europe to overcome this one-itis. It can only help your game when she gets back.

[Target Acquisition]

I think you just did everything wrong, in this sequence :

"me: "you dont have to come back if you dont want to." ..............Why the (unwarranted at this point) aggressiveness?

her: "Ughhhh bye Diego see you in 2014" ...............She gives you one chance to amend for your surprisingly rude message.

her: (after 1 min) "Be happy!!!"................ senseless and bitter (because of the 1min delay) reply.

her: (after 8 min) "Byeeeeeeee"".............. she shuts you off.

[WestIndianArchie]

Anchoring, we get it

The red pill question is why?

[MrXY]

You've been on two dates with this girl, haven't banged her, and you want to get her to come live in your city?



Even in that brief text exchange your neediness and butthurtedness is apparent and it's obvious the girl picked up on it.

Message her once or twice while she's gone if you want but don't expect too much

Go approach a lot of other girls

[Tigre]

I read that as overgaming. Too much push, not enough pull.

Get things back on track with a standard Facebook greeting that you hope her travels are fun and maybe a stupid joke about whatever European country she's in.

Once that's done, remind her to bring you back something from Europe as a gift. Don't give her any hints about what's best - let her choose something. This keeps her thinking about you every time she walks past a gift shop or souvenir stand.

[Diego]

sometimes some of you guys come across as overly pessimistic.
one-it is, "She gives you one chance", senseless and bitter, neediness, butthurtedness, "don't expect too much"
come on guys, there are good experiences to be had out there.
not all encounters with women need to be struggles
I don't post much here but almost everytime that I do, it's about looking for your valued opinions on how to handle a particular situation.
and I've taken advice here that resulted in wins
I always try to make it a point that my posts should be about situations because I have a lot of situations because I game a lot.

anyway, lets not dwell on the negatives
as bojangles mentioned, it seems I did fine with the handling described in the original post.

I Facebook messaged her today to see how the flight was (I hope your flight wasn't bumpy).
she responded immediately and we did maybe 3 mins of Facebook message exchange (dunno if this is the same as fb chatting, I never do this). kept it light, funny and slightly sexual. injected some future projection (when she gets back ...) and anchored again using the gift routine posted above by Tigre.

the convo ended like this:

her: "If you do, I'm staying in TO. If you don't, I'm going to move." (something about a plan I drew in paper while we were having drinks on date 2)

me: "get your ass back here so we can make real plans"

her: "Okies. Btw I want to do it because I feel that ill learn a lot from you and you're really smart"
her: "w00t"

me: "and sexy"

her: "Hahahaha we will go with that too"

me: "k gotta go. don't dream too much of me"

her: "I'll try not to. Same to you!"

as to why am I doing this, I dunno guys. you find a girl you have good vibes with, you like being with her, you try to lure her in to your life, she goes for it - great, she doesn't - oh well, find a new one. the point is, if someone changes her life's course because you made her to, that's a testament to your influence. and an open chance for you to enrich someone else's life with your greater knowledge and experience. that makes me happy. wouldn't that make you guys happy?

[Christian McQueen]

Without being too much of a dick, the OP has his head up his ass.

Dude, you haven't even banged her yet, and yet you said this?

The entire forum stands corrected: It makes perfect sense to DRAW up plans while on DATE 2 regarding her moving/staying in your city.

"(something about a plan I drew in paper while we were having drinks on date 2)"

You're either a troll or...you're in for a world of emotional pain.

[Diego]

^ wow McQueen that was revealing
I never said the entire forum, I said "some of you guys come across as overly pessimistic" and I stand by that
who the pessimistic ones are is obvious

I won't argue, the story is the story, the outcome is the outcome
if it the case doesn't follow conventional expectations as far as results go, perhaps there is something we can all learn from that
that's why we are all here for, right? (or maybe not, usernames alone reveal who are those looking to brag)

i'm new here and I don't have the cred so take all my posts for what you think they're worth

[eradicator]

I would forget her and concentrate on women in your town. Maybe shoot your singapore girl one more message while she is travelling.

[amity]

The single biggest lesson I've learned with chicks who are far away is that less (communication) is more and whatever communication you have should display value
Keep her as someone you hit up online or by text every so often, but unless you are going to be seeing the girl in the near future, keep your contact fairly minimal
Then ramp up the contact the closer you get to seeing her, build the anticipation
Don't get drawn into 'hey, how you doing? what you up to' type conversations, perferably only contact her when you're doing something exciting or adventurous, that way she'll associate you positively, with exciting/adventurous things

[Spider]

Krauser has a good post on long-game.

I believe he'll occasionally fb message a girl he hasn't banged yet, but met and received good vibes from, slowly building enough comfort so that when she returns she is ready to bang.

Most of us lack the patience to put in that kind of effort, especially with a girl who isn't 100% returning.

Ultimately, as long as you're gaming and trying to bang other girls, it's ok to hit her up once or twice, or maybe wait for her to message you next.

Keep it low investment, focus on your options at home, and don't expect anything.

[Diego]

update: received the first ping from her tonight
the fb message will remain unopened until late over the weekend

[Diego]

okay. so I know some of the veteran playas on this board hate my approach and perceives a lot of "betaness" around the overall demeanor in the way I am relating this story. as I said, i disagree but i won't argue with them. the story is the story, the outcome is the outcome. and for the sake of relating the outcome i feel obligated to carry on giving updates as the story unfolds.

update:

i received the first fb message from her late last week. i let the message sit there unopened for over 48 hours before i opened it and responded. she was online and quickly shot a message back:

her: i bet you miss me already (message sitting there for 48+ hours)
me: where are you now
her: PRAGGGGUE your dream
her: I got you something!!!
her: WHAT YOU UP TO
me: frogggg your prince
her: hahaha im trying!!!
her: to find one
me: im your prince youre my prague ... frog
her: lmaoooo
her: i got you something
me: 1 gift per city right
her: everyone is asking that from me
her: 1 meaningful gift = more meaningful
me: im not everyone
her: wah will try
her: how's life?
... (3-4 lines exchanged about laundry, toronto storm, howling dogs)
... (ended convo w me getting back to doing house chores)
me: stay safe gotta bail cook dinner
her: wah
me: enjoy your trip me not going anywhere
her: why not
me: [her full name] is slow to pick up
me: makes me wanna go somewhere else now
her: lmao

the full convo itself could not have been over 5 mins. overall, i thought i did okay with controlling the frame, injecting some humor and doing more anchoring. the ending was very weak though, but that is how it went. so this was a full week after she left and there were some positives. i'll wait for her to ping me again, if not, i'll demand she submits a per city tourist review over the weekend (unless you guys can suggest a better spin).

i uncovered one sidenote of this story as i was doing recon on fb this evening. i did not mention on the original post that this girl owns a poodle. during this trip, the poodle was left to the care of a male friend. she mentioned this guy to me during date 2 and she said she's suppose to pay someone to take care of her dog but then this guy volunteered to take the dog in so she ended up saving some money. this evening, the guy posted several vids of the poodle and his dog playing in the snow. she was all over the vids liking and commenting. that's how the vids ended up appearing on my fb newsfeed. from the tone of her comments, the guy appears to be a long-time orbiter (although i can't be sure). and it seems like they are in constant (daily) communication. maybe because of her dog (but again, i can't be sure).

which brings me to my point: here then is a case for comparison of effects.

1. sporadic contact during an absence (me)
versus
2. constant contact during an absence (the guy taking care of her dog)

which will be more supportive of an eventual bang later?
i guess we'll see

[eradicator]

I would strongly suggest not messaging her again until she gets back.

[LeBeau]

The biggest problem with this thread, has nothing to do with the girl's attitude actually.

It's that the OP is asking more experienced guys to take time to help him out with his situation, while his dismissive responses would suggest one of these in his future:

[pheonix500000]

(12-17-2013 09:51 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  

The biggest problem with this thread, has nothing to do with the girl's attitude actually.

It's that the OP is asking more experienced guys to take time to help him out with his situation, while his dismissive responses would suggest one of these in his future:

YUUUP

[Diego]

this is a newbie forum. with a newbie posting an obviously newbie but legit story from a perspective of a newbie, experimenting like a newbie, because he is curious.

nothing bad has happened yet, yet for some reason the thread rattles the sensibilities of some of you expert playas.
i'm grateful for advice, yes. but I have my own mind and I decide if and when and which advice to take. why do guys have a problem with that?

and seriously lebeau, you've been here 6 mos and you have 500+ posts? do you even have life experiences not attached to a keyboard?

guys, tone down on the posturing. sometimes too much posturing betrays your insecurities.

[eradicator]

eh, I should explain a little more in detail. If you want to be another one of this chick's orbiters who gives her attention and watches her dog for free, and get nothing in return, then you should follow her other orbiter's lead.

If you want to be the guy who is fucking her, then you will not contact her until she gets back.

as for the guys saying the OP should be banned for making a noob topic, no I don't really think we need to ban all noobs for noobishness and not having tight game

[Comte De St. Germain]

As a fellow noob here on this board, the problem the community finds right now is your fixation on this one girl. Try to pick up other chicks around the city and relay to us how you are managing multiple women at once. One aspect of learning tight game(as far as I have seen it) is managing multiple women at once.

[Floss]

use a long pole lolololo

[LeBeau]

(12-17-2013 05:45 PM)Diego Wrote:  

this is a newbie forum. with a newbie posting an obviously newbie but legit story from a perspective of a newbie, experimenting like a newbie, because he is curious.

nothing bad has happened yet, yet for some reason the thread rattles the sensibilities of some of you expert playas.
i'm grateful for advice, yes. but I have my own mind and I decide if and when and which advice to take. why do guys have a problem with that?

and seriously lebeau, you've been here 6 mos and you have 500+ posts? do you even have life experiences not attached to a keyboard?

guys, tone down on the posturing. sometimes too much posturing betrays your insecurities.

You got me.

In fact, any of the "likes" on my posts or rep points I've received in that short time was for all my bad contributions so far.

I've actually posted in a decent amount of newbie threads helping guys out, not one of them has acted this way though.

Someone mentioned Krauser's blog, I came across one of his recent posts. If you're looking for advice, this might be the best post to start reading:

http://krauserpua.com/2013/12/10/the-perma-chode/

Quote:

Normal men can take a telling. They can put their ego aside, recognize doing what they've always done will only get them what they've always gotten. Beta males are a pleasure to teach. Gammas / Higher betas / Dans are often a nightmare. They've achieved something in life (unrelated to women) so they stubbornly cling to the I know best frame

[Shotgun Styles]

(12-17-2013 05:45 PM)Diego Wrote:  

and seriously lebeau, you've been here 6 mos and you have 500+ posts? do you even have life experiences not attached to a keyboard?

guys, tone down on the posturing. sometimes too much posturing betrays your insecurities.

Oh I can hear that...



...marching this way.