[deathtofatties]

(03-07-2014 02:01 PM)lush1 Wrote:  

18 yo girl - "I've slept with 19 guys"

Me - "blah blah blah... how come you never wear anything that shows off your massive tits?"

18 yo girl - "cos I dont wanna look like a slut"

[Trim]

Please respect my relationship.

One week later I have their clothes off.

[LaserBear]

Last night .. drunk at steak and shake with bro... fatties at the table next to us,
Cow 1: "I wanna stop going to parties for you just to have sex with the guy throwing it,"
Cow 2: "I don't do that.!"
Cow 1: "You would if they said yes."
Cow 2: *silence and nodding*


They also leaned over later and said "Oh my god! You shouldn't say that!" to me then ranted some speech straight of tumblr im sure, when I started laughing and told my buddy the gay dudes at the other end of the restaurant were hitting on us.
Apparently its rude to call them gay, but totally acceptable for them to shout sexual advances at us across the room.

[LaserBear]

Hate to bump a thread but heard one in the sauna yesterday, too good not to share.


Two girls discussing all these weddings they have to go to... how crazy their friends are... etc.
Apparently her soon to be wed friend (that she's the maid of honor for) dropped this gem, "I don't know, I expect to be married for like 10 years."

What.

Planning the divorce before the wedding?
Something tells me she's not the one paying for everything.

[CEO]

"Use your thumb its thicker than your pointer"

As I fingered her ass.

[Mr. Sunshine]

Having a girl asking you to call her "bunny" and her calling you "bear".
Only later to find out that's the nicknames she and her bf have for each other...

[bojangles]

That won't fit in my ass

With a bit of perserverance as Tyrone says
[video=youtube]
http://youtu.be/c-H-IeVDfO0?t=3m7s[/video]

[tawillionaire]

Fucked a black girl who wanted me to call her my "little nigger slut" while she called me ''massa"

Soon as she left I immediately got on google and saw that slave role playing is, in fact, a real fetish.

[007]

(03-20-2014 09:15 AM)tawillionaire Wrote:  

Fucked a black girl who wanted me to call her my "little nigger slut" while she called me ''massa"

Soon as she left I immediately got on google and saw that slave role playing is, in fact, a real fetish.

Hahahah, 'massa'. You'll love this skit from Opie & Anthony with Patrice O'neal. It's long but it's 100% laughs.

[Tytalus]

(03-20-2014 09:15 AM)tawillionaire Wrote:  

Fucked a black girl who wanted me to call her my "little nigger slut" while she called me ''massa"

Soon as she left I immediately got on google and saw that slave role playing is, in fact, a real fetish.

If I ever dated a black woman... Yeah. I'd be tempted to try some RP along those lines mainly for the sheer taboo factor.

[dulst]

"I'm drunk, take advantage of me"

[Sweet Jones]

(03-20-2014 09:15 AM)tawillionaire Wrote:  

Fucked a black girl who wanted me to call her my "little nigger slut" while she called me ''massa"

Soon as she left I immediately got on google and saw that slave role playing is, in fact, a real fetish.

on the bucket list rofl

[Old Fritz]

All blue pill guys should read this thread.

[AntiTrace]

Twitter post: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder baby! *kissy face emoticon @twitterboyfriend"

As she was laying in bed with my cum still dripping out of her ass, "Anti-s bitch/slut/cum dumpster/etc" written all over her body, handcuff still one of wrist, the belt loosened up around her neck, and the blindfold resting on the floor next to her panties that I ripped off her.

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it doesn't get the pussy wet.

[Enjoythedecline]

''I can't believe I'm doing this !!!'' she said while sucking me and having a BF.

A girl send me 2 pics of her boobs and later told me that she's not a slut... really ?!

[Remington]

My ex girlfriend once said "Would it be considered cheating if I had sex with a girl?"

me: It depends. Would I be involved?
her: No, I would only want to do it by myself.
me: Then yes, I would consider that cheating. If I was involved, then I wouldn't consider it cheating because we would both be involved.
her: Now you're just being selfish.

[L M McCoy]

"My mom taught me how to give blowjobs"

What kind of mother would.....Why would a girl even mention.....

[Old Fritz]

"My boyfriend is an asshole " -> Said several minutes after swallowing my cum (Didn't know she had a boyfriend)

"It feels like I'm taking a reverse dump. A good reverse dump" (Girl telling me how anal feels)

"I want to test out my gag reflex" (A different girl that gave me a blowjob)

[Rawmeo]

Girl: I'll take a vodka / orange juice please.
Me: Well that's great, but you'll have more luck saying that to the bartender.
Girl: I never bring money with me, because guys pay my drinks. Are you a nice guy too?

==========================

Thai chick: It feels good to finally have gleat sex. My husband dick no big and you so big.

[SouthernCasanova]

A punk-rock HB8.5, with her friend beside her while we was hanging out and moved to sex...

"You don't want to get fucked with me?"

[BlurredSevens]

Her: I'll have a threesome with you if you have sex with me in public
Me: Ok. Do you know any girls that would be down?
Her: All the girls I've ever had a threesome with before are now either married or pregnant.

[Sombro]

(As she's riding me): "Pretend you're dead."

F'n necro skank.

[RUIN]

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

may the best hamster wheel spin!!!!!

[Rush87]

"Don't use a condom we're [Her & Her husband] trying to conceive"

I refuse to touch a married women and left immediately. My trust in women [Unfairly] dropped a lot that night.

[trainwreck]

"So you had a threesome with your friend huh..?" "No.." "But you said you fucked another guy with your friend last summer" "Yeah, but it was 2 guys and us 2".

From a 16yo. Lol.