Quote: (11-27-2010 12:44 PM)DonovanVC Wrote:
Quote: (11-27-2010 06:48 AM)Badstuber Wrote:
If they are tourists they are pretty easy. Not if they immigrate to the US.
Yep, thats the truth right there. I've met quite a few Euro girls here in Chicago...can barely remember one good interaction.
And I can explain why.
However before the explanation it is necessary to understand how male-female interaction works in (Eastern) Europe.
For long-term relationships vast majority of people meet their partners through social circles - at work, parties with friends, and so on. Long-term relationship here doesn't necessary mean marriage, but it is typically living together and sharing the money arrangement. For this type of relationship a guy is expected to talk with a girl a lot, go out, show a lot of attention and so on. He may get laid on date three or date fifteen, but never at date one. A lot of attention, communication, and spending a lot of time together is the key here. For Eastern European girls a LTR has much more value than a quick fuck or fuck buddy type relationship, they are not as horny as American chicks. It is a cultural mindset. It means that if she considers you a potential LTR candidate, you will NOT get one-night stand unless you clearly show that she won't be able to get you into LTR. At this point she she may either turn to another LTR candidate (if there is one), or consider you for something else like a quick fuck (if there is no other potential LTR candidates).
Short term and one night stands mostly happen at parties - either house parties, or campus/university/company/whatever, when people got drunk. There may be some conversation, but typically it is very short (as both of you are drunk). To give you an example from my past, I was dancing with a chick, I kissed her couple of times, said "let's get out of here" and in 15 minutes we were fucking in my place. I didn't even ask her name, and obviously both of us were drunk. And I'm not unique, that is how it works for a lot of guys in Europe.
It is important to understand that there is no bar scene in Europe as it is in US, and clubs are where people go to have fun, not to pick up or get laid. This is why you rarely see guys in clubs there cold approaching girls. Even when you do see it, in vast majority of cases it will look very lame (or as a drunk joke) - guys there are not used to such approaches at all, nor are girls.
A short summary for those who didn't read all of the above:
If a (not wasted) guy is paying a lot of attention to an Eastern European girl, she interprets it as he is interested in LTR with her. Seriously, no man in Europe would spend eight hours with a girl, do dates and spend a lot of time on her just to fuck her couple of times. It is like paying $500 for a Big Mac, doesn't happen there.
Now here is what happens with a girl from Europe who comes to US. There is NO difference between tourist and immigrant, the only thing which matters is time she spent in USA submerged into the local culture. A time line typically looks like that:
1. Less than one month total. No knowledge of culture, weak English, everything new, no American friends, and too shy. It is unlikely you'll meet her in a club or bar, and even if you do, you won't go far as she won't be interested. At this stage she is only a good target for the people from her country of origin, as they can tell her what to do and how.
2. One month to three months. Basic excitement. She is excited of the amount of attention she is receiving, and interprets it as all those guys want an LTR with her. She starts going out, talks to the guys, and slowly becomes an attention whore. At this stage she is a good target for American guys, who have a good chance to get laid.
3. Three months to two years. Enjoying it. She got an American BF or two, going out regularly with groups of American GFs and behaves like them, just being more attractive. She is enjoying American culture and her English is great. She finds American guys more caring about her, and paying significantly more attention to her needs than European guys, and considers marrying one. This is the stage I advise Russian guys to completely ignore her as she is too much work and will be easier later. However for American guys this is pretty much the last chance to score, and it would be as easy as scoring with an American chick.
4. After two years. Insight. She understood that the level of attention she was receiving was not because her value was so high here, it is because American guys are desperate, and giving that much attention to virtually anything which possesses a vagina. This attention does not mean anyone want to have a real LTR with her. She also had some American BFs, probably even lived with one, and it all looked like she is living with a roommate who is a control freak. She learns more about American way of life, both from her girl friends and experience, and gets disappointed with it.
Then she experiences the culture clash. She can't understand how someone cna consider baseball a "game", having the events of that scale. She cannot understand the obsession with celebrities, even when they say completely moronic things. With so many differences she understands she will not accept the American culture, only tolerate it. At this moment she understands that she cannot have a healthy LTR with an American guy, as the culture difference is too large. So she cuts it off, and comes back to her local expat community.
At this moment she is generally lost for American guys. It is still possible, but one needs to try really hard to prove to her he is not a typical desperate American dude who is pushed to talk to her because he haven't got laid for a month. I've seen some examples where it worked, but in all cases I can remember the guy is significantly (at least 10 years) older than her, lived abroad (in a non-Western country) for several years. There are more common things, but those seem to be most relevant.
Sorry if this was rough, but this is combined experience of a lot of people from all over Eastern Europe who lived in the USA for up to 30 years.