[CaliforniaSupreme]

Will you demand to get a prenup when it comes time to get married? If the girl insists on not getting one, will you oblige her? How about a postnup?

[MikeCF]

Just don't get legally married.

If you want a family, give her the wedding ceremony. Let her dress up and take pics.

Just don't make in the marriage contract and have it on record that you're not legally married.

That won't work in common law marriage areas, obviously, but it's been done with success in other states.

[PrimeTime32]

DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT GET MARRIED! A man has absolutely nothing to gain the the western world by getting married. NOTHING!

[El_Superbeasto]

Yes if I make more than her, no if she has more money than me. Wasn't an option in the poll.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(11-17-2013 05:07 PM)El_Superbeasto Wrote:  

Yes if I make more than her, no if she has more money than me. Wasn't an option in the poll.

Sorry, but that's not a good plan.

I hate to be the bringer of bad tidings here, but my ex-wife earned significantly more than me. When all was said and done, I was the one who lost out financially. This wasn't court-ordered. It was just the way things ended up and it would have cost me too much to fight it.

I ended up paying for a new roof under which I could not live when we separated. And my ex was actually pretty decent and reasonable. I'd hate to think of what unreasonable women do to men.

Here is a funny or sad epilogue depending on your point of view. To avoid a fight, I let my wife keep the equity in our old house. That let her pay off a condo, which I was good with because I didn't have to feel responsible if she hit the skids (her big salary led to overwork, which led to illness, which is a very typical story for women). We were on good terms. Then she got two cats. I'm allergic. So I got screwed again: I helped pay for a condo which I now cannot visit nor sleep over in case of an emergency (fire, snowstorm, surgery) which is a deal we had.

So, tell me. What was that you said about still wanting to get married if she made more than you?

[Basil Ransom]

There's a simpler reason the prenup if she makes more money thing doesn't work.

The only possibly compelling reason to get formally married is to have kids. If you have kids, odds are high she'll drop her high paying to work at home or for an easier low paying job. Personally, I wouldn't want the mother of my children to have a job outside the home anyway. Getting married with an eye towards hustling her for money just sounds like an extremely risky thing to do, unless you're Porfirio Rubirosa (who got rich off serially divorcing),

So now you've got no prenup and a wife that makes less money than you.

[MikeCF]

(11-17-2013 05:47 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Here is a funny or sad epilogue depending on your point of view. To avoid a fight, I let my wife keep the equity in our old house. That let her pay off a condo, which I was good with because I didn't have to feel responsible if she hit the skids (her big salary led to overwork, which led to illness, which is a very typical story for women). We were on good terms. Then she got two cats. I'm allergic. So I got screwed again: I helped pay for a condo which I now cannot visit nor sleep over in case of an emergency (fire, snowstorm, surgery) which is a deal we had.

You made the mistake men in divorces generally make.

You did the "right thing." You were fair and reasonable.

You can't expect a woman to appreciate that or ever return the favor.

[eradicator]

I picked "i will never get married". But honestly, so long as you make her sign a pre nup well in advance of the marriage that says you will split all child care 50/50, and she get 0 alimony and 0 child support, I see nothing wrong with marrying her. How many women will actually agree to this?

The only reason for getting married now, if you are a man, that I can think of would be if you want children but don't want them out of wedlock.

[Collide]

(11-17-2013 04:26 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Just don't get legally married.

The only girls I really liked were from other countries so getting legally married does serve a purpose, it's just a shame that divorce is unfair for men.

[Menace]

(11-18-2013 04:27 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

I picked "i will never get married". But honestly, so long as you make her sign a pre nup well in advance of the marriage that says you will split all child care 50/50, and she get 0 alimony and 0 child support, I see nothing wrong with marrying her. How many women will actually agree to this?

The only reason for getting married now, if you are a man, that I can think of would be if you want children but don't want them out of wedlock.

Everyone has to understand that in the United States any term in a contract (like a prenup) that attempts to dictate child support terms is void or voidable. Child support is a statutory matter in each state that supersedes any terms you might agree to, so these terms are NOT enforceable.

Marriage is an absolutely insane thing to do, yes even for kids. If the girl is into you enough, she will want to have your children married or not.

[username]

If I have any assets, say $300k or more, and I was to get married then I would first look at moving the cash and assets into some kind of trust that would be protected from divorce. Also, it would never be with an American woman and most likely won't be on American soil. Just taking America (or any other western nation) out of the equation and your odds of doing fine post-divorce are significantly better.

[Lucario]

Prenups can be overthrown by some white knighting judge....do not get married, prenup does not equal safe.

Now if you are Jason Statham....you are safe because his hot GF is richer than him.

[redpillrage33]

How about the option, "Didn't have one the first time, got burned, now know better"?

[samsamsam]

Irrevocable Trust.

[Merenguero]

(11-18-2013 03:19 PM)Menace Wrote:  

(11-18-2013 04:27 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

I picked "i will never get married". But honestly, so long as you make her sign a pre nup well in advance of the marriage that says you will split all child care 50/50, and she get 0 alimony and 0 child support, I see nothing wrong with marrying her. How many women will actually agree to this?

The only reason for getting married now, if you are a man, that I can think of would be if you want children but don't want them out of wedlock.

Everyone has to understand that in the United States any term in a contract (like a prenup) that attempts to dictate child support terms is void or voidable. Child support is a statutory matter in each state that supersedes any terms you might agree to, so these terms are NOT enforceable.

Where I am, the two parties can agree to child support terms in a written agreement, but the Court still has to approve the terms of the agreement. The way this is done is through child support guidelines. The way the guidelines are run is that the father's income is listed, along with the mother's income, the amount of daycare expenses, and sometimes such expenses as extraordinary medical expense, and school expenses. You then run the amount for sole father custody, sole mother, or shared physical custody, whatever the case may be in order to come up with the support obligation. If the two parties agree to an amount which is above the guidelines, I'm sure any judge would approve the agreement. If the agreed-upon amount is under the guidelines amount, the Court often seeks that the payee (the person receiving the support) sign a statement of best interest, specifically stating that it is in the child's best interest that the non-custodial parent pay under the child support guidelines. A copy of the guidelines worksheet is always attached to any agreement which has a provision for child support.

[Menace]

Merenguero that's what I did according to the laws of our great state. Of course this works fine if both parties agree. However, what I'm talking about is the situation where things go to court and/or you have some 0 child support provision (or something that significantly deviates from the guidelines). You can't point to a pre-nup and tell the court: well we agreed to it so you can't do anything about it.

[Merenguero]

(11-18-2013 08:32 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Merenguero that's what I did according to the laws of our great state. Of course this works fine if both parties agree. However, what I'm talking about is the situation where things go to court and/or you have some 0 child support provision (or something that significantly deviates from the guidelines). You can't point to a pre-nup and tell the court: well we agreed to it so you can't do anything about it.

I see what you are saying. The court has the power to order anything as long as the parties agree to it. Even if the parties agree to it, the court still needs to approve it. As I said before, if the parties agree to something below the guidelines or even to no child support, a statement of best interest is often required by the court. If the parties are not in agreement at the time of either the child support or divorce hearing, you cannot point to a provision in a pre-nup for zero child support or for support which is under the guidelines.