If she would be serious about returning with you she would get an abortion... Now she got impregnated by another man who probably doesn't want that child either.
A girl I care for is pregnant by another man
Quote: (02-10-2017 02:40 PM)AtyourCervix Wrote:
If she would be serious about returning with you she would get an abortion... Now she got impregnated by another man who probably doesn't want that child either.
That can come down to a religious and moral issues that are far deeper ingrained.
Why take care of another man's offspring. What a waste of time.
Go find a new one.
Quote: (02-10-2017 02:04 PM)Mercenary Wrote:
You guys are making a LOT of suppositions with almost ZERO information.
OP's first post is 5 sentences long with barely any info.
Yet back in November 2016 OP wrote this on another thread he started.
Quote: (11-27-2016 02:09 AM)JoyStick Wrote:
I care for this girl still.
She was a good one and I was a dick to her and she got fed up and moved on.
Now, I don't know if this is the same chick that got pregnant, and I don't usually side with the girl a priori, but it seems to me here that OP is not giving us the whole story and is not entirely free of fault here. I smell possible remorse for dumb behaviour that he himself did.
Until we have more info, useful advice that can really help his mindset now is limited.
These issues are always worth discussing here if for no other reason than to serve as reinforcing "cautionary tales" for others that might stumble on to the thread and benefit from it.
_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example
"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs
"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Quote: (02-10-2017 02:20 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
Honestly she told me how badly her baby daddy treated her and I treated her great in comparison. I'm just bummed out about the situation and wanted to vent.
No Joystick, this is a lie. You didn't come here to vent. You came here to demonise this girl and feel better about your shitty behaviour in that relationship. How do I know this ? Because you won't answer very basic questions about what exactly happened. You just get off on everyone chiming in here saying "yeah, ditch her, she's a cunt" without anyone having any idea of the real circumstances, because you are vague and silent on them.
Seeing as you refuse to tell us the whole story, all I can go on is your posting history on RVF and show what you have written here in the last few months.
In July 2016 you wrote this:
Quote: (07-27-2016 07:38 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
She's not technically my girlfriend but she's someone that I'm serious about, so i would feel bad getting her skittles eventhough I enjoyed that post from roissy. I'm enough of an ass as it is. We have been hooking up for like 6 months now. I'm probably going to get sex toys or lingerine. Thanks for the advices.
In November 2016 you started that thread saying:
Quote: (11-27-2016 02:09 AM)JoyStick Wrote:
Would you buy a Christmas gift for an ex ?
And in December 2016 you wrote this:
Quote: (12-08-2016 01:07 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
I need to approach more. I'm on a three months dry spell. This nasty fat girl I know was hitting me up today trying to hang out and I was seriously considering it for a little bit.
Normally I wouldn't call out an established member like this, but you are leading us on here like a false witch trial, and are misusing the goodwill of forum members.
The best hypothesis I can come up with is that you casually saw this girl for 6 to 8 months, without ever treating her like a proper girlfriend (and probably acted very beta as well with her), and she got fed up with that and left you. Then you hit a long dryspell, had no other options to get laid, and wanted her back. It's a hypothesis for sure...but at the moment that's all we have to go on.
Joystick, I came here really wanting to help you out, but you just seem to want some pity attention rather than real help in your life.
This is the 1st time I'm saying this on RVF, but I side with the girl on this one.
The guy who got her pregnant is the real man here.
What are you talking about man? What did I say that was false? I just want pity because I don't want to get in my feelings and talk about certain things online? Ok man.
Quote: (02-10-2017 03:23 PM)Mercenary Wrote:
Quote: (02-10-2017 02:20 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
Honestly she told me how badly her baby daddy treated her and I treated her great in comparison. I'm just bummed out about the situation and wanted to vent.
No Joystick, this is a lie. You didn't come here to vent. You came here to demonise this girl and feel better about your shitty behaviour in that relationship. How do I know this ? Because you won't answer very basic questions about what exactly happened. You just get off on everyone chiming in here saying "yeah, ditch her, she's a cunt" without anyone having any idea of the real circumstances, because you are vague and silent on them.
Seeing as you refuse to tell us the whole story, all I can go on is your posting history on RVF and show what you have written here in the last few months.
In July 2016 you wrote this:
Quote: (07-27-2016 07:38 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
She's not technically my girlfriend but she's someone that I'm serious about, so i would feel bad getting her skittles eventhough I enjoyed that post from roissy. I'm enough of an ass as it is. We have been hooking up for like 6 months now. I'm probably going to get sex toys or lingerine. Thanks for the advices.
In November 2016 you started that thread saying:
Quote: (11-27-2016 02:09 AM)JoyStick Wrote:
Would you buy a Christmas gift for an ex ?
And in December 2016 you wrote this:
Quote: (12-08-2016 01:07 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
I need to approach more. I'm on a three months dry spell. This nasty fat girl I know was hitting me up today trying to hang out and I was seriously considering it for a little bit.
Normally I wouldn't call out an established member like this, but you are leading us on here like a false witch trial, and are misusing the goodwill of forum members.
The best hypothesis I can come up with is that you casually saw this girl for 6 to 8 months, without ever treating her like a proper girlfriend (and probably acted very beta as well with her), and she got fed up with that and left you. Then you hit a long dryspell, had no other options to get laid, and wanted her back. It's a hypothesis for sure...but at the moment that's all we have to go on.
Joystick, I came here really wanting to help you out, but you just seem to want some pity attention rather than real help in your life.
This is the 1st time I'm saying this on RVF, but I side with the girl on this one.
The guy who got her pregnant is the real man here.
Who cares if he was only dating casually. You say your on the side of the girl but what does that mean?
Should he "man up" and marry this girl and take of this bastard for 20 years?
That would be an awful decision.
The most he could do is apologize for being an asshole but he doesn't owe that to the chick.
In the end it doesn't matter because you either never dated or you broke up. It's over, the past is the past. Learn from it but leave it there.
I am going to add to the chorus here and recommend that OP nexts this chick and cuts off all contact.
Mercenary, I understand the sentiment that one should get to the root of the problem by self examination in order to attack the problem at it source; ie beta behavior.
However given the reality of OP's situation (as far as I can tell) he's probably feeling like a mess right now, and will be unable to accurately asses where he went wrong in terms of specifics.
In my experience, self reflection of one's errors, within the context of a relationship, or otherwise, cannot be forced. When I've been dumped, scammed, or otherwise fucked over, the answers of why usually do not make themselves readily apparent. It's normal, and human to feel the pain of loss. And it's a healthy part of the process.
For what it's worth, the times where I've been able to reflect on where things went wrong usually comes later. When I'm sitting there having a beer, months later, and I can see clear as day "Huh...so that's what happened". Lesson learned, moved on.
Those types of realizations do not come the day your world gets turned upside down. The answers might be staring you in the face, but it's so damned hard to see things objectively when you're in the middle of this emotional forest still trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
As far as removing beta behaviors, I do agree with the conclusion you've come to but disagree with the methodology. In this case, nexting the bitch is Beta Removal: Step Fucking One.
OP has to regain his confidence one step at a time, and the next is the first move which will put him on the path to emotional / psychological recovery.
Mercenary, I understand the sentiment that one should get to the root of the problem by self examination in order to attack the problem at it source; ie beta behavior.
However given the reality of OP's situation (as far as I can tell) he's probably feeling like a mess right now, and will be unable to accurately asses where he went wrong in terms of specifics.
In my experience, self reflection of one's errors, within the context of a relationship, or otherwise, cannot be forced. When I've been dumped, scammed, or otherwise fucked over, the answers of why usually do not make themselves readily apparent. It's normal, and human to feel the pain of loss. And it's a healthy part of the process.
For what it's worth, the times where I've been able to reflect on where things went wrong usually comes later. When I'm sitting there having a beer, months later, and I can see clear as day "Huh...so that's what happened". Lesson learned, moved on.
Those types of realizations do not come the day your world gets turned upside down. The answers might be staring you in the face, but it's so damned hard to see things objectively when you're in the middle of this emotional forest still trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
As far as removing beta behaviors, I do agree with the conclusion you've come to but disagree with the methodology. In this case, nexting the bitch is Beta Removal: Step Fucking One.
OP has to regain his confidence one step at a time, and the next is the first move which will put him on the path to emotional / psychological recovery.
"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
^^^^^
I agree with Rhyme or Reason in terms of it maybe being too soon for OP for see this rationally and most of the other things he wrote.
Joystick, don't start threads asking for help if you are not ready to be open and honest about what really happened.
That's misleading and a waste of everyone's time.
The man who got her pregnant should take care of that girl and the kid.
.....but Joystick needs to stop leading her on all the time. Behaving like a beta and being on again/off again is causing her a lot of collateral damage.
Girls need to take responsibility for their actions but the crap way Joystick behaved in the past and the way is behaving now (inviting her to his house) is just making things worse and more confusing for an already confused and pregnant girl.
Joystick, if you really care about her then get that man to marry her. If you can't stand the thought of that, then marry her yourself and put an army of your own babies in her after she has her first....otherwise stop all contact, because it's only making it worse for both of you.
This thread reminds me of Gary in the 1982 film "The Last American Virgin" when the girl he pines after gets pregnant by another dude, and Gary pays for the abortion and says he loves her. She gives him a few hugs, stays at his house overnight WITHOUT SEX cause Gary can't escalate and fuck close, and then a few days later she goes straight back to the dude who got her pregnant leaving Gary with nothing.
But it was all Gary's fault for being such a beta pussy in the first place.
I agree with Rhyme or Reason in terms of it maybe being too soon for OP for see this rationally and most of the other things he wrote.
Quote: (02-10-2017 03:42 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
What are you talking about man? What did I say that was false? I just want pity because I don't want to get in my feelings and talk about certain things online? Ok man.
Joystick, don't start threads asking for help if you are not ready to be open and honest about what really happened.
That's misleading and a waste of everyone's time.
Quote: (02-10-2017 03:49 PM)realologist Wrote:
Who cares if he was only dating casually. You say your on the side of the girl but what does that mean?
Should he "man up" and marry this girl and take of this bastard for 20 years?
The man who got her pregnant should take care of that girl and the kid.
.....but Joystick needs to stop leading her on all the time. Behaving like a beta and being on again/off again is causing her a lot of collateral damage.
Girls need to take responsibility for their actions but the crap way Joystick behaved in the past and the way is behaving now (inviting her to his house) is just making things worse and more confusing for an already confused and pregnant girl.
Joystick, if you really care about her then get that man to marry her. If you can't stand the thought of that, then marry her yourself and put an army of your own babies in her after she has her first....otherwise stop all contact, because it's only making it worse for both of you.
This thread reminds me of Gary in the 1982 film "The Last American Virgin" when the girl he pines after gets pregnant by another dude, and Gary pays for the abortion and says he loves her. She gives him a few hugs, stays at his house overnight WITHOUT SEX cause Gary can't escalate and fuck close, and then a few days later she goes straight back to the dude who got her pregnant leaving Gary with nothing.
But it was all Gary's fault for being such a beta pussy in the first place.
Quote: (02-10-2017 04:34 PM)Mercenary Wrote:
This thread reminds me of Gary in the 1982 film "The Last American Virgin" when the girl he pines after gets pregnant by another dude, and Gary pays for the abortion and says he loves her. She gives him a few hugs, stays at his house overnight WITHOUT SEX cause Gary can't escalate and fuck close, and then a few days later she goes straight back to the dude who got her pregnant leaving Gary with nothing.
But it was all Gary's fault for being such a beta pussy in the first place.
For reference:
Every Time you start thinking about getting back with her, force into your mind the scene of her arching her back demanding that fuck boy fill her with cream.
If that doesn't cure you, there is no hope.
If that doesn't cure you, there is no hope.
Quote: (02-10-2017 02:40 PM)AtyourCervix Wrote:
If she would be serious about returning with you she would get an abortion... Now she got impregnated by another man who probably doesn't want that child either.
Oh and that would make her wife material instantly, killing her child just like that only to get it on (again) with another man.
Moral matters aside, abortion (unless we're talking rape or disease) is NOT the sign of a quality woman.
I see what you're saying friend, if that woman wants the ailing OP back, she must make sacrifices, I agree with you. Just not that kind.
Anyway, the fact remains, she is not a woman worthy of a second chance. Whatever the OP thinks is her value got squandered by her behaviour.
She's not worthy of the priviledge.
What she did once she can do again. If someone does give her a second or any chance at all, however bad it might end up, let him at least do it out of choice, not lack of it.
OP, and anyone else in this situation........
![[Image: tumblr_inline_mpdccdtUkf1qz4rgp.gif]](https://media.tumblr.com/c28c447230c1cf3174b443c23612f726/tumblr_inline_mpdccdtUkf1qz4rgp.gif)
![[Image: spaceballs-ludicrous-speed-o.gif]](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2662103/spaceballs-ludicrous-speed-o.gif)
That is all.
That is all.
Quote: (02-09-2017 08:00 PM)JoyStick Wrote:
My ex got pregnant by some fuck boy and she's keeping the kid. It got me super depressed because I have feelings for her still. Now she's trying to get back with me. I'm not going to get back with her because fuck that shit. But I am taking it hard so I wound appreciate any advice or comments from whoever can relate to the situation. Thanks!
Good decision.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER. No matter what she says, don't do it. As a matter of fact, I would recommend you cut off all contact with her. Don't hook up with her anymore (even after the baby is born) as that will lead to problems.
No matter what she says or how much she cries, don't even CONSIDER getting back together with her.
Whenever you find yourself having feelings for this girl or missing her, just picture her naked, and then picture this guy's (the baby's father) rock hard cock penetrating her soft little pussy, and her moaning in pleasure and asking for more. Then picture him cumming inside her and impregnating her. That mental image should help you get over your feelings for this girl.
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