[HOD]

The core of a man is to show no emotion

The core of a women is emotion

Men do not show emotion, it shows strength and wisdom in time of dire strait.

Those who show emotion will show weakness.

[Hazaer]

(07-29-2016 10:43 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

If she's a game player,

- hit on chicks in front of her
- bring hotter chicks into the circle
- introduce her to other guys

This game baby steps stuff won't progress your knowledge or skills.
You're playing this like you don't have infinite lives.

WIA

(07-29-2016 10:10 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(07-28-2016 09:15 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

When she starts trying to seek rapport with you that's when you're getting signals that she's attracted. You press your advantage, you DO NOT give her rapport until she invests in the interaction. Until she starts complying with what you want her to do.




WIA

Yeah its probably best to continue ignoring her and treating her like any other girl. The way I see her now, she is quite a game player and very smooth, active and dominant socially. People say IOIs are an indicator that one should approach but sometimes its just for her validation and you never know. I realize that it might be that she just wants to put me back in the friend zone again and feels awkward about the previous incident. That's why as someone new to the game I might not be congruent enough to get into the frame that you mentioned above.

I remember Bang mentions 'never get rejected twice' so I was thinking she should be the one approaching me the next time and suggesting in some form if we should hang out if she is really interested and you know girls do that if they are interested enough. Alternatively, I was also considering interacting while she is in a group setting with her in it while chatting up her friends and only exchanging pleasantries with her but again that means showing very high value to the other girl(s) and there is a risk she might see through it or I might appear needy.

Now assuming she approaches me, a situation I do not expect to happen, what do you mean by 'her investing in the interaction'? She can be very good in agreeing, amplifying and giving rapport to what I have to say but I think it has got to be something more than that. Also, lets assume that you are in my place and all the previous stuff happened to you. What is it that you will want her to agree to do?

Thanks for your reply.

Yeah, I was thinking along the same lines as well. I think the best path for me is to not engage her directly one on one but show value through the pointers you have given above. She does go to greater lengths than her other persian counterparts to socialise with guys and girls of other races so if I can play it cool, she might make a move. But this time, I am going to keep the playful vibe going longer. Its just too bad that in the course that I am in, she is the only >7, but I still cringe at my previous self going to her door and trying to asking her out. A bitter but necessary lesson on the effects of oneitis.

[Dalaran1991]

Other than what WIA already gave you (which is brilliant advice but will take discipline to follow), I also suggest this:

Whenever you feel like you are working on a girl that will push your buttons, make it a point to go out and hit on several other cuter girls, just for the singular purpose of providing your mind with a "fake" sense of abundance.

I know its not like you can pull hot girls out of your ass, but its actually easier when you tell yourself "I will get this girl if and only if I have other girls". Kinda like a reverse self-fulfilling prophecy that works in your favor.

It's a safety fall back mind trick if you are afraid your game is slipping. And it tend to, when you meet a girl you really like.

When I met my LTR, I had to force myself to go night game (which I hate) just to have a few pots stewing while I was working on her. Of course, she wasn't easy to get and the night I was supposed to go out with her, I took out another girl instead. When I did see her again I was totally chill, whereas if I did not have a fall back plan my mood would be dark and bad game would slip.

[Hazaer]

I actually think she is doing all these IOIs to make me approach her like a beta again. She tries to hold eye contact whenever possible and make runs past my desk maybe hoping I notice her. As part of our uni study involves experimental work, we are given desks. This might be a crazy suggestion but what do you guys think of going up to her and asking her to come to my place for some music.. Ice cream, wine and Bang! If this makes sense in this case, how would you go about it as indirectly as possible?

Very outrageous game but would it work? Looking at what Bang says, I got to take her out on a date and escalate which would be like what I did the last time ie. asking her out and being rejected. Daygame suggests going indirect and asking her if her coffee is any good and getting her number. I have already chatted with her at length in the previous episode and got her number which i have since deleted. I feel that I got to bring something totally different to the table to jolt her into either agreeing or forgetting about me entirely if there is to be any kind of progress.

WIA, Dalaran your suggestions are good but our social circles are quite different so introducing her to another guy or talking about a girl she knows would be tough but still very remotely possible. Being in a graduate student environment, most of the chicks already are in relationships and have their own social circle so its a very individualistic culture here in grad school.

At the moment, its her trying to connect and I just go by not pretending to noticing her much. A pretty tiring game with her putting herself out there to be noticed and me trying to not look too needy while not looking to actively close her out and hence looking butt hurt.

I have been asking a lot about this scenario but this is the first time I have gotten this level of strange interest. I keep asking myself if she is just so desperate to put all the betas in her vicinity in the friendzone.

Thanks for the replies.

[Hazaer]

This thread has been focussing on cases where there has already been some interest from girls. What about those initial approaches where the guy has been immediately shot down upon opening?

The obvious answer is to go and meet other girls. However, with the same girl, how to we interact one on one especially if we get the chance to meet her again to turn the situation around? Assume that there are no other girls around to DHV or tease her.

Thank you for the opinions.

[yankeetravels]

Not sure where to put this but I had one of the most frustrating rejections of my life after something that seemed to be going well so I just wanted to write it out and leave it for you guys to judge.

I went out to this bar last night pretty early and was waiting for my friend to show up. I'm sitting at this table alone texting him because he's lost and these two girls walk in and one starts eyeing me. This approach really came to me more than anything so I let the two girls sit at my table and we start talking. The main one I was talking to immediately gave me signs that she was a little crazy (even kind of admitted it after teasing her) but she seemed very keen to me and the other one said at some point in the conversation that she "wanted to get weird tonight".

Everything was going well and I bought the first round for her and her friend on the condition that she pays for my next drink. After that, things start getting better and we get to physical flirting. Next round approaches and I can tell she's trying to shit test me by getting out of the deal using flirtation and a pretty face but I wasn't having it. I basically responded by saying I have to hold you to your word and that a woman is only as good as her word. At the time, this worked great as she kissed me and gave me her credit card to buy us drinks.

This is where things went south. To try to get even on the bill, I was going to buy my friend one beer as well. She saw me about to do it, flipped a shit on me and turned cold immediately. Literally one beer made her go from all over me to getting up and leaving. I knew she was a bit crazy but it made me realize how warped female logic can be, especially by the crazy ones.

I approached a handful more of chicks after that but I knew I probably lost the easiest opportunity I had that night so it effected my mood/game on the other girls. There's only a handful of cold night game approaches that I have felt a hard rejection for but the bigger L's and missed opportunities are things that I have a hard time getting out of my head. I think about them almost as much as my lays/girlfriends.