Post Your Biggest Red Pill/Game Lessons
10-26-2015, 01:30 PM
I'm a very late bloomer and only became aware of game through Roosh's blog, this forum and Heartiste/Roissy in my early 30s. Up until then I was beta to the utmost core. In some instances almost omega.
If I had to pick just ONE single red pill/game lesson that was the most shocking, most vital, and most life changing it would be this:
Most girls will not punish you for approaching and/or escalating sexually on a 1st date with her.
If I had to estimate from the age I stopped finding girls “gross” and full of “cooties” and got my first erection, all the way to when I finally discovered game roughly 20 years later, the fear and reluctance to cold approach a girl I didn’t know and/or escalate sexually on a 1st date is THE MAIN THING that destroyed all potential bangs and relationships before they even got started.
If I had to estimate how many girls I didn’t get to fuck from when I was a teenager to when I started reading about game, simply because I didn’t escalate on a 1st date with kino or kissing and/or didn’t push for sex when I was alone with a girl in a room who was shy but interested, then it would be something like between 100 to 300 girls lost over 20 years. That’s a staggering number of girls that just humbles me into bitter silence with its gravity.
And if I had to estimate how many dates I missed out on because I didn’t cold approach a girl that was alone, or giving me eye contact, or otherwise seemed receptive to being talked to, then we’re talking like at least 1000 to 3000 girls minimum over 20 years. Jesus Christ. It’s brutal just to think about it.
My whole life from early childhood had conditioned me to believe that girls hated unknown guys who approached them and despised men who pushed for sex early. This is what all girls and women told me. This is what television and movies told me. This is what my parents and family told me. This is what my friends and society told me. No one was telling me anything different. The entire world around me was shaming men for openly showing desire for a woman.
I spent every interaction with a girl I liked making sure she trusted me and felt very comfortable with me before even thinking of saying or doing anything that was sexual in nature. I was my own greatest cockblock. As you all can guess by now, by the time I did have the intention to take it further she had either stopped seeing me completely, or had friendzoned me in her mind long ago (without telling me of course) so that any escalation just came across as “creepy”. There was one girl I wanted so badly as a teenager, had the worst case of pedestalization and oneitis you can possibly imagine, but was so scared that my escalation would scare her off, I dated her for 8 MONTHS without banging. Finally she got fed up with my neediness, cheated on me and let another guy fuck her. The fact that she told me she didn't even like him that much, but let him do that so quickly nearly destroyed me and I am glad I didn't kill myself at the time.
I was so indoctrinated by the twisted morals and fucked up society we have been living in since the 1920s that I had a fear that if I even gave a hint of sexually desiring a girl before she was comfortable with me (and trusted me) she would run away, yell obscenities, hit me, tell everyone in our social circle how awful I was and maybe even go to the police. Even worse, in those situations where I felt 100% she was wanted to be kissed or undressed, I had all these fucked up ideas about how it should happen. That it needed to be perfect in every way, otherwise it would be a failure. That if I was pushing for it in any way more than she was, then it needed to stop immediately. I literally had situations where the girl was partially undressed and with a wet pussy, but I still could not seal the deal cause she still hadn’t said the words “kiss me” or "fuck me" or “I’m sure 100% now that I want sex with you.” The fact that you will practically NEVER come across a girl in your life who says this kinds of things the 1st time you kiss or bang her did not occur to me. In my mind, she just was not ready yet and I had to wait. Wait forever, as it turned out.
After many bangs I now finally understand how girls never "decide" to have sex with you the 1st time, in the same way a man decides something. She will always want plausible deniability that first time. ALWAYS. When a girl has sex with a new man the 1st time, they are submitting, not deciding. Deciding means you have to take responsibility for your actions. Girls do NOT want that burden. You are the one taking the risk, and making things happen. Something is happening to her, but she is not the one "making" it happen. They have simply refused to walk away, protest, or do or say anything to stop it from happening. It's pure submission. Girls just let their passion take over and submit to the tension, temptation and game you have created with her. If she really doesn't want to be there she will get up, walk away, scream, complain, whatever. This is why woman cannot consent in the logical, rational way people think it's supposed to work. LMR is not the exception. LMR is the default setting for most girls if she is really turned on, but scared because she is with a new guy. You overcoming her LMR in a successful way turns her on even more. LMR for a woman ratchets up the tension in your interaction to such an extent, she needs the sex even more desperately to be able to release with you. Women need to feel they are being totally overwhelmed by their animal desires which you have successfully stirred up in them to get really wet and horny, not that they are making some kind of "logical decision". If she consents in a calm rational way like she is signing some kind of paper contract then it's 100% sure she is not turned on. If she is really turned on, there's no way she's going to calmly and rationally tell you "Yes please, I'm now ready to be penetrated now by you." That is not how women work and never will.
When I first discovered Roosh and Roissy/Heartiste and this forum and read about how practically every guy had a better interaction with a girl by using kino, kissing and escalating on a 1st date I was shocked. The simple fact that even if you didn’t get the bang on that 1st date, you had a much better chance of having a 2nd date if you had done those things was like Neo realising what the matrix was for the first time. That was the red pill for me.
The night I discovered game, I binge read on all I could find for almost 3 days straight without even sleeping or eating. Like a concentration camp survivor seeing the first real decent food in a decade. And as soon as finally got the balls to start cold approaching and escalating on 1st dates, the bangs started to happen. Suddenly, in my life there were lots of dates, with lots of kissing, and lots of sex, and more girls than my wildest dreams. All these girls suddenly put out. They called back. They replied to my messages. They wanted to see me again. It was mind blowing. I felt like I had died and been reborn in a different body or a different world.
Also it just made me very angry for living in a system that had been conspiring against my masculinity , my strengths, my independence, my happiness and my satisfaction for so long. Now, the type of LMR that cost me a bang or a lost girlfriend as a teenager is something I deal with in less than a few minutes. Back then lost girls I had put a lot of "work” into was the end of the world for me…giving me thoughts of violence and suicide.
I am eternally grateful I discovered all this here before it was too late due to age or being married. There are many, many things I have learned from game and the red pill, but the one that really changed who I am and how I act with women was the realisation that girls will always not punish you for being a man who is not afraid to demonstrate his desire for her in a confident and honest way. In fact they respect you more and often are quite turned on as a result of this.
A girl will ALWAYS punish you in some indirect way if you do not have the courage to approach her and/or escalate sexually on a 1st date. She will give you a small window of time to do these things the correct way. After that time is passed, you have failed a test you didn't even know was happening, and will almost never get another chance with that girl.
