[Nascimento]

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If she doesn't text you after you've gone radio silent for 3-4 days, what does that tell you about the interaction?

That is a good point. I've always wondered this. I am 95% of the time the one chasing in my texting, and I never test this out. Is it a rule of thumb if you have been texting a woman, and you go silent on her for a few days and she doesn't initiate at all, she just not attracted enough and that is a signal to move on?

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Personally, I wouldn't bother texting her until she texts you, and then do what you said at the end of this paragraph. As I wrote above, you'll be chasing if you text her first and she'll be in control. If she doesn't text you, don't give in. You can always send a restart text in a few weeks and start a new frame with her.

I don't want to chase anymore. So I like this. But for future reference, if I let a couple weeks pass, and I text her something witty, restart conversation, schedule a meet up - is it fair to say I can start from square one again? But this time it would have the vibe that I am giving her another chance, so she better not screw it up?

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You're fine mate, you're young as hell. Just don't take advice on board and go and do what you thought was best anyway. Most situations are just carbon copies of someone else's when you strip it bare.

For sure, I like to take bits of everyone's opinions and perspectives and try to formulate my own reasoning.

No further questions, thanks!

[KingCokeSnorter]

(02-06-2013 09:36 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 08:41 PM)KingCokeSnorter Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 07:51 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

I asked a couple friends advice on this as well.

One of them told me the following - have you considered that she might actually really like you? That in the past she's been with guys just for sex, or she has been dumped after giving up sex, so she doesn't want that to happen with me?

Also, some of you guys state what within 2 dates and no bang although I pushed escalation should be a red flag, a signal to move on. I'd say that is accurate, but what about the fact she is an 18 year old girl? She's just in her first year, shes had a few boyfriends, maybe a one night stand. (Lets be real, the average girl at 18 has had between 1-3 partners).

How often is it that a cool guy takes her out on a date, gets her really attracted, and has her give up sex on the second time they hang out?

At this point in her life, I would be willing to say never. Her past sexual relations were either all high school boyfriends, or maybe the odd drunk one night stand.

Just what I am thinking right now.. Maybe I should play it slow. Take her out casually during the day and do something fun, but keep the date short and sweet, not much escalation. Then, a few days later, I'll take her out at night on a walk and retry.

What do you guys think about that?

PS: most important thing here is that I will not get hung up on this, as far as I know, I won't see her again. I am going out this weekend eager to meet new women

-Yeah she really likes you so she won't have sex with you but those guys who she didn't really like she gave them the pussy quick, so quick she regrets it and is punishing you for it by making you wait and not trusting you.


-The fact she 18 means she should be MORE DTF, she has more raging hormones and should be more boy crazy than an older women whose hormones are less raging.
-Yeah she only has sex with really cool guys who take her out on the 1st date and fuck her and dump her on the same said 1st date, but those nice guys who take her out on 3 dates clearly are not deserving of sex


-Yeah sure go for the 3rd date, you might get sex, but its a really inefficient way. This girl is being totally unfair to you. She slept around and had her fun and now is trying to make you wait.

-Woman want male attention without giving up sex. By giving up attention to her you are giving the most valuable thing you have to her for free. Instead of making her earn your attention by fucking you first, you are giving it away for free so why should she fuck you? Soon you will get bored of her pussy like everyone else and move on after 3-5 fucks.

What are you trying to say?

And I am thinking of going cold on text messaging until Sunday. That will give 3 entire days in between of no contact from me, and I haven't done that before to her. I haven't been texting her all the time, but since I met her I would text interminently, mostly with a few hours in between, the most being 24 hours.

I'm not expecting an initiation from her. But I will start conversation with her on Sunday, something witty, and make plans for Tuesday or Wednesday evening. If she complies, we will go on third date. At least I will know within a week whether we fuck, or I move on. Its one or the other.

If she really wants a relationship, I believe the sex needs to happen first. I do like her, but I'm not going to keep taking her on dates so that I can have sex with her when 'she is ready.'

What is wrong with that? I am not putting all of my chips on her. She is fun to hang out with, and maybe it takes more than 2 dates for her to have sex with someone she is attracted to.

Mystery once said the average girl needs 7 hours of time with you before she has sex with you. I know it is not even close to being true in all cases, especially when alcohol gets involved, but maybe this girl doesn't want to give it up quick for some womanly reason.

Also, specifically the part where you say 'Woman want male attention without giving up sex. By giving up attention to her you are giving the most valuable thing you have to her for free. Instead of making her earn your attention by fucking you first, you are giving it away for free so why should she fuck you?' How do I change this frame.. Where she should be getting attention from me? She has to give me sex first before I give her attention, how do I set up that frame? I feel if I go a few days without texting like I implied I might be setting this up a little bit.. Mostly how I will text her after the weekend passes and I have some time, showing I won't make time for her.

I'm not saying I disagree with what you are saying, we all have different opinions. But is this something that is just thought of by you, or do the other guys here have contrasting opinions? Would love to get feedback on this.

-The way to change the frame is to limit the amount of attention you give, it doesn't mean giving her the cold shoulder, but assuming you pull tight game, and the girl isn't on her period, she should openly want to fuck you on the first or latest second date. You can stretch it back to the 5th date the latest but at that point you are more pressuring her into sex than actually getting her to like you. Trust me, if brad pitt or Justin Bierber or whoever it is nowadays whipped his dick out for her she'd fuck him until kingdom cum. She'd not make up all these bullshit excuses. I could see that from a girl who was virgin or "just like that" but when I girl whose ons, snl, pnd is giving you that line its grossly suspect. Women have a way of stringing men along, they enjoy building sexual tension with giving out sex.
-Normally the way you get sex without dumping out tremendous attention is to try to basically sweep her off her feet from the start and fuck her as quickly as possible. That way if she isn't going to fuck you at least you know from the start. She has to be wanting you more than you want her, otherwise it will just become difficult for you to recover.
-Also the way you frame the whole sex thing, is you obviously have to bring up something sexual within the first few hours of conversation. Its a careful balance and you have to calibrate. Sometimes one can grind on a girl and bring her back to his house without even mentioning anything sexual. Sometimes you have to kiss her in the first few hours and bring up the topic of sex to see how she reacts, etc. Seems to me you just got unlucky. I mean for a girl to suck your dick but decline the pussy usually only means boyfriend/other guy or she just got horny in the moment but doesn't want to fuck you. Most girls who will suck you will fuck you.
-I've found the best way to frame the sexual topics are jokingly and through ross jefferies neurolinguistic programming shit, it comes across as funny, clever, and it works.
-Over time you will find what works for you. What works for me, might not work for the next guy and vice versa. That is just game. If you are rocker and said girl loves rockers you can fuck that girl with zero game. You could be a hipster with the tightest game but you're not going anywhere.

-Matt C also gave good advice, don't chase for the date
-Good luck on figuring shit out, please do tell us how it works out and what u did. Don't feel bad if you don't fuck her, it is easier to fuck 3 new girls from scratch than recover from 1 who has decided not to fuck you.

[theIVth]

All of this "oh, she fucked other guys without a relationship so she's just playing you by not fucking you without one" shit is lame. This man shouldnt be made to feel inferior to whatever lucky dudes were able to fuck this chick when she was naive. All this man can do is try to fuck and see if she will. Ultimately, its really nothing too unique that one man can do to turn a woman on that another cant do. Its just whoever she chooses. Most of the time its all about timing. If she doesnt fuck on date 3, next her ass if you really dont like her like that. But dont go cold and try to "reframe", drawing the process out and sitting back lowkey hoping everything is different and that she even answers some lame text after disappearing and then reappearing. Take her ass out again, try to fuck and then move on if she doesnt. If you leave a good enough impression on her she'll hit you back once and IF she realizes that she fucked up by not getting down with you.

Thats what I would do.

[Samseau]

First off, tell her you would never consider a relationship with any girl who refuses to satisfy you as a man.

Second, stop being so damn needy for her attention. It's clear she has the upper hand. Wait a while, hit her up again, but don't give any contact in the meantime.

Third, your odds of banging her I estimate are less than 10%. Things are not looking good for you.

Fourth, if she got pumped and dumped before she will get pumped and dumped agian. Do NOT buy her bullshit about her changing, it's a lie, women like (most western women in the world) that do not change until they are well past their mid-twenties. And even then they'll still have same night lays.

Fifth, your next date should be in a sex location. Stop pussy footing around the issue. You don't need to take her to a park, you need to watch a movie in your room with her and fuck her good.

[poutsara]

(02-06-2013 02:31 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  

To make a long story short... I escalated in my car in a private area.
...The most I got was her top off and a blow job. ...She told me she's been a fuck buddy in the past before, and doesn't want to do it again.....She told me she is looking for a relationship. I told her I can't make any promises.

Second date blowjob is just fine. If she won't have sex, then keep the blowjobs. Make her the blowjob girl first if you have to. Get her to do it the right way, the way you want it. See how many times she can get you off in an evening. Try for six as a goal and then break that record.

She wants a relationship? Give it to her. You are 19. What could this possible mean? This "relationship" may just require a few texts and phone calls and several more blowjobs. I think you can handle this.

She won't be someones fuck buddy again? Oh yes she will. In fact, she will be yours.

[Nascimento]

The current plan I have decided on is to just wait it out, and under no circumstance will I text her until Sunday, leaving the last time I texted her (and having her reply, meaning she had the last text) be this past Wednesday.

I will text her once, something humorous to ellicit a response. Monday, I will text her to arrange a meet up Tuesday or Wednesday. I will keep texting to the absolute minimum. Pending all goes well, we will go out, do some fun activity, up to this point no escalation from me whatsoever. Then I will isolate her somewhere in my car and play it by ear. Will actually try to freeze out this time, and if she pulls the relationship card on me again, I will say something along the lines up what Samseau mentioned 'not with a woman that refuses to meet my needs as a man.' And I will be 100% willing to just take her back home on the spot.

All this is a draft really. Might not even happen at all, and I am not going to depend on it. Who knows, I might meet another woman this weekend and take her out instead.I think the most important thing for me to get out of this whole thing, is how to act when the situation arises again.

But as of now, this is what I will do.

What do you guys think?

[reino341]

(02-07-2013 11:36 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

Pending all goes well, we will go out, do some fun activity, up to this point no escalation from me whatsoever. Then I will isolate her somewhere in my car and play it by ear.

You should totally escalate before isolating her. Not necessarily make out with her but set a sexual frame as early as possible. Some sexual tension needs to build up throughout the 'date', otherwise your attempts to finally escalate in the "sex location" will be futile.

And I wouldn't throw that Samseau's line in case she resists. Ultimatums are weak.

[Christian McQueen]

Honestly...I would tell her what she wants to hear, fuck her for a month and then dump her. Sounds cruel? Probably, but then again I get a kick out of getting women wrapped up MENTALLY.