I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Arizona, and it turns out some girl licked his ass last night after the superbowl...
I am telling you guys right now, I will NEVER, EVER, let a woman put her lips on my anus.
This is my typical daily gas schedule:
6:30: Alarm goes off. I immediately blast out a fart from overnight
7:00: Shower. I will let out 2 long, huge farts that I can smell really good because my shower is small
8:00 Subway. I will let slow gas come out under my beta pea coat that I wear to work
8:30. Before I walk into my building I open up my pea coat to let any gas out
9:00 I start squirming in my chair at work to let out slow gas, because I sit close to two women
9:30 I run to the bathroom to let out my gigantic, every morning, water splashing back on my balls shit. I check my email, facebook, and sports news on my cell phone while I try to dodge the 7 inch pubes around the toilet rim
11:00 I start feeling gassy again
12:00 Lunch. I'll let a couple blast while I am outside for lunch.
1:15 I start squirming again with gas in my chair
2:00 I take SHIT number two at work. Usually a little bit more runny that shit number 1.
4:00 Uncontrollable gas. I'm hungry, it's late, and I'm anxious to leave
5:15 Subway. I will rip slow farts all the way back to brooklyn.
6:00 Home. As soon as I walk in the door I will drop a sloppy, 15 second fart, with tiny shit remnants left behind in my undies
7:00 I will let a couple slip out in the gym
8:00 Fart outloud on the couch several times while watching television
11:00 Try to shit one more time before bed, 25% chance of feces coming out.
11:30 I'll try to fart as much as possible before I turn off the lights.
I'm curious what everyone else thinks about this topic?
I am telling you guys right now, I will NEVER, EVER, let a woman put her lips on my anus.
This is my typical daily gas schedule:
6:30: Alarm goes off. I immediately blast out a fart from overnight
7:00: Shower. I will let out 2 long, huge farts that I can smell really good because my shower is small
8:00 Subway. I will let slow gas come out under my beta pea coat that I wear to work
8:30. Before I walk into my building I open up my pea coat to let any gas out
9:00 I start squirming in my chair at work to let out slow gas, because I sit close to two women
9:30 I run to the bathroom to let out my gigantic, every morning, water splashing back on my balls shit. I check my email, facebook, and sports news on my cell phone while I try to dodge the 7 inch pubes around the toilet rim
11:00 I start feeling gassy again
12:00 Lunch. I'll let a couple blast while I am outside for lunch.
1:15 I start squirming again with gas in my chair
2:00 I take SHIT number two at work. Usually a little bit more runny that shit number 1.
4:00 Uncontrollable gas. I'm hungry, it's late, and I'm anxious to leave
5:15 Subway. I will rip slow farts all the way back to brooklyn.
6:00 Home. As soon as I walk in the door I will drop a sloppy, 15 second fart, with tiny shit remnants left behind in my undies
7:00 I will let a couple slip out in the gym
8:00 Fart outloud on the couch several times while watching television
11:00 Try to shit one more time before bed, 25% chance of feces coming out.
11:30 I'll try to fart as much as possible before I turn off the lights.
I'm curious what everyone else thinks about this topic?