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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
04-17-2010, 05:57 PM
Good thread.
You guys have raised a lot of interesting thoughts. Personally, I think seduction is boring, too much like a job, and wastes a lot of time. I think if more guys game, fewer chicks will remain pure while becoming more aware of player tricks. A good pickup line is not so effective if a chick has heard it 10 times, for example. More girls would be good and STD rates would fall if more guys became monks or got married. I think there would be less competition if there were fewer single men. Honestly, seduction should be more of a secret. The world is already a cockfest, anyway. There are millions more men than women worldwide!
http://socyberty.com/issues/the-imbalanc...ale-ratio/
I also don't see the attraction of having kids. I think the world is too crowded already and I don't
think the planet is a happy place because of war, crime, taxes, pollution, sickness, hassles, and death. Kids really are expensive, annoying, worthless ball and chains, too.
Just my $.02.
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
04-18-2010, 03:53 AM
I am constantly chasing girlfriends, and all I wind up with is notches.
Maybe I need a therapist, or you cats can help. I have Girl ADHD.
I don't want to keep this up. I have a new girl every 3 to 5 days until I find something about her that pisses me off. Usually it is completely nonsensical bullshit, too. The one tonight that I swooped Thursday, I ran off over the stupidest crap.
What made the nonsense she was yapping even more unbearable was the dancer on my text saying she wants to come over since the club was slow. I could have put up with the stories about bullshit and lived happily ever after with the girl, but at the moment I figured "maybe the next one will be better."
You rack up too many notches, landing a solid girlfriend gets tough, because you know there's better out there.
Instead of sitting down and thinking about why I keep doing this, or seeking advice from guys like my dad or my uncles, some damn stripper is going to come over and blow me and the cycle will continue.
I'm so extremely family oriented it's unreal. 'Ohana is the most important thing in my life. I'm never going to be able to carry on the name like this.
Help me out.
Aloha!
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
04-18-2010, 04:45 AM
The first time I ever had sex was on my wedding night. I could have been happy with having
sex with one girl my whole life, but when my wife divorced me I stopped trusting girls. What I might do now is have a relationship with a girl for a few years until the relationship collapses and then find a new one. This way I
will have a little variety in my life without becoming too angry, bitter, and jaded and hurting too many chicks. I would rather keep a relationship going until it dies instead of dumping someone for no reason and feeling guilty. Maybe having sex with 10 good girls in a lifetime is better than screwing 10 sluts in a year.
I don't know.
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04-19-2010, 10:23 PM
Weblinks: good link. Gotta go to Latvia/Estonia/Ukraine! That's a pretty major gender imbalance in our favor.
How did you manage to wait until your wedding night to have sex? I'm curious because I honestly have no idea what that kind of relationship would look like. Were you guys basically friends who decided to get married? Or did you simply get a shit-ton of head?
Kona: I know a lot of dudes here would kill to have your lifestyle, especially after seeing some of your pics. It sounds like for you, picking up 8s, 9s and 10s is so easy that laziness is simply not a factor for you, like it is for many of us, which is why you've racked to "too many notches" to have a steady g/f.
As for the ADHD, it reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry breaks up with his girl because she eats her peas one-at-a-time.
There are different styles of therapy, depending on what you're trying to achieve. I know people that have gone to therapy to do the reverse of what you're trying to do! It could work, or at least it should definitely help but it takes commitment.
However, it sounds like you're still somewhat "content" with how things are, where the motivation to do a sea-change to break the cycle is not quite there. I say this because it sounds like you know some simple things you can do like talk to your dad and uncles, but are just not doing it.
Maybe you are still getting it out of your system?
Making these kinds of changes after years of going through the same cycle is tough, and in my experience requires a kind of tipping point where you're so fed up and depressed that you know you HAVE to change.
Anthony Robbins explains it in a way that motivates me. He says that the most important moment is the moment of true decision. Instead of taking the path of least cognitive resistance constantly like most people, be strong and make the irreversible decision to change and immediately identify actionable steps and take them towards small goals which lead to big goals. Build momentum from there. Everything starts with the moment of true decision.
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
04-20-2010, 12:29 AM
Kona maybe you should go to the Peruvian Amazon and take an Ayahuasca ceremony with some shamans, I am sure some psycho/spiritual evolution will come as a result.
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
04-22-2010, 07:21 AM
I come from a religious family, so waiting for sex was easy. In fact, I wish I
would've have waited longer. My life has really gone downhill since I started having sex.
If anyone wants to get out of the player lifestyle, I suggest finding a new hobby. Think of all
the hazards of seduction like venereal diseases and pregnancy and think off all the good things you
could have time for if you stopped gaming. Maybe you could make a million dollars, make a movie, or run for mayor. How many guys become famous for screwing 100 or 200 girls? Wouldn't you be rather known for doing something good instead of dying unknown?
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04-29-2010, 01:21 PM
Weblinks I think you are preaching to the wrong crowd...however I do see what you mean.
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04-30-2010, 04:10 AM
Sorry I haven't really read much on this thread, I'm super tired and I'll come back and read it tomorrow, about to go to bed right now. But....
Where I live is pretty damn hard to pull a lot of girls being the guy to girl ratio is horrible and it's a small town. Sometimes I'll just swoop one of the hottest chicks in town and wait for her to leave in 4 months because she is usually south american and only in town for 4 months. Meanwhile I cheat on her when I get the chances and think she won't find out, unless she's a real cool chick that I would probably date in a city even. Sometimes doing the girlfriend thing is the best bet in my situation. I'm not trying to go more than a month without getting laid. When I move to the city, my whole way of dating/picking up is going to be totally different.
Valeu!
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
05-01-2010, 01:11 AM
I would be careful about writing a book about banging 1000 chicks. I heard of a guy who was a given a payment by a book publisher to write a book about screwing up his life. The author said the the worse his life went, the better his book became. He finally had to give up the book and return the
money because he said he would be dead if he continued it.
I also heard of a girl who wrote a memoir about slutting around and said she should settle down because the more you continue the swinging lifestyle, the more likely you are to marry someone
just like yourself.
If a person still intends on wrecking his life to write a book, however, I suggest reading "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs.
http://dir.salon.com/mwt/feature/2003/07...print.html
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05-04-2010, 10:09 PM
My goal is connections on a deeper level then just sex, so i am firmly in favor with the girlfriends model. Sex is easy as long as you arent a total fool, or have a grotesque deformity. When you have a buffet in front of you, you sample everything you can at the start, but by the end, you are settling down for the things that you really enjoy.
I no longer get an ego boost or any sort of good feeling from bedding retarded party girls, no matter how hot they are, or a very small one. For me, it is much more fulfilling to screen my girls and find girls that i truly enjoy spending time with and stick with them. Doesnt mean i dont go out crusin for pussy once in a while, but its just much more satisfying for me to spend time with a chick, understanding who she is, and find that she compliments myself in a great way.
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
05-04-2010, 10:42 PM
This is why I think monogamy is natural. In theory, most guys would like to have
sex with a lot of chicks. In reality, I think most people settle down with one person.
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05-05-2010, 06:23 AM
I like this thread and topic. I also think that both being in relationship and single careless freedom is good. The more women Ive banged, the less I care to get another meaningless notch and for me quality sex is alot about having more than one night stands. That said, I agree with the post of keeping it going, its really contra intuitive, but was totally like that the best part of my last relationship, the more I changed that, the more it fucked up, that said, she is def. also a women with serious issues, so might be different with other women.
I see flirting, dating, banging as in between fun and enjoyment, with a openess to find a good women worth keeping, but Im 34, so things are offcourse not the same as 25..
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Constantly chasing notches vs. having girlfriends
05-05-2010, 08:38 AM
I have always been a relationship guy. Even though I am depressed when I am in a relationship, I am really depressed when I am not. When I have sex with random girls, I keep comparing them to
my ex-wife or my girlfriend. I wonder why random chicks can't be more like the girls I have had long-term relationships with. My girlfriend now is not perfect, but she is conservative and is hard-working. When I
cheated on her I really saw what a great catch my GF is and I now live with guilt. There are a lot of slutty bad girls out there.
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01-26-2011, 09:19 PM
I wanted to bump this thread to bring up the topic of MLTR's with American chicks. Who has done this successfully and what would you recommend?
Specifically I'm looking for advice on whether they should know I'm in other relationships or if it should be more of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.
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01-27-2011, 12:09 PM
Good post.. I agree with the tradeoffs and I also have been seeying one for a while.. mostly since Im pretty FUBAR when it comes to finding women I can stand for longer periods of time. So I am giving her a chance..
Its really alot also about vulnerability... most PUA´s are insecure boys playing tough as I see it.. pussy is the best drug to numb yourself from love... my hardest fucking dating periods, was the periods I was trying hardest to be unattainable emotional and I think there is a truth to sleeping with 100´s to avoid being loved by one..
But the profound thing is the vulnerability.. I dont know enough about it.. but without risc and investment, no possibility for great gains..
Alot of stuff about this women isnt my "standard" etc etc, but maybe Im starting to see that life isnt what I want it to be, and people wont be perfect, like I sure as hell aint either, so its either live in solitude or give in, surrender to another person and give them power to hurt you, but also have someone who actually cares for you and know you, way better than any fuck date will do...
Life is life and will pass you while you wait for the perfect moment, person or drown yourself in the endless sea of pussy..
"Rochester: But life is not a succession of urgent "nows". It's a listless trickle of "why should I's". Libertine