[gringoed]

Maybe I've simply gamed too many unattainable 18 y/o Cordobesas, but this is a post I've wanted to make for a little while now.

In the spirit of Roosh's recent quasi-disillusionment with game, I want to throw up some ideas that seem to go largely unspoken on this forum and the game community in general. The almighty notch is not all that there is unless girls are just a competitive "game" for you. If that's all you're about, fine, more power to you I'm not a hater. I understand there are dudes like this but, seriously, what's the real point fellas? There are also guys out there that get bored very easily and like to move on. I wonder if the difference is the quality of girls you're meeting?




Why having great girlfriends >= PUA lifestyle

Looking back, my most satisfying memories with women have been with the awesome girlfriends that I've had. I've had years where I only got 1-2 notches that were far more satisfying in terms of girls than years where I got several. Here are some of the benefits I think to choosing this type of end game.

1. You get way more sex.

If you're not getting laid at least every week, you're either married, single, or there's something wrong with you or the girl.


2. The sex becomes more satisfying over time.

For me, this trend lasts 6 months or so. I dont think it can last forever and when you know it's going downhill it's time to end the relationship. Most girls I've banged are virtually clueless in bed at the beginning, but they always learn if you teach them. For example, most girls dont know hot to give good head to completion without it turning into a handjob. Do yourself and the world a service and teach them! You can never get a girl to do exactly what you want in bed without investing some time in them.


3. You don't have to be "on" all the time.

If some gel isn't in your hair one day, don't fret. If you're feeling depressed another day, just watch a movie with her instead of going out. You will still get laid. Maybe you can put some of that extra time/energy into that film project in the back of your closet...


4. It's healthier.

You are under less stress, you drink less, the intimacy is psychologically beneficial, plus at the end of the day you still have some respect for women as unique human beings.


5. All the things you already know about from watching Hollywood movies.

You aren't lonely if you dont want to be; you learn more about yourself; you can spend your money in a more meaningful way; she might be able to teach you something; yadda yadda yadda.

[gringoed]

Gringoed's pocket guide to getting and maintaining great girlfriends:


Getting them:

1. Look for girls that are moderately attractive with great personalities. High enough to keep you interested, but low enough so that you have higher value and so that she actually has a likeable personality.
2. Pretty standard game, although I recommend picking up outside the bar. Social circle is money. Don't use this endgame as an excuse to have weak game.
3. Get the fast bang, but not so fast that she regrets it the next day. Hopefully she is naturally horny, then you can set the tone as a sexual relationship first.
4. Follow up after the bang, and reward them for good behavior. Chocolates work great. I love giving a girl a chocolate right after a bang/blowjob ("to get rid of the cum taste")-- that stuff has a powerful effect on girls brains.


Maintaining them:

1. Keep your value higher than hers.
2. Don't see her too much, and keep meeting other girls. This is very important.
3. If you are going to cheat, be smart about it. All you need is common sense, and watch out for Facebook.
4. Don't be afriad to to break up with her if it needs to be done. Even if you have to, usually the girl shapes up and comes back the way you need her to.
5. Don't commit to exclusivity, unless as a last resort. If you HAVE to do this, don't worry you can still cheat.
6. Avoid labeling the relationship, to keep her feeling insecure. Security is what she wants and the more you give her, the more leverage she has over you. Always introduce her as your "friend." If she keeps asking what she is to you, tell her that labels are bad for a relationship and it's better to let it be. It is what it is.
7. Don't tell her you love her. Say that she's special and all that fluff but don't tell her you love her.
8. Stay cocky and alpha. Let your cocky attitude be her challenge.
9. Don't tolerate drama. Life is too short for that shit.

[gringoed]

oops meant to put this in the "Girls" forum

[OGNorCal707]

Yeah this post should def be in the "girls" forum, but anyways I basically agree with everything you're saying. There are definitely different factors that play into this, like how tight is your game, are you a straight up player that has a "stable" of fine honeys to choose from or are you an "AFC" (average frustrated chump), are you really into your girl (is she cute, cool, not crazy, etc.) I personally think it would be kind of retarded to pump and dump a fine honey with the hopes of pulling a bunch of other chicks, only to come up short with nothing, but variety is the spice of life, so if you can, why not?

[lilseezie]

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Okay fine, a girlfriend is great now and then, but whatever you do don't marry the broad.

-LS

[gringoed]

And whatever you do don't get her pregnant

*shutter*

[hydrogonian]

(04-13-2010 08:28 PM)gringoed Wrote:  

And whatever you do don't get her pregnant

*shutter*

Ugh. Word.

I think the only benefit to NOT having a girlfriend, and being a player, is that you can bang chicks that you don't click with that well and not have to have any more commitment. That is, players can better avoid relationships with girls they don't like. Whereas chodes tend to have the compulsion settle with girls because they desire easier access to sex.

But if you really like a girl, then there is little disadvantage to not at least being in a relationship for a little bit. There are a lot of benefits, in terms of lifestyle and overall fulfillment, to being in a relationship with a quality girl that you like. If you like her, and she's hot, you wills still go through bored spells but will be less likely to cheat on her. This is because its generally hard to find a true girlfriend worthy girl. When you do, if you have some game to begin with, it should be hard to find a girl who can compare. That is, the average bar bunny or club slut won't have anything on a players girlfriend.

The only danger is when she starts to want things that you don't: like an engagement. But the relationship is still worthwhile, even if it doesn't work out in the long term, imo.

BTW, there is nothing wrong with saying the L word after a while, if its true. Loving people is a gift to them and the world, and even if your only in there life for a little bit, conveying love to them will greatly enhance their life and probably yours. That doesn't mean that they own you or you own them, or that you can't leave her. Its just free love. Give it without expectation or need of it being returned. If you do that, it likely will be returned. Personally, I'd rather leave this world having broken many hearts then never having gotten truly close with anyone, by fault of never having expressed love as an adult. Just my opinion.

Just make sure you are expressing it after you are close with her, and not prematurely in the relationship, to avoid it uncomfortably not being reciprocated. 5-6 months tends to be a good benchmark, for that expression, in a healthy relationship. And don't tell her, for the first time, as you plow her. Girls generally don't trust that.

[kerouac]

Having sex available to you all the time is a great thing, and true having a girlfriend will give you that, but having choice is also another great thing. It all comes down to whether you want choice or if you want consistent sex.

At this point in my life I can say that I am happy being single and being able to do what I want. When you have a girlfriend this possibility slowly diminishes... their influence over your life perpetually increases.

The best of both worlds is to have a few fuck buddies. Your sexual relationship grows over time, but at the same time you maintain a level of freedom. Easier said than done, of course.

[laowai]

I prefer girlfriends, but to get the kind of girlfriends that I think are worth some sort of commitment to (i.e. the "best" girls), you need to be the kind of guy that is capable of meeting and having sex with lots of other girls...

[speakeasy]

(04-14-2010 12:14 AM)kerouac Wrote:  

At this point in my life I can say that I am happy being single and being able to do what I want. When you have a girlfriend this possibility slowly diminishes... their influence over your life perpetually increases.

Well put, that's exactly how I feel.

[Willy Wonka]

I agree with pretty much everything gringoed said on here....

It's definitely nice to have a main chick that you enjoy being with and like hanging out with.

[Rocco81]

Sure I agree too Willy. There is something wrong with a dude that truly needs to "Game" every girl he meets. Human interaction is great and love is great. I think the largest thing any man should get from these forums, is just self confidence and understanding the power dynamic of men and women.

Some guys take this shit waaaaay to far. Remember the whole "game" made into modern popular television shows and shit, was really all about teaching nerds, herbs, and basically cool but shy guys to talk to women. Once these guys grab their first peice of ass or two and get their confidence up (sometimes for the first time in thier lives) that is all the gaming they need. Mission accomplished. Once some of these guys feel comfortable with who they are as people, then that is the biggest hurdle and its all down hill from there.

Finally, with all these fucking web blogs, radio spots, television shows, girls are onto the "game" as much as ever..so guys are forced to make their own moves now...the whole props, magic tricks, boring lines are all played now. You got to do you for once, which is the whole point to any game at its core.

[hydrogonian]

(04-14-2010 05:02 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(04-14-2010 12:14 AM)kerouac Wrote:  

At this point in my life I can say that I am happy being single and being able to do what I want. When you have a girlfriend this possibility slowly diminishes... their influence over your life perpetually increases.

Well put, that's exactly how I feel.

True. I think theres a sweet spot, in terms of duration, with relationships. After which, unless you've found your 'soul mate' (whatever the hell that means) your going to realize diminishing returns. That usually means that your progressively expected to give more (usually commitment related stuff) without seeing an increase in what you are given.

Unless you can't live without her, or want kids, its probably best to bail at one year or before. But that timeline is completely personal to ones situation, of course.

[lilactag]

can't disagree with what is said above on this thread.
It is a balance: I prefer a hot gf who I crave a lot, than banging regularly chicks with the ocassional HB9, consistency of good sex and actually somebody to talk are winners with a gf.
The balance comes from choosing a gf that is truly a 9 relationship wise and body wise, so you won't miss something else for a long while.
In my case, I have only had 4 gfs in my whole 34 years, the rest are just gaming bangs.

From those gfs, one turned a few years later into my best friend and fuck buddy, because she is a true 9 of an ass. 11 years after meeting her, i still get hard when i see her, now, that is a good proof of her value
All of them are married now, but while our relationships were on, I really didn't need more women, although my wild side detoured me to cheat on all of them bar 1, actually hehe

I would say if you find a perfect match, go along and see where the relationship leads, be positive and enjoy while it lasts keeping on the back of your mind that everything stops at a point and you should have enjoyed the time together and move on. In the special, exceptional cases that it doesn't stop at one point, then you got lucky, but i guess we are all dozens of years away to be able to answer that.

Another perfect solution is what macho societies teach us, like in LAmerica, most upper class males have their stable family, normally with a gorgeous wife for the oficial life, sometimes another family in another city, just not married and then many gfs and lovers. Most of the wifes mature into knowing their husbands are fooling around outside home, but accept it if they get premium respect.

OR
Having an official gf who is so hot and cool, that allows for freedom of action when times are getting monotonous, if you want one of those,I recommend going to the Scandinavian chicks, they are open as long as you are honest to them.
Diametrically opposed to girls in South America, where they won't allow you to be that "honest", in those cases, cheat elegantly and keep everybody happy!

Conclussion: everytime I had a gf was because they were fantastic in every regard and worth my exclusivity to them (even with cheating, i considered myself exclusive to them in the emotional side of things). Meanwhile, just bang and try as many girls as you need, because it is a matter of statistics and probabilities to find a "perfect" one every "x" number of notches.

[Willy Wonka]

(04-14-2010 05:50 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

'soul mate' (whatever the hell that means)

Lol... I love that commercial - Miller Lite: Why Do You Love Me?


Honestly though, I don't think there's such thing as a soul mate, at some point you just decide this girl is good enough, I'm old enough, I don't feel like chasing skirts too much anymore, and she seems like she'd be a good wife and mother. That's the end goal, but not for awhile for me.... until then, I'll bang chicks, rack up notches, start liking a chick or two, try some relationships, drop them at the first sign of trouble and keep doing it over again, until I feel like I'm old enough and I'm ready to actually settle down.

[hydrogonian]

(04-14-2010 06:28 PM)Willy Wonka Wrote:  

(04-14-2010 05:50 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

'soul mate' (whatever the hell that means)

Lol... I love that commercial - Miller Lite: Why Do You Love Me?


Honestly though, I don't think there's such thing as a soul mate, at some point you just decide this girl is good enough, I'm old enough, I don't feel like chasing skirts too much anymore, and she seems like she'd be a good wife and mother. That's the end goal, but not for awhile for me.... until then, I'll bang chicks, rack up notches, start liking a chick or two, try some relationships, drop them at the first sign of trouble and keep doing it over again, until I feel like I'm old enough and I'm ready to actually settle down.

Thats about exactly right, imo. At this point, I can't believe that there is an absolute perfect mate for anyone. But maybe this isn't quite what soulmate means. I think that there will always be incompatibilities, and so all relationships become an exercise in continuous compromise and, to an extent, settling for 'less than perfect'. I think the real test of a persons worth in a relationship is their ability to compromise with the other, as well as not hold onto anger or frustration once a conflict occurs. If you find a female who doesn't do that, then you've won half the battle I think.

I think the time to settle is likely when you get too old / out of shape to pull girls that are within your optimal standards of attractiveness. A guy will then likely realize that his prospects will only get worse from there on out, and he might as well find the coolest and most attractive girl that he can find at that point, and plant the flag. The only exception being if you are aging, in terms of looks and suaveness, like Sean Connery or George Clooney. Then maybe stay free to keep racking them up. Of curse, thats every guys aspiration. Butt we know that won't be every guys reality.

[PartyTime]

(04-13-2010 06:22 AM)gringoed Wrote:  

The almighty notch is not all that there is

Its ironic that a man can only fully understand this once he gets a decent number of noches.

A guy that has 2 noches will never agree with this. But talk to the same guy later in life when his count is somewhere over 30, and he will agree

[Rocco81]

I go back and forth on this one PT. I mean I have more than my share of notches...but sometimes I do agree it gets old and becomes allot of work. Going out drinking, gaming, chasin poon and shit. At one point I went out Thur-Sat sometimes Wed - Sat and it just got old. Despite getting more ass than ever, I started putting on a beer gut, work was like 2nd place to getting laid and drinking, I was hemorraging cash like crazy, other hobbies and interests I had went to the back burner and life was just about sex drugs and rock n roll. That is great for a little while but the problem is it cannot last forever.

Understand this: I still think everyman should go through the wild night life and the various women...hell I think even when you are in a relationship you need to cut loose and have some bash's without the girl. I just know that everythig has a middle ground. If you game your ass off forever (atleast the way I did it) you will end up with kids, debt, alchohol and or drug problems. Of course the flip side to this, is the 25 y/o with kids, wife, boring life, waiting for retirement. You need a middle ground.

[UgSlayer]

Every guy needs to go through a notch-chasing phase to go experience different types of women and to determine what he likes and what he doesn't like in women. It helps the screening process immensely. The period of time this takes varies from one man to the other. I think guys either get burnt out from too much partying/chasing and then focus on finding quality rather than quantity.

Gringoed is either reaching this place, or Cordoba is seriously getting to him.

[doriangray]

(04-15-2010 10:31 AM)Rocco81 Wrote:  

I go back and forth on this one PT. I mean I have more than my share of notches...but sometimes I do agree it gets old and becomes allot of work. Going out drinking, gaming, chasin poon and shit. At one point I went out Thur-Sat sometimes Wed - Sat and it just got old. Despite getting more ass than ever, I started putting on a beer gut, work was like 2nd place to getting laid and drinking, I was hemorraging cash like crazy, other hobbies and interests I had went to the back burner and life was just about sex drugs and rock n roll. That is great for a little while but the problem is it cannot last forever.

Understand this: I still think everyman should go through the wild night life and the various women...hell I think even when you are in a relationship you need to cut loose and have some bash's without the girl. I just know that everythig has a middle ground. If you game your ass off forever (atleast the way I did it) you will end up with kids, debt, alchohol and or drug problems. Of course the flip side to this, is the 25 y/o with kids, wife, boring life, waiting for retirement. You need a middle ground.

I'm there with you!

Someone else said that aging Connery style and racking up notches till your death bed would be every guy`s dream. I don`t think so. At least for me having a wife and kids at some point is important. But just like Rocco81 noted, you gotta do some heavy partying at some point of your life to be able to enjoy the calm things.

Willy Wonka stated that at this point of his life, he's gonna bail from a relationship when the first problem arises. Maybe that's ok for a while, but I am warning you, my friend. If you don't want to face problems, you're going the wrong way. But I guess the key here is to have enough experience to know which problems are actual deal breakers and which are just a minor discomfort. The bottom line is that there`s no perfect partnet.

Then again, what do I know. Paolo Coelho stated about the meaning of life somewhere along the lines that once you finally start to grab the idea and the meaning, you're too old to actually do anything any more, but you'll appreciate all the things you've done so far. That's, of course, if you have played your cards right.

[La Familia]

Maybe it's because I am young, and just got out of a 2 year relationship. The thrill of chasing and succeeding drives me all the time. With all the benefits that come with a relationship, you start feeling nostalgic about being driven to achieve a goal you set out for the night. Eventually, as many of you guys have said, this will burn out. I'm just riding the wave until it crashes, then begins the relationship process.

[gringoed]

I completely agree with you guys about the importance of going out and gaming/banging tons of chicks at first.

I think one of the reasons that so many marriages fail is that the dudes don't have enough notches and either wonder what they're missing or have a biological urge to spread their seed before it's too late. While that biological urge will probably never disappear, the least you can do before getting married is get that out of your system as much as possible.

The one problem with most girlfriends is they demand exclusivity. Thus, the art of keeping an open relationship or having infidelity.

Does anyone have experience with multiple girlfriends (not fuck-buddies)? It's something I'm working on now and I'd love to hear some experiences.

[connoisseur]

This is one of the best threads on any topic - gaming or otherwise - I've happened upon in a long time.

I haven't even read through the whole thing, but I will leave it up on my screen for the next day or so and gradually read through.

The disproportionate amount of logical and level-headed discussion regarding 'gaming', its core, its fundamentals, and its true purpose, wasn't expected by me on a forum like this. But I think that Roosh's forum has attracted a lot of like-minded chaps ...

game on, brothers ... and by that, I mean keep being happy and grabbing for more happiness, in all realms ...

[Giovonny]

Sometimes its nice to have a steady girl. Other times i want the freedom to chase noches all over town. Sometimes i want a "casual" "open" "friends with benefits" type of situation

The key is doing what makes YOU HAPPY. Don't let anyone (guy or girl) define your happiness or lifetyle.

My brother is married with kids and very happy. But he tells me not to do it because he knows me and knows i will hate it.

Do whatever you like just do WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

What makes me happy is working on 3-5 young girls at a time and hopefully banging one or two of them every other month or so. Once i have 2 steady bangs i forget about the rest and just enjoy my stable of 2. More then that is too much work for me. When i lose 1 of my 2 or both I start approaching hard again.

[hydrogonian]

(04-15-2010 03:30 PM)doriangray Wrote:  

Someone else said that aging Connery style and racking up notches till your death bed would be every guy`s dream. I don`t think so. At least for me having a wife and kids at some point is important. But just like Rocco81 noted, you gotta do some heavy partying at some point of your life to be able to enjoy the calm things.

I didn't say it would be every guys dream. I just implied that most men are as faithful as their options. Usually men that claim that this isn't the case, and that they choose monogamy, aren't being completely honest about their options.

While there are some very rare women that are just so cool in every way that a man would be stupid not to try and tie them down; those women are so rare in my observation so as to negate the legitimacy of 99% of male claims that they prefer to settle down despite all the other trim that they could continuously get throughout their lives. Therefore, most men are as faithful as their options.

Also, banging a hot girl occasionally doesn't count as having a lot of options. Being able to seduce and bang hot girls, pretty much 'at will', does.

Kids are another thing. If thats your dream, then monogamy is the best bet. But to me, thats a dream separate from the basic lifestyle undercurrent of this board. Its a legitimate desire, but I don't consider it when posting an opinion. It helps that kids aren't my dream.

But I understand that some men get good at 'game' to find a higher quality woman that they can then settle down with, and that those men probably will want kids, and that those men come here to help make that dream come true.