Hi,
I would greatly appreciate your competence in this a bit twisted situation.
I met a girl 6 weeks ago in a nightclub. After exchanging numbers (i was talking to other girls and had a good time) we met up two weeks later. Meaning that we have spent about three weeks together in reality.
She seems grounded, is smart, and a very good-looking girl. I would rate her a hard 8She isn't the typical party girl and said herself she has other priorities, which gave me the impression she isn't necessarily show-off or slutty. Also, she keeps her FB profile minimalistic, not many pictures (to be changed, see below). I have a cool crib, good expat job,
and often get attention from other girls, something she has noted herself.
Over the past weeks we have had good, fun dates and activities. I supported her for a moment when she had a medical problem (just being there, but not beta hugging and lots of talking) which she said she appreciated a lot "you are special, too good to be true"
Sex is great. Im constantly elevating it, but am also being a bit cautious not to become too much of a lover, but also having more of a romantic touch, in the sense that she doesnt percieve our sexual life as too much of the "fuck buddy" kind, but also on a passionate plane.
She has blurted out that Im her 2nd half, and from the 30+ girls I have dated during the 18 months living here, she is by far the nicest. There is definitely chemistry.
She told me she doesnt want to get hurt (maybe a ST?) bc apparently her BF was a real jerk to her. She brought it up two times, I nodded and said "thats too bad, I once also had a bad experience with an ex", but then changed the subject. One time she was shit-testing regarding a guy she had dated with, who wouldn't let go of her (he approached her at the club where we met for the 1st time in a very desperate manner - i just turned around and talked to other girls). At that moment I told her that "this kind of subject is to be had with your girlfriends" and abruptly changed the subject. She got insecure and later asked whether I was angry and said she was sorry for bringing it up and how cool i had been when he approached her. I said "dont sweat it".
Last week I was teasing her during a date, when she asked if my family knew about me (she had told her fam about me) to which I said, grinning, "what makes you think that" ? "Because Im your GF" with a big smile. I just laughed and cheered with my glass. Later that nightshe invited me to join for a road trip, seeing her fam during the weekend.
They "loved me". I even had the cats who are asocial as hell to spin around me and the family dog who "always is hostile" (it was bad ass) follow me around like I was his master. My date said her dad later told her that he never met such an open minded and nice guy. So, all in all she was happy. I said "thats great, but your own feelings count in the whole scheme of things, disregarding of your family. Our connection is what is important". On the way back she mentioned her Ex again, followed by a classic shit test about him becoming a model long ago and changing personality by starting to judge her on the basis of her looks. She said she despised his personality change and him thinking he was the king of the world. I replied in an aloof manner ab not all models being shallow and that my ex also was a model (she was), but then changed the subject. In hindsight, a bit beta supplicating.
She knows my international assignment can take me to another place within months, and has expressed concern since (once again) "dont want to get hurt". I said it was important to me to keep it real, if we felt like it, but also "im an easy going person, lets not worry ab the future, but live now". She agreed, and has been saying that we always can work things out. I have been a bit too pedagogical in my approach and also mentioned friends who had LDRs which now feels like an unnecessary thing to discuss, since we just started dating..too much emotional investment.
Last night we had dinner at my place. i cooked some good food which impressed her. She was 45 mins late, and I was a bit pissed off. She texted sorry, prior to arriving late, and then acted all insecure when she arrived, by sensing I was a bit angry. I did my best not to say anything, but was also not trying to act too naively happy to see her, just keeing a casual attitude. I denied being angry, and just changed the topic when she asked if I was. The mood was quite awkward and after dinner, when drinking wine at the couch she asked me whether I was for real, or treating her as a winter romance - because "I am too good to be true". She often says "I am SOOOO happy", especially during post-coital bliss. I told her I dont play around, and dont waste my time with idiots. DHL'd her saying I had met different kinds of girls, and that most types easily bored me. However, I find her personality warm, her being smart, and a real FOXY girl - and that she should let me show her why I am serious "in my own way. I dont want to dissect and overanalyze things, but focus on having a good time together". I was honest wit her and a bit emotional (dont get me wrong, i didnt cry). She get tear eyed and kissed me lovingly. She started saying how I was an inspiration to her, and how I made her live life to the fullest. After this weekend she decided to take up an old hobby after me qualifying her on several occasion; that such things are important to me.
This morning, while she was showering, I checked her phone (by mistake firstly, because our are the same and were both by the bedside), and saw that she had been texting with her ex a couple of days ago. I recall that they set up some coffee date about the same days we had our 1s date. That is OK I guess. I did bang another girl three weeks ago, before I felt more emotionally invested with her (I know, too early). She was a hard 9 with fake tits hehe.
In her ex-bf convo which reeked of beta texting, she wrote about "sometimes i feel like a little child" and him writing back that he missed her . What made me upset, was that she somehow agreed to meet him on this Friday, when Im gone. It was in the style of "Maybe we can aim for Friday" Just a couple of days ago she brought up the weekend herself, saying she would be seeing a girlfriend on Friday, before leaving to her parents on sat.
1) I can understand that girls want to keep orbiters around them
2) Before our dating got intensified, its fine to "keep in touch" with whomever whenever, i don't care
3) Now, after starting to call me her BF, I dont find it acceptable of her seeing him. I am flat out surprised, and dumbfounded. So typical, even the best girl ive met so far, is gaming
4) being very objective, I don't understand why she even keeps in touch with him, the guy is a total beta. Does history really have such an influence over hurt girls? Sure, if he plays the asshole game, she might be more into him.
Furthermore, I have not been enough alpha for her to cut him off. I feel hurt. In hindsight, I know I could have done better in some situations, but then as a wise man once said. Hindsight can go fuck itself.
Oh, and today she changed her FB profile pic to a hotter.
Now, how to deal with this in the best way possible?
I found G manifestos reply here useful, but we are at a point beyond casual dating, at least in how we discuss "us". http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-5039.h...+boyfriend
also here is a great take, http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/12/1...irlfriend/ also http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/0...-behavior/ but I have a hard time defining whether the end part applies to my situation, since we are dating and sexing "It’s a different story once you’ve been sexing a girl or are in a relationship; at that stage of the fuck cycle, you should establish your dominance when she starts pulling shit on you to test your alpha mettle. Bemused mastery is the alpha attitude women love, and there isn’t much room for indignant anger in that attitude. Especially at the beginning, when neither of you knows each other very well."
What to do now? How to deal with this, and game her into my frame?
We have another date set up for tonight, our "last night together". I was thinking substituting dinner and drinks (i dont want to be a beta provider) for an hour at the shooting range, for my own amusement and also doing sthg off the beaten track with her. Then drinks at my place and lovemaking (keeping in mind heartistes suggestion ab love to fuck ration being 2:1, myself now leaning more to 1:2).
I greatly appreciate your feedback!!
I would greatly appreciate your competence in this a bit twisted situation.
I met a girl 6 weeks ago in a nightclub. After exchanging numbers (i was talking to other girls and had a good time) we met up two weeks later. Meaning that we have spent about three weeks together in reality.
She seems grounded, is smart, and a very good-looking girl. I would rate her a hard 8She isn't the typical party girl and said herself she has other priorities, which gave me the impression she isn't necessarily show-off or slutty. Also, she keeps her FB profile minimalistic, not many pictures (to be changed, see below). I have a cool crib, good expat job,
and often get attention from other girls, something she has noted herself.
Over the past weeks we have had good, fun dates and activities. I supported her for a moment when she had a medical problem (just being there, but not beta hugging and lots of talking) which she said she appreciated a lot "you are special, too good to be true"
Sex is great. Im constantly elevating it, but am also being a bit cautious not to become too much of a lover, but also having more of a romantic touch, in the sense that she doesnt percieve our sexual life as too much of the "fuck buddy" kind, but also on a passionate plane.
She has blurted out that Im her 2nd half, and from the 30+ girls I have dated during the 18 months living here, she is by far the nicest. There is definitely chemistry.
She told me she doesnt want to get hurt (maybe a ST?) bc apparently her BF was a real jerk to her. She brought it up two times, I nodded and said "thats too bad, I once also had a bad experience with an ex", but then changed the subject. One time she was shit-testing regarding a guy she had dated with, who wouldn't let go of her (he approached her at the club where we met for the 1st time in a very desperate manner - i just turned around and talked to other girls). At that moment I told her that "this kind of subject is to be had with your girlfriends" and abruptly changed the subject. She got insecure and later asked whether I was angry and said she was sorry for bringing it up and how cool i had been when he approached her. I said "dont sweat it".
Last week I was teasing her during a date, when she asked if my family knew about me (she had told her fam about me) to which I said, grinning, "what makes you think that" ? "Because Im your GF" with a big smile. I just laughed and cheered with my glass. Later that nightshe invited me to join for a road trip, seeing her fam during the weekend.
They "loved me". I even had the cats who are asocial as hell to spin around me and the family dog who "always is hostile" (it was bad ass) follow me around like I was his master. My date said her dad later told her that he never met such an open minded and nice guy. So, all in all she was happy. I said "thats great, but your own feelings count in the whole scheme of things, disregarding of your family. Our connection is what is important". On the way back she mentioned her Ex again, followed by a classic shit test about him becoming a model long ago and changing personality by starting to judge her on the basis of her looks. She said she despised his personality change and him thinking he was the king of the world. I replied in an aloof manner ab not all models being shallow and that my ex also was a model (she was), but then changed the subject. In hindsight, a bit beta supplicating.
She knows my international assignment can take me to another place within months, and has expressed concern since (once again) "dont want to get hurt". I said it was important to me to keep it real, if we felt like it, but also "im an easy going person, lets not worry ab the future, but live now". She agreed, and has been saying that we always can work things out. I have been a bit too pedagogical in my approach and also mentioned friends who had LDRs which now feels like an unnecessary thing to discuss, since we just started dating..too much emotional investment.
Last night we had dinner at my place. i cooked some good food which impressed her. She was 45 mins late, and I was a bit pissed off. She texted sorry, prior to arriving late, and then acted all insecure when she arrived, by sensing I was a bit angry. I did my best not to say anything, but was also not trying to act too naively happy to see her, just keeing a casual attitude. I denied being angry, and just changed the topic when she asked if I was. The mood was quite awkward and after dinner, when drinking wine at the couch she asked me whether I was for real, or treating her as a winter romance - because "I am too good to be true". She often says "I am SOOOO happy", especially during post-coital bliss. I told her I dont play around, and dont waste my time with idiots. DHL'd her saying I had met different kinds of girls, and that most types easily bored me. However, I find her personality warm, her being smart, and a real FOXY girl - and that she should let me show her why I am serious "in my own way. I dont want to dissect and overanalyze things, but focus on having a good time together". I was honest wit her and a bit emotional (dont get me wrong, i didnt cry). She get tear eyed and kissed me lovingly. She started saying how I was an inspiration to her, and how I made her live life to the fullest. After this weekend she decided to take up an old hobby after me qualifying her on several occasion; that such things are important to me.
This morning, while she was showering, I checked her phone (by mistake firstly, because our are the same and were both by the bedside), and saw that she had been texting with her ex a couple of days ago. I recall that they set up some coffee date about the same days we had our 1s date. That is OK I guess. I did bang another girl three weeks ago, before I felt more emotionally invested with her (I know, too early). She was a hard 9 with fake tits hehe.
In her ex-bf convo which reeked of beta texting, she wrote about "sometimes i feel like a little child" and him writing back that he missed her . What made me upset, was that she somehow agreed to meet him on this Friday, when Im gone. It was in the style of "Maybe we can aim for Friday" Just a couple of days ago she brought up the weekend herself, saying she would be seeing a girlfriend on Friday, before leaving to her parents on sat.
1) I can understand that girls want to keep orbiters around them
2) Before our dating got intensified, its fine to "keep in touch" with whomever whenever, i don't care
3) Now, after starting to call me her BF, I dont find it acceptable of her seeing him. I am flat out surprised, and dumbfounded. So typical, even the best girl ive met so far, is gaming
4) being very objective, I don't understand why she even keeps in touch with him, the guy is a total beta. Does history really have such an influence over hurt girls? Sure, if he plays the asshole game, she might be more into him.
Furthermore, I have not been enough alpha for her to cut him off. I feel hurt. In hindsight, I know I could have done better in some situations, but then as a wise man once said. Hindsight can go fuck itself.
Oh, and today she changed her FB profile pic to a hotter.
Now, how to deal with this in the best way possible?
I found G manifestos reply here useful, but we are at a point beyond casual dating, at least in how we discuss "us". http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-5039.h...+boyfriend
also here is a great take, http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/12/1...irlfriend/ also http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/0...-behavior/ but I have a hard time defining whether the end part applies to my situation, since we are dating and sexing "It’s a different story once you’ve been sexing a girl or are in a relationship; at that stage of the fuck cycle, you should establish your dominance when she starts pulling shit on you to test your alpha mettle. Bemused mastery is the alpha attitude women love, and there isn’t much room for indignant anger in that attitude. Especially at the beginning, when neither of you knows each other very well."
What to do now? How to deal with this, and game her into my frame?
We have another date set up for tonight, our "last night together". I was thinking substituting dinner and drinks (i dont want to be a beta provider) for an hour at the shooting range, for my own amusement and also doing sthg off the beaten track with her. Then drinks at my place and lovemaking (keeping in mind heartistes suggestion ab love to fuck ration being 2:1, myself now leaning more to 1:2).
I greatly appreciate your feedback!!