How Was Your 2012?
12-27-2012, 01:49 AM
2012 has been the most eventful year of my life. i lost my virginity and racked up 7 notches in total.
has it been the happiest year of my life? i'm not sure. despite the achievement i don't feel overjoyed by the sex and the notches. a part of me thinks i honestly could have and should have done better. another part of me knows that i hold myself to unreasonable standards and am never satisfied.
what i'm left feeling then is that my real accomplishment for 2012 has been a successful movement towards becoming the 'normal', cool, socially developed person i had always wanted to be and that was waiting to come out. the heavy despair and ache that came with being a 20-something virgin has been blasted away completely. i am so much more confident and relaxed. a lot of my anxiety and self-doubt issues are gone or greatly diminished. for the first time in my life i feel neutral, and not bad.
now here are a bunch of opinions/observations/concerns on pickup that my experience has led me to arrive at:
- confidence and proficiency in a social skill, such as picking up girls, is built primarily through positive reference experiences. we know that confidence cannot be willed, but at the same time i can't agree with certain gurus who revere failure as a primary teaching tool and a lot of students in pick up purgatory who view is at some sort of cathartic, character-building experience. the best way to learn how to pull a girl is to successfully pull a girl. this is why it took a whole year in the game to get my first lay, but my second lay came just a week after.
- the best way to improve your game is to run with guys who are good. the high tide raises all boats.
- it is curious that 90% of the women that PUAs bang are 6s. just admit it, you fucked a fat 3.
- the 5 biggest lies and omissions in the pick up industry are the importance of 1) a guy's looks, 2) female availability, 3) female horniness, 4) culture, and 5) persistence/aggression. roosh has been the lone man covering #4. RSD covers #'s 3 & 5 well, while still denying #1. direct daygamers of the london school heavily rely on and exploit #s 2 & 4, but then disingenuously chalk it up to the transcendent power of their game.
- nightgame in toronto is simply not worth the time and effort. if you can daygame, do that instead. if not, be prepared to struggle.
- in toronto i have observed 4 avenues of getting something resembling consistent, actual results through nighttime cold approach: 1) guys aged 31-40 picking up women aged 26-35, 2) guys in the top 5% of looks (8.5+) picking up women in the 6-8 range, 3) using RSD-style approach-monkey tactics 4 or more nights a week, 4) picking up young south american girls at the madison pub using regular game.
- no set opens better than a seated set. i have seen this time and time again.
- asians girls open the coldest, jewish girls the friendliest.
- i am disappointed by hipsters. in my loner days i envisioned hipsters as an enlightened fringe that i could identify with and be accepted into. but having interacted with them furrealz i see them as nothing but braindead sheeple. hipsterdom is really being mainstreamed among urban whites. strangely i now respect more the purportedly baser elements of young adult culture, such as, say, a guido clubber brah; as corny as his bulging biceps might come across, at least they're the product of hard work and discipline, which can't be said of your standard issue hipster fag.
- the starting points of cold approach playerdom are 1) logistics and 2) time. if you don't have both handled then don't even bother. don't expect any decent measure of results if you can't put in going out 3 nights a week - 3 nights a week already being impractical for the average upstanding citizen. cold approach is by its nature a very unnatural lifestyle for almost all but an array of the usual suspects - students, the unemployed, IT contractors, writers, marketers, instructors, etc. the main reason an instructor is so good is that he can go out 7 nights a week and not have to wake up at 6am. the main difference between him and you is just a couple thousand approaches.
- the foundation of cold approaching itself is state. it's 75% of the battle. it's best to reframe your night as a process of getting into and maintaining state.
- suit game: don't believe the hype.
- wear lifts if you're a sub-5'10" guy out at night.
- the real source of happiness and fulfillment in game is quality. hands down. banging one 8 > banging ten 5s.
- i think that RSD represents the future of game in north america. it's a shame.
- i'm a light-skinned indian who can pass as a middle easterner or a hispanic. ethnicity is one thing i won't lie about with a girl though. i'd rather give up a lay than spit on my ancestors.
- the best way to get a girl is to be in her social circle. the best way to get girls is to do cold approach.
- all community guys have issues of some sort. these issues can be major or minor, but they all have them. this is part of the greater realization that no person is perfect; in the pick up community it is doubly so. it is worth remembering that the rooshvforum is a rare island among the pick up community that is populated by competent and successful players; "issues" in this context would probably be limited to annoying personality quirks. the greater internet pick up community however is this great big sea of social dementedness and failure, the depths of which have exasperated and frustrated me and blown my mind many times over. in finding a wing, just as important a consideration as "how good is he?" is "how fucked up is he?". stand up guys are really hard to find, and many of the better guys are those who can positively channel their particular weirdness into cold approach skills. my main wing of 2011 was, behind a thin veneer of normalcy, a seriously fucked up dude. my main wing of 2012 also was... behind a thin veneer of normalcy... a seriously fucked up dude.
- game does work. the alpha/beta dynamic is real. the evo psych theories are true. however in some quarters it is overglorified and it is forgotten that it is but one of many, many factors at play, and nowhere is that more the case than in the cold approach setting. it simply does not fucking matter how much you've studied up and fancy yourself as an Aloof Alpha Asshole™ when you go out to talk to girls and it turns out that you're too ugly, you're too short, you're too hairy, you're too young, you're too old, you're too soft, she's in a conversation, she's in a big group, she has to pee, it's a sausage fest, you run out of things to say, she has a boyfriend, she's not looking to meet someone, she has other options, she gets distracted, there's a cockblock, she has to leave, she's just looking for validation, and so on and so forth, all of which things either cause the girl to write you off or stop an interaction from initiating in the first place. game is sloppy. there is no perfect game. it doesn't help when in the real world you use that Nefarious Neg™ that is guaranteed to induce the greatest of Gina Tingles™, it has no effect, the girl just doesn't care, and she turns back to her friends as if you never existed. so that much for that shit. pick up is not a chess match as a lot of keyboard philosophizing mental masturbators would have it. it is more like a card game. for better or worse, it involves a lot of set, circumstantial factors (luck of the draw), and accordingly the wiggling room is smaller, simpler, harsher (skillz). ironically, game in its pure, narrow definition (learned verbal charisma) works best in social circle settings, on dates, in established relationships, where the girl is already receptive, invested, and undistracted. it may just be my negative experiences in toronto, but Alpha "Bring the Movies" Cred is not going to help a guy struggling to maintain the attention of his last 5 cold approaches in a bar. the guy needs to execute these basics: 1) look his best, 2) approach a lot, 3) be engaging, 4) be aggressive... and let the chips fall where they may.
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