From Craigslist, Women Seeking Men:
[She is 39]
SWF looking for a younger SWM for dating, romance, intimacy and friendship. Not just sex. [As if some young cat wants an old fat chick. But not just any young cat will meet her requirements.] If you want casual nsa hook-ups do not respond.
ME: 5' 6" tall, BBW/plus size, cougar. Very pretty in face [Q: Why do all fat chicks think they are pretty in the face? A: Because so many guys have told them that, which is euphemism for "I might consider you if you were human-sized rather than wildebeest-sized], look great in lingerie [With a corset. And horrible naked]. Smart, witty, professional, 2 degrees [as if anyone cares]. Never married, no kids and don't want kids [kinda late for that now anyway, ain't it?]. I am a caring, sweet person, have courtesy and I am a great friend. Drug and Disease free and non-smoker [my vice is FOOD, yummy yummy FOOD]. Light social drinker. Blond/blue, DD boobs [and a belly to match]. Loves kissing, extended foreplay, giving and receiving oral. Sex with condoms required. [LOL. As if she wasn't a disaster and asking for way too much already, you can't even hit it raw] I am an anal virgin but I am open to some light finger insertion and I love anilingus [Any fat asshole eaters in the house?] but we can talk about this sort of thing later.
Other things I like: talking dirty, wearing lingerie, toys, fantasies and roleplay on occasion, sex in unusual places, dabbling in light D/s on occasion---I am slightly kinky. I am ok with it if you are bi. I am open and experimental to a degree.
You: Tall (5'9 or taller), skinny/slender to toned to athletic. [Because fat dudes repulse her!] I am not really into big beefy muscular dudes.[Because seeing their dietary discipline makes her feel like a fatty] You should be considered attractive in the face. Also, I require 7" minimum in your manhood [Makes sense. First four inches is just to reach past her fat thighs]---and will want to see pics. You should LIVE FOR and LOVE giving oral sex [I just threw up a little in my mouth]---I want it frequently and you should be an oral expert or don't bother to get up with me. You MUST be DDF too and be ok with using condoms. I want a guy who is ok with dating a BBW. Some guys say they are but what they really mean is that they want to F one in private.[Yeah, that's pretty much all dudes who contact you.] I want a man who will adore me as I am right now, even though I am actively slimming down and exercising.[LOL]
My goal is as we mesh and become more intimate and our relationship develops, I will then go on the pill because I would like to have a greater depth of pleasure and intimacy with you.
The reason I write about all of this is because sex is very important to me, and I want to be with a guy who can satisfy me sexually because I have a very high drive and want intimacy as much as possible. Beyond that---I also require a guy who is ok with PDA and being touchy-feely with me. I want a man who likes to hold hands, hug, put his arm around me, kiss me in public---generally show his affection. In private I enjoy close intimacy too---spooning, holding each other, etc. If you are not that type of guy---please do not contact me. If you are married or you have a GF, leave me alone. I don't play that way, and I want a relationship--not a hook-up.
I prefer guys who are highly intelligent and who have a sense of humor. I also like guys who are caring, kind and honest. If you consider yourself a closet nerd that will not bother me. I love books, reading, writing and intellectual pursuits as much as I love the outdoors [Didn't realize driving to Dunkin Donuts is considered an outdoors activity] ---so quiet types are not an issue for me. We can talk more about this if we connect.
I hope what I have written resonates with someone...I am very real and hope you are too. I will want to trade pics with you---face pics WITHOUT sunglasses and without a hat. Please use the word RELATIONSHIP in your response or I will NOT answer the response because of CL Spam. Thanks!
[She is 39]
SWF looking for a younger SWM for dating, romance, intimacy and friendship. Not just sex. [As if some young cat wants an old fat chick. But not just any young cat will meet her requirements.] If you want casual nsa hook-ups do not respond.
ME: 5' 6" tall, BBW/plus size, cougar. Very pretty in face [Q: Why do all fat chicks think they are pretty in the face? A: Because so many guys have told them that, which is euphemism for "I might consider you if you were human-sized rather than wildebeest-sized], look great in lingerie [With a corset. And horrible naked]. Smart, witty, professional, 2 degrees [as if anyone cares]. Never married, no kids and don't want kids [kinda late for that now anyway, ain't it?]. I am a caring, sweet person, have courtesy and I am a great friend. Drug and Disease free and non-smoker [my vice is FOOD, yummy yummy FOOD]. Light social drinker. Blond/blue, DD boobs [and a belly to match]. Loves kissing, extended foreplay, giving and receiving oral. Sex with condoms required. [LOL. As if she wasn't a disaster and asking for way too much already, you can't even hit it raw] I am an anal virgin but I am open to some light finger insertion and I love anilingus [Any fat asshole eaters in the house?] but we can talk about this sort of thing later.
Other things I like: talking dirty, wearing lingerie, toys, fantasies and roleplay on occasion, sex in unusual places, dabbling in light D/s on occasion---I am slightly kinky. I am ok with it if you are bi. I am open and experimental to a degree.
You: Tall (5'9 or taller), skinny/slender to toned to athletic. [Because fat dudes repulse her!] I am not really into big beefy muscular dudes.[Because seeing their dietary discipline makes her feel like a fatty] You should be considered attractive in the face. Also, I require 7" minimum in your manhood [Makes sense. First four inches is just to reach past her fat thighs]---and will want to see pics. You should LIVE FOR and LOVE giving oral sex [I just threw up a little in my mouth]---I want it frequently and you should be an oral expert or don't bother to get up with me. You MUST be DDF too and be ok with using condoms. I want a guy who is ok with dating a BBW. Some guys say they are but what they really mean is that they want to F one in private.[Yeah, that's pretty much all dudes who contact you.] I want a man who will adore me as I am right now, even though I am actively slimming down and exercising.[LOL]
My goal is as we mesh and become more intimate and our relationship develops, I will then go on the pill because I would like to have a greater depth of pleasure and intimacy with you.
The reason I write about all of this is because sex is very important to me, and I want to be with a guy who can satisfy me sexually because I have a very high drive and want intimacy as much as possible. Beyond that---I also require a guy who is ok with PDA and being touchy-feely with me. I want a man who likes to hold hands, hug, put his arm around me, kiss me in public---generally show his affection. In private I enjoy close intimacy too---spooning, holding each other, etc. If you are not that type of guy---please do not contact me. If you are married or you have a GF, leave me alone. I don't play that way, and I want a relationship--not a hook-up.
I prefer guys who are highly intelligent and who have a sense of humor. I also like guys who are caring, kind and honest. If you consider yourself a closet nerd that will not bother me. I love books, reading, writing and intellectual pursuits as much as I love the outdoors [Didn't realize driving to Dunkin Donuts is considered an outdoors activity] ---so quiet types are not an issue for me. We can talk more about this if we connect.
I hope what I have written resonates with someone...I am very real and hope you are too. I will want to trade pics with you---face pics WITHOUT sunglasses and without a hat. Please use the word RELATIONSHIP in your response or I will NOT answer the response because of CL Spam. Thanks!