Along these lines: at what point will you pull the ripcord after having invested a reasonable amount of your time, but you suspect your girl isn't dtf? I'm speaking about night game venues here. This thread helps to identify a lot of the positive indications, but I think a lack of negative indications is more telling than the presence of positive indications like the ones identified above.
For example, last night at a bar: I had invested a solid 20 minutes into one girl, a six. At this point my arms were around her, she was drawn into my body. A few minutes later (let's call it minute 25) I started squeezing her ass. At this point she pulled my hands up (negative indication 1).
A voice inside my head said to eject, the bar was only open for another hour and there were other prospects. I had no intention of getting her number; it was SNL or nothing. But I told myself, "no, she just needs to get more comfortable."
I took her hand and dragged her to the dance floor. We dance, and a few minutes after we're making out. She is a bad kisser (negative indication 2). Also she keeps trying to do these stupid swing moves which don't go with the music (I don't know why but something told me negative indication 3). Now the voice is saying: "we didn't sign up for this mickey mouse bullshit." Note: she was on the wrong side of 25 in my estimation, mid-late 20s.
At this point I push to leave and go to her place, which she mentioned was 4 blocks away (strong positive indication; I have shitty logistics). On the dance floor she had started unbuttoning my shirt and running her fingertips around the skin above my waistband. She kept saying "i never do this" etc. Her words said no but everything else said yes. I could even see the internal conflict physically manifesting itself on her face in a series of unusual facial contortions, as if she was falling into a state of hypnosis and then snapping out of it. And no, this wasn't the effects of drugs or alcohol (I don't think...).
Soon after that the lights came on. Outside I threw everything I had at her. "I want to make sure you get home safe," "I don't want to have sex with you," "I need to use the bathroom," etc. But outside she found her 2 other friends and left. I should have listened to the voice... It's very instinctual. I think there sometimes is a tough call, whether to push it to the bitter end or abort and look for a new girl.
It reminded me the experiment referenced by Malcolm Gladwell in Blink, where subjects are asked to draw from 2 decks of cards.
For example, last night at a bar: I had invested a solid 20 minutes into one girl, a six. At this point my arms were around her, she was drawn into my body. A few minutes later (let's call it minute 25) I started squeezing her ass. At this point she pulled my hands up (negative indication 1).
A voice inside my head said to eject, the bar was only open for another hour and there were other prospects. I had no intention of getting her number; it was SNL or nothing. But I told myself, "no, she just needs to get more comfortable."
I took her hand and dragged her to the dance floor. We dance, and a few minutes after we're making out. She is a bad kisser (negative indication 2). Also she keeps trying to do these stupid swing moves which don't go with the music (I don't know why but something told me negative indication 3). Now the voice is saying: "we didn't sign up for this mickey mouse bullshit." Note: she was on the wrong side of 25 in my estimation, mid-late 20s.
At this point I push to leave and go to her place, which she mentioned was 4 blocks away (strong positive indication; I have shitty logistics). On the dance floor she had started unbuttoning my shirt and running her fingertips around the skin above my waistband. She kept saying "i never do this" etc. Her words said no but everything else said yes. I could even see the internal conflict physically manifesting itself on her face in a series of unusual facial contortions, as if she was falling into a state of hypnosis and then snapping out of it. And no, this wasn't the effects of drugs or alcohol (I don't think...).
Soon after that the lights came on. Outside I threw everything I had at her. "I want to make sure you get home safe," "I don't want to have sex with you," "I need to use the bathroom," etc. But outside she found her 2 other friends and left. I should have listened to the voice... It's very instinctual. I think there sometimes is a tough call, whether to push it to the bitter end or abort and look for a new girl.
It reminded me the experiment referenced by Malcolm Gladwell in Blink, where subjects are asked to draw from 2 decks of cards.
Quote:Quote:
Imagine that I asked you to a play a very simple gambling game. In front of you, are four decks of cards--two red and two blue. Each card in those four decks either wins you a sum of money or costs you some money, and your job is to turn over cards from any of the decks, one at a time, in such a way that maximizes your winnings. What you don't know at the beginning, however, is that the red decks are a minefield. The rewards are high, but when you lose on red, you lose a lot. You can really only win by taking cards from the blue decks, which offer a nice, steady diet of $50 and $100 payoffs. The question is: how long will it take you to figure this out?
A group of scientists at the University of Iowa did this experiment a few years ago, and what they found is that after we've turned over about fifty cards, most of us start to develop a hunch about what's going on. We don't know why we prefer the blue decks. But we're pretty sure, at that point, that they are a better bet. After turning over about eighty cards, most of us have figured the game out, and can explain exactly why the first two decks are such a bad idea. This much is straightforward. We have some experiences. We think them through. We develop a theory, and then finally we put two and two together. That's the way learning works. But the Iowa scientists did something else, and this is where the strange part of the experiment begins. They hooked each gambler up to a polygraph--a lie detector machine--that measured the activity of the sweat glands that all of us have below the skin in the palms of our hands. Most sweat glands respond to temperature. But those in our palms open up in response to stress--which is why we get clammy hands when we are nervous. What the Iowa scientists found is that gamblers started generating stress responses to red decks by the tenth card, forty cards before they were able to say that they had a hunch about what was wrong with those two decks. More importantly, right around the time their palms started sweating, their behavior began to change as well. They started favoring the good decks, and taking fewer and fewer cards from A and B. In other words, the gamblers figured the game out before they figured the game out: they began making the necessary adjustments long before they were consciously aware of what adjustments they were supposed to be making.
