[RouteBackwards]

(09-11-2012 02:43 PM)eveningdiary Wrote:  

This is question for good looking guys, or people who happen to have this problem too. Do women tend to be defensive around you? I've been seeing this trend a lot growing up. My classmate a few days ago even said that people must see me as a piece of meat.

I was at the bus stop a few days ago and asked someone when the bus came and then asked her if she worked at a certain business nearby because she was dressed in a certain way. She responded to me passively. There was a guy next to us who was wearing baggy clothes, a hoodie, and just looked like he didn't want to get up that morning. The girl was married and she didn't seem that fun to talk to. When I left, I noticed her talking to the other guy. She seemed more receptive. From what I could hear the conversation was bland with common questions, but somehow she just seemed more outgoing. She laughed. She was friendly. When she got on the bus, she took the seat that was available next to me, and two minutes after I started talking to her she took her phone out and started texting. Seemed plausible. Maybe I came off a certain way to her.

Then, later in the day, I'm getting groceries and I'm at the check out line. The girl at the register is talking to me in this kind of passive aggressive sort of way. Like she's exercising her wit on me. It felt exactly like the same way a customer would talk down to a stripper because it's a man's opportunity to shut down a really attractive person. I was buying wasabi peas.

"Do you like these?"
"No, I like girls," she said.
"Great. . . I don't need to know that."

I didn't know what her problem was.

This happened last weekend. I didn't want to write about it because I thought it wasn't a big deal. BUT! I came into class late today and after class, I asked this girl in class if I could take a look at her notes. I simply chose her because she seemed smart and she tends to participate a lot in class. This is our conversation...

"Hey, did you take notes?"
"Yes."
"Would you mind if I take a look at them?"
"No. They are for my eyes only."
"Umm okay."

I didn't think of it in any way until I noticed her puny boyfriend, who I didn't know was her boyfriend, forcefully displaying possession of his girlfriend by putting his arm around her awkwardly as they walked out of the classroom.

WTF????

I've noticed this a lot in my life. That girl in the beginning who said that people must use me as a piece of meat, also said that I tend to have a presence. I know this, but at the same time, I tried to brush it off and say that I never noticed.

"Don't tell me this is the first time you've noticed this. . ." she said. Trying to beat in my head that I must be a certain subset of male that gives off a certain esteem.

What's up with this? What should I do?

Honestly, I don't see a way out of this. This isn't just girls. I've had a lot of guy friends who use to talk down to me in the past because I tend to give off this certain "presence." I would have really close friends and I would meet their friends and those other friends just didn't like me. They couldn't explain it. I would overhear them saying things like, "I just don't like that guy." I've lost friends because of this. I've lost people who are close to me because of this. No matter how much I tried to keep those friendships by changing myself, it just seemed to be an issue in themselves that I could not change no matter what I did. I've had girls tell me that their boyfriends specifically asked them not to hang out with me on several occasions, even when I made an honest effort not to talk to either of them. It's really ridiculous!

It just seems that everyone gets defensive around me. Not only that, it seems like people feel threatened around me and they need to attack me in some way.

This is a problem. What should I do?

I'm sure I'm not the only one with this quality.

Accurately speaking, I am a solid eight in terms of looks.

I have had a lot of women become defensive or straight out tell me I'm really attractive but for whatever reason they could not pursue me beyond that.

I've found this is MOST likely when the girl is:
A. Recently out of a relationship
B. Crazy or leaving the youthfulness of her twenties and starting to decay in her thirties

It's a way for A.'s to feel good about male attention without risking their sexuality or being vulnerable, this gives them a ego boost since they can tell themselves they rejected a good looking man, and in B.'s case, to tell herself that she's "still got it" when it comes to a good looking pool of men.

The issue that you face when you are attractive is over gaming, and even though you have not progressed far in your interaction, you are coming from a place of wanting to get that lay with ease because you feel like you have an advantage due to your looks, and to some level women take that as over-gaming. In other words this becomes a congruency issue for a woman. You yourself are attractive, but you are not congruent to the idea of what she assumes an attractive man is, and that's partially because you game isn't up to snuff to make her believe in your own congruency. Confusing, but hopefully you catch my drift.

Also, If you sense defensiveness ignore it and become more playful and comical, but not in a court jester type way, but in a way that signals you are strictly amusing yourself and she can laugh along if she wants.

This is the most important part of my diatribe sir...

I must think back to high school, when I was socially awkward and an attractive girl would ask me for something... did I make small talk afterwards? No. That was because I was afraid she'd find out I was awkward and I became intimidated so I would quickly shuffle back to whatever it was I was doing and hope that maybe one day she'd come back and it would feel different.

Women are the same when they are faced with a man they perceive to be attractive. They get intimidated. While Roosh's write ups do discuss how attractive men have it easy, I am incredibly suspicious that those attractive men (namely the one Roosh talks about) have had it easy for so long that they are masters at making women comfortable. In other-words, you have to focus on making a woman comfortable. You do this by asking open ended questions, relating her experiences to yours and being incredibly open about you as a person. In other words, learning traditional game concepts, and put a strong emphasis on rambling, openness and charm. This will essential priming her to accept your energy beyond "He's probably a prick because he can get any girl he wants."

If there's a reason you're giving off a presence of being a dick, it's because you are actively communicating that through your body language and resposnes. Start smiling more, start thinking of retarded shit to say, and generally respond to people in a care-free manner. This is a good start to removing that vibe of arrogance that people might be intimidated by.

Also, your responses seem like dead ends too that leave little for her to invest in you beyond being arrogant...

"They're for my eyes only."

Instead of some lame-ass "umm ok."

You hit her with:

"Well, can I borrow your eyes for a bit then?"

Let's say she still wants to keep testing you...

"Haha I don't think so!"

Then you drop something retarded, but charming...

"You're right, my mom says I have handsome eyes, I wouldn't want to replace them with some strange girls from my biology class"

This shit sounds retarded, even more so in text, but if you believe it's funny and you convey it in confidently, the bits of arrogance in there aren't even an issue and she will inevitably laugh and feel comfortable around you.