[TIOT12]

(10-07-2018 12:53 PM)Sender Wrote:  

I'm waiting around to find a 'reason' to make my own approaches and if I can't find one then I'm stuck. This is what happened with the fur coat girl. It's similar to sending an opener to a tinder bitch who has nothing noteworthy in her profile. You're left thinking "Wtf do I say?". Clearly this is something I need to fix.

My humble advice:

1. Avoid these situations where you are flirting with another guy's girl at the bar. It is bad karma and can easily end in violence or getting kicked out of the bar. Once you get good at approaching, you won't want to trifle with this stuff because it is just a bunch of drama in the end that you don't want.
2. Start adding in daygame to give you more approaches to get over approach anxiety. It will also help with your nightgame.
3. With regard to the fur approach, you can use a Tom Torero favorite which, is saying "That is a great fur jacket." Did you kill it yourself (or skin it yourself)?
4. If it helps, make the mindshift with approaches that you are simply meeting women and to get curious about who they are rather than focusing on your own fears. Let the curiosity override everything. Also, don't over think lines and all that stuff. Just walk up to them and say they look nice/cute/pretty/sexy or whatever and you want to meet them. Then cold read or say whatever comes to mind.
5. Consider going out to bars solo because it forces you to approach more as you can't hide within a group.

[PakMan]

The biggest weakness in my game is definitely the approach. What I have noticed, however, is that an 'approach' works best when it comes off as natural. Meaning as soon you as you make eye contact with a girl at a bar while walking past her, you instinctively just start talking to her (doesn't really matter what you say at that point). I think in that scenario, women perceive it as you were so enthralled by her at an immediate glance that you just had to say something. Those were the times that I've had the most success picking up girls at bars.

But what I find many dudes (including myself) doing is they'll go to the bar and just bs amongst themselves while 'scoping' the place out. I think women sense that dudes are 'strategizing' an approach at that point. Usually, the approach never comes off as natural after you've spent a considerable amount of time overthinking it instead of just talking to the first woman that catches your eye.

This is why I've always done so well with strippers. I've dated a few and even had ONS with a couple here in NYC. Without paying them (for the sex, I do usually get lap dances/buy them drinks). My game relies on either the woman making the approach or me being introduced through social circles. Since strippers are of course always making the first move, it's kind of become my forte.

I'm definitely learning that when it comes to approaches, it matters less what you say but rather how you say and of course the fact that you actually say something. Very few guys are genuinely clever with original pick up lines. I have friends that'll use corny familiar lines like 'were your parents retarded? Cuz you're special' and get some positive play from the girl. So I guess the name of the game is be confident and just as importantly, be natural.

[TheMaleBrain]

It's been a while.
I was on vacation with my kids and could not approach (your kids are with you 24/7). I did get into conversation with 2 hot girls. One was Brazilian, the other German. Nothing to write about.

After a month of not approaching, I was in multiple events, so took the opportunity to approach:
Approach #1
Conference, about 200 people. Saw a hot looking girl, HB8 on a good day. Dressed very elegantly. Blonde, 5"9 + heels.
Went in with a direct approach:
Me: "Hi, Who are you?"
HB8 (Semi-surprised): "I'm M."
Me: "I'm TMB. Nice to meet you. Are you part of the organizers?"
HB8: "No. I'm from university X. I study the field"
Me: "Which faculty? I have a friend there who teaches at Y faculty" (I do)
HB8: "I'm from Z research institute"
Me: "Cool. Do you you <Name>? She is a distant relative"
HB8: "No way. She is my boss"
Conversation died after a minute as she excused herself and went in.
Next.

Approach #2
Same conference.
A girl came by and asked me, while talking to someone, that is this the place of the lecture, as the other hall is closed.
HB5.5, 5"5, nice smile, puzzled look.
Me (teasing): "So you ask about a lecture. You don't know what it is about. It is not for you. Do you understand how funny you are?"
Her (blushing): "Yes. It's for my B/F. I'll call him"
Me: "Put me on the phone"
Talked briefly with her B/F and engaged her a little bit more. She mentioned she had a friend who adores Jordan Peterson. But alas, that friend was taken.
Next

Approach #3
Went to a "sales presentation".
HB8 (HB9 on a very good day) came there right after me. She was talking with someone, so I waited my turn. Meanwhile I networked with some of the people there.
Saw that she was available and went in directly:
Me: "Hi (shaking her hand). Are you here for the event?"
HB8: "Yes"
Me: "Cool. What is your interest?" (It was a semi-professional event, so I allowed myself)
HB8: "I'm in real estate market"
The conversation died, as we went in, but I continued it afterwards.
Me: "You are not local, are you?"
HB8: "I'm from Lithuania"
We briefly discussed the weather and her state, then I switched her back to business and encouraged her to talk about it.
Told her that I may help her, as I believe their business model is flawed. She is in country for an additional week.
Will see if I can get the date.

Approach #4
That one is dumpster diving. HB4 girl introduced herself.
We talked for almost 2 minutes, and I connected with her on LinkedIN.
Was unsure about her body, but she had eyes wide apart.
Oh well

[Roswell87]

Couple questions:

Do you guys do approaches with a wing ?

Do you do approaches being sober or not ?

[TheMaleBrain]

(10-14-2018 03:12 PM)Roswell87 Wrote:  

Couple questions:

Do you guys do approaches with a wing ?

Do you do approaches being sober or not ?

Almost always approach alone.
Always approach sober.

Alcohol may help in night game. Not helpful in day game

[TheMaleBrain]

Was on a bus yesterday. It does not happen a lot.
The bus was almost empty.

A cute girl (HB6 or HB7) sat way back. Went and sat on a bench near her.
She was eating a salad and dressed with jeans and a white sweater.
Counted to 3, then opened with:
Me: "You are a brave girl"
She only raised an eyebrow and continue to eat. I carried on:
Me: "Eating salad, on a bus with a white shirt"
No response whatsoever.
Made another attempt but she ignored me.
Oh well.

[Salesian]

Not sure what you're talking about. Second meetups are great. You re-establish the sexual maneuvers that were working for both of you the last time and continue on.

[InvoluntaryHermit]

Told my friend to pick a girl for me to pick up at the food court at my Uni. He picks this 6.5 maybe 7 asian girl eating Chic-fil-a alone and watching something on her phone.

I walk up, pull up a chair and tell her I wanted to come say hi because she looked lonely. She had been watching Friends on her phone and the episode with the UFC fighting. I brought up the Conor McGregor fight I had watched a few nights ago and asked her if she watched it and she said she tried but UFC is "too intense for her" and I replied "I guess I am intense, I mean I am here flirting you up!" and she laughed and agreed. Also somewhere in there I was very very slightly making fun of her name "Flammy" which she said was an Americanized version of her Chinese name. Ask her if she remembers my name and she didn't so I gave her a bunch of shit in the best cocky/funny way I could and she seemed to like that. Then I negged her by telling her I couldn't tell from far away if she was cute or not (and then didn't tell her if she was cute or not) and she got a little playfully offended and asked me where I came from?! and I told her I was just eating lunch with my friend and point to him across the place.

Chat just for a little longer and ask for her phone number and she says she "isn't looking for anything right now." Then I tell her to follow my IG so she can get in contact if she changes her mind. She then takes my phone and enters her phone number in it and texts her full name in it so I would remember it. I tell her "we'll work on that not looking for anything thing" with a wink and smirk while I say it and then tell her goodbye and walk back over to my friend.

I text her that night with "hey it was nice meeting you today, what are you up to tonight?" and no reply for like 4 days. SMFH and deleted her number. Though it didn't pan out I got mad props from my friend and he hyped me up to a bunch of other guys in our friend circle.

[Roswell87]

Oh. I have done all my approaches by myself and always sober.

[PapayaTapper]

(10-18-2018 07:07 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

*snip*

Chat just for a little longer and ask for her phone number and she says she "isn't looking for anything right now." Then I tell her to follow my IG so she can get in contact if she changes her mind. She then takes my phone and enters her phone number in it and texts her full name in it so I would remember it. I tell her "we'll work on that not looking for anything thing" with a wink and smirk while I say it and then tell her goodbye and walk back over to my friend.

I text her that night with "hey it was nice meeting you today, what are you up to tonight?" and no reply for like 4 days.

Good job on the approach. Thats the hardest part for most guys

One suggestion. "Im not looking for anything right now" is a shit test.

Instead of taking it at face value try something along the lines of:

"Whoa slow your roll there little poodle. I wasn't proposing going steady or getting engaged. I was just thinking of chatting over coffee / cocktail or (something) first. "

Or

"Well I was just thinking we could be friends first*. That way you wouldn't have to sit alone next time"

Or

"No such thing as too many friends right?*"

Customize the above to suit your style but the idea is to knock the girl back a bit on her assumption that you've already decided you want to "date" her


*"Friendzoning" yourself verbally is one way to go in under a plausibly deniable angle. Of course what you say is one thing and what you do is another.

[InvoluntaryHermit]

(10-18-2018 09:19 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(10-18-2018 07:07 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

*snip*

Chat just for a little longer and ask for her phone number and she says she "isn't looking for anything right now." Then I tell her to follow my IG so she can get in contact if she changes her mind. She then takes my phone and enters her phone number in it and texts her full name in it so I would remember it. I tell her "we'll work on that not looking for anything thing" with a wink and smirk while I say it and then tell her goodbye and walk back over to my friend.

I text her that night with "hey it was nice meeting you today, what are you up to tonight?" and no reply for like 4 days.

Good job on the approach. Thats the hardest part for most guys

One suggestion. "Im not looking for anything right now" is a shit test.

Instead of taking it at face value try something along the lines of:

"Whoa slow your roll there little poodle. I wasn't proposing going steady or getting engaged. I was just thinking of chatting over coffee / cocktail or (something) first. "

Or

"Well I was just thinking we could be friends first*. That way you wouldn't have to sit alone next time"

Or

"No such thing as too many friends right?*"

Customize the above to suit your style but the idea is to knock the girl back a bit on her assumption that you've already decided you want to "date" her


*"Friendzoning" yourself verbally is one way to go in under a plausibly deniable angle. Of course what you say is one thing and what you do is another.

Oh shit nice observation. I knew it was a shit test in the moment but thought it was like a modified "I have a boyfriend" which is why I offered the IG so she would see the (hopefully) high value later and I could reconnect. I think what you suggested is definitly more the case.

I also did some creeping on her FB after writing this initial post and she def has a boyfriend who is clearly bankrolled by his LOADED parents. It was clear that he spends a shit ton of money buying her stuff and taking her on trips to foreign lands, which I can't compete with.

Oh well. It's just always nice to have a success. Still don't know why I had ZERO nerves approaching her, but other times I freeze up and tremble and my voice shakes and I cannot think of anything I practiced.

[TheMaleBrain]

Was on the train, on my way to a meeting.
A cute soldier HB6, nice body and hair but plain face, sat across with a book. Couldn't be more than 19.

Opened her with:
Me: "Fantasy?"
HB6: "Yes"
Me: "Which one?"
She showed me. It was Percy Jackson 3rd book (The Titan's Curse).
Engaged her on the topic for a minute. Then complimented her:
Me: "I admire girls who read"
She smiled
Me: "You are probably an introvert, and focus more on what is interesting for you"
HB6: "I care less for what people say"
Unfortunately my stop arrived. Had I had a few more minutes, I could probably number close her.

[ksbms]

(10-11-2018 05:41 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

After a month of not approaching, I was in multiple events, so took the opportunity to approach:
Approach #1
Conference, about 200 people. Saw a hot looking girl, HB8 on a good day. Dressed very elegantly. Blonde, 5"9 + heels.
Went in with a direct approach:
Me: "Hi, Who are you?"
HB8 (Semi-surprised): "I'm M."
Me: "I'm TMB. Nice to meet you. Are you part of the organizers?"
HB8: "No. I'm from university X. I study the field"
Me: "Which faculty? I have a friend there who teaches at Y faculty" (I do)
HB8: "I'm from Z research institute"
Me: "Cool. Do you you <Name>? She is a distant relative"
HB8: "No way. She is my boss"
Conversation died after a minute as she excused herself and went in.
Next.

What do you think you could improve next time in such a scenario?

[TheMaleBrain]

(10-23-2018 11:34 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(10-11-2018 05:41 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

After a month of not approaching, I was in multiple events, so took the opportunity to approach:
Approach #1
Conference, about 200 people. Saw a hot looking girl, HB8 on a good day. Dressed very elegantly. Blonde, 5"9 + heels.
Went in with a direct approach:
Me: "Hi, Who are you?"
HB8 (Semi-surprised): "I'm M."
Me: "I'm TMB. Nice to meet you. Are you part of the organizers?"
HB8: "No. I'm from university X. I study the field"
Me: "Which faculty? I have a friend there who teaches at Y faculty" (I do)
HB8: "I'm from Z research institute"
Me: "Cool. Do you you <Name>? She is a distant relative"
HB8: "No way. She is my boss"
Conversation died after a minute as she excused herself and went in.
Next.

What do you think you could improve next time in such a scenario?

Could have targeted her later, if possible, and re-ignite the conversation. No spark was visible.

[ksbms]

(10-23-2018 03:07 PM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

(10-23-2018 11:34 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(10-11-2018 05:41 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

After a month of not approaching, I was in multiple events, so took the opportunity to approach:
Approach #1
Conference, about 200 people. Saw a hot looking girl, HB8 on a good day. Dressed very elegantly. Blonde, 5"9 + heels.
Went in with a direct approach:
Me: "Hi, Who are you?"
HB8 (Semi-surprised): "I'm M."
Me: "I'm TMB. Nice to meet you. Are you part of the organizers?"
HB8: "No. I'm from university X. I study the field"
Me: "Which faculty? I have a friend there who teaches at Y faculty" (I do)
HB8: "I'm from Z research institute"
Me: "Cool. Do you you <Name>? She is a distant relative"
HB8: "No way. She is my boss"
Conversation died after a minute as she excused herself and went in.
Next.

What do you think you could improve next time in such a scenario?

Could have targeted her later, if possible, and re-ignite the conversation. No spark was visible.

I think you could improve next time by not barraging a girl with so many questions and especially, opening with a question like 'Who are you?'. It's way too strong, it's difficult to respond to it (imagine random girl coming up to you and blurting out 'Who are you?' It doesn't have any context, really). It's value taking. Women like creative, fun men who provide value. There was none of it, I'm afraid, in your approach. Let's reconsider the above scenario. You saw a very elegantly dressed blonde. Boom. That is your opener, SWYS (say what you see). And, at the same time, a perfect opportunity for push/pull as well as separating yourself from all other bland men starting bland conversations. It's no guarantee for anything, but I think it would increase your chances for something more ever so slightly. So what kind of SWYS would have been better? How about opening with:

TMB: Excuse me, I just saw you from over there looking very elegant (pull). In fact, you don't fit in here one bit... (push). Ideally, you'd be facing her face to face, not by side (this is weak but subtly suggests men isn't confident), just a bit closer than normal (I understand you're in a static social setting), then open and vacuum with strong eye-contact and a smirk until she responds.

What does it accomplish? You approach her because you're curious man about her looks but you aren't sold on her, even though she is dressed well and looks well. You aren't affected by it, in fact you finish with a minor insult. That's different. Would it work? We don't know. But for sure you'd separate yourself from 99% other men. Still, props for cold open anyway, next time you'll get it all just right.

[Sender]

Walking along a hospital corridor towards the coffee canteen area that I had already been to numerous times. A petite 7/8 in surgical gear is walking towards me; intimidatingly good looking. Thought fuck it I'll say something though in my heart I knew I wasn't gonna hit on her.

Sender: Is there a coffee shop this way?
Girl: *stops, smiling* Well the main coffee shop is...blah blah

I know where all the coffee shops are in this hospital

Sender: Oh so there is a coffee shop this way...
Girl: yeah you can get a coffee there
Sender: Great thanks.

Both of us carry on walking down the corridor in opposite directions. I'm thinking 'fuck, that was lame' so I impulsively turn and call after her:

Sender: Are you a surgeon?
Girl: *stops and turns around* yes
Sender: *nodding* oh
Girl: *smiling and in a slightly flirty voice* why do you need something done?

Yeah I know. But here's how I replied:

Sender: Noooo hahaha

We went our ways.

Notes: From the moment I saw her I knew this wasn't gonna be a 'real' pick up attempt, just practicing approach and being social with a hot girl. But I was taken aback how open and friendly she was. How she stopped in her tracks and started talking rather than just pointing to the coffee place and carrying on walking.

There was an inner game issue at work or I think I would have responded more fluently. I was feeling like crap that day, unshaven, not my best clothes.

[Anchor Man]

Hi Guys,
This might seem easy for some of you , but I am still struggling with one.
I usually go to network events to pick up girls. Sometimes. I found myself in a situation where a girl who is surrounded by two guys ( Those two guys are socializing with her ) is giving me strong IOI's.

Away from going out to the patio where she can follow, what would you, guys, do ? I mean how you, guys, approach her with the guys around her.

[Anchor Man]

(10-25-2018 10:48 AM)Sender Wrote:  

Walking along a hospital corridor towards the coffee canteen area that I had already been to numerous times. A petite 7/8 in surgical gear is walking towards me; intimidatingly good looking. Thought fuck it I'll say something though in my heart I knew I wasn't gonna hit on her.

Sender: Is there a coffee shop this way?
Girl: *stops, smiling* Well the main coffee shop is...blah blah

I know where all the coffee shops are in this hospital

Sender: Oh so there is a coffee shop this way...
Girl: yeah you can get a coffee there
Sender: Great thanks.

Both of us carry on walking down the corridor in opposite directions. I'm thinking 'fuck, that was lame' so I impulsively turn and call after her:

Sender: Are you a surgeon?
Girl: *stops and turns around* yes
Sender: *nodding* oh
Girl: *smiling and in a slightly flirty voice* why do you need something done?

Yeah I know. But here's how I replied:

Sender: Noooo hahaha

We went our ways.

Notes: From the moment I saw her I knew this wasn't gonna be a 'real' pick up attempt, just practicing approach and being social with a hot girl. But I was taken aback how open and friendly she was. How she stopped in her tracks and started talking rather than just pointing to the coffee place and carrying on walking.

There was an inner game issue at work or I think I would have responded more fluently. I was feeling like crap that day, unshaven, not my best clothes.

Always assume attraction. It is easier said than done.

[TheMaleBrain]

(10-27-2018 01:02 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

Hi Guys,
This might seem easy for some of you , but I am still struggling with one.
I usually go to network events to pick up girls. Sometimes. I found myself in a situation where a girl who is surrounded by two guys ( Those two guys are socializing with her ) is giving me strong IOI's.

Away from going out to the patio where she can follow, what would you, guys, do ? I mean how you, guys, approach her with the guys around her.

I go to a lot of networking, and/or social events, and have been there.
It's a classic mix set, in which you need to dominate/dismantle.

Traditional option - Go in, wait a minute to hear what they are speaking about, inject yourself to the conversation, then slowly (1-2 minutes) dominate it. Finally, tell the girl to follow you to somewhere. Now you isolated.
Bold option - Come in and tell the girl: "Where have you been?" or "I was looking for you". Then take her by the hand and eject. High risk maneuver.

I always do the traditional one. But have seen someone pull the bold move (didn't work).

[Anchor Man]

(10-23-2018 06:43 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

Was on the train, on my way to a meeting.
A cute soldier HB6, nice body and hair but plain face, sat across with a book. Couldn't be more than 19.

Opened her with:
Me: "Fantasy?"
HB6: "Yes"
Me: "Which one?"
She showed me. It was Percy Jackson 3rd book (The Titan's Curse).
Engaged her on the topic for a minute. Then complimented her:
Me: "I admire girls who read"
She smiled
Me: "You are probably an introvert, and focus more on what is interesting for you"
HB6: "I care less for what people say"
Unfortunately my stop arrived. Had I had a few more minutes, I could probably number close her.

I always go for the number.

[Sender]

En-route on a crowded bus going to a bumble date a cute-ish young slim asian girl sits next to me. She's eating some asian snack out of a packet. Had an audience of bus passengers for this one:

Sender: *pointing at the packet* That looks good. What's in that?
Girl: *in slightly broken english* I don't know
Sender: *turns the packet around* ah dried figs, nice. Is it good?
Girl: yes is ok
Sender: Cool. You know, I actually recently had some fresh walnuts delivered.

She doesn't know what walnuts are so I show her a picture on my phone. Then blather on about walnuts and how I had them delivered from a farm and the difference between fresh and dried. This entire set was uphill and I had to carry the conversation.

Shifted the conversation to what she was doing in the UK (studying english) and where she'd been that day (hyde park) but got no sign of interest back. Pointedly, she avoided answering when I asked her where she was headed.

Chatted until getting of the bus when she quickly moved away from me without saying goodbye and I didn't follow up. Interestingly, she then ended up getting on the same carriage as me on the tube. I smiled, she smiled back but moved away.

Notes:
This was clearly a 'no' girl from the beginning. As per Roosh, there was no pre-1min attraction there. Overall, I was ok with the encounter if not the result. Despite opening on a crowded bus, didn't feel any AA whatsoever-- perhaps partly because I knew I was on my way to another date.

[duedue]

Went to Starbucks this morning, feeling good and looking my best. Approached a student by telling her it was a nice place to do homework. Told her that for a few months I can work from cafes instead of going to office but she didn't ask me why. She was smiling but I disengaged prematurely, maybe it was coffee. But the barista was the really sexy one. I made some laser eye contact with her but couldn't think of a topic to start a convo.


BTW, is it appropriate to tell a girl she looks mischievous in a day approach?

[TheMaleBrain]

(10-29-2018 09:19 AM)duedue Wrote:  

BTW, is it appropriate to tell a girl she looks mischievous in a day approach?

Yes
You can start with that, as a direct approach.
If indirect, you need it after some rapport.

[TheMaleBrain]

Was at a social circle semi-party. There was also a lecture on "spirituality".
All were in their 40s.

Engaged an HB5. Tall (5"11), lives close by.
She moved to Israel about a year ago, and is separated (not yet "fully" divorced). Chatted her about the city, and work. We agreed to meet in a few days time (per my convenience). Took the number.

Later, at the end, I engaged R. She's a tall (5"10) HB7 with good figure. Works S/W code validation and is looking for work. Brought up the LinkedIN angle and she was hooked. Also talked about getting a job, and slapped her (both metaphorically and physically) to illustrate her wrong-doing with regards to how she was looking for work.
Took the number and we are scheduled to meet tomorrow to discuss.

We'll have to see if I will be able to converge.

[lunchmoney]

Heading into my dentist getting a cleaning done today, and an early 30s mixed (latina and ?) with a very nice ass was in the waiting room. Chatted her up about Veterans Day/day off chores, in which she opens up about this being a day off (she works as a bank manager close to the office) and she had a lot to get done. Went for the quick close, asking how do I get on today's to do list, and she cracked a smile. Her eyes showed interest. Took the # and told her we could connect tonight.

Cold daygame approaches provide a natural high that I don't get anymore from nightgame.