[Urban Renaissance Man]

Ok fellas, here's a philosophical question that has come up in my life that I was hoping some of you could answer.

I have always felt that a guy should never just sit around, being some girl's friend, nuturing her through broken relationship after broken relationship, in the hopes of finally getting her. However, A situation arose in my life that sort of makes me wonder. A while ago I was dating this one girl. Honestly, about a 7. Anyway, there was this guy, extremely overweight and just overall unattractive, that had been trying to get with her a year even before I met her. He was floored and hurt when we got together, sending her text messages calling me a player, and all of that. I asked her why he was so upset and that something had to have been going on between them. She stated that he was a really nice guy, a good man, always there for her, and they had even kissed once while drunk, but she just couldn't bring herself to date him, because of his size and looks. She said that she wanted to like him, because she knows he would treat her like a queen, but just can't get past the physical. Well, during the 2 years she and I were together, he pretty much left the radar. (Since I don't believe in my girl having male friends, not so much out of jealousy, but respect) Anyway, once we broke up, I heard thru the grapevine they had started hanging out again. I'm assuming in the same role he had been in before, since she started dating a different guy for another 2 years. Well, during this time he maintained a friendship with her, took her out, etc. since this new guy she was 'dating' wasn't ready to commit. Well, as recently as January she snail mailed me some pictures of her and her son. (Keep in mind I have been in 'please don't contact me' mode for at least a year. I did not respond to the pictures sent to me. Well, just the other day a friend of mine called and said as of early february my ex is now dating this guy who used to be her friend. This had me thinking..... Is it effective to just be a girl's friend and 'wait it out' until she finally comes around to seeing you as they guy should be with? I mean, if it's a girl that you really, really desire and can see yourself with, should you stick it out in the 'friend zone' until she has a change of heart? This guy has waited thru 6 years and at least 3 relationships, but in the end he's banging her brains out now. So, I guess he can say he finally got the prize. I have my own beliefs concerning this...(I'd rather die than wait around for some girl) but maybe they've been wrong. What do you guys think?

[thegmanifesto]

(03-12-2012 06:04 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

Is it effective to just be a girl's friend and 'wait it out' until she finally comes around to seeing you as they guy should be with?

Effective?

No.

[Basil Ransom]

Seriously?



Hmm - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-8210-p...#pid120013

I get the feeling you're not going to get the response you want.

[germanico]

Effective?

In those 6 years he could have lost weight, got in shape, travelled the world, made some money, experience some unique situations, spend time and had sex with worthwhile women, and made some more money.

Instead, he is still fat, still frustrated, and is now dating a bottom-tier single mom, providing for a kid that is not his own son, just to be with a woman that is just with him for a lack of better options.

"Banging her brains out"? That woman probably has him sleeping in the couch because "she isnt ready yet to take that step" while he is paying for her rent.

[speakeasy]

For every one guy stuck in the friendzone that finally got the object of his desire, there are 100 that never do. Total waste of time.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(03-12-2012 06:17 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

Seriously?



Hmm - http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-8210-p...#pid120013

I get the feeling you're not going to get the response you want.

How in the hell did what I wrote cause you to call me a troll?? Because you don't like something someone says, or they don't word they're posts in such a way that pleases your senses does an automatically make them a troll. And how a post regarding mail order brides is used as proof of my trolling is totally beyond me! Perhaps I should take the time to seek out posts you've written that don't appeal to me and label you a troll.

Every single post I've ever posted on the board has been legit. If something I've said or asked has come across naive, or self explanatory, and that's a testament to my being new to the game, and not trolling. We can't all be The Fonz like you, Basil! Though I'm guessing that if you were the quintessential player, you wouldn't even be on here, since most likely there would have never been a need for you to look a sure teaching game in the first place!

[iknowexactly]

(03-12-2012 07:36 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

For every one guy stuck in the friendzone that finally got the object of his desire, there are 100 that never do. Total waste of time.

Agree, but my guess is it's more like 500 not 100. We defeat ourselves by imagining chicks care, when all they're doing is practicing being "nice" when they do rejections.

"Love is the delusion that one woman is significantly different than another."

[WestCoast]

@ Urban Renaissance Man - You've missed one very large piece of this. The girl is unhappy for sure. Think about it, she essentially "settled" for him after getting pumped + dumped multiple times. If anything all this should be proof that game gets the most lays and best quality.

"Love is a disease, curable by marriage"

Ineffective.

[soup]

This post reeks of oneitis.

Go bang a minimum of 10 girls before revisiting this question.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

Again, that's how I feel as well for the most part. I was just amazed she'd settle for someone she so clearly felt was unattractive. But then I figured that maybe over time, hanging out and with friendship, feelings began to grow. Kinda like we you hear girls say sometime, "he grew on me." That must happen sometimes because we have all heard women say that.

[jerome]

agree.... totally ineffective, worst idea ever....

The only spin I would do is, Why didn't the fat dude game other girls, while he game your girl....he could of bang other girls and still married his oneitis.......

Had he just lost his weight and got in shape, he probably could of had her...sooner and younger.


The guy settle, and so did the girl....no winners....only losers...this is why divorce is up(also due to feminism)

The guy suffer in abyss for six fucking years, thats like doing six year in prison....

His confidence with women is shattered and destroy in those six years.....omg......

He created hell on earth for himself. We all had oneitis....its like the worst thing ever.....I cringe just reading this....he had six years of oneitis. Thats a long time....

[Samseau]

Quote:

This guy has waited thru 6 years and at least 3 relationships, but in the end he's banging her brains out now.

Hahahahahahaha




Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha


She took this guy because she was left with no other options. She must be fucking miserable in that relationship.

(03-12-2012 06:59 PM)germanico Wrote:  

Effective?

In those 6 years he could have lost weight, got in shape, travelled the world, made some money, experience some unique situations, spend time and had sex with worthwhile women, and made some more money.

Instead, he is still fat, still frustrated, and is now dating a bottom-tier single mom, providing for a kid that is not his own son, just to be with a woman that is just with him for a lack of better options.

"Banging her brains out"? That woman probably has him sleeping in the couch because "she isnt ready yet to take that step" while he is paying for her rent.

AHahahhaha it's not even his son!!!!

Like, seriously man? She's going with this guy because she needs an extra wallet for her baby.

[Kitsune]

(03-12-2012 06:59 PM)germanico Wrote:  

In those 6 years he could have lost weight, got in shape, travelled the world, made some money, experience some unique situations, spend time and had sex with worthwhile women, and made some more money.

This is the only kind of 'waiting out' that is effective.

[Gixxermuscle]

(03-12-2012 06:04 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

Ok fellas, here's a philosophical question that has come up in my life that I was hoping some of you could answer.

I have always felt that a guy should never just sit around, being some girl's friend, nuturing her through broken relationship after broken relationship, in the hopes of finally getting her. However, A situation arose in my life that sort of makes me wonder. A while ago I was dating this one girl. Honestly, about a 7. Anyway, there was this guy, extremely overweight and just overall unattractive, that had been trying to get with her a year even before I met her. He was floored and hurt when we got together, sending her text messages calling me a player, and all of that. I asked her why he was so upset and that something had to have been going on between them. She stated that he was a really nice guy, a good man, always there for her, and they had even kissed once while drunk, but she just couldn't bring herself to date him, because of his size and looks. She said that she wanted to like him, because she knows he would treat her like a queen, but just can't get past the physical. Well, during the 2 years she and I were together, he pretty much left the radar. (Since I don't believe in my girl having male friends, not so much out of jealousy, but respect) Anyway, once we broke up, I heard thru the grapevine they had started hanging out again. I'm assuming in the same role he had been in before, since she started dating a different guy for another 2 years. Well, during this time he maintained a friendship with her, took her out, etc. since this new guy she was 'dating' wasn't ready to commit. Well, as recently as January she snail mailed me some pictures of her and her son. (Keep in mind I have been in 'please don't contact me' mode for at least a year. I did not respond to the pictures sent to me. Well, just the other day a friend of mine called and said as of early february my ex is now dating this guy who used to be her friend. This had me thinking..... Is it effective to just be a girl's friend and 'wait it out' until she finally comes around to seeing you as they guy should be with? I mean, if it's a girl that you really, really desire and can see yourself with, should you stick it out in the 'friend zone' until she has a change of heart? This guy has waited thru 6 years and at least 3 relationships, but in the end he's banging her brains out now. So, I guess he can say he finally got the prize. I have my own beliefs concerning this...(I'd rather die than wait around for some girl) but maybe they've been wrong. What do you guys think?

Hell no it's not worth it. She's older, fatter (most likely), ingested more cocks...

[Screwston]

This would be "lame game". Shit is pathetic and I would NEVER advise a guy to stay in the friend zone until she's ready.

[el mechanico]

Maybe that fat guy has been reading this forum for the last couple years. Got himself some ACV and a custom suit.

[rudebwoy]

How old is she, i am guessing 35.

[Moma]

(03-13-2012 12:04 AM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

Again, that's how I feel as well for the most part. I was just amazed she'd settle for someone she so clearly felt was unattractive. But then I figured that maybe over time, hanging out and with friendship, feelings began to grow. Kinda like we you hear girls say sometime, "he grew on me." That must happen sometimes because we have all heard women say that.

I think she just settled. As a lizard gets older, her options diminish..especially if she has kids..and she knows this. She settled for this beta provider.

I agree with the original posters, in the time he spent waiting and pining for her (assuming he did and wasn't banging other reptiles during the wait process), he could have been working on himself and banging himself up to par.

I don't believe that waiting is ever a good idea. I have tried and tested both theories and going out to hunt for fresh meat ALWAYS beats waiting a lizard out. Even if she is the 'one'.
I speak right now to a lizard friend who has spent many days pining about a man who broke her heart. However, she constantly prospects new cats during this process and if she does get laid, she won't even count that lay as anything and continue to act as if she had 'saved' herself during the wait process for the mail.

This is one of the most old fashioned lizards I know. Even her peers and family members tell her to move on (bang other men). So my point is, if even the most smitten and sucker-ised lizards bang during the wait, why should a man wait out a lizard?

[indiomago]

Not efective at all!! It´s been 6 years. If someone goes to a gym for one year ( any person) will notice a lot of changes, including loss of weight and overall better look. At the same time the guy could change his hair cut, dress better, fix his teeth or whatever was unattractive in him. In a year ( or less) he could be in a possition to ¨claim his property¨ Not the case.
¨Friend zone¨is a waste of time anyway, unless she´s breaking up with his bf and ¨need a time¨...but we are talking here of weeks, no years.

[Christian McQueen]

NEVER. A post like this says less about the chick and more about the guy who thinks his life is so unimportant that he should wait for a girl.

NEVER wait on a girl, she will lose respect for you so fast and this fat fuck who is with her now is a WALLET for her kid.

$1,000 cash she's getting cock on the side and giving him handjobs to keep him around.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

Again, I DO NOT agree with the method of waiting ona girl. I only mentioned that it has worked for some. I have never waited a girl out, so I can't actually speak as to whether or not being in a relationship with someone you waited out is filled with disrespect. I'm assuming it is, but a part of me hopes that girl can actually grow to love you and realize that you are a good man, and that she was just being shallow and stupid for not giving you a chance originally.

[King Solomon]

she is already cheating on the guy.

dollars to donuts.

[Zee]

It can work, as it did for me, but its not effective at all.

[Vesuvius]

Wait for what? the dust to gather on your dick?

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(04-05-2012 05:23 PM)Zee Wrote:  

It can work, as it did for me, but its not effective at all.

Very interesting. Care to explain how it worked for you, yet you feel it doesn't work?