I recently got out of a 4 year LTR, the last year of which I spent engaged and living with my ex. Needless to say our future wasn't quite going the direction either of us wanted and things ended abruptly.
It's going to be a bit different for every situation (and for other men) but it took me over 6 months to completely "get over her" - far longer than I wanted or expected. I was in a similar state. Depressed, hopeless, unmotivated. When you spend a large amount of time with a woman, regardless of how you initially feel about her or where you want things to go, men tend to develop very strong bonds. We get protective, we care, we want the best for that other person. When things end, those feelings don't simply disappear. Ripping apart and destroying those bonds can be extremely painful, and it affects every man a bit differently. Your first inclination (even with a mastery of game) might be to try to "win" her back, it's natural to not want to see things end. The first step to getting over it is to accept (not just think) that it is over and that you are moving on. Easier said than done.
We men like to play the "I don't give a fuck" card but the truth is we know and have to acknowledge that we are often sensitive creatures who do get bent out of shape over dumb shit sometimes. For example when a serious relationships ends or a girl we care about cheats on us. It's easy to pretend you don't give a shit but it takes real grit to admit those truths to yourself. Forget everyone else, it's none of their business.
At the end of the day the most important thing you can do is to keep telling yourself it's over and nothing you can do will change that. You will be a better man for it and any time spent thinking about the old flame should be considered wasted time. Trust me, once you have moved on and started seeing other women those old feelings and memories will start to fade. It takes time and it takes a dedicated effort to finding other women to occupy yourself with. Hell, I still think about my ex everyday, even if it's just a fleeting thought or a split second, a momentary lapse of reality. You'll find yourself comparing current women to the old and thinking about the "what ifs". It's futile. Forget it. The best thing you can do as a man is to chalk it up to the game, glean from the best lessons in this experience and use them to improve yourself. Become a better version of yourself, and move on.
Ultimately, you want to use this to avoid making the same mistakes again. The key is to not live in denial and to first admit the truth to yourself, only then can you start the recovery process. Just make sure you've cut off all contact.
It's going to be a bit different for every situation (and for other men) but it took me over 6 months to completely "get over her" - far longer than I wanted or expected. I was in a similar state. Depressed, hopeless, unmotivated. When you spend a large amount of time with a woman, regardless of how you initially feel about her or where you want things to go, men tend to develop very strong bonds. We get protective, we care, we want the best for that other person. When things end, those feelings don't simply disappear. Ripping apart and destroying those bonds can be extremely painful, and it affects every man a bit differently. Your first inclination (even with a mastery of game) might be to try to "win" her back, it's natural to not want to see things end. The first step to getting over it is to accept (not just think) that it is over and that you are moving on. Easier said than done.
We men like to play the "I don't give a fuck" card but the truth is we know and have to acknowledge that we are often sensitive creatures who do get bent out of shape over dumb shit sometimes. For example when a serious relationships ends or a girl we care about cheats on us. It's easy to pretend you don't give a shit but it takes real grit to admit those truths to yourself. Forget everyone else, it's none of their business.
At the end of the day the most important thing you can do is to keep telling yourself it's over and nothing you can do will change that. You will be a better man for it and any time spent thinking about the old flame should be considered wasted time. Trust me, once you have moved on and started seeing other women those old feelings and memories will start to fade. It takes time and it takes a dedicated effort to finding other women to occupy yourself with. Hell, I still think about my ex everyday, even if it's just a fleeting thought or a split second, a momentary lapse of reality. You'll find yourself comparing current women to the old and thinking about the "what ifs". It's futile. Forget it. The best thing you can do as a man is to chalk it up to the game, glean from the best lessons in this experience and use them to improve yourself. Become a better version of yourself, and move on.
Ultimately, you want to use this to avoid making the same mistakes again. The key is to not live in denial and to first admit the truth to yourself, only then can you start the recovery process. Just make sure you've cut off all contact.
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee