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Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Ruivinho - 08-23-2015

I've always been a introverted self confident guy with lots of motivation to self improve and learn and travel and never ever have i felt real bad anxiety and stress. I've been browsing the forum for probably over 2 years now and It made me want to travel, meet girls, bang foreign girls and ultimately better myself and design the lifestyle i want.

However I recently have found myself in a rut where I have no motivation to do anything. Everytime i think of something I used to like or used to want to do, I just have thoughts that I dont really actually want that or that wont make me happy. I've been struggling with depression, bad anxiety and extreme mood swings for over a week now..

The way this has all come about is because my gf has broken up with me and it seemed to come out of nowhere.

I'll give a little background info. I'm 19, good looking athletic white guy. I always have been obsessed with meeting foreign girls and never been interested in any girls here in the UK.


Now.. About why im in the current state im in.. So, back in December 2013 I met a girl online from Lebanon who had the same interests as me and same ideas about life and we became really close friends.. I never thought i fancied her, as i always had the idea of my ideal gf being brazilian.. Anyway fast forward 1 year of texting almost everyday. we are closer than ever and she has chased me and chased me. I could tell she was so into me and wanted me to be with her. Fastforward to around February 2015 I start to find this girl a bit more attractive and her chasing me, I loved it.. I'd never had a gf before and i became crazy about this girl. I loved her morals, her openness, the way she dresses. The fact that she would never lie and would always trust me and i felt 100% trust in her. The fact that she was more intelligent than any girl id met before as she spoke arabic, french and english all completely fluent. I was still apprehensive about whether i fancied her enough to make her my gf though..
Bear in mind I'm 19 and never truly been in love before. So come May 2015 she finally convinces me to go to Lebanon and stay in her home for 3 weeks and see her country and be with her. So June 2015 i travelled to Lebanon to stay with her. I fell in love with her the first day and at night and we ended up spooning in her room (her parents did not know.. if they did all hell would of broken) 2 days in and we're crazy about eachother, kissing all the time and cuddling at every oppertunity. Never got to bang her since with her brothers, parents and maid in the home it was impossible, she also said she didnt feel ready and it was too early..
We decide to tell people we are in a relationship now. I took her out loads to restaurants and bought her clothes at malls and payed for all her things. I was in love and for the first time. So everything has been perfect and my stay was coming to an end. I left to go back to England emotionally. We made plans over the next few weeks for me to apply to go to the same univerity as her there and that i could rent an apartment. I was skeptical though about is this what i want for my future and can i handle this. But after a while i was convinced this is what i wanted and my mind was set on my living and studying in lebanon with her.

I also started to become very protective over her while we were apart.
Fast forward over a month of being apart now and texting everyday but the texting felt more standard relationship than desired romance like before..

So then nearly 2 weeks ago from now she told me she was meeting up with a Australian guy who is 26 and was visiting lebanon this summer. She met him last summer when she was in greece and she decided she wanted to show him around Beirut for the day while he was in the country..
I flipped... I criticized her told her i didnt trust her and all this other horrible shit to try and make her feel bad. idk why i did it but i did. I had no reason not to trust her and for stupid reasons I told her idk if i trust you anymore.. this hurt her bad. There was also then lots of bad texts sent and angry late night texts sent for her to wake up to. Next day she met up with this guy and ignored all my texts. i thought id be cold and ignore her back to wait until she messages me. No message. Day 2 and she hasnt contacted me again. Im losing it. Im stressed af and i have worst anxiety than ever before. I start messaging this austrailian guy threatening him and calling him a asshole and paedo.. I message her friends to ask what shes doing where is she and how is she being with this guy since she went to bar with him and her friends that night as i saw pics on instagram. Day 4 since things changed and she wont text me at all unless its a cold answer that tells me nothing. Im begging her to talk to me at this point and its on the 5th morning that she texts me saying shes breaking up with me and that shes had enough of me. she flipped when she found out i texted her friends about her and saw all the texts and what i had sent to the aussie guy she was friends with.
I was making her unhappy apparently and criticizing her all the time and i had become all the things shes hated in past guys shes been with. This girl is 18 btw, absolutely gorgeous and the furthest shes gone with a guy is kissing. Wife material right.. And ive just lost her from my immaturity. her mom messaged me and told me i need to give her space..
my gf (or ex at this point) then said to me," stop contacting me. let me go!"
u can imagine how heartbroken and shattered i feel. I never ever thought this would happen.. It felt so unexpected.. i kept telling myself its a phase.... although i know her well enough to know when she thinks something is bad for her she cuts it out of her life for good.
She deleted all memories of us on her facebook and instagram which hurt me alot.

I have not contacted her for a week now giving her the space her mom told me to. Her mom told me "i ruined it"... this hit me.
I then reviewed all our texts over the last month since i had been back in england and i never noticed before now.. but i had started to become super jealous, controlling and accusing her all the time and criticizing her alot.. I FUCKED UP and i never realised it at the time..

So now here i am over a week later and I'm at an all time low i feel like. All my passions have faded for anything. I cant even notice beauty in anything that's not her anymore. I became so in love with even her imperfections...
I keep dreaming at night that i can turn back time and change how i was.. I wake up at 5/6am every morning now because i cant sleep.
She is starting university in a months time and shes now enjoying her summer going out all the time to bars and she looks like shes happy. Worse for me she suddenly seems to have filled out in her body, ass bigger, boobs bigger and slimmer waist because of her gym routine and it fucks me up so bad in my head thinking some other guy is gonna enjoy that and not me.
Then there's the thought that shes not even thinking about me anymore.
Everytime i see anything with her in i shatter inside.. I really cant bear to lose her as a friend atleast if i cant be with her. I probably sound beta af and this so out of charcater for me since ive always been such a strong minded go get individual but that former me seems to of vanished and however hard i try to find him. i cant seem to do so.
I feel like ive changed as a person and I dont like it. I have no motivation to do anything. I dont feel like i want anything but her acceptance.. Its so fucked up and i Never ever thought i would be in the situation im currently in but i am and i would love some advice from guys who have been through what im going through or can help me in some way start to feel some life in me!?

Sorry for such a long post but i feel like i should explain the details.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Travesty - 08-23-2015

This is just another data point, any chick that goes and meets guys on holidays in the Mediterranean Sausage Belt (Spain, Italy, Greece) cannot be trusted.

Besides that important fact, you're young, it was a long distance thing which has a 1% chance of working ever for anyone. And your dating game is at Disney levels. Buying her shit constantly and getting possessive.

This will suck for awhile.

You know the answer. Block all her shit. Erase her. Talk to other girls. You are way too emotionally invested to turn this around.

Once you have a level head you can try hitting her up in 6 months if she doesn't try getting back with you. Don't count on it.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - realologist - 08-23-2015

You fell in love for the first time and it didn't work out. It's happened to every guy here. First thing I would do is do something physical and that you like to do. Physical activity helps all stress and depression. You may not think you will like it now but once you actually start it will feel better.

You will never forget about this girl because she was your first love but you can get over her by sleeping with a bunch of women. It'll happen with time.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Ruivinho - 08-23-2015

Quote: (08-23-2015 04:17 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

This is just another data point, any chick that goes and meets guys on holidays in the Mediterranean Sausage Belt (Spain, Italy, Greece) cannot be trusted.

Besides that important fact, you're young, it was a long distance thing which has a 1% chance of working ever for anyone. And your dating game is at Disney levels. Buying her shit constantly and getting possessive.

This will suck for awhile.

You know the answer. Block all her shit. Erase her. Talk to other girls. You are way too emotionally invested to turn this around.

Once you have a level head you can try hitting her up in 6 months if she doesn't try getting back with you. Don't count on it.

She comes from a catholic family and her mom wouldnt let her travel alone at all haha. she didnt go to any sausagefests. Just a weekend city break in Athens with her brother where they got talking to this guy.

Erasing all our memories would be too tough and i feel like id regret in future. I think I'll just unfollow her on facebook instead of unfriending and i wont contact her until she contacts me but then still be apprehensive.
Agreed I need to chase new girls but its the motiavtion that needs to come from within. I hope that will come back naturallt with time


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Dagonet - 08-23-2015

A lot of my blog has been focused on getting over a breakup. Just had a post on dealing with the aftermath which I put up this week. http://thequestforever.com/terminal-oneitis/


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - amusedmastery - 08-23-2015

This happens to guys around 19-20. It's just the way it is and most of us have been there. Learn from it, chalk it up to a needed experience with the opposite sex (to give you insight to their ways) and DO NOT EVER contact her again. Don't look at her Facebook, Instagram, any of it. As far as you're concerned, she doesn't exist anymore.

Force yourself to talk to women and don't enter into LTR's until you're older, I recommend 30's. Just date lots of them until then.

Start reading Roosh, Rationalmale, and Chateau Heartiste. You'll understand the why of all this better. The awful feeling will pass. Let go and free yourself.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Going strong - 08-23-2015

Ruivinho,
I think that you have done too much damage to your image, you have definitely appeared very beta (omega) to this girl, with this full day of loosing your mind, bitching, moaning by sms, and tracking her friends on the net... Damage is irreparable. You have to totally understand this, so that you won't harbor any (false) hope of gaining her back. Then and as a natural, logical result, you can forget her for good, having lost your hopes...

Understand one thing: pretty girls in the 21st centuries are super, empowered, relentlessy-sought-after creatures: almost God-like beings. They have hundreds, hundreds of men at their feet (thanks to dating apps, and real life social circles both), with no drawbacks and almost no perils. So, they won't give you a second chance. They will go on to their next orbiter.

Keep that in mind: if you have shown weakness to a beautiful (HB7 or 8) woman, you are History to her. No second chance. Too many quality competitors. So if you have made a mistake, cut your losses and run.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-23-2015

I feel your pain, brother. I went through the same thing about 4 years ago, with the first girl i dated after I got divorced from my wife of 12 years. I got a baaad case of oneitis for this chick. Took her on vacations, talked to her all the time, and the sex was great. However, she refused to be an exclusive relationship, and would get upset if I told people that we were "dating."

After I finally got sick of her shit and ended it, I got hit hard with depression. Would I ever meet anyone like her again? Should I have just allowed her to see who she wanted? Should I have been more understanding? I stopped going to the gym, barely left the house, and even started smoking again. I was a wreck.

But, thanks to the manosphere, I didn't just get over it, I came back from it a much more awesome person.

4 years later... I own a big house, a successful law practice, and spend most of my time traveling. Taught myself how to cook like a boss. Got heavy into Crossfit, and I'm looking to do a power lifting competition next year. In terms of women, it's not a matter of meeting girls, it's a matter of deciding which ones I feel like keeping around.

As for the former oneitis? She's pregnant and having a shotgun wedding because of it. Fiance is cool but a complete beta. I've put all the anger behind me and manage to be friendly with her.

My advice is this - drop her. Start going to the gym, a lot. Learn how to cook. Read up on game - digest every single book you can, and then go out at night and hit on random women. Go out on OkCupid dates. Don't take relationships too fast, and do not jump into them emotionally head first, or you'll hit your head in the pool.

Candidly, this relationship is fucked. You have to set the frame from the beginning, and then maintain it. It's easier to start a new relationship than it is to rehabilitate an old one. Once she sees weakness in you, it's over. It just is. Sorry.

But that's no issue. Know that at 19, you have a LOT of women ahead of you. There are so many attractive women out there, looking to date masculine men. The competition is a joke, and one day it will be a matter of choosing the ones worth being around. Get better, and you'll soon find yourself surrounded by better women.

Feel free to PM me.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Indy - 08-23-2015

I had a similar situation at around the same age in that it left me scarred for a long time. The girl I gave up my virginity to gamed me hard (HB8) and started smashing my best friend at the time. She passed away in a car accident six months later and I never got the closure I felt I deserved.

A year later, I was engaged to a new girl that also played me hard (HB8.5).

If I'm being honest, the pain won't go away any time soon. It took me ten years to accept what happened with the first girl and I'm still madly in love with the second (eighteen years later).

But getting back to you:

You'll never forgot those first experiences with women; when you were introduced for the first time to love and sex.

The bright side, believe it or not, is that you recognize the fact you're in a bad place. Most would deny that and perpetuate and attempt to justify the behavior you're describing.

Get back up on the horse. Go meet other women. You'll find yourself comparing new women that you meet to the old one, and point out to yourself all the ways that they don't measure up to her, but ignore those feelings and push through.

In time, you'll develop many new relationships that will leave you with new experiences and memories. They won't replace the memories you have of this girl, but they will start to stack up and greatly lessen the impact those early memories have had in shaping you.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-23-2015

Quote: (08-23-2015 05:56 PM)Indy Wrote:  

I had a similar situation at around the same age in that it left me scarred for a long time. The girl I gave up my virginity to gamed me hard (HB8) and started smashing my best friend at the time. She passed away in a car accident six months later and I never got the closure I felt I deserved.

A year later, I was engaged to a new girl that also played me hard (HB8.5).

If I'm being honest, the pain won't go away any time soon. It took me ten years to accept what happened with the first girl and I'm still madly in love with the second (eighteen years later).

But getting back to you:

You'll never forgot those first experiences with women; when you were introduced for the first time to love and sex.

The bright side, believe it or not, is that you recognize the fact you're in a bad place. Most would deny that and perpetuate and attempt to justify the behavior you're describing.

Get back up on the horse. Go meet other women. You'll find yourself comparing new women that you meet to the old one, and point out to yourself all the ways that they don't measure up to her, but ignore those feelings and push through.

In time, you'll develop many new relationships that will leave you with new experiences and memories. They won't replace the memories you have of this girl, but they will start to stack up and greatly lessen the impact those early memories have had in shaping you.

Despite having smashed through enough waitresses, strippers, bartenders, nurses, teachers, and "I don't even know what the fuck you do for a living", I still think about the old oneitis from time to time.

The anger is gone. The pain is gone. But part of me will always wonder how it would have turned out if I'd had game back then. Admittedly, I fucked up the relationship by acting like a total beta / omega.

That said, I can't really complain about anything, and I doubt I'd be happy if it had worked out.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-23-2015

Another thing to add, and perhaps one of the most important things I've learned.

When frame is set from the beginning, the relationship is dramatically different. You'll get texts like:

"Can I come over? You need a blowjob."
"When can I see you?"
"I miss your sexy face."

And you're all like "im playing playstation"


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Phoenix - 08-24-2015

Quote: (08-23-2015 04:17 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

the Mediterranean Sausage Belt

[Image: lol-duck.gif]


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HenryM - 08-24-2015

To echo HankMoody above--I have found getting good at cooking to release a real abundance mentality within me. I'm now much more likely to score a "2-putt" just by being confident enough to invite a girl over for dinner and drinks at my place after a first date.

Dinners out are for special occasions. Norm is Henry grilling up some grass-fed beef and veggies and her bringing over some chambord to put in my "stash" to make champagne cocktails (actuallly $8.99 french sparkling wine from trader joe's but what do they know?!)


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Ruivinho - 08-24-2015

Cheers for all the feedback and relatable advice guys!
I'm gonna start working out everyday from home atm until I am in a settled position where i can join a gym. Learning to cook could be good actually. I'll give it a shot.

Also bit on info on the side. I woke up this morning feeling depressed again and I realised that I havent masturbated in like 2 weeks.. I didnt feel like jacking off but i opened up xvideos and what do u know.. I've jacked off easy enough. The stress and depression got released. Masturbation really does get rid of stress. Maybe not perminantly but atleast for the time when you're feeling it.
Some of you guys might be into the no fap groups and I have looked into it myself. It really did become an addiction in my life before like a month ago when i stopped fapping for prolonged periods.

My other problem rn is figuring out what i wanna do in my life or atm anyway. Summer is almost ended. My plan of going to university in Lebanon is dead. I don't even feel like i want to go university anyway. I wanna be in a city socializing though and i know university would make that happen. At the moment im just an only child stuck in my moms house in the suburbs with nothing to do and no friends around cause they're all at their university's in different areas of the country.
I need to make a change but time goes fast and its stressing me out a bit not knowing what i wanna do. Before i got in a relationship i wanted to travel brazil for a year but now that desire feels dead. I actually loved my time in the middle east and the nighlife and social aspect. I feel kinda pissed that I cant go now because of her.

I know I'm someone that loves to travel and meet new people though so im quite motivated to start learning a language. Im thinking of trying to learn arabic. super interesting language and will blow people away to see a white euopean guy speaking it.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Ruivinho - 08-24-2015

Quote: (08-23-2015 05:10 PM)Dagonet Wrote:  

A lot of my blog has been focused on getting over a breakup. Just had a post on dealing with the aftermath which I put up this week. http://thequestforever.com/terminal-oneitis/

Wow thanks for sharing this man!
I come from exactly the same place, Was completely anti-relationship until i gave in to dating her and I was never obsessed about her when i was with her.. I would avoid reading her texts sometimes to focus on the football on tv or to just doing soemthing that i felt was more worth of my time.
Its only after i lost her that the terminal one-itis came into play and i started obsessing about her..

I cannot thank you enough for sharing this..
Just reading it knowing someones been in almost exactly the same situation and came out stronger gives me goosebumps and motivation to better myself as a person and add value to the world. To not go around regretting the past but to instead invest in yourself so much so that someone even better than the one-itis can come around are enter your life is lifting


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-24-2015

Quote: (08-24-2015 05:36 AM)Ruivinho Wrote:  

Cheers for all the feedback and relatable advice guys!
I'm gonna start working out everyday from home atm until I am in a settled position where i can join a gym. Learning to cook could be good actually. I'll give it a shot.

Also bit on info on the side. I woke up this morning feeling depressed again and I realised that I havent masturbated in like 2 weeks.. I didnt feel like jacking off but i opened up xvideos and what do u know.. I've jacked off easy enough. The stress and depression got released. Masturbation really does get rid of stress. Maybe not perminantly but atleast for the time when you're feeling it.
Some of you guys might be into the no fap groups and I have looked into it myself. It really did become an addiction in my life before like a month ago when i stopped fapping for prolonged periods.

My other problem rn is figuring out what i wanna do in my life or atm anyway. Summer is almost ended. My plan of going to university in Lebanon is dead. I don't even feel like i want to go university anyway. I wanna be in a city socializing though and i know university would make that happen. At the moment im just an only child stuck in my moms house in the suburbs with nothing to do and no friends around cause they're all at their university's in different areas of the country.
I need to make a change but time goes fast and its stressing me out a bit not knowing what i wanna do. Before i got in a relationship i wanted to travel brazil for a year but now that desire feels dead. I actually loved my time in the middle east and the nighlife and social aspect. I feel kinda pissed that I cant go now because of her.

I know I'm someone that loves to travel and meet new people though so im quite motivated to start learning a language. Im thinking of trying to learn arabic. super interesting language and will blow people away to see a white euopean guy speaking it.

That's basically what I did.

P90X is the best home workout. I did that until I was in shape enough for Crossfit. All you need is a few dumbells, a chair, and a pull-up bar -

http://www.amazon.com/P90X-DVD-Workout-B...words=p90x

Tim Ferriss's "4 Hour Chef" is the perfect book for learning how to cook -

http://www.amazon.com/4-Hour-Chef-Cookin...+hour+chef

If you follow his plan and do the meals, you'll be a decent chef in a few months. From there, Gordon Ramsey's home cooking and a few others will serve as a base of meals that look good, taste good, and are healthy.

As for the rest, you're 19. You have plenty of time to figure it out.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Sonoma - 08-24-2015

Theres 3+ billion other women. Shake it off


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Saweeep - 08-24-2015

Something else to consider: the weather here is shit at the moment as you know and we haven't had anything remotely approaching a Summer in any way shape or form.

I suffer from SAD when it's like this. I don't want to kill myself or anything but it's a noticeable difference in mood and motivation.

Perhaps the weather is making this even worse for you too?

Any way of getting a week in the sun soonish?


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - el mechanico - 08-24-2015

Quote:Quote:

Mediterranean Sausage Belt (Spain, Italy, Greece)

[Image: lolwtf.gif]

I just googled that term I think you may have won the internet today RVF comes up 5th? only time used in a sentence of this nature.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-24-2015

Take Vitamin D. The more the better. I used to get SAD too. Vitamin D fixed that.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Vienna - 08-24-2015

OP; we're going through similar things at the moment.

All I can say is, there is not a better time to invest in yourself than right now.

I've been dumped twice by girls I had deep feelings for, and every time I've emerged a better man. This is my third time, and I relish these feelings because the energy they provide propel me forward in life.

Accept your feelings. They're there for a reason - you liked this girl and that's alright. Your brain and body are purging themselves of infatuation chemicals. You WILL feel better.

When you feel like contacting her, you go to the gym and deadlift until you see stars. When you can't fall asleep at night because you think about her, you fire up iTunes University and lose yourself in lectures and stories on Ancient Greece. When you wonder how you'd measure up against her new guy, go to the mall, buy some books and fitted clothes and flirt with the cashier (if she's cute).

The point is, stay active and busy. Your feelings can be harnessed into positive energy.

And remember, this will happen again. Each girl is a learning experience.

PS. I've learned from this forum, and continue to learn, that you never show jealousy. It's okay to feel it, but I think you've seen for yourself what uncaged jealousy accomplishes. You will be grateful that you learned this at 19.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - HankMoody - 08-24-2015

Quote: (08-24-2015 02:01 PM)DarianFrey Wrote:  

OP; we're going through similar things at the moment.

All I can say is, there is not a better time to invest in yourself than right now.

I've been dumped twice by girls I had deep feelings for, and every time I've emerged a better man. This is my third time, and I relish these feelings because the energy they provide propel me forward in life.

Accept your feelings. They're there for a reason - you liked this girl and that's alright. Your brain and body are purging themselves of infatuation chemicals. You WILL feel better.

When you feel like contacting her, you go to the gym and deadlift until you see stars. When you can't fall asleep at night because you think about her, you fire up iTunes University and lose yourself in lectures and stories on Ancient Greece. When you wonder how you'd measure up against her new guy, go to the mall, buy some books and fitted clothes and flirt with the cashier (if she's cute).

The point is, stay active and busy. Your feelings can be harnessed into positive energy.

And remember, this will happen again. Each girl is a learning experience.

PS. I've learned from this forum, and continue to learn, that you never show jealousy. It's okay to feel it, but I think you've seen for yourself what uncaged jealousy accomplishes. You will be grateful that you learned this at 19.

Excellent post.

I would also add that the best way to get over the oneitis, at least for awhile, is to next her. Delete her of Facebook, take her number out of your phone, delete her old emails, and do not go places where she will be. It's going to hurt for awhile. The oneitis I describe still pops up in my dreams from time to time.

Go to the gym (I recommend Crossfit, in part because you'll meet a bunch of REALLY hot chicks and cool dudes there), read up on game, learn to cook, read some books about wine, etc. Spend quality time with your bros - I like to go hunting, shoot guns, and smoke cigars.

I'd also note that game is frustrating at first. You'll get blown out by girls who aren't as hot as the ex, or the ones you bang pale in comparison. Eventually you get good at it and you'll realize that women really aren't that special. There isn't a unique snowflake, and in fact, there are many women you are be compatible with.

It's going to hurt for awhile. But eventually the pain turns to healing, and you become a better dude for it.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - BetaNoMore - 08-25-2015

Some good stuff already said in this thread.

One thing I'll mention is for next time, you really need to not let your emotions dictate your actions. I've been guilty of this in the past (maybe even the present) too and you end up doing things that you'll be ashamed of. In your situation, you likely could not have fixed the situation even if you did do the right thing because she wanted to be "tour around" with this guy but it was likely that nothing you would have done could have mattered.

But where you did fuck up on is you went down a spiral of emotional turmoil. You tried to regain control of the situation so you contacted her incessantly and tried to shame her for her actions. When that didn't work, you became more desperate and contact the other guy threatening him. You contacted her friends, got her mom involved and all of it was just an attempt to manage your out of control emotions and to regain some semblance of certainty. I know dude, it fucking sucks but in the future, a lot of times the best thing to do is to do nothing. You should have sat back and then re-assessed. Waiting and being powerless is often the most painful thing to do but the reality is, there's a lot of things we can't control and we can't try to "fix" everything.

Chance are, you likely built her up in your head and she wasn't this wonderful virginal wife that would love you forever. Those expectations along with her being your first real "love" will make this hurt for a while but you'll get over it. Everyone does. If you follow the advice given in this thread, the road to recovery might seem even more difficult at first, but it'll be more efficient and make you better off.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Phatom - 08-25-2015

For a reason it's called game. When you play a game you lose a lot of times and you start a new set. Staying on the same set will only slow you down.

In blue pill terminology: You have many soul mates not one. By being obsessed with one girl you are depriving your other soulmates of not being with you.


Broke up. Now all time low of depression - Off The Reservation - 08-25-2015

I say this having been there when I was younger so I mean no disrespect. You are addicted to self pity and to the idea that you "loved" her. EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE is not love, it is just a sick sad thing in place of not only love but all the things mentioned here to better a man's life. Spend a few years making yourself into the great man you want to be and you will see you attract better girls.

And by all means smash as many sluts as you can in the meantime.