[Cheetah]

My inconsistent game is very annoying to say the least because I lose girls unnecessarily. I don't know if there is a good solution but I will at least make a try and ask here.

On a good day my game is not bad at all. I'm outgoing, social and do all the tricks in the book without even thinking about it.

Problem is, that only happens sometimes. Most often it is on the same day that I've done something exciting so I'm in the mood and my confidence is good. It has happened to me too many times though that this isn't the case.

I could start well off with a girl but when I notice that the girl is receptive to my approach I just don't believe in it. Fake it till you make it won't work, as the girl picks up that I just don't believe in it and she loses interest.

When I've travelled it has happened that I thought 'great, this is a hidden pussy paradise, and it's not even mentioned as a particularly pickup friendly city'. Then, I realised that because I travelled and was excited about the new environment, that's probably the reason that the gaming was going so good, not necessarily because of the general receptiveness of the girls.

Any ideas of a solution? I can't go skydiving or something everyday that I need to spit good game, just to get into the mood.

[LINUX]

This happens when guys fail to mold their game around their personality type. Most PuA spam videos focus on extroverted game. Introverted game doesn't sell products or make for interesting videos but it's very successful if done right.

Most of dates involves very little talking at all , only touching, kissing, and listening. I'm not faking anything at all , just being myself.

Have you tried this approach before?

[Cheetah]

(11-30-2015 05:47 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

This happens when guys fail to mold their game around their personality type. Most PuA spam videos focus on extroverted game. Introverted game doesn't sell products or make for interesting videos but it's very successful if done right.

Most of dates involves very little talking at all , only touching, kissing, and listening. I'm not faking anything at all , just being myself.

Have you tried this approach before?

It's just that I don't always have the confidence to act upon and show my personality.

I'll take an example. I daygamed a girl outside a restaurant who might be a 7.5 but I really fancied her because she's young, maybe 19, and dressed and dolled up exactly as I like. I comment on how she looks and she really likes that I appreciate her more than others who might not like her style as much. We make some small talk, she seems and looks interested and I think that it might be appropriate to make some kino. Not because I read it in a book but because I spontaneously think that's the way to interact with her.

On a good day I would make some kino and look into her eyes and smile/smirk simultaneously. But when I'm not in the mood or don't have the confidence I might make some kino but I would look down on the floor and probably look like this is not going to work out. After that it's game over.

If I were to play the 'not so forward' game she would probably notice that I truly want to be more forward but don't have the guts to, so that's not good either. If I've been around lots people for a whole day, that would increase my game.

[OregonToSoCal]

OP I'm right there with you. It's been about 3 months since I've done any gaming at all or even gone on a date. I had a lot of things in my life hitting at once and I was hopelessly burned out on everything so the extended break was very much needed. Fast forward to now and for the first time in years I'm experiencing hard core anxiety at the thought of even approaching a woman or meeting up through online means (tinder, okc etc.).

In spite of having a lot of success and being pretty good in social situations my confidence in doing just that is at an all time low. I've been hitting the gym regularly, improving my diet and every foundational thing in my life that I can but the knots in my stomach are still there. I know it's just something I need to push through and I'll be back to where I was or better in short order.

The bottom line is that in my opinion our game is closely tied to our confidence and how we view ourselves from day to day. So you experiencing wide swings in having your A game one day and your C game the next seem completely normal.

[birthday cat]

I have the same problem and I'm still working on it but here are some ideas.

Internalize your game. You might need more practice so your game happens naturally. Focus on execution of basic concepts more than learning advanced concepts. And what Linux said is important - it will be much harder to internalize something if it goes against with your natural personality.

Exercise before going out to increase your energy levels. You can also do this routine from Elliott Hulse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIdyfw4CbI0 - skip to 4:10 for the good part. I've seen PUA gurus teach the same thing but I would rather link to an Elliott Hulse video.

Meditate before going out. It stabilizes your mood.

Understand which areas of your game are affected the most. For example, my game at bars and especially night clubs isn't very good which isn't surprising since I don't like being out late drinking and I prefer more conservative girls. I should probably spend a lot of time improving this or give it up and concentrate on other areas.

[Cheetah]

(11-30-2015 07:22 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

OP I'm right there with you. It's been about 3 months since I've done any gaming at all or even gone on a date. I had a lot of things in my life hitting at once and I was hopelessly burned out on everything so the extended break was very much needed. Fast forward to now and for the first time in years I'm experiencing hard core anxiety at the thought of even approaching a woman or meeting up through online means (tinder, okc etc.).

In spite of having a lot of success and being pretty good in social situations my confidence in doing just that is at an all time low. I've been hitting the gym regularly, improving my diet and every foundational thing in my life that I can but the knots in my stomach are still there. I know it's just something I need to push through and I'll be back to where I was or better in short order.

The bottom line is that in my opinion our game is closely tied to our confidence and how we view ourselves from day to day. So you experiencing wide swings in having your A game one day and your C game the next seem completely normal.

Why is our game so closely linked to our confidence?

There are guys out there who is pulling left and right while still having almost zero confidence at the time.

[Cheetah]

(11-30-2015 07:32 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

I have the same problem and I'm still working on it but here are some ideas.

Internalize your game. You might need more practice so your game happens naturally. Focus on execution of basic concepts more than learning advanced concepts.

On a good day my game happens naturally.

Is your game inconsistent?

[Cheetah]

I made some probably unscientific personality tests but anyway, I was definitely extroverted. I need lots of stimuli to function well. It makes sense as the best game of mine lately was in the evening when I earlier that whole day was among and interacted with lots of people. But there must be some way to be able to spit good game without having done some stuff that you gives you energy/confidence.

[Jagnum]

(11-30-2015 08:21 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

I made some probably unscientific personality tests but anyway, I was definitely extroverted.

If something great has happened to me in the day, I'm definitely more likely to have more solid game. Things that put me into state: taking a leadership role like speaking in front of an audience, making a weak approach and getting a phone number out of it, having sex, things like that.

I take my cues from Roosh on this subject.

In Day Bang, he says that if you feel like you're in state, go somewhere where you'll be able to game (bus stop, the street).

Now during the day this is difficult because if you see a cute girl, and you aren't in state, you might get nervous about making an approach. That's okay.

You wrote you are extroverted, so warm yourself up. Start talking to strangers on your way home from work about anything, and you'll find yourself more ready to make an approach. Look, you'll never be perfectly prepared to approach. Roosh says if you don't feel a little nervous when you approach, you're probably not approaching a hot enough girl or a difficult enough set.

My own advice is that if you hold this implementation intention during the day, "If I see a cute girl by herself, I will approach her," it takes the stressful decision aspect out of your approach. I'd be lying if I told you that I always adhere to this rule, but having it in place forces me to make less excuses for not approaching. There's no such thing as perfect consistency.

Another thing that helps me relax is to know my answers to the main questions a girl will ask, the things that inevitably will come up in conversation (where you're from, why you moved, how old you are, what you do, what else you like to do, where you live). If those answers won't make her smile or intrigue her in someway, go back to the drawing board and figure out how to make them more interesting. If you really feel like exposing yourself, post how you might answer those questions on the forum and perhaps some guys can help you reframe your response.

[memcpy]

You don't have to be "on" all the time when you approach. It helps when it happens but it's better to not rely on it. If it's rainy, dark, crappy weather you don't smile like it's summer. You say, "Man this weather sucks, can't wait until summer rolls around."

You acknowledge the negative but put a positive spin on it.

Also being consistent requires approaching tons of girls, getting tons of responses, going through tons of experiences. It sounds like you are approaching but you don't know what really works or doesn't.

I would focus on playing the numbers game exclusively while in this phase.

[birthday cat]

(11-30-2015 08:10 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

(11-30-2015 07:32 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

I have the same problem and I'm still working on it but here are some ideas.

Internalize your game. You might need more practice so your game happens naturally. Focus on execution of basic concepts more than learning advanced concepts.

On a good day my game happens naturally.

Is your game inconsistent?

Yes my game is inconsistent. My recommendation on internalization is based on my experiences with game which is not something I'm an expert at and my experiences with other things in which I'm at a more advanced level.

Your other comments suggest the biggest issue is your energy level. Doing anything that goes against your natural personality will diminish your energy levels and approaching girls is one of the few things (or maybe the only thing) that requires a lot of energy even if you are an extrovert. This isn't bro science but I'm too tired and lazy to find a source right now

There are some evolutionary theories for why men are scared to approach women.

[WestIndianArchie]

Inconsistency in game is typically one of two things
- not enough practice
- inconsistent life

I'm not a day game expert, but i can't imagine too many target dense situations that occur everyday. With night game, the problem is finding your niche and developing a circuit. Online game is a true volume approach.

So overall it's become harder and harder to talk to lots of women all the time. That is what you need to do to get better, there are no substitutes..?

Thing is, most off the time we are all surrounded by people constantly. So you need to engage strangers all the time.

So it's not just cute girls, but anyone you come across. You need to be that guy who talks to everyone. We all know someone like that.

Personally, I'm an introvert. I prefer solitude, quiet.
When i take my morning train, i avoid cars with kids and teenagers. I want those moments where i can hear myself think. Tend to get irritable without it.

But much like lifting weights, i have to push myself to enter the fray. A smile, a nod, gestures, reactions. I get my non verbal game going until my mind is ready to chat.

Every day.

Through interaction with many, i can interact with the few. This includes any young lady i might come across.

I no longer have to turn it on, because socializing takes no special emotional effort, and a chick failing to engage me, is like the old man who doesn't want to chat.

I'm cutting out the approach anxiety, the need to get into state, the fear of rejection, the not knowing what to say next and the transition.

The next typical problem is escalation, but that's a topic for a different post.

WIA

[Dalaran1991]

Having seen your game in person I would confirm that it depends on your mood, but I would also say that your mood depends largely on your preference.

You seem to be more natural when the girls fit your profile, and more game-like when the girl is definitely WB but not 100% your type.

I see the good and the bad with this. While on one hand being on freeflow let you spit a more natural game it also makes it much easier to go off track and slip into pitfalls, and feel like this girl is "different".

When you are game-aware, you definitely have a working game, though you may feel less motivated.

So I think it's more of a cognitive dissonance between your game state and your emotional state. Can you condition your mind to feel excited and enthusiastic even if the girl is not exactly your type?

Also, I think it's more important to really internalize the game you spit when you do bang a girl that you like. There's a big difference between a game that makes you feel good and a game that gets you laid. The young chick you gave as example, did you bang/kiss her? If not, your game at that moment might actually not be as good as your game at other time when you do get laid.

A lot of the time girls are just happy that there's a guy running game on them so they will play along but will not go any further, therefore giving you false positive.

Quote:

Why is our game so closely linked to our confidence?

Game is basically applied confidence in seduction.

Quote:

There are guys out there who is pulling left and right while still having almost zero confidence at the time.

I highly doubt this is true. They may not feel confident in other aspects in life but they must know what they are doing with girls to be able to pull "left and right", unless they are pulling drunk/drugged girls.

[OregonToSoCal]

(11-30-2015 08:03 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

(11-30-2015 07:22 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

OP I'm right there with you. It's been about 3 months since I've done any gaming at all or even gone on a date. I had a lot of things in my life hitting at once and I was hopelessly burned out on everything so the extended break was very much needed. Fast forward to now and for the first time in years I'm experiencing hard core anxiety at the thought of even approaching a woman or meeting up through online means (tinder, okc etc.).

In spite of having a lot of success and being pretty good in social situations my confidence in doing just that is at an all time low. I've been hitting the gym regularly, improving my diet and every foundational thing in my life that I can but the knots in my stomach are still there. I know it's just something I need to push through and I'll be back to where I was or better in short order.

The bottom line is that in my opinion our game is closely tied to our confidence and how we view ourselves from day to day. So you experiencing wide swings in having your A game one day and your C game the next seem completely normal.

Why is our game so closely linked to our confidence?

There are guys out there who is pulling left and right while still having almost zero confidence at the time.

Dalaran already summed it up but I happen to be reading Models by Mark Manson again and he discussed "true confidence" and "false confidence" in depth and how it applies to game. If you haven't his book yet I highly recommend it.

[Cheetah]

Jagnum and WIA - I think that's a good idea to be outgoing and social with 'everyone'.

Dalaran - this girl I was truly attracted to so no need to fake it there. But I agree, sometimes with girls who aren't exactly my type I might need to fake interest a little more.

The game that gets me laid is the game that I am most content with. That type of game is more like an 'auto pilot' game.

You are probably right when you say that you need some type of confidence with girls to successfully game them, even if that person might not have confidence in other areas of life.

I usually get a reasonably good feeling for if a girl is genuinely interested (for example, my previous predictions if a girl will answer texts) and I think that this girl was initially genuinely interested. The reason that her interest made a 180, I would guess, is that I didn't believe in what I did. So I definitely agree that my game was far from good that day.

OregonToSoCal - care to give a very very brief résumé of the differences?

[OregonToSoCal]

(12-01-2015 04:40 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

OregonToSoCal - care to give a very very brief résumé of the differences?

In a nutshell according to Manson false confidence is based on performance, trickery and compensating for various insecurities. True confidence is based on a strong sense of self, putting ones own needs before others and not caring what others think. In other words, genuine alpha men embody true confidence without even thinking about it. It's just how they are, almost at a DNA level, and it's not a performance.

It's definitely worth a read and along with Bang and Day Bang it's one of the most highly recommended books on the forum.

[XXL]

Learn how to talk to girls in a normal baseline mood you're usually into.

Ideally you should be able to game right after you wake up. That's when you become one with set of behavior you now emulate with a help from excited mood.

Besides being bored is actually good mood to be in when talking to a girl cause then you start to take initiative to entertain yourself and project it onto a girl. That's when you express yourself in many different ways which is exciting unpredictable contrasting to a girl.