First of all i want to say thank you to everyone who helped me on this thread. You guys deserve an update. A week ago my friend was scrolling through his old tinder matches and found the girl i am dating, he panicked and messaged me "is this your girl?" and it turned out to be her. This meant 1) she's been using tinder throughout the whole time we were dating (1 month+) and 2) she's still using it. A few days ago my friend decided to message her to see if she's active and she messages back. Turns out to be still active. It was a hard one to swallow, i thought to myself, why is she on tinder while telling me she's too busy to hang out with me?
So up until now it's a week and a half without any communication between us. She calls me all of a sudden earlier today. I was happy when i saw her name pop on the screen, i thought yes, i knew she would think about me sooner or later. The conversation was 45 seconds long. She told me the words no guy ever wants to hear.
"You're a great guy and i've had fun with you, but i just don't feel like there's a spark between us. I felt bad for not messaging you for so long and wanted to tell you the truth today. Hope it's okay and we can still be friends."
I knew it was coming to an end seeing as we went from chatting nearly every single day to the 1.5 week break. I told her, "It's okay, i understand, that's how it goes. But i respect you calling and telling me rather than ghosting. See you around."
I feel sad because i saw so much in this girl, but also feel stupid for getting too emotionally invested. Im quite confused to what this bullshit excuse is "no spark" between us. Who would go on 4 dates if they didn't have a spark for another person? I feel like she meant the spark was gone = she lost interest in the end.
I can come to peace of mind and move on with my life if you guys could help me understand this situation better so i don't end up in the same with the next girl.
My analysis of this:
1) I believe since she's 18 and so young she's just out for fun and fuck around, not settle down with a boyfriend. and i was sending provider and boyfriend vibes throughout this whole thing, which is my big mistake. She's very adventures and only been with one guy when all her friends around her are talking about guys and sex all the time, while she feels left out. She has a fear of missing out. That's how i see it.
2) Im still not quite sure why she called to say "it's over". Maybe she felt somewhat guilty or ashamed of just banging me and then walking away as it's not usually part of her character. But she's not interested and this is her way of feeling better about herself.
3) Maybe it's not actually something i did wrong, but just her losing interest and potentially have met someone else who is more fun and exciting. And this is her excuse to get out of this whole thing, by saying "i don't feel a spark anymore".
4) the sex wasn't what she expected from someone 4 years older than her. She expected more experience and took the chance to dip out using a different excuse.
Anyhow... Most of you guys were right, i was naiv and thought this girl "was different". This is a huge red pill to swallow. I will take it as a huge learning experience rather than a defeat.
So up until now it's a week and a half without any communication between us. She calls me all of a sudden earlier today. I was happy when i saw her name pop on the screen, i thought yes, i knew she would think about me sooner or later. The conversation was 45 seconds long. She told me the words no guy ever wants to hear.
"You're a great guy and i've had fun with you, but i just don't feel like there's a spark between us. I felt bad for not messaging you for so long and wanted to tell you the truth today. Hope it's okay and we can still be friends."
I knew it was coming to an end seeing as we went from chatting nearly every single day to the 1.5 week break. I told her, "It's okay, i understand, that's how it goes. But i respect you calling and telling me rather than ghosting. See you around."
I feel sad because i saw so much in this girl, but also feel stupid for getting too emotionally invested. Im quite confused to what this bullshit excuse is "no spark" between us. Who would go on 4 dates if they didn't have a spark for another person? I feel like she meant the spark was gone = she lost interest in the end.
I can come to peace of mind and move on with my life if you guys could help me understand this situation better so i don't end up in the same with the next girl.
My analysis of this:
1) I believe since she's 18 and so young she's just out for fun and fuck around, not settle down with a boyfriend. and i was sending provider and boyfriend vibes throughout this whole thing, which is my big mistake. She's very adventures and only been with one guy when all her friends around her are talking about guys and sex all the time, while she feels left out. She has a fear of missing out. That's how i see it.
2) Im still not quite sure why she called to say "it's over". Maybe she felt somewhat guilty or ashamed of just banging me and then walking away as it's not usually part of her character. But she's not interested and this is her way of feeling better about herself.
3) Maybe it's not actually something i did wrong, but just her losing interest and potentially have met someone else who is more fun and exciting. And this is her excuse to get out of this whole thing, by saying "i don't feel a spark anymore".
4) the sex wasn't what she expected from someone 4 years older than her. She expected more experience and took the chance to dip out using a different excuse.
Anyhow... Most of you guys were right, i was naiv and thought this girl "was different". This is a huge red pill to swallow. I will take it as a huge learning experience rather than a defeat.