Quote: (03-12-2019 01:21 PM)Baphomet Wrote:
Quote: (03-12-2019 08:32 AM)chvrches Wrote:
She sent me a text saying "Sorry im answering so late, i've been busy and also got plans tonight! But we really do have to find a day soon, it's been way too long!"
My plan is to not ask again, and instead have her initiate whenever she's free. I answered her very short, "fair enough, text me whenever you're free again".
My question is, when she initiates contact again and texts me asking to hang out, is it a good idea to run some dread? Either ignore her text or Telling her "Sorry im busy" or "can't tonight". Then wait a few days again and hit her up. I want her to be thinking "what's he doing, whats he up to? did he meet somebody else? did he lose interest because of my unavailability?"
There is no "dread" here. She has NOTHING to "dread".
Dread game is used when there is an emotional investment/attachment on the part of the woman. The "dread" comes into play only when she fears that the man does not value the relationship as much as she does, and believes that she might be easily replaceable.
This woman has nothing to dread because she has exactly zero emotional investment. You are tertiary entertainment to her. That is made plainly obvious in that dismissive text.
I see no value to you in reaching out to her again.
I don't disagree with you Baphomet, but let me explain my thoughts behind this. Throughout these 4 dates it's been leading up to a LTR since the beginning. It started so slowly and gradually built up until after 4th date and we had sex. It's not like a girl wants to waste 4 dates with you if she ONLY want to have sex with you, and not enjoy your company and personality.
Ok fair enough, worst case scenario she used me for "entertainment" only. But it's hard for me to grasp this fact because she literally been saying to me how happy she finally is to meeting someone that shares so many interests like her, meditates, loves reading books, is spontaneous, adventures, shares same humor. She's emotionally invested in a way that she keeps asking me if ive ever ghosted girls before, if ive ever cheated before, and many questions to test the waters, and also saying she would be angry and mad if i dropped contact with her. She was also invested in a way that she was the one ALWAYS initiating contact, sending me random texts throughout the day, cute pictures throghout the week and has already told her friends about me.
I'd like to believe that to be true, because she's a traditional girl with a notch count of 1. She literally doesn't use social media except for facebook to communicate with her classmates, no instagram, no snapchat, no whoring around. So this is why it's so weird for me that she would lose interest purely because of one bad sexual experience. So i'd like to believe it's not the case and she's just "busy".
But when all that is said and done, i can 100% understand where you're coming from, they say "dont listen to what a girl says, instead look at what she does" and im conflicted because she does show she wants to start a relationship with me, the way she's romantic and sweet when we're together. All this before even sex happened.
I do have minor onetis for her otherwise i probably wouldn't have posted about her. But she's the closest girl i've dated to a "unicorn" or a "good girl" even though i hate those words. So it would be a shame to lose her over something so shallow. I can move on without a problem, but i think it will always bug me and bother me if i don't find out the reason for her loss of attraction. How will i learn the next time.