Quote: (04-16-2015 02:31 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:
Quote: (04-16-2015 12:04 AM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:
Damn. I am pretty sure that I am guilty of arrogant, flippant attitude and have teased far too heavily in the past. Over the top. It scared the shit out of a couple of girls. Both were really into me but I never got them to open up because of poor behavior on my part.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's about reading the girl's responses and tailoring your approaches on the fly based upon their personality.
You couldn't use this style of world-weary game on a Party Girl in her Prime: she'd be ignoring you for her phone halfway through a speech about any kind of emotion. Keep it light, keep it fun, keep her party going.
Some girls will thrive on teasing and arrogance, and know how to tease and frustrate back. Keep those skills in your toolbox.
Women are women, so there's never a guarantee. Remember I said I've been at this for 28+ years? I can still misread girls, try the wrong approach and strike out. I tend to default to cheeky, low-key humour as it's easier to correct the conversation in either direction. Is she good-natured? Keep it agreeable. Is she snarky? Dial up your sarcasm. You learn to be multiple versions of yourself.
Roardog has a big advantage here in that she's clearly laying out her fears and insecurities for him to read, though I'd take 'first date in 3 years' with a grain of salt, as she's a girl: the hurt could have happened last week.
It's also possible she'll warm up in person, and he'll have to change his approach entirely. Read her mood. Is she reflective and low key, or is she looking to have a fun time?
Your advice worked as it has entirely turned her around. I let her talk about herself and gave vague examples of my past "I was in a similar position to you last year and I know how scary it can feel".
As soon as I did that boom, her fears have settled and she's back on board. Suddenly she's texting me asking how my night is going and other things about me.
The only thing is I have now discovered is our logistics are shit. She lives a 45 minute drive from me and studies at a uni which is even further away from where I live. Not sure how we matched on Tinder as I keep my radius to 5km.