^
Nah, this isn't odd at all.
I doubt it's over. She's using vague girl language. "I don't think I can..." She hadn't made a definite decision and wants reassurance.
This is the regret speech of too many pumps and dumps.
Interestingly, the dismissive-avoidant tell: "It's not like I'm looking for a husband but I don't want a fling either," instantly swerves into a declaration of need after all: "I really want someone, I've been alone for too long." She started off trying to be cool, but is either letting her guard down or faking letting her guard down to offer you vulnerability and fire up your masculine side: I'm just a vulnerable girl with a fragile heart, are you willing to be my Protector?
She's recognising you're high value, and she's trying to raise her value in your eyes so you don't see her as an easy lay.
If you say "OK", and disengage, you failed her test and she proved to herself you were just a player.
You could easily run girlfriend game on her, but I'll assume you're after the notch.
You could try cocky-distancing:
"Slow down. Why do you assume drinks mean sex? I haven't decided if I'm sleeping with you yet."
Appeal To Coolness:
"Ah, I don't know. Is coffee really a social lubricant? I mean, how much flirting do you really think happens at a McCafé?"
Teasing:
"So, you want a safe meet without the thrill of risk? I can see a lot awkward showbag-holding in your future as I ride the Hurricane with our kids."
See what she says. Keep teasing:
"Daadddd... why is mummy always so borrrrring."
Ask For Her Deep Insight:
"I don't know about that. Don't you think it's harder for people to hide who they really are after a few drinks? I've know a guy whose always apologising for being a total bastard when he's drunk, but I'm sure that's who he really is inside and beer is the excuse he uses for being a douche. You know anyone like that?"
Romance:
"My grandparents met in a bar. They were together for 50 years until my gran passed on, and in all that time he would only drink Johnnie Walker because that's what he was drinking when he first saw her."
[Actually true, in my case, though I'm sure the second half was him gaming her].
Tell Me More About You:
"Interesting. Do your ever friends tell you that you worry too far into the future? Like, you're worrying about things that might never happen rather than just dealing with things if and when they happen."
Faux-arrogant Humour:
"I know, I know. It's understandable. You're worried what you'll do when you're in the same room as me. Relax. I'm a master at deflecting the wandering hands of naughty girls who should know better by now."
[^ Probably too lightweight a joke for this girl.]
Or deflect the conversation entirely for now with clown game. Think of it as coming in for an aborted-landing, then circling the airport for another pass.
"Coffee? I dunno... those places make me uncomfortable / are creepy."
Let her ask why.
"All those bored suburban mums drink lattes in packs and look at me like I'm a piece of meat. My eye's are up here ladies."
or
"I'm sure they're running a cloning operation. Have you noticed? Every time I go in for coffee, I'm worried I'll come out with skinny jeans and a Hipster Beard."
or
"We'd be the most interesting couple in there. You know: there'll be some creepy nerd tapping away on an iMac and eavesdropping on everything we say, trying to learn how normal people talk. Ten months from now, bang!, we're in his novel, and your Mum calls you to tell you her friends think you're not playing hard enough to get."
Lots of options. You might be able to think of better ones. In all these cases you're selling the bar as the adult meeting place, and coffee as boring, safe and conformist.
Good luck.
Nah, this isn't odd at all.
I doubt it's over. She's using vague girl language. "I don't think I can..." She hadn't made a definite decision and wants reassurance.
This is the regret speech of too many pumps and dumps.
Interestingly, the dismissive-avoidant tell: "It's not like I'm looking for a husband but I don't want a fling either," instantly swerves into a declaration of need after all: "I really want someone, I've been alone for too long." She started off trying to be cool, but is either letting her guard down or faking letting her guard down to offer you vulnerability and fire up your masculine side: I'm just a vulnerable girl with a fragile heart, are you willing to be my Protector?
She's recognising you're high value, and she's trying to raise her value in your eyes so you don't see her as an easy lay.
If you say "OK", and disengage, you failed her test and she proved to herself you were just a player.
You could easily run girlfriend game on her, but I'll assume you're after the notch.
You could try cocky-distancing:
"Slow down. Why do you assume drinks mean sex? I haven't decided if I'm sleeping with you yet."
Appeal To Coolness:
"Ah, I don't know. Is coffee really a social lubricant? I mean, how much flirting do you really think happens at a McCafé?"
Teasing:
"So, you want a safe meet without the thrill of risk? I can see a lot awkward showbag-holding in your future as I ride the Hurricane with our kids."
See what she says. Keep teasing:
"Daadddd... why is mummy always so borrrrring."
Ask For Her Deep Insight:
"I don't know about that. Don't you think it's harder for people to hide who they really are after a few drinks? I've know a guy whose always apologising for being a total bastard when he's drunk, but I'm sure that's who he really is inside and beer is the excuse he uses for being a douche. You know anyone like that?"
Romance:
"My grandparents met in a bar. They were together for 50 years until my gran passed on, and in all that time he would only drink Johnnie Walker because that's what he was drinking when he first saw her."
[Actually true, in my case, though I'm sure the second half was him gaming her].
Tell Me More About You:
"Interesting. Do your ever friends tell you that you worry too far into the future? Like, you're worrying about things that might never happen rather than just dealing with things if and when they happen."
Faux-arrogant Humour:
"I know, I know. It's understandable. You're worried what you'll do when you're in the same room as me. Relax. I'm a master at deflecting the wandering hands of naughty girls who should know better by now."
[^ Probably too lightweight a joke for this girl.]
Or deflect the conversation entirely for now with clown game. Think of it as coming in for an aborted-landing, then circling the airport for another pass.
"Coffee? I dunno... those places make me uncomfortable / are creepy."
Let her ask why.
"All those bored suburban mums drink lattes in packs and look at me like I'm a piece of meat. My eye's are up here ladies."
or
"I'm sure they're running a cloning operation. Have you noticed? Every time I go in for coffee, I'm worried I'll come out with skinny jeans and a Hipster Beard."
or
"We'd be the most interesting couple in there. You know: there'll be some creepy nerd tapping away on an iMac and eavesdropping on everything we say, trying to learn how normal people talk. Ten months from now, bang!, we're in his novel, and your Mum calls you to tell you her friends think you're not playing hard enough to get."
Lots of options. You might be able to think of better ones. In all these cases you're selling the bar as the adult meeting place, and coffee as boring, safe and conformist.
Good luck.