Okay, I'm looking for some advice, primarily from those who are familiar with my story; had a horrible case of oneitis with my best friend of 17 years and had to break up with her for good. Almost started getting back out there to learn game, but ran into some health problems which delayed me for a while longer.
Now I'm slowly trying to start back up again, and have some new potential women to practice on. I started using Tinder and that opened the door a crack:
Girl 1 -
I met this 26 year old latina actress. very hot. I coaxed her into chatting with me about the business and got her to be an extra in the really cool pilot I'm producing here in LA (a physical 9/10). I think I handled the text game with her well (despite her crappy one word responses). I also edited her acting reel, and did a very slick job which seemed to impress her. She tried getting political with me in one of our exchanges, and I quickly realized we don't have an intellectual connection whatsoever, but I handled that well too (holding my ground but changing the subject and keeping it light).
Then she agreed to meet me for a drink, and flaked out. I got to the bar, waited and waited. She pulled the whole pretending to be confused about the plans bit. So I never contacted her again. Although I thought it might be fun to send her my blog post about the political issue she brought up, where I make fun of her position. But that would probably be way more attention than the airhead deserves.
Girl 2 -
HOT super cute petite Russian girl, 25, who's done some modeling in the past. Probably a 9 for some, but a 10 in my book, just my type. Unlike girl 1, she is highly intelligent, down to earth and funny. I roped her into chatting with me using the subject of meditation as well as fitness and nutrition. She had a lot of fun chatting with me and seemed fairly eager to meet up. So we made plans.
What was kind of hilarious about this was that she's not an LA girl and has a different cultural background. She made it virtually impossible to follow any "gaming" rules. She wanted an old fashioned date; even insisted that I pick her up. I'm like, fuck, okay, doing this the old fashioned way…
We first went to a gluten free bakery to get some treats for later, then had dinner at a very cozy, dim romantic restaurant. Bare in mind this all ended up being in her neighborhood, so I wasn't familiar with anywhere we went. This made it extra challenging, but thankfully the plans worked out smoothly. After dinner we went to see Interstellar. We had fun, laughed together, and she told me some very personal history. Probably a shit test. she talked openly about sex too.
Sadly I didn't close. Wanted to try holding her hand at the movie, but I wasn't getting the right signals, and over all I was probably too nice and beta. I kept thinking frame, frame, frame, but it was a challenge since this was my first date in a long time. With all the added commotion and pressure of taking her out the old fashioned way I had to sort of roll with my regular personality. Not too bad, but I definitely came across as nervous (which she pointed out, but said it was cute - another shit test I'm sure) and over accommodating.
It's going to take some practice to get my frame right. At the end of the night I walked her to the door and went in for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I think she thought I was going in for a real kiss because she gave me the dreaded head turn and I caught her in the neck, giving the night an awkward ending. I was sure I was in the friend-zone category after that point. I still think that might be the case, but she did text me a sticker the next day of a cute cartoon space character in reference to Interstellar. She's been vacationing with her family and we've been chatting just a little here and there.
I think I just might have managed to catch her interest once again by not paying a lot of attention to her, trying to sound a little more cocky and self amused, and then re-engaging with music sharing. She seems to like my taste in things and my philosophical side. The other day I told her I was overwhelmed and needed a good hike and some yoga. she then responded: "Lets do Runyon [canyon] when I get back!" she gets back into town this Sun, and we will probably meet up the following weekend since I work. So I might have one more chance to redeem myself, but if I fuck this one up, it's all over.
Definitely interested in this one, so any advice is welcome. I'm thinking we'll do a hike followed by some outdoor yoga. Then I'll tell her I have a meeting so there's a time constraint and I look important haha (probably go home and nap), but see if she wants to get a drink later that night.
Girl 3 - This woman is from my home state. We met at a big party at my bachelor pad in college. It was the first time I'd attracted a 10. I slept with a couple of 10s later on, but this was the first time I realized I could attract them. She was 19 at the time, and already working as a model. I was sort of dating a 7 who was also at the party, but left when she saw me chatting and dancing with the 10. Couldn't help myself, and this should have been the beginning of my career as a player. She gave me a really tight hug as she was leaving with a huge smile, which shook me up inside.
Unfortunately I was too big of an insecure beta mess from never getting any in high school and it didn't work out. We got together a couple of times with some other friends, and I definitely remember some IOIs. But when I tried to get her to meet me for dinner she got all weird and flakey so I gave up. If only I'd been more studied at that point of my life. We did stay connected on Facebook, but she ultimately disappeared, moving to LA (years before I did), then Hong Kong, and then back to LA.
Fast forward about 10 years; I'm producing this pilot and we're looking for hot model types so I reach out to her, and she happens to be friends with one of the name actors on the shoot. she agreed and even ended up with a speaking role.
She's got a very interesting personality, and I don't know if I mean that in a good way or not. It's hard to tell just how smart she is. She seems to convey more depth than the average bear, but is also weirdly quiet and stoic. But then she'll walk right up, look you dead in the eye and penetrate you with one of the nicest glowing smiles you've ever seen. Had to focus all my energy on using the right body language and not fidgeting like a pussy lol. There's a real elegance about her, just hard to tell how much of it's a facade.
I made sure to play it very cool, and just look busy on set, and I did catch her watching me at one point. I honestly wasn't really planning on gaming her (this was also the day that Girl 1 was on set as an extra so I was sort of trying to game her), but I figured if I happen to spark a little interest some how, it might be fun to entertain the notion of hitting what I missed out on in the past; kind of a little revenge fantasy - but I know if I get too caught up in the idea I'll blow it because that's just what I do. I can also tell she's the type who likes to send mixed signals and appear interested as a way of being friendly or something. It's a weird model thing…
Anyway, we exchanged a couple short messages on Facebook, and I dropped some old blankets off at her place for an animal shelter after she posted about it. I cracked a couple jokes in our FB chat which made her laugh, but she wasn't overly responsive, and I was extremely busy with work and the holidays. Then a couple of days ago I got the inclination to see what happens if I invite her out casually on FB, just to test the waters and see how she reacts (I'd also noticed on FB that she spent new years with her family and there's no evidence she's got a BF). I didn't make it sound like a date or anything, which might have been a mistake, but I thought it might work slightly better and I could make a bigger impression this way. I wrote:
"Hey! happy holidays. hope u had fun in [home state]. Saw some recent pics, looks like you're doing a lot of film work. that's awesome! have to introduce you to some of my friends who are producing and directing things. Sat [creator/star of the pilot] and i are taking [famous actor] out for dinner in venice w his wife and a few others. Fri having martinis w some friends at the [bar we both frequent]. usually run into industry friends (not that i have any others) down that way. Welcome to join either, and i can let you know about future events, table reads etc if u like. take care!"
She responded:
"Hey! Yeah I worked in 8 movies from June to the end of the year! I would love that. I am still back home though. I return on Tuesday. I'd love to get together when I'm back! Hope you had great holidays!"
I waited a full day to respond. In the meantime I started a heavy intellectual discussion on my page which got a lot of attention and she gave it a like, which she never has before. Not that I'm reading into that much, but based on some of her posts I think we actually see eye to eye philosophically, as we're both engaged in various types of activism.
So, after a day of not opening her reply, I responded: "wow 8 films that's outstanding. sounds great travel safe." I kind of wish I hadn't validated her at all and just left it at - "sounds great travel safe", and nothing else, but oh well. I'll improve over time with practice. Now I just have to figure out the right strategy and see if I can pull something off with this strange beauty, who's probably around 29/30 now. Still a knock out. Should be interesting. Going to try my best to hold frame and not let her affect or intimidate me with her hypnotic looks.
Girl 4
This one is a 7 or maybe a strong 6. She's cute, in shape, beautiful eyes, and totally connects with me on an intellectual level. She's kind of a radical anarchist/libertarian chick (also antifeminist which is cool) and we connected through online activism. I tried setting her up with a roommate when she was moving, and we started hanging out.
Some folks on this forum had suggested that I try to hook up with some sixes just to break my 4-year dry spell and oneitis problem. She's probably perfect for this. The problem is that I just can't get into anyone lower than an 8. it's like a mental disorder. I have such a complex about looks I don't think I could even get turned on by someone unless I really think they're "hot". I don't like this about myself because she would be an excellent woman for to date. My superficiality syndrome frequently prevents me from having healthy relationships or even exploration.
The most hilarious part about this is that she's seems totally into me. The more she shows interest, the less interested I become, and the more attractive I become to her. It's amazing how this works and how simple and obvious the patterns of behavior are with attraction. If I can just convince myself that I'm not interested in women I'm highly attracted to, I'll obviously have a lot more success. So much easier to be funny and relaxed when there's little to no attraction. It's just a challenge to get myself in that frame of mind, even though I realize how much more effective it would be.
So that's about it. I know I should just be approaching everywhere as much as possible and I'll try to force myself to do that as I get out more. I did approach a couple 9/10s at a concert recently as well. No dice but it was scary as shit, so I'm a little proud of myself for taking the step. Just need to turn it into a habit now and teach my self to enjoy and then probably get addicted to the rush of it.
Please feel free to share thoughts about any of these prospects or game in general.
Thanks y'all!
Now I'm slowly trying to start back up again, and have some new potential women to practice on. I started using Tinder and that opened the door a crack:
Girl 1 -
I met this 26 year old latina actress. very hot. I coaxed her into chatting with me about the business and got her to be an extra in the really cool pilot I'm producing here in LA (a physical 9/10). I think I handled the text game with her well (despite her crappy one word responses). I also edited her acting reel, and did a very slick job which seemed to impress her. She tried getting political with me in one of our exchanges, and I quickly realized we don't have an intellectual connection whatsoever, but I handled that well too (holding my ground but changing the subject and keeping it light).
Then she agreed to meet me for a drink, and flaked out. I got to the bar, waited and waited. She pulled the whole pretending to be confused about the plans bit. So I never contacted her again. Although I thought it might be fun to send her my blog post about the political issue she brought up, where I make fun of her position. But that would probably be way more attention than the airhead deserves.
Girl 2 -
HOT super cute petite Russian girl, 25, who's done some modeling in the past. Probably a 9 for some, but a 10 in my book, just my type. Unlike girl 1, she is highly intelligent, down to earth and funny. I roped her into chatting with me using the subject of meditation as well as fitness and nutrition. She had a lot of fun chatting with me and seemed fairly eager to meet up. So we made plans.
What was kind of hilarious about this was that she's not an LA girl and has a different cultural background. She made it virtually impossible to follow any "gaming" rules. She wanted an old fashioned date; even insisted that I pick her up. I'm like, fuck, okay, doing this the old fashioned way…
We first went to a gluten free bakery to get some treats for later, then had dinner at a very cozy, dim romantic restaurant. Bare in mind this all ended up being in her neighborhood, so I wasn't familiar with anywhere we went. This made it extra challenging, but thankfully the plans worked out smoothly. After dinner we went to see Interstellar. We had fun, laughed together, and she told me some very personal history. Probably a shit test. she talked openly about sex too.
Sadly I didn't close. Wanted to try holding her hand at the movie, but I wasn't getting the right signals, and over all I was probably too nice and beta. I kept thinking frame, frame, frame, but it was a challenge since this was my first date in a long time. With all the added commotion and pressure of taking her out the old fashioned way I had to sort of roll with my regular personality. Not too bad, but I definitely came across as nervous (which she pointed out, but said it was cute - another shit test I'm sure) and over accommodating.
It's going to take some practice to get my frame right. At the end of the night I walked her to the door and went in for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I think she thought I was going in for a real kiss because she gave me the dreaded head turn and I caught her in the neck, giving the night an awkward ending. I was sure I was in the friend-zone category after that point. I still think that might be the case, but she did text me a sticker the next day of a cute cartoon space character in reference to Interstellar. She's been vacationing with her family and we've been chatting just a little here and there.
I think I just might have managed to catch her interest once again by not paying a lot of attention to her, trying to sound a little more cocky and self amused, and then re-engaging with music sharing. She seems to like my taste in things and my philosophical side. The other day I told her I was overwhelmed and needed a good hike and some yoga. she then responded: "Lets do Runyon [canyon] when I get back!" she gets back into town this Sun, and we will probably meet up the following weekend since I work. So I might have one more chance to redeem myself, but if I fuck this one up, it's all over.
Definitely interested in this one, so any advice is welcome. I'm thinking we'll do a hike followed by some outdoor yoga. Then I'll tell her I have a meeting so there's a time constraint and I look important haha (probably go home and nap), but see if she wants to get a drink later that night.
Girl 3 - This woman is from my home state. We met at a big party at my bachelor pad in college. It was the first time I'd attracted a 10. I slept with a couple of 10s later on, but this was the first time I realized I could attract them. She was 19 at the time, and already working as a model. I was sort of dating a 7 who was also at the party, but left when she saw me chatting and dancing with the 10. Couldn't help myself, and this should have been the beginning of my career as a player. She gave me a really tight hug as she was leaving with a huge smile, which shook me up inside.
Unfortunately I was too big of an insecure beta mess from never getting any in high school and it didn't work out. We got together a couple of times with some other friends, and I definitely remember some IOIs. But when I tried to get her to meet me for dinner she got all weird and flakey so I gave up. If only I'd been more studied at that point of my life. We did stay connected on Facebook, but she ultimately disappeared, moving to LA (years before I did), then Hong Kong, and then back to LA.
Fast forward about 10 years; I'm producing this pilot and we're looking for hot model types so I reach out to her, and she happens to be friends with one of the name actors on the shoot. she agreed and even ended up with a speaking role.
She's got a very interesting personality, and I don't know if I mean that in a good way or not. It's hard to tell just how smart she is. She seems to convey more depth than the average bear, but is also weirdly quiet and stoic. But then she'll walk right up, look you dead in the eye and penetrate you with one of the nicest glowing smiles you've ever seen. Had to focus all my energy on using the right body language and not fidgeting like a pussy lol. There's a real elegance about her, just hard to tell how much of it's a facade.
I made sure to play it very cool, and just look busy on set, and I did catch her watching me at one point. I honestly wasn't really planning on gaming her (this was also the day that Girl 1 was on set as an extra so I was sort of trying to game her), but I figured if I happen to spark a little interest some how, it might be fun to entertain the notion of hitting what I missed out on in the past; kind of a little revenge fantasy - but I know if I get too caught up in the idea I'll blow it because that's just what I do. I can also tell she's the type who likes to send mixed signals and appear interested as a way of being friendly or something. It's a weird model thing…
Anyway, we exchanged a couple short messages on Facebook, and I dropped some old blankets off at her place for an animal shelter after she posted about it. I cracked a couple jokes in our FB chat which made her laugh, but she wasn't overly responsive, and I was extremely busy with work and the holidays. Then a couple of days ago I got the inclination to see what happens if I invite her out casually on FB, just to test the waters and see how she reacts (I'd also noticed on FB that she spent new years with her family and there's no evidence she's got a BF). I didn't make it sound like a date or anything, which might have been a mistake, but I thought it might work slightly better and I could make a bigger impression this way. I wrote:
"Hey! happy holidays. hope u had fun in [home state]. Saw some recent pics, looks like you're doing a lot of film work. that's awesome! have to introduce you to some of my friends who are producing and directing things. Sat [creator/star of the pilot] and i are taking [famous actor] out for dinner in venice w his wife and a few others. Fri having martinis w some friends at the [bar we both frequent]. usually run into industry friends (not that i have any others) down that way. Welcome to join either, and i can let you know about future events, table reads etc if u like. take care!"
She responded:
"Hey! Yeah I worked in 8 movies from June to the end of the year! I would love that. I am still back home though. I return on Tuesday. I'd love to get together when I'm back! Hope you had great holidays!"
I waited a full day to respond. In the meantime I started a heavy intellectual discussion on my page which got a lot of attention and she gave it a like, which she never has before. Not that I'm reading into that much, but based on some of her posts I think we actually see eye to eye philosophically, as we're both engaged in various types of activism.
So, after a day of not opening her reply, I responded: "wow 8 films that's outstanding. sounds great travel safe." I kind of wish I hadn't validated her at all and just left it at - "sounds great travel safe", and nothing else, but oh well. I'll improve over time with practice. Now I just have to figure out the right strategy and see if I can pull something off with this strange beauty, who's probably around 29/30 now. Still a knock out. Should be interesting. Going to try my best to hold frame and not let her affect or intimidate me with her hypnotic looks.
Girl 4
This one is a 7 or maybe a strong 6. She's cute, in shape, beautiful eyes, and totally connects with me on an intellectual level. She's kind of a radical anarchist/libertarian chick (also antifeminist which is cool) and we connected through online activism. I tried setting her up with a roommate when she was moving, and we started hanging out.
Some folks on this forum had suggested that I try to hook up with some sixes just to break my 4-year dry spell and oneitis problem. She's probably perfect for this. The problem is that I just can't get into anyone lower than an 8. it's like a mental disorder. I have such a complex about looks I don't think I could even get turned on by someone unless I really think they're "hot". I don't like this about myself because she would be an excellent woman for to date. My superficiality syndrome frequently prevents me from having healthy relationships or even exploration.
The most hilarious part about this is that she's seems totally into me. The more she shows interest, the less interested I become, and the more attractive I become to her. It's amazing how this works and how simple and obvious the patterns of behavior are with attraction. If I can just convince myself that I'm not interested in women I'm highly attracted to, I'll obviously have a lot more success. So much easier to be funny and relaxed when there's little to no attraction. It's just a challenge to get myself in that frame of mind, even though I realize how much more effective it would be.
So that's about it. I know I should just be approaching everywhere as much as possible and I'll try to force myself to do that as I get out more. I did approach a couple 9/10s at a concert recently as well. No dice but it was scary as shit, so I'm a little proud of myself for taking the step. Just need to turn it into a habit now and teach my self to enjoy and then probably get addicted to the rush of it.
Please feel free to share thoughts about any of these prospects or game in general.
Thanks y'all!