I was at an event last night and a chick I slept with a few times a couple of months ago was there. Problem is, I was with my current GF.

She immediately came up to us and asked my GF how long we'd been together. GF replied since February.

Side chick said that we'd been seeing each other since July.

I played it off by saying: "Oh, side chick, you're such a kidder!" and she walked away.

I thought that would be it. About an hour later, while still at the same event, she came up to my GF with her phone in her hand and said: "Have you seen his OKCupid account?"

At that point I just said let's go but crazy side chick followed us out to the parking lot yelling obscenities at us. Then she went on Facebook and put a picture of us as her profile picture and posted an intimate picture of us. Luckily, I erased any incriminating things quickly and since it was a Friday night I don't think many people saw her posts.

My GF is obviously mad at me. I told her that I'd dated side chick last year before GF and I started dating. That my OKC profile is old, etc. She wanted to go through my profile with me but I told her I didn't know my password. I've since purged everything from it in case it comes down to having to go through with it with her.

I don't know how crazy side chick is, but she might reach out to GF and tell her everything.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? The first thing that comes to mind is DENY DENY DENY but if side chick has contacted GF already and shown her evidence, then I don't know.

sure, immediately dump the "GF", bang the side for a while, until you get bored enough of her to go get another side. Rinse, wash, repeat.

Just keep denying and proceed as usual. Your girl already suspected you where playing around, that might be what attracted her to you in the first place even, so from now on, be extra careful. Why would you keep history on OKCupid anyways? Delete anything from before, then delete the profile with her, as damage control.

Accuse her of not trusting you. Place the heat on her. Keep denying your ass off, thinking that there are other women wanting you makes you more attractive to her and will make her fight harder. Knowing that you are looking for other women makes you weaker. (Think of nightclubs, which one would you like to be at, the one with a long line of hot women waiting to get inside, or the one where the bouncers are begging passers by to get in, ANY one who would be dumb enough to actually do?)

But now shes damaged anyways, since she demanded to "check your account" with her. Consider her a side until you get a new main. She cant be trusted and now you know what your life will be.

Choice A: Stop banging the main girl as much for a while(dates and hanging out are fair game though) and start banging side chick(convince side hoe that you love her or some bullshit while the main girl is for some other purpose). While this is going on make sure side hoe does not take pictures period of you two together and deny any kind of posing for profile pictures. Then slowly fade out the side hoe again and seeing the main until you're meeting up at 1-2 times a month for banging only for the side hoe. Main girl will doubt your loyalty enough that she will try to pull you back in, and side hoe will be satisfied.

Choice B: Claim the side hoe is a stalker, and that she's some earlier girlfriend that won't leave you alone. Keep your cool and just keep denying as well as blocking side hoe from your Facebook to make sure she can't post and there is no link between the two of you. I highly doubt side hoe can find your current main period.

In both scenarios I would continue to play the field and look for better prospects. Both girls are liabilities to you now.

Simple. Stop lying and don't tell girls you are seeing that you are exclusive dating.
Why step into an unnecessary restrictive frame when you are bringing your main girls to places where other girls you are banging are hanging out? You are asking for drama and getting caught out.

I always imply when hooking up that I might be seeing other girls and she can take it or leave it.
There is a quote of 'a man should not have to lie about his actions' or something like that. You are not being congruent and the girls can pick up on it.

Also I would not have left when she came over with an online dating account 'Cool now go away, we are trying to chill'.
Use that girls jealousy as a DHV if anything but to leave is again a complete loss of frame.

I imply (and I nearly always do) I have other girls in any relationship and actively use jealousy to keep things exciting. I tell girls I like them but I don't go in for exclusive. If they don't agree with that - okay but if you stick with me that is the way it goes. It isn't in her face but she knows on some level. Then if stuff like this happens there is no leverage for the other girl. She just looks like a crazy.

Also in my experience the hotter girls know the guys they are with are actively being pursued by other girls.
A girl trying to get your attention/hit on you in front of another girl should be expected as your game gets better.
You lost all the potential power in this scenario (showing your main girl that other girls are crazy about you/showing your side piece you have other options).
Instead you showed your main girl you are not capable of keeping ex's in line and showed your side girl that she has the power over your actions and new relationship.

I would have embarrassed the fuck out of any girl who tried to pull that shit on me.

Quote: (11-08-2014 09:13 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  

I was at an event last night and a chick I slept with a few times a couple of months ago was there. Problem is, I was with my current GF.

She immediately came up to us and asked my GF how long we'd been together. GF replied since February.

Side chick said that we'd been seeing each other since July.

I played it off by saying: "Oh, side chick, you're such a kidder!" and she walked away.

I thought that would be it. About an hour later, while still at the same event, she came up to my GF with her phone in her hand and said: "Have you seen his OKCupid account?"

At that point I just said let's go but crazy side chick followed us out to the parking lot yelling obscenities at us. Then she went on Facebook and put a picture of us as her profile picture and posted an intimate picture of us. Luckily, I erased any incriminating things quickly and since it was a Friday night I don't think many people saw her posts.

My GF is obviously mad at me. I told her that I'd dated side chick last year before GF and I started dating. That my OKC profile is old, etc. She wanted to go through my profile with me but I told her I didn't know my password. I've since purged everything from it in case it comes down to having to go through with it with her.

I don't know how crazy side chick is, but she might reach out to GF and tell her everything.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? The first thing that comes to mind is DENY DENY DENY but if side chick has contacted GF already and shown her evidence, then I don't know.

It would have been a golden opportunity to "double down" and hit on any thirdy party women that might have witnessed this scene.

Look, your GF will not trust you anymore, but may want to. She didn't buy your response re. OKC account being closed and the relationship being last summer with side chick instead of this summer.

Don't fuck with side chick, she'll only get crazier.. don't poke crazy.

BUT, immediately start banging other chicks besides your GF if possible. And as others stated, deny like a mother fucker.
Beware that your shit better be airtight going forward though...

It's doubtful you'll play this right without already having established abundant options.

Side chick's problem? She's not getting fucked by anyone decent right now, you were the perfect insta-witch-hunt when you came in view at the party.

Quote: (11-08-2014 10:39 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Simple. Stop lying and don't tell girls you are seeing that you are exclusive dating.

^
This. If you never agree to exclusivity you won't have to deal with these kinds of situations.

Feeling that you need to offer exclusivity in order to lock a girl down, is, in my opinion, a sign of weak inner game. You should be confident enough in your own value to know that chicks will want to date/fuck you even if they know you're fucking other girls.

Here's the way I see it: my time and my attention are precious gifts. If a chick isn't satisfied with my simply spending time with her and fucking her silly, she can fuck off.

^Exactly my thoughts.

A lot of girls are okay with this, while also getting off on it, IF you have high value. They kind of expect it.

The first time the side chick tries to make conversation, you say quietly to your GF "jilted ex, ignore it". Then you shoulder pull your GF away and don't speak anymore.

Shit, I wish I'd done some of these things you guys have mentioned. I went with referring to her as a stalker. I'm looking into restraining orders, too, but my lawyer buddy told me that I have little to go on.

Damn man.

Should've shut it down right away.

"Crazy ex gf" "She'll make anything up" "She's catfished me before"

Always deny, and next time don't make exclusive man.

Also, why didn't you leave the event after that happened the first time ?

"Let's bounce, this chick is fucking psycho, I don't need or want to deal with drama"

Quote: (11-08-2014 10:39 AM)Atlantic Wrote:  

Simple. Stop lying and don't tell girls you are seeing that you are exclusive dating.
Why step into an unnecessary restrictive frame when you are bringing your main girls to places where other girls you are banging are hanging out? You are asking for drama and getting caught out.

I always imply when hooking up that I might be seeing other girls and she can take it or leave it.
There is a quote of 'a man should not have to lie about his actions' or something like that. You are not being congruent and the girls can pick up on it.

Also I would not have left when she came over with an online dating account 'Cool now go away, we are trying to chill'.
Use that girls jealousy as a DHV if anything but to leave is again a complete loss of frame.

I imply (and I nearly always do) I have other girls in any relationship and actively use jealousy to keep things exciting. I tell girls I like them but I don't go in for exclusive. If they don't agree with that - okay but if you stick with me that is the way it goes. It isn't in her face but she knows on some level. Then if stuff like this happens there is no leverage for the other girl. She just looks like a crazy.

Agreed don't lie, let chicks know what your about...

In the past, I used to hangout with multiple women who I fooled around with. When are wayyyyyyy better calibrators than men, if you are that awesome guy that she's fascinated by she will ADAPT. (Sadly this same reason is why chicks tend to be capable of handling abusive relationships which I think is INSANE!!!!)

Ran into this a couple days ago when one of my girlfriend's friends sent her a pic of my tinder profile. Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof, make outrageous counter-accusations, and when all else fails, discredit the opposition. Fucked her after and she asked if I was her favorite girl mid-coitus. I think she gets off on it. I deleted the account because I wasn't using it anyway and just got a few new prospects in the pipeline.

Quote: (11-09-2014 09:07 PM)Sleazy Wrote:  

... she asked if I was her favorite girl mid-coitus...

And you said "You are my favorite right now"?

I'm still don't get the "deny deny deny" principle. You were pretty much caught, and the trust has been lost. Why not man up and confess and let her decide what she wants to do, since the relationship won't be the same for a long while.

Denying it just makes you look like confess when she knows deep down you were doing dirty work.

Try being honest. Tell the "girlfriend" that previously you were seeing other girls, more than one actually, including the crazy one. Tell her you ultimately cut off the crazy girl because you liked her (your girlfriend) better. Tell her you can't control what the crazy girl does or says, that's life. That's it. Simple, and essentially it is the truth.

I've dealt with this before. I had a previous girl show up at my place unannounced when a new one was there. I didn't let her in. I went with the truth as above. I really had to think fast on that one.