Quote: (10-03-2014 07:04 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:
Quote: (10-03-2014 06:42 PM)reco2100 Wrote:
Flying back from San Francisco but will be in Tampa next week meeting up with an 18yo, and a 23 Yo...want to get together and chat?
I believe El Mech is asking you to give a little context for your assertion that your working on your "good attitude" will result in better outcomes to overcome issues of aging. Your in your early 50s, and you feel better than you were in your mid-20s. Ok.. You just meditate and think positive thoughts and eat well and exercise or what do you do?
O.k.. you are going to meet up with some young girls in the coming days, and can you provide a little more context how guys are supposed to get from point A to point B in supposedly getting results that you are suggesting to be possible.. such as being able to pick up young girls... in the context of your own experiences.
It doesn't really help us to understand how you arrived at your outcomes if you don't provide some more details.
Well I am not so sure that good attitude is the secret, by itself. There is a lot that goes into good attitude. And I do not have all the answers. All I can tell you is what works for me. Wow this is going to take a lot of words. lol When I was younger I was very unhappy in my life. I mean I was doing a lot things. I had a successful career and started earning money at an early age. I was able to go on different adventures and do fun things, very busy life. But I was not happy.
But I was looking for something better always questioning. If there is one characteristic that I have. It is the ability to question and look at different ways to do things. I was very unsuccessful with women. I was as blue pill as they come. I lived an adventurous prosperous life on the outside and was a complete pussy in my personal relationships and especially with women. I probably married the wrong woman and stayed in the marriage for a long time. The lack of this realization was behind everything I was doing. For a long time. While all this is going on I was not facing up to it. It was just in the background being suppressed. So you can be doing what looks like all the right things on the surface and still not be happy. If I had to guess this led to a general malaise in my life. That led to multiple chronic but not acute health issues. Severe lower back pain that I thought came from a water ski injury. Chronic headaches. Joint pain. Lack of energy.
I read a lot and I have always looked for new ideas. I came across a book called "Healing Back Pain" by Dr. Sarnow. I highly recommend it. What I learned was that my back pain was caused by "tension" in my life (not the realization above that was too deep and would come later) but other issues such as. Troubles at work, dissatisfaction with friends and family etc. When I learned this the back pain went away. Just like magic. I threw away all the doctors medications and back exercises did not need them anymore. Occasionally it comes back but I just look inside and determine what is creating the tension and the physical problems will subside. Hope this helps. Suffering mind leads to suffering body. I have told this to other people and most reject it without thinking about it. They would rather live with the pain. Hang onto it and not make any changes.
That leads me to another realization. I forced myself to be honest about what was wrong and deal with that directly regardless of where that would take me. That is what eventually led me to this site. The Buddha said "the greatest discovery is yourself". I highly recommend his work. All the stuff on this site is just men on a journey of self discovery. Call it inner game, self improvement. Christian McQueen talked about this on one of his podcasts, there are many successful blue pill men out there. And self improvement is a lot more than dress well, good job, exercise and diet, that is the starting point.
I still was very disatified with my social life and women, but that is a much deeper problem. I kept reading there was no one I could talk with about it. I flirted with women in my weak ass way. Had a couple of flings but nothing serious or long term. But not really what I wanted. I also had been meditating off and on for a few years and I got into it more deeply. This is not a small thing.
Meditation is a deeply massively beneficial activity. Probably the most important thing I do. A lot of people think that it is just a way to relieve stress and relaxation. But it is so much more than that. It is the portal to everything into your life. It is the key to true understanding and enlightenment. Good health and feeling happy are only side benefits. But this can be a long a slow process. At least it has been for me. And it is far from over.
I learned about real nutrition. Not the bullshit of popular culture. I was an early adopter of using protein and fats as a key dietary route to good health back in 1997. And how damaging carbs are to every part of your body. Two good books were "Protein Power Plan" and more recently "The Grain Brain" By Dr. Perlmutter, which talks about the effect of carbs on brain health development and just feeling good. I highly recommend this book.
Along the way I found another amazing book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Glover. It talks about many of the concepts from the blue pill to the red pill perspective. But he put it in to a very organized system. Essentially a plan on how to get your life back. And I worked on this for a couple of years. This was the greatest help in getting me started on getting my life back in my marriage. I learned how to assert myself in my marriage and to take charge again. I also learned to lean into the pain in our lives. This took a few years. I was also coming to the realization that I had made a big mistake marrying many years earlier. Along the way I read "Shakelton's Way", a great guide to attitude in times of severe stress and difficulty. And "Way Of The Superior Man" which has been talked about in the manosphere extensively.
The question still comes up on why we do these crazy self destructive things and where they come from. I discovered that much of this comes from some pretty deep stuff. But usually the root that is shame. Check out this Ted Talk by Dr. Brene Brown she explains it very well.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_...anguage=en
Shame is the root of many of these problems that all of us deal with. If you can conquer your shame. I believe you are on your way. Look at what she says about courage.
This is a second one since she was one of the most published Ted Talks ever. They had her back for another one. I know, i know, she is a woman. But show me someone else researching this. In particular check out 15:33 in the second video and see what she says about men. Is that the truth? That's all I ask.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_lis...anguage=en
This helped me a lot. But the question is how do you get to this shame and how do you deal with it? How do you kill it, fix it? That led to the next book. "The Power Of Now", many have talked about this but how many have really applied the principles in there? I have. Or at least I am trying. Meditation helps, but the introspection is just as important. The ability to observe ourselves and
not judge is a supremely important and at the same time eternally rejected by most people I have talked to about it. But I am living proof it works. He talks about attachment and how this causes suffering in the mind which causes suffering in the body. The buddah said that "attachment is the root of all suffering". Let go of that attachment and suffering will subside. This is an eternal process.
I am far from perfect and have much to work on but I am happier and I believe these are some of the reasons why. There were lots of other books. And other lessons but this gives you a brief idea of my very long journey. There is no quick answer this is a process that can take a lifetime. I am not sure not there yet. I am tired now. I was in airports and planes yesterday for 14 hours. Gonna sleep a little now. And the lawn needs mowing. What about you guys what has worked for you?