I'd heard of this book occasionally as one of the pre-internet classics on picking up women, and was curious enough to pick up a copy. It was written in the late 80s, and although has been updated a couple of times since, it's still a book from an older era. Is it still useful and relevant in 2014? I think so – I learned more than a few things, but even more than that, it was refreshing to read a different attitude and a different voice from what is usually found in manosphere circles.
The author was divorced in the 1980s in his mid-30s, and went on to have relationships with a number of young women up until at least his mid-50s. (A postscript in the edition I have indicates that he eventually married a 19-year old when he was 53). There is no doubt that this guy is real and walked the walk as well as talking the talk. He shares deeply his personal experiences, the times he felt deep love and connection with his lovers, as well as his heartbreak.
I was impressed by the way he talked frankly about sex and lust, as well as the genuine empathy and love for women which has made him a successful ladies' man. At times in the modern manosphere, I feel this balance is lost, and men try too hard not to be vulnerable, thus losing touch with some of the deepest experiences that are possible. R. Don Steele's no-nonsense, at times vulgar prose shows that an old-school, masculine and indeed womanising American can still pay his respects to the wonder of the feminine and the richness of love.
Because R. Don Steele is, in the end, a romantic, he does not advise on how to score one night stands, but aims at “affairs”, rich experiences which may last from weeks to years. The book gives practical advice on how to achieve this, going from sorting out your style and appearance, to meeting women, talking to them, dating them, and getting them into bed, all with the assumption that the target women are aged at least 15-20 years younger.
He goes into great detail on the difference between women of various ages, and shows a brilliant understanding of women's minds. The best salesmen say you need to get into the mind of your customers and understand their perspective, and I think he succeeds in that. He reminds the reader of the turmoil and rapid pace of change of a 20 year old woman's life, and then shows exactly how an older, mature man can offer her something valuable.
I haven't focused on some of the concrete tips, for dressing, style, what to say and what not to say, which are given in the book. Some of the tips are excellent, some of them dated. It should be remembered that at that time there were no PUA videos on YouTube, no ebooks giving dating tips, no forums. It was all just trial and error, learning from experience, and word of mouth. So with that in mind there are some things I agree with and some that I don't. He's not big on what we would call daygame, preferring to meet women from warm approaches at social gatherings and at work. That last one goes against most current advice, and perhaps would not be advisable in the contemporary climate. A 45 year-old man having an affair with a 19 year-old at his company, or even worse, trying to, might not be a good idea.
What I got out of this book was his slow-burning approach, preferring to unhurriedly advance his seductions, like a man with options, and his desire to have a genuine connection with women. This book aims to steer older men away from the trap of being seen as a horny old creep, by improving yourself, going under the radar, and instead of trying to compete with young men on their own terms, giving women something they have not experienced before - the affection, stability and sexual prowess of a mature, alpha male.
I would recommend this book for any man who wants to date women considerably younger than himself. Some things have changed since the book was written, but overall the approach and much of the specific advice remains sound.
I'm not affiliated with the author in any way.
The author was divorced in the 1980s in his mid-30s, and went on to have relationships with a number of young women up until at least his mid-50s. (A postscript in the edition I have indicates that he eventually married a 19-year old when he was 53). There is no doubt that this guy is real and walked the walk as well as talking the talk. He shares deeply his personal experiences, the times he felt deep love and connection with his lovers, as well as his heartbreak.
I was impressed by the way he talked frankly about sex and lust, as well as the genuine empathy and love for women which has made him a successful ladies' man. At times in the modern manosphere, I feel this balance is lost, and men try too hard not to be vulnerable, thus losing touch with some of the deepest experiences that are possible. R. Don Steele's no-nonsense, at times vulgar prose shows that an old-school, masculine and indeed womanising American can still pay his respects to the wonder of the feminine and the richness of love.
Because R. Don Steele is, in the end, a romantic, he does not advise on how to score one night stands, but aims at “affairs”, rich experiences which may last from weeks to years. The book gives practical advice on how to achieve this, going from sorting out your style and appearance, to meeting women, talking to them, dating them, and getting them into bed, all with the assumption that the target women are aged at least 15-20 years younger.
He goes into great detail on the difference between women of various ages, and shows a brilliant understanding of women's minds. The best salesmen say you need to get into the mind of your customers and understand their perspective, and I think he succeeds in that. He reminds the reader of the turmoil and rapid pace of change of a 20 year old woman's life, and then shows exactly how an older, mature man can offer her something valuable.
I haven't focused on some of the concrete tips, for dressing, style, what to say and what not to say, which are given in the book. Some of the tips are excellent, some of them dated. It should be remembered that at that time there were no PUA videos on YouTube, no ebooks giving dating tips, no forums. It was all just trial and error, learning from experience, and word of mouth. So with that in mind there are some things I agree with and some that I don't. He's not big on what we would call daygame, preferring to meet women from warm approaches at social gatherings and at work. That last one goes against most current advice, and perhaps would not be advisable in the contemporary climate. A 45 year-old man having an affair with a 19 year-old at his company, or even worse, trying to, might not be a good idea.
What I got out of this book was his slow-burning approach, preferring to unhurriedly advance his seductions, like a man with options, and his desire to have a genuine connection with women. This book aims to steer older men away from the trap of being seen as a horny old creep, by improving yourself, going under the radar, and instead of trying to compete with young men on their own terms, giving women something they have not experienced before - the affection, stability and sexual prowess of a mature, alpha male.
I would recommend this book for any man who wants to date women considerably younger than himself. Some things have changed since the book was written, but overall the approach and much of the specific advice remains sound.
I'm not affiliated with the author in any way.
Dr Johnson rumbles with the RawGod. And lives to regret it.
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