5 Reasons Dads Shouldn’t Work Outside the Home

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The research is conclusive: the only way to guarantee a happy and successful family is for dads to stay home with their children. Yet, for some reason, many men continue to remain in the workforce, even after fatherhood, honestly believing it to be in the best interest of their household. One has to wonder if these misguided individuals read anything online at all. In report after report, poll after poll, no matter how few people questioned or how unscientific the study, the implications are the same: stay-at-home dads rule and working dads drool.

1. Dads who do the dishes raise the best kids. While it is true that any dad can do dishes, most of them don’t. According to a 2013 survey of a whole lot of people by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the majority of dudes in this country are kind of slackers. Stay-at-home dads, however, must do dishes. It’s in the job description. This is important because, according to a highly reported University of British Columbia study (that hasn’t actually been published yet), a strong indicator of a girl’s ambition is how active her father is in household chores. The study found that it is one thing for men to talk the talk of gender equality, it’s quite another to diaper the diaper, launder the laundry, and vacuum the floor. Stay-at-home dads perform all these chores and then some. Though it must be said that, according to informal discussions at a local dad group, “not, like, every day,” because that would be “crazy talk, man.”

2. Stay-at-home dads create future TED Talkers. It cannot be denied that moms are integral in their child’s language development, but recent research, written about by Paul Raeburn in his book Do Fathers Matter? What Science Is Telling Us About the Parent We’ve Overlooked, has come to the conclusion that dads are, wait for it… more important. It is suggested that when fathers converse with their children “they use a broader vocabulary [than mothers], and their children learn new words and concepts as a result.” It could be said that this effect is enhanced with stay-at-home dads, who can go for long stretches of time with little to no adult interaction, but still need someone to talk to. Stay-at-home dads often forget that their kids aren’t intimately familiar with the Star Wars universe, but they’re not surprised when, after many conversations about the subject, one of their little tykes opines that Jar Jar Binks was a complete abomination.

3. Stay-at-home dads keep children the safest. Upon first reading, this may seem counter-intuitive, but Mariana Brussoni, an assistant professor in the Dept. of Pediatrics at the University of British Columbia, makes a compelling argument. Fathers, in general, are more likely than mothers to engage in rough and tumble play with their kids. Thus, the assumption may be that dads are more willing to allow bodily injury to befall their children, or, at least, that they are more willing than moms to take that chance. This is not the case. According to Ms. Brussoni, “children who have the opportunity to engage with risks in a secure setting with minimal hazards and appropriate supervision learn lessons that will serve them in good stead when they encounter risks in the ‘real’ world.” Basically, even though it looks to the casual observer like dads are just goofing off and letting their kids perform dumb and dangerous feats of idiocy, they are actually instilling in their children the ability to properly evaluate the limits of adventurous and enterprising behavior. Stay-at-home dads can teach PhD-level courses in playing perilously close to the edge, without going over (or, in any case, how to fall without breaking anything that won’t heal).

4. Stay-at-home dads are better in bed. It all starts with a happy marriage and a healthy sex life. In a poll by Time Money, where I have to assume the guys made sure their wives were not looking at their answers, 44% of men who earn more than their spouses said they have “hot” or “very good” sex. This number jumps to 56% when the ladies brought home more of that bacon. It is thought that the stress of office life makes it difficult for some men to perform. Not a problem for stay-at-home dads. Another theory might be that men are turned on by powerful women who make more money than they do. Nowhere is the reverse-gender pay differential greater than between a working wife and her stay-at-home husband. I do not have the specific data on how “hot” the sex is for stay-at-home dads, but the numbers are pretty easy to extrapolate. My assumption would be that 68% (with a standard deviation of 1%) of stay-at-home dads are satisfied by the temperature of what’s going on in the boudoir.

"Another theory might be that men are turned on by powerful women who make more money than they do."

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5. Involved fathers have smaller testicles (which makes their penises look bigger). It’s true. A study by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science (PNAS for, ah, short), found that involved dads have more modest nads than their deadbeat counterparts. This is a good thing. Sack size has nothing to do with sperm count or testosterone levels, just that the berries are a bit smaller in relation to the stick. Being a stay-at-home dad won’t make your penis bigger, but it may make it look bigger. This is not the best reason to become a full time parent, but worse things could happen. And, admittedly, sometimes they do. One of the most agonizing day-to-day experiences of every stay-at-home dad is the constant barrage of tiny elbows, knees, and head-butts to your balls. Trust me, you will want your testes as small and hidden as possible.

This whole article felt less like praise for stay-at-home fathers, and more like a back-handed series of jabs at fathers who take the traditional route and work their asses off to their provide for their families.

I'm starting to think that feminists' long term goal is basically the 50's but with the genders swapped.

Oh god my wife makes 80k a year can't contain boner.

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Involved fathers have smaller testicles (which makes their penises look bigger).

Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.

This must be the most delusional and 'detached from reality' article I have ever read. This is what Bennet has to say to the author...

Number 2 is all the reason I need to work for minimum wage as a janitor instead of staying home.

Quote: (07-01-2014 05:12 PM)polar Wrote:  

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Involved fathers have smaller testicles (which makes their penises look bigger).

Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.

Feminine girls generally have small hands, making my penis appear massive.

"The research is conclusive"
??? what? where?

You know what, let's flip the script here.

If I was a really manipulative asshole, I could really enjoy being a stay-at-home dad. I'd make sure to knock up the richest bitch I could find and while she's off work another 12 hour shift, I'm hanging out in the garage doing squats and listening to Led Zeppelin. At some point the guys come over and we smoke a blunt and watch Big Lebowski for the 60th time, and then I'm off to pick up the kids from school. Take them to an arcade and play videogames with them, then ice cream afterwards.

Take em home where the nanny is finishing up cleaning and has dinner all prepped out, all I have to do is heat it up. Kids are doing homework and I've still got a few hours of freedom until the bitch comes home.

Bitch comes home and thank god she's too tired and cranky to fuck, her neck fat is starting to get really disgusting to look at. She doesn't want to talk tonight so I sleep in the guest house and get a beautiful 8 hours of sleep. By the time I wake up she's already gone and the kids have taken the bus to school, so I hit the local community college and run approaches on 19 year olds.

If your game is tight, this isn't even that outlandish of a scenario. Rubirosa was far worse.

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Another theory might be that men are turned on by powerful women who make more money than they do.

Great GIF Renzy!

I love that line "One has to wonder if these misguided individuals read anything online at all."
As we all know, everything online is right...,
At least the author's twitter handle is on point: https://twitter.com/amateuridiot

I was convinced this was another troll job until I read his updates (yes, I clicked).

I am actually designing my life so that I can work from home/very close to home and homeschool my future kids. That doesn't mean it's blue pill though. It's because, having worked for more than a decade in public education in three countries, I realise what a complete train wreck public education is and don't want to let my kids (when I have them) anywhere near it. I also want to do it because someone will need to teach them English.

Starve the beast (liberal establishment, a.k.a. The Cathedral) of its future foot soldiers.

Quote: (07-01-2014 07:30 PM)Feisbook Control Wrote:  

I am actually designing my life so that I can work from home/very close to home and homeschool my future kids. That doesn't mean it's blue pill though. It's because, having worked for more than a decade in public education in three countries, I realise what a complete train wreck public education is and don't want to let my kids (when I have them) anywhere near it. I also want to do it because someone will need to teach them English.

Starve the beast (liberal establishment, a.k.a. The Cathedral) of its future foot soldiers.

Amen.

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4. Stay-at-home dads are better in bed. It all starts with a happy marriage and a healthy sex life. In a poll by Time Money, where I have to assume the guys made sure their wives were not looking at their answers, 44% of men who earn more than their spouses said they have “hot” or “very good” sex. This number jumps to 56% when the ladies brought home more of that bacon. It is thought that the stress of office life makes it difficult for some men to perform. Not a problem for stay-at-home dads. Another theory might be that men are turned on by powerful women who make more money than they do. Nowhere is the reverse-gender pay differential greater than between a working wife and her stay-at-home husband. I do not have the specific data on how “hot” the sex is for stay-at-home dads, but the numbers are pretty easy to extrapolate. My assumption would be that 68% (with a standard deviation of 1%) of stay-at-home dads are satisfied by the temperature of what’s going on in the boudoir.

Upon viewing this through a red pill lens, this study may be true...why? because it doesn't say WHO the higher earning wife is having her hot sex with. Any independent career woman that can bang other men outside of the home with the confidence that she has power over the male taking care of her children at home is living a virtual Danielle Steele Novel. Their life is a romance novel/romantic comedy...of course their pussies would be wet all of the time.

Really why would any man want to sign up to that. "Your testicles will get smaller so your penis will look bigger". I mean c'mon, they literally want you to become with clown boy to compliment their "empowerment". Just makes me depressed thinking about it.

A lot of studies show the more tha man does around the house the less happy she is.

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"Another theory might be that men are turned on by powerful women who make more money than they do."

Sure, just like we are really turned on by fat, sloppy and sassy women. Being attracted to fit, feminine women is just a social construct.

That was a painful read.

Very painful just to imagine living a life like that and having to ask your wife if you can take 200 bucks out of her bank account.

Might aswell hang myself by the balls.

OK, fuck that article.

I need some data from dads. Take this anonymous survey for me.

http://surveynuts.com/surveys/take?id=11...343993FDRP

This has gotta be satire............







Right?

If a woman makes all the money in a relationship, and you are not a pimp, your relationship will end.

What's ironic is that "at home dad" is probably the best option...if you work for yourself, own your own business, or work on the internet.

1. Make your own schedule, so you can work when the kids are at school
2. Live wherever you want (good neighborhood, schools, community)
3. Buy a house - have your own custom office. Standing desk, speaker system, coffee machine. No commute.
4. Bang your wife during the day while the kids are at school
5. No boss to send you to other locations for stupid work assignments

List goes on.

Quote: (11-11-2016 06:21 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  

If a woman makes all the money in a relationship, and you are not a pimp, your relationship will end.

Truer words were never spoken. Despite all the feminist brainwashing, women do not want to be breadwinners. If a woman ends up making more than her husband, it's only a matter of time before she starts majorly disrespecting him. The sex will become nonexistent. In her need for an alpha in her life, she'll likely turn to fucking her superior at work.

You know, it's funny -- ask a woman about the worst relationship she was ever in, and without fail, she'll say something along the lines of:

"Oh, he was so terrible! He was lazy, he hardy ever worked, I had to pay for everything, he took me for granted, etc."

So, in other words, a woman's WORST dating nightmare resembles practically every relationship a man ever finds himself in.