This idea of the deathbed conversion is just an extreme version of the general fetish of what one might call the "is that all there is?" moment.
An image that seems to be worshiped by a great many men is that of a man at the end (or sometimes in the midst) of an arc of a complex and successful enterprise suddenly stopping dead in his tracks and asking himself, "Is this really all there is? Is it / was it all really worth it"?
An example might be an athlete who has just won yet another championship ring; a businessman who has worked half his life to build a company and amass a fortune; a player who has devoted a good portion of his time to enjoying "empty" sex with a variety of desirable females.
At some moment, perhaps in the back of a limo or in his bedroom after yet another slut has left, he is supposed to suddenly be seized with this feeling -- the sacred "is this all there is" realization. It is almost universally taken to be the expression of some profound insight about life, a time in which, if only for an instant, the Truth stands revealed.
It is nothing of the sort. It is a moment of idiocy, weakness, thoughtlessness and ingratitude -- nothing more, nothing less. And it means nothing -- less than nothing.
An image that seems to be worshiped by a great many men is that of a man at the end (or sometimes in the midst) of an arc of a complex and successful enterprise suddenly stopping dead in his tracks and asking himself, "Is this really all there is? Is it / was it all really worth it"?
An example might be an athlete who has just won yet another championship ring; a businessman who has worked half his life to build a company and amass a fortune; a player who has devoted a good portion of his time to enjoying "empty" sex with a variety of desirable females.
At some moment, perhaps in the back of a limo or in his bedroom after yet another slut has left, he is supposed to suddenly be seized with this feeling -- the sacred "is this all there is" realization. It is almost universally taken to be the expression of some profound insight about life, a time in which, if only for an instant, the Truth stands revealed.
It is nothing of the sort. It is a moment of idiocy, weakness, thoughtlessness and ingratitude -- nothing more, nothing less. And it means nothing -- less than nothing.
same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...