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I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

I'm 32 and have never had a girlfriend.

Is that weird?

Is anyone else on the forum the same way - or know anyone the same way?

I don't think I have ever met anyone in my situation.

I am not complaining.

I think it is quite funny - since I find women annoying as shit. And would rather be 'weird' than spend my evenings watching DVD box sets and my weekends buying furniture from Ikea.

It is not just women. In fact I find most people annoying. And definitely prefer my own space to having to entertain somebody all day long.

Still - it may be a sign that I am even more unusual than I already thought I was. lol

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Moma - 04-15-2014

do you have female friends?

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

Yeah - I do. Friend of a friends - but one of them is a funny chick. And chicks I get on okay with at work.

But none of them is a close friend.

I find myself making a good impression on my best friend's various girlfriends. Since I am very funny and cool around my best friend. Since he 'gets' all my jokes and so on.

Not sure where you are going with the question though. lol

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - DetlefMourning - 04-15-2014

Do you want a girlfriend?

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

No.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

I am not posting because I want a girlfriend - or am worried about not having one.

I just think it is quite an interesting fact about me. And I am curious as to how common it is.

Sorry - I think this thread is sinking already! :-)

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Faust - 04-15-2014

What's the longest amount of time you've been in a relationship with a woman, even if that just meant going to her place and sleeping with her every other weekend?

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Moma - 04-15-2014

Quote: (04-15-2014 02:00 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Yeah - I do. Friend of a friends - but one of them is a funny chick. And chicks I get on okay with at work.

But none of them is a close friend.

I find myself making a good impression on my best friend's various girlfriends. Since I am very funny and cool around my best friend. Since he 'gets' all my jokes and so on.

Not sure where you are going with the question though. lol

I just want to know your extent. Do you have Friends With Benefit or do you just pick of your lizards from pubs etc?

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Christian McQueen - 04-15-2014

"I think it is quite funny - since I find women annoying as shit. And would rather be 'weird' than spend my evenings watching DVD box sets and my weekends buying furniture from Ikea.

It is not just women. In fact I find most people annoying. And definitely prefer my own space to having to entertain somebody all day long."

^^^^^^^^^^^^

There's lots of girls who don't want to watch DVDs and shop at Ikea. I have some great memories of hitting the town with a pretty girlfriend on my arm. No reason to paint yourself into a corner with limited beliefs.

If you think that you have to entertain her, then your mindset is off and should be flipped. She's there for your entertainment.

I won't go on and on, because from experience, I've noticed you make posts with no intention to change, but maybe someone else will benefit.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - LeightonBlackstock - 04-15-2014

One of the curses about being 'red-pill' is I feel as though no one is good enough for that position anymore. Every time I walk around with a nice girl I want to ditch her for one of the other ones.

I look back at two of the girls I burnt it off with in Korea and think "Holy fuck, am I gay or something?!". Same thing happened with Taipei, I really should have made one of them my girlfriend looking back.

A poisoned chalice, you could say?

Though to elaborate and contradict myself, previously I was very much: "I must get notches. I must be alpha. I must validate myself". Nowadays I'm more open to the idea of ending my two year 'lack of girlfriend' spell. Recently I've felt like I've got over a big 'hump' and I can run on 'auto-pilot' here and there.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Teedub - 04-15-2014

I haven't either. I've had 'flings' but never a properly serious relationship.

Part of my thinks I'm missing out on some of the romantic companionship, whilst the other part is perfectly happy with short term things.

Sleeping in a bed with another person isn't enjoyable to me, neither is sharing my living space.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Valhalla - 04-15-2014

Your post is full of male hamstring op.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

Maybe I have spoken about this before.

It is to do with being an introvert. No matter how much fun I have around people - I can't wait for them to leave. So I can relax and get on with other shit.

I have done the FWB thing. More the case of the chick wanting (I suspect) to be my girlfriend - and me slipping away from that. So maybe not quite FWB.

It is interesting to me. Since the older I get the stronger the desire hits me to be alone forever. There are a lot of couples where I work. So I get a reminder every lunch time of what being trapped in domestic hell looks like.

I could buy into the idealism of romantic love - when I was young, at uni surrounded by hot chicks and blue pill myself. But as I get older - I just want to sit in my cave and be left alone.

lol

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - bacon - 04-15-2014

Cardguy dont you worry you will never find your soul mate? lol

I think you should give it a try just for the sake of knowing what its like. Then if you realize after you have tried it that it is not what you want continue on your life doing as you have always done. Just dont move in with her.

For me the biggest plus of getting a girlfriend is assuming shes on a reliable birth control or you have had a vasectomy condom use is not a concern. Raw dogging is amazing.

Edit: Ive been reading the dissention blog you link to often and his many posts on escorts, ideas of relationships are very thought provoking. I think between ons,fuck buddies and escorts more men will be like you in living their whole life without getting a girlfriend. I think this trend will become much more common so you might not be so different afterall.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

@Valhalla - nope not male hamster. If you imagine every guy wants a girlfriend more than anything else in the world - then I think that is quite a beta mindset to be honest.

No hate intended! :-)

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - KorbenDallas - 04-15-2014

It's interesting to me how Christian and I are different personality wise, but have the same attitude.

Btw McQueen, I also think women are inferior. Not in a bad way, just in terms of my experience with them, on every objective measure women are less equal than men.


Cardguy, I'm very similar arto you in terms of placing a high priority on physical beauty, but I think your missing out. Girlfriends can be great. You don't have to do it the way everyone else does. She won't find out if you cheat or likely care all too much if she likes you.

I like the protective aspect of having a girlfriend who takes comfort in your strength.

Cardguy, try and get a cute eastern bloc girlfriend for a while and see if you like it. This forum is kind of anti-girlfriend, but I don't really understand why. One of the nice things about modernity is relationships can be easily ended so you don't have to worry about marriage or responsibilities to get the sex, companionship, and pleasure having a girl dote on you provides.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

@bacon - to be honest. Having a girlfriend would be more appealing if there were better advertisements for it. But everywhere I look - I just seen mundane drudgery.

Yeah - I know it is different for those of you dating supermodels, who spend all evening discussing the work of W.V.O Quine before retiring to bed so she can give you a 2 hour long blowjob.

But out here in the real world - I see a different story. If you follow pop culture, the media or just look around you at you local supermarket - it is very easy to form negative feelings towards the whole concept of relationships.

Anyway - I shouldn't have posted on this subject. Since I pretty much have a medical problem. My dislike of being around people ALL the time is the strongest feeling I have.

If a millionaire supermodel wanted to marry me - I would say no.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - heavy - 04-15-2014

If you're totally happy not ever having that type of relationship it's fine.

I'm the same way at least right now, but I was married before. And mine stems from discontent with my job and place in life right now. I'm afraid a having a girlfriend will kill my motivation to improve/change my life.

Not to get all psychobabble but mine also probably stems from mommy/daddy stuff. I was the middle child way more emotionally removed from parents than all my other 5 siblings.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

@KorbenDallas - Sorry but you lost me a little bit there. What is this idea of a chick taking protective comfort in my strength? It reminds me of those people who need a 'significant other' to moan to and give them strength.

This is the 21st century - I haven't being out all day clubbing mammoths for dinner. I have been sat in an office pushing paper and reading books. Why the fuck do I need a chick to give me sympathy and strength - when my life couldn't be any easier?

That is another aspect of the relationship game I could never understand.

And as any serious reader will understand - there is literally no better companion than a good book and some great music. Fuck the bitches getting in the way of that.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - tylerdurden1993 - 04-15-2014

I'm 20 and never had a "girlfriend".

I don't know if I even want one because even though my standards for girls I have sex with is relatively low. My standards for a girl I'd get in to a LTR with is pretty high as you have to
a) be able to look at yourself in the mirror and respect yourself that she's "worthy" enough to gain your commitment
b) you have to go out in public and basically be proud to show her off in public and to your family. It must be gutwrenching to go out in public with a girl knowing you could do better.

Howver I am not against getting into a LTR with a girl in the right circumstances, but she better be something special. And i'll also have my checklist out making sure she's up to the job before I get into a LTR.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - OMYG - 04-15-2014

Well as of now I have a girlfriend and I certainly don't feel the need to entertain her, it is the other way around.

And I completely understand you when you bring up the introversion because I am one myself and I need my space. That is why I only limit seeing my girl once or twice a week and I don't think I can make it a whole day with her let's say from dusk to dawn because I do get overwhelmed and need to recharge.

But I believe a man should be steering the relationship and you certainly don't have to spend weekend nights watching dvd's or going to ikea, because you decide what you guys are doing. And just in case anyone is watching dvd's with their girls or going to ikea just to please her or when it's not at your will, you have already lost.

I believe a relationship is about power, and being dominant. Not really about "obeying her" or setting routines and becoming complacent just because she provides sex.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Christian McQueen - 04-15-2014

"And as any serious reader will understand - there is literally no better companion than a good book and some great music. Fuck the bitches getting in the way of that."

[Image: laugh7.gif]

Who said you have to be around your girlfriend 24/7?

My best LTRs were ones where we saw each other around 3x a week and that was after months of getting to know her, to see if she would add to my life, instead of take away.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - cardguy - 04-15-2014

Fair dues - that is a good way of looking at things, McQueen.

One of my favourite writers is Bryan Magee. He has written some excellent introductory books on philosophy.

The situation he got to in life was dating an artist chick. Who he only saw on weekends and during holidays.

That always seemed cool. But to be honest - I don't find chicks fun to hang around with.

When I see some cool guys together - I can picture the fun shit they get up to. But when I see a chick and a guy in a restaurant - I never pick up a vibe other than how fucking dull the chick is.

Maybe I'm projecting. Or maybe you guys are lying about how much 'fun' your chicks are...

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - Baldwin81 - 04-15-2014

We're roughly the same age. Based on what you wrote above, we have similar levels of introversion.

By 26-27 I learned enough game where I could get laid with some (some) consistency. With no desire to get married I rationalized my only two "proper" LTRs (one was a live-in) as something that I needed to experience. I experienced the following:

1. Beta backsliding: This is the unforgivable sin to the western woman. I'm not sure if there's a way to remedy beta-backsliding in today's society if one is genuinely not trying to cheat.

2. Pregnancy scares: A whole different level of mind-fuck when she lives with you.

3. The heightened marriage pressure as the relationship enters its third and final act.

3. Restrictions on time for creative pursuits: As a fellow introvert this I'm sure this will resonate. It is what it is, but the time restrictions were corrosive to my soul.

4. The con that, "by living together we'll save money": As G Manifesto would say, "Do me a favor..."

The only positives are that I learned a lot about women, didn't get anyone pregnant, and that it was fun for the first 3-6 months. The positives are likely more than counter balanced by the loss of some prime years when I could've built myself into a better man. Live and learn.

To conclude, the one pervading thought I had throughout both relationships was that I was in a situation that worked well when dollar was backed by gold and social conventions were different. Nowadays it seems that a monogamous LTR is only good for those too ugly/old/fat to do any better.

TL;DR - You ain't missin' much.

I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird? - KorbenDallas - 04-15-2014

You misunderstood me. Your not getting strength from her.
She's comforted by being with you.

You don't have to kill sabertooth tigers to be strong. I'm saying there is something about a sexy girl curling up to you or staying close to you on a dark street that appeals to me in a primitive way.