There's a 34 year old single Asian girl at my workplace that has a 2 year old child. She’s 10 years older than me but she looks fairly young due to Asian genetics. I definitely find her attractive. She has a petite figure with some really big titties.

When I used to work in the same department with her, we always subtly flirted with one another but I never made any moves because it was too risky sitting in a cubicle right next to a woman I'm sleeping with. Since she moved to a different department, I no longer see her as much but we still chat on our workplace instant messaging application from time to time.

She wants me to go hang out with her and her son this weekend at the National Zoo but I haven’t given her a concrete decision yet. I've already met her child and I know that the baby daddy is living somewhere in the West Coast (I live in the Northern Virginia/DC area). With the son being extremely young, I don’t think me being in their life at this stage would be a significant impact but that perspective could certainly be flawed.

Does anyone have advice in regards to dealing with single mothers, as to what risks and things to watch out for? I just want to make it clear that I don’t want a long-term relationship with her and that is something I will let her know from the get-go. We are simply at two different points in our lives but I’m always down for something casual and fun. I’m not sure if she feels the same about my previous statement but I’m obviously not going to tell her that until I smash.

She's not stupid, considering she's both 34 and a single-mother. She knows you're 24 and probably not going to get involved in an LTR with her.

That being said, it's strange that she's initiating your first hangout with the child rather than just get a babysitter.

I would reply something to the effect of "why don't you just get a babysitter and we'll go out for drinks instead later that night?" Based on her response to that, it will give you a little more clarity.

Damn dude. next

Just tell her you're busy during the day but free in the evening if she'd like to catch up for a drink. If she says she can't just say "too bad, maybe another time then". It will be clear to her you aren't comfortable being around the kid and she will decide she'd rather have your company anyway and will probably reinitiate on her own.

They are usually dtf after they put their kid to bed. She probably just wants to hang with you for a few hours to get to know you.

Quote: (09-26-2012 03:11 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

Just tell her you're busy during the day but free in the evening if she'd like to catch up for a drink.

This is even better. Go to her place when the kid is asleep.

Thanks for the feedback guys.

I spoke with her today and the zoo trip may be canceled. Whatever.

I'm going to try to isolate and hang out at her house. I think she wants me to put a little bit of work in, hence why she's asking me if I wanted to chill with her and her son. Basically just to see if I'm a good guy.

Pal if you would enjoy going to the zoo with her and the kid go and you will probably have a really fun time.

Chics with kids want to see you are cool with the kid and then will do whatever you want- good for you

Don't be too obvious with the trying to get over at night just for a lay thing in the beginning, there will be plenty time for that.

Most importantly forget about this making it clear up front you just want a bang, I hear guys saying this all the time and its such a bad idea for so many reasons, you ruin the mystique and magic for her and often your chances of getting laid, a woman that bangs a guy after a few dates knows that he is not committed to her, but doesn't want to hear that, she wants to live the fairytale as is often discussed here, so say little and bang her to your hearts content.

Single mothers are often good for what you want as they are too busy with the kid to hassle you, will be grateful so generally do what you want in bed and will often have plans with the kid so you can be off picking up other chics

I would never lead a single mother on, but hey that's just me.

asking you to hang out with her son on what is essentially a first date is weird. single moms are usually careful about letting their kids meet the guys they date, to avoid the confusion of children meeting a bunch of dudes who are just flings.

so as others suggested, I would suggest meeting up for drinks at night, and if she can't do it, I don't think it is worth the effort.

Fuck. That kid is going to be fucked up. You know if she's inviting you out for a first date with the kid, she's already done it with several other men. The kid is already probably desensitized. Man I hate mothers like this.

Maybe she was just testing you. Maybe she never planned to follow through with the zoo date. It's possible that she just wanted to see how you would react when she suggested it.

Under normal circumstances I think a first date with a kid is totally bizarre, but OP and the single mom have been coworkers and cubicle buddies for quite some time, so I don't think it's weird in this case.

^ Yes, she feels she knows you good enough to bring her kid around. You can be nice and let her know you're not looking for a relationship so she can't get mad after y'all bang,

I've been using direct game more because I've known her for about 10 months now and she seems receptive to it. I asked her yesterday to hang out with me but she said she couldn't. She's playing hard to get.. preserving whatever value she has left to offer.

I'm not too pressed about getting her considering the situation. I think she may feel a little uncomfortable being with someone 10 years younger than her. She probably knows I won't be committed to a long term relationship and she may be looking for more security than anything because she's getting older now. On a sidenote, it's rather amusing seeing the old and middle aged men at work try to spit game at her.

If this one fails though, then oh well. There will be more opportunities for better girls.

I've dated/banged many MILFs and it's really rare that they want you to meet the kid even briefly on a first date.

Most of them take pains to keep their guys away from the kid so the kid doesn't see a parade of guys that the mother is having short term flings with to satisfy her emotional and sexual needs. That is just good parenting.

What this chick is doing is inappropriate and when you add in the fact that she works for the same employer, you are asking for trouble on two different fronts. I would just fade out contact with her. Plenty of other girls out there-you don't need to get involved with her.

This reminds me of the time the broad brought her 9 month old to a hotel meetup.... Couldn't get a sitter. hah

Yeah, I banged while the kid slept in his car seat next to the bed.

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:20 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

This reminds me of the time the broad brought her 9 month old to a hotel meetup.... Couldn't get a sitter. hah

Yeah, I banged while the kid slept in his car seat next to the bed.

We have more shit single mom parents than anyplace on earth! Gotta love this place. I used to bang theses sluts out all the time but since having my own kid I've grown a strong opinion regards to bad parenting. By the way...If you give them shit about being bad parents it make the panties wet. Sick but true. I'm on a muthafuckin high horse with this shit and make all the milfs feel my parenting superiority. Easy easy.

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:34 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

By the way...If you give them shit about being bad parents it make the panties wet. Sick but true.

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:20 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

This reminds me of the time the broad brought her 9 month old to a hotel meetup.... Couldn't get a sitter. hah

Yeah, I banged while the kid slept in his car seat next to the bed.

It can be worse.

Banged a 21 year old mother of an 18-month old who slept in a crib in the same room right next to us... and her mom terminally ill with cancer (which she told me after) slept in the next room over.

Quote: (10-02-2012 03:02 PM)IQVX Wrote:  

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:20 AM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

This reminds me of the time the broad brought her 9 month old to a hotel meetup.... Couldn't get a sitter. hah

Yeah, I banged while the kid slept in his car seat next to the bed.

It can be worse.

Banged a 21 year old mother of an 18-month old who slept in a crib in the same room right next to us... and her mom terminally ill with cancer (which she told me after) slept in the next room over.

I think the worst I've done is the baby on the floor while we use the bed.

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:34 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

By the way...If you give them shit about being bad parents it make the panties wet. Sick but true. I'm on a muthafuckin high horse with this shit and make all the milfs feel my parenting superiority. Easy easy.

Can you drop some points about what makes a good parent?

Quote: (10-03-2012 05:30 AM)storm Wrote:  

Quote: (10-02-2012 11:34 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

By the way...If you give them shit about being bad parents it make the panties wet. Sick but true. I'm on a muthafuckin high horse with this shit and make all the milfs feel my parenting superiority. Easy easy.

Can you drop some points about what makes a good parent?

I can drop some points about what makes a bad parent..
Someone who puts their wants before the childrens needs. Take my kids mom for instance. She supposed to watch her friday nights and looks for thing to do that night and will leave my kid at someones house. Or this girl I was banging would leave her young kids home alone and try to chase me around town. I told her I wouldn't date her and her kids need her. She didn't care. Someone who feeds the kids Mcnuggets every night because they are to lazy or stupid to make healthy food. Women who trade their food stamp cards for drugs or smokes etc etc..

Been searching for a thread like this for a while. Basically my situation as follows....

Started a new job and there is this hot blonde single mom. She is friendly and we have flirted back and forth via work instant messenger, few months back on a work night out we were flirting (bit of kino, loads of eye contact) and she starts stroking my leg under the table, anyway like a dupe i froze and didn't push it forward.
Now I have no problem gaming chicks in bas/clubs and can open sets for fun. But each time i see this girl at work i go into full on panic mode and can't think straight let alone try to game her (when it should be the easiest thing ever). Anyway out of deperation/idiocy I privately messaged (not at work) her asking her out for a coffee (tried to keep it low key) and well she has not responded. I saw her at work and I'm pretty sure she got the message and has read it, but don't know what my next step should be.

Have I completely fu***d this up?

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Does anyone have advice in regards to dealing with single mothers, as to what risks and things to watch out for?

Watch out for other women so you have a lot of options instead of feeling clueless about a single mom 10 years older than you and way past her prime.

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I just want to make it clear that I don’t want a long-term relationship with her and that is something I will let her know from the get-go.

A field trip with her son is way past the get-go. Meeting her kid and doing fun shit with him is not a "short-term" strategy.

Quote: (01-16-2016 06:47 AM)Chengiz88 Wrote:  

Anyway out of deperation/idiocy I privately messaged (not at work) her asking her out for a coffee (tried to keep it low key) and well she has not responded. I saw her at work and I'm pretty sure she got the message and has read it, but don't know what my next step should be.

Have I completely fu***d this up?

Based on this: most likely. Private messaging is too beta/non-confrontational. Should have got her isolated somewhere in the office and chat a bit and ask her in person but now that you sent this message which she has likely read and ignored then going for anything further would look desperate as fuck.

You should be careful messing with girls you work with anyway. Don't shit where you eat and all that. Should have tried to pull her when she was getting cozy with you at that party but you choked and missed the opportunity.

There are other girls.