We were talking about something getting stolen and I said “yea you will deff get caught 100% for that”, then she says “not if your name is EX, he got away with this and that” I ignored it and moved on, whats up with that though? Harmless conversation?

I can understand if if pertained to something that makes sense by why say all that? Been with this chick going on two years, aint afraid to send her to hell and im not too suspicious of her but it does get me thinking sometimes..

It is not a good sign, especially in that context.

I wouldn't say its a relationship death sentence if this is the first and only time it has happened, but it should not be a recurring theme. Your girl shouldn't be thinking about her exes multiple years into dating you. If she has mentioned similar things before in that context, it is a problem.

Not a good sign. Ghost for a couple of days

Can you define "Girl friend"?

This is a LTR girl you've been dating? Or a girl you just met? Or a girl you know via social game? I don't quite understand the type of girl friend in your context.

If it's a legit LTR girlfriend, I don't really care because I mention my girlfriends and exs all the time too and knows that she needs to try hard to keep me. If it's a cold approach girl you barely know, hm. You can try to match her "casual-ness" and see if that still possible to sexualize it and lead to a bang. Or it doesn't lead anywhere. It might be a shet test or a friend zoning move to me. I can't tell for sure since I don't fully understand the context in your case.

Usually when someone mentions a name linking it with an event they have been thinking about it for some other reasons and then the brain normally links the events.
I'd concentrate more on the "why" she has been thinking about him?

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

Give her the pet name of (next) when she ask why you keep calling her next say you've been tapping into your subconscious. If she ask what that means, shrug your shoulders.

Or when a girl I'm seeing gets fresh with me I've been known to just assign them another female name all together. Nothing pisses off a Lena more than calling her Ana.


...

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I don't believe that it is a good sign that a man has his frame rattled because a girl mentions some other dude, especially in such a milquetoast context as this. It seem a little drama-ish to insist that the universe of males in conversations must shrink to n=1.

If she's making comparisons about you and an ex, that's one thing, and should not be permitted. But merely mentioning a remembrance of her life experiences that happens to include some other dude is quite another. She had a life before you, as you did before her.

If a girl Im seeing talks about an ex, the exchange that follows is something close to:

PT "Reminds me of Svetlana?"

Offending Girl (OG) "Who's Svetlana?"

PT "Svetlana was a Russian girl I dated for a long time because she could deepthroat me ball deep with no hands. Best blowjobs ever"

OG "Uhhh..why would say something like that to me?"

PT "Well I thought we were discussing exes. I got more stories about other exes. Wanna hear them?"

OG "Not really"

PT "So we're not discussing exes then?"

OG "Oh well I was just ..."

PT "Are we discussing exes?... yes or no?"

I have also used the story about a Puerto Rican girl that could only orgasm via anal as the near nuclear option

That usually gets the message across and discussion about respect follows.

Quote: (05-24-2018 10:55 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I think telling a girl you don't want to hear that will come across as insecure.

I personally would just ignore it unless she brought it up to intentionally see how you would react... you only know the real context.

When you say I don't want to hear about your ex all you're really saying is it makes me feel insecure and it gets to me because I might not measure up to him in some way or the other.

The above is very bad frame. Even making issue of it is bad frame.

I've had girls bring up exes and I just exchange stories of mine in return. Why give a fuck about it.? most of the time it's harmless conversation.

Men tend to be very insecure about a females past sexual history.

Like the old quote that goes like this... Every man wants to be a girls first and every girl wants to be a mans last.

Funny story. I was at the pool yesterday with some of my lady friends. My feet are pretty banged up because I wear work boots a lot and do jiu jitsu. My one friend was like "You should get a pedicure", to which I immediately respond along the lines of "that's fag shit; men don't need pretty feet. What the fuck."

So I text my LTR about it with a LOL and she responds "My ex used to go with me when I got pedicures. That says everything that needs to be said." I actually thought that was funny.

Case in point, who cares?

Our frame of reference is built on our experiences, of which our exes are a part of. I talk about my exes sometimes, but it's usually in the context of "When I was in Mexico with blah blah blah" or "When I was hiking the Beehive in Maine with blah blah blah". (Not "My ex used to give the best blowjobs. Sucked me dry every single time, practically took the skin right off of it.") The older you get, the more exes you'll have, and the more experiences you'll have. Expressing your experiences is how you relate to other people, within reason.

I don't think her comment was worth getting bent out of shape over. If she keeps talking about him in the context of "He's so cool" or "We had the best time together", I'd might be direct, but with a grin, and say "You sure talk about your ex a lot..." See how she reacts. It will go one of two ways -- she'll either be like "Well, we broke up because [he's a loser / pussy / boring / whatever] or "I have to be honest, I do miss him sometimes." If she says the latter, tell her you'll give her space to get her affairs in order and then move on with your life. ("Babe, sounds like you need some space to figure stuff out. I wish you all the best. Call me sometime.")

That aside, in my opinion, letting her know you're upset about it makes you look insecure. My personal approach is that I don't let anything rattle me. If she pisses me off too much, I generally just dial back my time and affection. I don't get mad, I don't confront her, I usually don't even say anything.

"Hank, haven't heard from you in a few days. Wanna go get dinner and play racquetball?"
"nah. hanging w rob tonight"
"Oh, ok. What about tomorrow?"
[no response]
[Next day]
"Are you mad at me?"
"no"
"Okay. I just haven't heard from you in awhile."
[hours later]
"gotta make big moves to win football games"
"I could really go for lobster from Seafood Place."
[no response]

I've found that this approach keeps it all very simple. Everything is light, and everything is fun. If she comes back around, she does. If not, I'll just spend my time around people who don't annoy me. It also leaves the door open. I'm not big on closing doors or "breaking up" with women. I just let things unfold and dedicate my time accordingly.

Going "dark" is almost an art. If you just completely ignore her, it's passive aggressive. If you just dial it back and respond sparingly, it basically sends the message that you're filling your time with other things and people. From there, she'll either pursue you or she won't.

The issue isnt about your insecurity. Its about her lack of recognition at best and lack of respect at worst.

Its either bad form or a shit test; either way you have to nip that in the bud.

Once you are banging a girl the shit tests dont stop; they just change. They go from being hurdles you have to overcome to get the pussy, to deposits in the relationship power dynamic "bank". You let little shit test deposits accrue unchecked and you pay with respect and ultimately attraction withdrawals.

Im not advocating displaying with some type of butthurt response. Rather using it a teaching moment.

Edit: Context is important. If its a one-off comment that was pertinent to a story is different than some type of frame test. The trick is to recognize the difference.

Quote: (05-24-2018 11:50 AM)nola Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 10:55 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I think telling a girl you don't want to hear that will come across as insecure.

I personally would just ignore it unless she brought it up to intentionally see how you would react... you only know the real context.

When you say I don't want to hear about your ex all you're really saying is it makes me feel insecure and it gets to me because I might not measure up to him in some way or the other.

The above is very bad frame. Even making issue of it is bad frame.

I've had girls bring up exes and I just exchange stories of mine in return. Why give a fuck about it.? most of the time it's harmless conversation.

Men tend to be very insecure about a females past sexual history.

Like the old quote that goes like this... Every man wants to be a girls first and every girl wants to be a mans last.

Yeah I'm not saying I exactly endorse having a dialogue that makes you sound butthurt, but rather let it be known that you aren't into hearing about other men she used to be with.

You can address such things without coming off as an insecure pussy.

Quote: (05-24-2018 12:49 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 11:50 AM)nola Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 10:55 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I think telling a girl you don't want to hear that will come across as insecure.

I personally would just ignore it unless she brought it up to intentionally see how you would react... you only know the real context.

When you say I don't want to hear about your ex all you're really saying is it makes me feel insecure and it gets to me because I might not measure up to him in some way or the other.

The above is very bad frame. Even making issue of it is bad frame.

I've had girls bring up exes and I just exchange stories of mine in return. Why give a fuck about it.? most of the time it's harmless conversation.

Men tend to be very insecure about a females past sexual history.

Like the old quote that goes like this... Every man wants to be a girls first and every girl wants to be a mans last.

Yeah I'm not saying I exactly endorse having a dialogue that makes you sound butthurt, but rather let it be known that you aren't into hearing about other men she used to be with.

You can address such things without coming off as an insecure pussy.

This is just sort of my personal preference and disposition...

My professional life involves nothing but conflict. So in my personal life, I try and avoid it at all costs. When I'm not on the clock, I'm only looking to have fun, blow off steam, and recharge my batteries. My life is so full of conflict that I don't need any more. Conflict is my living. However, my personal life is the opposite -- it's fun, it's funny, and it's casual. I'd rather be wearing sandals on a beach sipping on a mojito and laughing.

When I don't find a woman's presence pleasurable, I simply fill my time with other stuff. A good workout, a different woman, a house project, maybe write a blog post or call a (male) friend.

The way I put it is this: you're either in the "inner-circle" or you're not. If you're "in", we go to the gym, travel, eat at nice restaurants, play racquetball, text, camp, hike, and do fun stuff. (applies to all women, not just bangs). If you're out, you don't exist to me. Once you're out, I can barely be bothered to unlock my phone to respond. It's as simple as that. (This is going to sound incredibly arrogant, but about 95% of the women I've booted from the "inner-circle" end up begging to get back in. I keep life pretty interesting.)

Perhaps my abundance mentality has gone too far, but I'm not going to ruin my weekend (or even weeknight) over a woman. She either makes my life more enjoyable, or she doesn't.

If she doesn't, I'll go do other stuff with other people.

All in all, if this girl isn't bringing joy to your life, find a different one who does. There are plenty of women out there who will enrich your life.

Obviously she isn't really over the effect he had on her. How did they break up? How many years did they date?

He probably rocked her world to be getting mentions two years later like that.

If you had her for two years already, that's long enough LTR wise. Any longer will ruin whatever is left that is good. Either marry her or next.

Quote: (05-24-2018 12:49 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 11:50 AM)nola Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 10:55 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I think telling a girl you don't want to hear that will come across as insecure.

I personally would just ignore it unless she brought it up to intentionally see how you would react... you only know the real context.

When you say I don't want to hear about your ex all you're really saying is it makes me feel insecure and it gets to me because I might not measure up to him in some way or the other.

The above is very bad frame. Even making issue of it is bad frame.

I've had girls bring up exes and I just exchange stories of mine in return. Why give a fuck about it.? most of the time it's harmless conversation.

Men tend to be very insecure about a females past sexual history.

Like the old quote that goes like this... Every man wants to be a girls first and every girl wants to be a mans last.

Yeah I'm not saying I exactly endorse having a dialogue that makes you sound butthurt, but rather let it be known that you aren't into hearing about other men she used to be with.

You can address such things without coming off as an insecure pussy.

Why? what's the point.? why address it? what will it accomplish even if you don't come across as a insecure pussy.?

The mere fact of addressing it no matter how it comes across is insecure.

Maybe she's a complete social retard and he can address it without her seeing through the fact it made him uncomfortable. In that case you're correct, he could.

I come from the camp that I will give a girl the benefit of the doubt. Meaning it's likely she'll see his confronting this as a vulnerability that she can later exploit when he's at his weakest.

If you ever watch two women in an argument you'll notice they go for the jugular. Some of the most dark triad shit I've ever seen was woman on woman. It's actually quiet impressive.

If the OP let's his guard down for some frivolous shit like talking about an ex don't think for a moment his honey bunny won't categorize that shit for a later date in her mental munitions depot.

He might be only a few conversations away from Dima Donkey Dick doing a swift intervention to mitigate the ramifications of her feelings of disgust.

Quote: (05-24-2018 01:05 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 12:49 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 11:50 AM)nola Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 10:55 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 09:49 AM)Tigre Wrote:  

Just educate her that you don't want to hear that.

It might not be obvious to a girl. Present it as a personal preference.

**

"I'm not interested in any story you have about an ex of yours.

If you ask me any questions about an ex of mine, I will probably tell you the answer. Otherwise, same goes for me - you won't hear any stories about ex's from my side."

^ This is the right answer.

It's surely harmless. She was just bringing up a relevant story about your conversation with someone else she had experience with. She may not know that it's a bit disrespectful to you to be talking about her exes. Guide her.

I think telling a girl you don't want to hear that will come across as insecure.

I personally would just ignore it unless she brought it up to intentionally see how you would react... you only know the real context.

When you say I don't want to hear about your ex all you're really saying is it makes me feel insecure and it gets to me because I might not measure up to him in some way or the other.

The above is very bad frame. Even making issue of it is bad frame.

I've had girls bring up exes and I just exchange stories of mine in return. Why give a fuck about it.? most of the time it's harmless conversation.

Men tend to be very insecure about a females past sexual history.

Like the old quote that goes like this... Every man wants to be a girls first and every girl wants to be a mans last.

Yeah I'm not saying I exactly endorse having a dialogue that makes you sound butthurt, but rather let it be known that you aren't into hearing about other men she used to be with.

You can address such things without coming off as an insecure pussy.

This is just sort of my personal preference and disposition...

My professional life involves nothing but conflict. So in my personal life, I try and avoid it at all costs. When I'm not on the clock, I'm only looking to have fun, blow off steam, and recharge my batteries. My life is so full of conflict that I don't need any more. Conflict is my living. However, my personal life is the opposite -- it's fun, it's funny, and it's casual. I'd rather be wearing sandals on a beach sipping on a mojito and laughing.

When I don't find a woman's presence pleasurable, I simply fill my time with other stuff. A good workout, a different woman, a house project, maybe write a blog post or call a (male) friend.

The way I put it is this: you're either in the "inner-circle" or you're not. If you're "in", we go to the gym, travel, eat at nice restaurants, play racquetball, text, camp, hike, and do fun stuff. (applies to all women, not just bangs). If you're out, you don't exist to me. Once you're out, I can barely be bothered to unlock my phone to respond. It's as simple as that. (This is going to sound incredibly arrogant, but about 95% of the women I've booted from the "inner-circle" end up begging to get back in. I keep life pretty interesting.)

Perhaps my abundance mentality has gone too far, but I'm not going to ruin my weekend (or even weeknight) over a woman. She either makes my life more enjoyable, or she doesn't.

If she doesn't, I'll go do other stuff with other people.

All in all, if this girl isn't bringing joy to your life, find a different one who does. There are plenty of women out there who will enrich your life.

First allow me to say that I like all Hank's posts, they're detailed enough and never boring...also with examples.
On this one though I'd like to make an observation...
The OP is talking about his girlfriend, Hank I think you're talking about the girls you casually see, plates or whatever you call them. I think there's a difference here.
I do agree though to keep it light, fun and maintain your frame...but when his girlfriend is bringing up the ex I bet the OP needs to address this directly!
Cheers!

Quote: (05-24-2018 12:16 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

The issue isnt about your insecurity. Its about her lack of recognition at best and lack of respect at worst.

Its either bad form or a shit test; either way you have to nip that in the bud.

Once you are banging a girl the shit tests dont stop; they just change. They go from being hurdles you have to overcome to get the pussy, to deposits in the relationship power dynamic "bank". You let little shit test deposits accrue unchecked and you pay with respect and ultimately attraction withdrawals.

Im not advocating displaying with some type of butthurt response. Rather using it a teaching moment.

Edit: Context is important. If its a one-off comment that was pertinent to a story is different than some type of frame test. The trick is to recognize the difference.

To my humble opinion I think the bold part is the best answer here so far!

Quote: (05-24-2018 02:12 PM)nola Wrote:  

Why? what's the point.? why address it? what will it accomplish even if you don't come across as a insecure pussy.?

The mere fact of addressing it no matter how it comes across is insecure.

Maybe she's a complete social retard and he can address it without her seeing through the fact it made him uncomfortable. In that case you're correct, he could.

I come from the camp that I will give a girl the benefit of the doubt. Meaning it's likely she'll see his confronting this as a vulnerability that she can later exploit when he's at his weakest.

If you ever watch two women in an argument you'll notice they go for the jugular. Some of the most dark triad shit I've ever seen was woman on woman. It's actually quiet impressive.

If the OP let's his guard down for some frivolous shit like talking about an ex don't think for a moment his honey bunny won't categorize that shit for a later date in her mental munitions depot.

He might be only a few conversations away from Dima Donkey Dick doing a swift intervention to mitigate the ramifications of her feelings of disgust.

Contrary to what you may think, no woman is perfect out-of-the-box.

She's gonna have habits you may not like, and you may have some preferences that need to be met.

It's impossible to get either of those without some intervention. Relationships are not autopilot. If you're going to be with a girl long-term, then you need to game your woman beyond Day 1: get her into bed.

Clearly, OP does not like his girl bring up unsolicited stories of other dudes she used to fuck with. I wouldn't either. Perhaps her last guy(s) she was with didn't mind or just put up with it, but OP doesn't want to be that guy. He wants what he wants.

Enter: game.

You supply guidance to your woman to help mold her into the girl you are most happy with.

If you're with a girl and she does something you don't like, how do you deal with it? Do the AlphaMale™ move and cut her out of your life?

Quote: (05-23-2018 05:04 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

We were talking about something getting stolen and I said “yea you will deff get caught 100% for that”, then she says “not if your name is EX, he got away with this and that”

?

What exactly are you talking about stealing? A pack of gum or the Hope Diamond?

If it's the latter, then you're dead in the water.

I'm (sorta) kidding but look at the context. Either way, she is placing her ex on some type of bad boy/criminal pedestal and we all know what bad boys do to girl's pussies. In her eyes, he can break the law and do whatever the fuck he wants and get away with it. This is female perceived Alpha behavior.

Quote: (05-24-2018 02:30 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Quote: (05-24-2018 02:12 PM)nola Wrote:  

Why? what's the point.? why address it? what will it accomplish even if you don't come across as a insecure pussy.?

The mere fact of addressing it no matter how it comes across is insecure.

Maybe she's a complete social retard and he can address it without her seeing through the fact it made him uncomfortable. In that case you're correct, he could.

I come from the camp that I will give a girl the benefit of the doubt. Meaning it's likely she'll see his confronting this as a vulnerability that she can later exploit when he's at his weakest.

If you ever watch two women in an argument you'll notice they go for the jugular. Some of the most dark triad shit I've ever seen was woman on woman. It's actually quiet impressive.

If the OP let's his guard down for some frivolous shit like talking about an ex don't think for a moment his honey bunny won't categorize that shit for a later date in her mental munitions depot.

He might be only a few conversations away from Dima Donkey Dick doing a swift intervention to mitigate the ramifications of her feelings of disgust.

Contrary to what you may think, no woman is perfect out-of-the-box.

She's gonna have habits you may not like, and you may have some preferences that need to be met.

It's impossible to get either of those without some intervention. Relationships are not autopilot. If you're going to be with a girl long-term, then you need to game your woman beyond Day 1: get her into bed.

Clearly, OP does not like his girl bring up unsolicited stories of other dudes she used to fuck with. I wouldn't either. Perhaps her last guy(s) she was with didn't mind or just put up with it, but OP doesn't want to be that guy. He wants what he wants.

Enter: game.

You supply guidance to your woman to help mold her into the girl you are most happy with.

If you're with a girl and she does something you don't like, how do you deal with it? Do the AlphaMale™ move and cut her out of your life?

At what point did I say I think a woman can or could be perfect out of the box.? Those Cracker Jack boxes never hit the shelves of anywhere I've been.

We are not talking about getting a woman to put on a dress, wear heels or speak without using the word (fuck) at thanksgiving dinner.

Molding a woman sounds to me like woman speak. Kinda like how when they go with the criminal they want to turn into a husband/father but stays a criminal. Then they remain confused on how he ended up back in prison despite their willingness to bear his child.

This is the kinda retarded mental gymnastics women do.

You ask what I'd do in this situation.?

First: I doubt I'd give a fuck, maybe for a split second or the time it takes me to roll my eyes but not much more than that.

Second: I'm not in the business of dating children so I expect any women I'm with to not act like a adolescent. If she does I'll ignore such behaviors and if they persist I'll eject myself from the relationship.

Last: I personally tend to focus my mental efforts towards my business and not a woman plus I have a whole other laundry list of personalities I pay to manage.

My grandfather used to say to me all you need to know about personalities is that you cannot change them. He was married 65 years and had 5 kids.

Regarding the OPs post... this seems like too much investment in comparison to mental strife it's causing him. I could see that time investment going elsewhere or to a girl that might be more suited to his personality.

That does not make the OP more or less of a man than me. Some guys just can't bare the fact other dicks have been inside their girl or the fact they had feelings for someone else other than them. If the simple act of hearing of another man is bothering him I'd guess there is a lot more to this story we don't know.

For myself at least, I personally don't care about stuff like that. This does not make me an alpha male. It just means I tend to focus my mental energy on things and people that elevate my mood and happiness.

If I ever felt the need to train a women it's inevitable in my case that I'd cut her loose.

That's what I'd do.

Quote: (05-24-2018 04:00 PM)nola Wrote:  

At what point did I say I think a woman can or could be perfect out of the box.?

You're inferring this by making it clear that you think it is pointless to try to address and correct any bad behavior:

Quote:Quote:

Why? what's the point.? why address it?

Do you have a "Take it or leave it" mindset when it comes to women?

Quote: (05-24-2018 04:00 PM)nola Wrote:  

You ask what I'd do in this situation.?

I asked what you would do if you're with a girl that did something you didn't like. Not what you would do in OP's exact situation of a girl talking about her ex.

Quote: (05-24-2018 04:00 PM)nola Wrote:  

If I ever felt the need to train a women it's inevitable in my case that I'd cut her loose.

Sounds to me you are not long-term relationship minded or at least have unrealistic expectations of what a long-term relationship looks like.

Thats not a bad thing, but it's also no relevant to OP's issue.

When you spin plates or just bang girls casually here and there, then it is very easy to dismiss a girl for seemingly innocuous shit like cussing at the dinner table or bringing up stories about her old bangs, or vice versa; overlooking those things because you don't care about your investment in this girl down-the-road.

Quote: (05-24-2018 02:45 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Quote: (05-23-2018 05:04 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

We were talking about something getting stolen and I said “yea you will deff get caught 100% for that”, then she says “not if your name is EX, he got away with this and that”

?

What exactly are you talking about stealing? A pack of gum or the Hope Diamond?

If it's the latter, then you're dead in the water.

I'm (sorta) kidding but look at the context. Either way, she is placing her ex on some type of bad boy/criminal pedestal and we all know what bad boys do to girl's pussies. In her eyes, he can break the law and do whatever the fuck he wants and get away with it. This is female perceived Alpha behavior.

Hopefully it wasn't her anal virginity that he stole and got away with. That would be rough.

Quote: (05-23-2018 05:04 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

We were talking about something getting stolen and I said “yea you will deff get caught 100% for that”, then she says “not if your name is EX, he got away with this and that” I ignored it and moved on, whats up with that though? Harmless conversation?

I can understand if if pertained to something that makes sense by why say all that? Been with this chick going on two years, aint afraid to send her to hell and im not too suspicious of her but it does get me thinking sometimes..

This is the equivalent of a girl talking about a prior boyfriend and saying something like:

"So and so was a badass."

And you're there thinking like...

"Aren't I a badass?"

And she's like...

"Haha, no, you are not a badass."

If you want to avoid situations like this, date girls with zero or maybe 1 or 2 prior sexual partners. Even if you're a handsome, successful businessman, you're not going to compete in the "badass" department with some dude that's been in and out of the slammer.

You're just not. And you shouldn't want to, either. For a girl, dating a criminal can be great, she gets the rush of breaking the law, without actually breaking it herself, plus she gets access to the benefits/profits of the criminality with none or a small fraction of the actual risk.

It's not a bad game from the girl's aspect, but from the guy's aspect, it's a very high-risk, low reward game, statistically.

So it's best to completely avoid being in that situation. Look at Trump's son's wife, the one that recently divorced him. She dated that Latin dude, and no other guy's success/money will ever give her the tingles that guy did. If you believe the articles published, she basically helped him break the law in some cases.

But if Trump's son had been her first, it could have been a different story.

It also depends on the girl, some girls just have different wiring, but yeah, if you date girls that have been with guys before you, this can happen. Not always, sometimes she hasn't dated criminals so you actually will be the most alpha guy she's been with, but if she's dated criminals, unless you also make a living in the underworld, you're in a bad spot.

You want to be the best man your girl's ever had, and also, the best man your girl thinks she can ever get. She's gotta feel like the luckiest girl in the world and see her job as doing everything she can to make sure you don't leave her.